Si Primo Venit
by KittenOfDoomage
Summary: What if Spike was turned before Angel? How would have things played out then? Challenge Response, eventually Spuffy.
1. In the beginning

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.

**Before you start:** This fic is a response to a challenge on Elysian Fields from _G0tik4_ which I was intrigued by and then an onslaught of spare time between phone calls created the following. I'm thinking this one may be longer than my regular fic! I am warning now, there will be multiple pairings in this fic, as well as canonical ones. There will be **Bangel, allusions to Spike/Darla, **possibly some **Spike/Dru_,_****Angel/Darla**, and eventually **Spuffy**. **This is a SPUFFY CENTRIC **story, the Bangel is required to get there. So please, don't flame me. If you don't want to see Bangel, don't read the fic. It won't be graphic Bangel. I'm not a fan. It's just required here. So yeah. Meh. Let me know what you think.**  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

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><p><strong>In the beginning...<strong>

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><p>William Harold Pratt was born in the hot summer of 1653 to Anne Mary Pratt (née Samwell) and Albert William Pratt, the son of a wealthy merchant family. The family estate was located outside of London, but they also owned estates in Yorkshire, Devon, Kent and they usually resided at a house in the newly built district of Westminster, the upper class part of London. As a boy, William knew nothing of the family business, the lower classes. His father died at the age of 29, when William was 3 - not an uncommon life expectancy in the 17th century. He was taken ill on a business trip, and soon after died from plague.<p>

William and his mother were left alone by then, and it was only with luck that Anne's brother knew how to manage their estates. So William grew up, and became a quiet reserved man, a seeker of knowledge and lover of poetry. He was mocked by his peers for his attempt at creating his own works, but his wealth protected him from the cruellest of jibes. Being wealthy, however was not enough to allow him a circle of friends, and so William spent most of his time doting on his mother.

When he was eighteen, he inherited his father's titles and business and this took him further away from home, although his travels were limited and he did not care for time away to himself. He spent his spare time with his nose in books, learning histories and languages, and the works of famous scholars. He returned home frequently but only to see his mother.

At the time of him turning 27, his mother was gravely ill with consumption and in the October of 1680, she passed away. William found himself alone, with no wife and no children, and money could not keep a man warm at night. He had no family either; his uncle had passed many years before and no other remained.

So, one cold October night, he found himself alone in a tavern, and one of ill repute, away from people he would know, drowning his sorrows in a tankard of ale.

That was where she found him.

'You look so sad, sir.'

William looked up. Before his quiet corner table stood a woman who looked out of place in the dank tavern. Her dress was spun in gold and white, the style ladies preferred, and her ample creamy bosom spilled from her bustier in a tantalizing way. Her long blonde hair was piled of top of her head with tendrils snaking down to frame her face, twinkling blue-grey eyes peering at him with sympathy and curiosity. She was beautiful and he suspected that her smile would tempt ships into rocks like a sirens call.

A prostitute then.

'I am fine, my lady.'

'You look lonely, sir. Could I provide some company for the evening?'

'I would decline your offer. I am suitably accompanied.'

She looked around, then looked back to him, a sly smile on her beautiful face. 'I see no company other than your tankard of ale.'

'My lady.' He tightened his voice, his jaw ticking in annoyance. 'I can assure you I am in no need of your specific company this fine eve.'

She smiled and leaned in, providing him with a clearer view of her breasts. 'Are you calling me a whore sir?' His eyes went wide and undeniably, he spluttered, his gaze darting around the room. No one paid them any mind. The woman moved around the table, seating herself next to the flustered William. 'I am not a whore, sweet sir. Maybe in another life, but not now.' She stroked his arm. 'I am merely a traveller, looking for some entertainment on my way through this dreary town.'

'My-my apologies, my lady.' The barrier of shame in William's throat was not moving. 'It's, er, it's only because one would not expect to usually see a lady in a place such as this.'

She smiled and offered her hand. 'My name is Darla.' He took the hand and placed a chaste kiss on her pale skin. Giving her first name was unusual, and although no wedding ring was apparent, he assumed she must be married to be un-chaperoned.

'William Pratt, my lady.' He bowed his head slightly to accompany his introduction; he was still finding her closeness to him uncomfortable. 'May I enquire as to the origin of your travel?'

'North America.' Darla replied, that siren smile on her face. Immediately he was captivated, nearing the rocks.

'You are far from home, my lady. What brings you to London?'

'Love, my dear William.'

'You travel with you husband then?' He waited for an answer, his eyes focused on her beautiful face. She laughed then, a sweet twinkling noise that enchanted him more than her face.

She never replied to the question, and for hours they sat talking about her travels. She spoke of the Americas, France, places he had never heard of in India and Africa, wild and dangerous places that enticed the writer in him. She spoke often of a man named Henrich, whom he assumed to be her husband, although the way she spoke of him was as if he were her saviour. He wondered how such a young woman had seen and experienced so much in such a short time.

It was drawing close to an hour past midnight when William noticed the lateness of the time.

'My lady Darla, allow me to accompany you to your quarters. I cannot allow a lady to travel alone through London; it is a dangerous place.'

She chuckled a little, and then nodded. 'You are quite gracious, dear William. I would be most grateful.' He could not help but beam at her. William had fallen helplessly under her spell. As they left the tavern, Darla took his arm and William smiled again, his earlier woes forgotten. Stepping outside the tavern into the dark and drizzle of London, a voice sent him crashing back to the reality of his life.

'William Pratt?' Footsteps brought the owner of the voice into the dim light of the oil lantern, a tall blonde man, oddly reminiscent of a Viking. 'That is you? William Pratt?'

'Robert Pevin.' William half-greeted, half-groaned. A childhood tormentor, who enjoyed mocking him, was not what William wanted this evening.

'William the Bloody!' Darla raised an eyebrow at the nickname, whilst William sank into himself. Pevin grinned broadly. 'Leaving a tavern of ill repute with what looks like a wench of ill repute!' The man guffawed loudly. 'Tell me, will you be composing a poem based on your victory over the weaker sex?' William was blushing bright red now, whilst Darla looked at the brute with interest. He leered at her. 'Please excuse the fool, my lady. Might you be looking for a real man to escort you this evening?'

Robert Pevin smiled again, revealing perfect white teeth. Darla regarded him for moment, smiling her sirens smile and then turned her nose up.

'I would think not, sir. I have a gentleman to accompany me already.' Robert's face fell into anger. Before he could respond, Darla started off down the street, a blindly obedient William following. He was so dumbfounded by her rejection of the other man, that he allowed her to lead him away from the lit streets. He did not argue with the direction, until he realised they were by the Thames, the pungent smell of the river making him gag. Darla seemed unaffected.

The buildings around them were slaughter houses and half derelict shells, piles of mud and bricks, probably the ruins of what the Great Fire of 1666 had destroyed. No one lived, or boarded, in these parts and for a moment, William grew fearful.

'My lady, I believe we are lost.'

'I believe you have, dear William.'

Darla turned and faced him, smiling softly. William furrowed his brow, looking at her with confusion.

'I'm afraid I do not grasp your meaning, my lady.'

'Stop calling me that, dear boy.' She sighed. 'You're lost. Lost in a world of propriety and manners. I saw you in that tavern and I thought, what _possible_ catastrophe came crashing down from heaven and brought this dashing stranger to his knees?'

William stared at her for a moment and then shook his head. 'I think that perhaps I should leave.'

'You've been alone too long William.' He bristled at her comment.

'You do not know anything of me.' He said, trying to strengthen his words but they came out barely more than a whisper.

'I've seen you.' She continued. 'A man surrounded by fools who cannot see his strength. His vision.' She stepped closer to him, almost pressing herself against him. 'His glory.' He held his breath, instinct telling him to run, her worlds compelling him to stay. 'You walk in worlds the others can't begin to imagine.'

'Yes.' The word came out as a breathy whisper and then he stopped. 'No. No. I must go.'

Darla grabbed his arm. 'I'm lonely.' She sighed. 'I have been for a long time. We're both looking for something more, William. I can give you that. Don't you want to see the things I've seen?' William hesitated, caught in her eyes and the promise of her words. She smiled, knowing he had surrendered.

'Close your eyes'...

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><p><strong>Westminster, Pratt Residence, November 1680<strong>

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><p>'This is not what I envisioned.' Darla snarled, slamming the door behind her as she entered the drawing room of the Pratt house. William relaxed on a chair, licking the blood from his fingers whilst his legs were draped over the arm. His posh clothes were torn and bloodied and he smiled as he savoured the red liquid on his hands. He chuckled at her vexation and she glared daggers at him. 'You're finding this so funny, dear William.'<p>

'Spike.' He drawled.

'I beg your pardon?' She paused, exasperated with the fledging vampire.

'The name is Spike.'

'Is that a reference to the mess you made on London Bridge with the corpses of your former peers? Beautiful work, really, but those were "pikes".'

'Prefer Spike. It's more...brutal.' He jumped from the chair, and grabbed her around the waist, making her yelp in surprise. 'And you love it brutal.'

She smiled. 'You are young, you will learn. These things need more finesse. A brawler will not survive long as a vampire. If the angry mob doesn't get you, a Slayer will.' She pulled away, readjusting her dress as the newly christened Spike stared at her. He tilted his head to the side, a curious look on his face.

'What's a Slayer?'


	2. Of Angels and Slayers

**Si Primo Venit**

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><p><strong>Of Angels And Slayers<strong>

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><p><strong>Germany, remote village 20 miles from Hamburg, 1700<strong>

He'd left Darla at the inn, and she'd not complained. She knew they they were in Germany and had no issues with his desires to kill a Slayer. After she'd told him about them, he'd become like a man possessed, and whilst she had been unimpressed with his methods, his "bar brawling" (and there was nothing as fun in his opinion), the level of his blood thirst for the one girl destined to slay his kind had enthralled her.

After his turning, he'd hidden away and sold off his family's land, acquiring a large amount of money. He wasn't going to run out of it if he made the right investments in the future, so travel had not been an issue for him and his Sire, and the lavish accommodations she was preferable to were not hard to come by. They had moved a lot in the beginning - his penchant for inciting mobs a problem that grated on Darla's nerves to no end. But he'd learnt to keep himself a gentleman around his Sire and the ruffian in him stopped leading the baying masses to her doorstep. There'd only been one incident in the past ten years - but how was he supposed to know that the young man who had challenged him was the son of a vampire hunter? These people didn't have signs around their necks proclaiming their heritage.

He'd got wind of the Slayer ten months ago. She was still young, two years a Slayer but only seventeen years of age. Her name was Ilsa Albrecht and she was dark of hair, fair of skin and had killed several notable demons and vampires in her home country. It was precious little information, but finding out her location was easy once he'd "interrogated" several Watchers, the tweed clad British self-proclaimed associates of the Slayer (or so he'd been informed). Darla said that interrogation was not supposed to be so messy, but hell with it, he'd enjoyed himself. Regardless of the mess, he was public enemy number one with the esteemed Watcher's Council and that fact alone gave him great joy.

So here he was, prowling the outskirts of a village shrouded in darkness attuning his senses to the buildings around him. A pig squealed as he passed its pen and he vamped out, wary that his presence would be revealed. It was late, hours before dawn but the sun had set long before he'd travelled from the inn two miles away. Covering that distance had been easy, but now he was hungry. He had refrained from feeding locally, to avoid those mobs Darla hated so much.

And he was not going to much this up. Not after 20 years of hunting for a Slayer good enough to fight.

A clanging noise pricked his ears and he smelt the fumes of burning metal. Curiosity grabbed him like a vice and he moved silently towards the sounds and smells. His senses led him away from the bulk of the village and out into the open with no cover, but he persisted, not afraid of the challenge awaiting him.

The clanging stopped, and the hissing of hot metal in water led him to assume he was approached a blacksmith. The lit up brick structure ahead called to him like a beacon, an unusual tingling running down his spine. It excited him and he grinned wickedly as he neared the building. As he came to the open front, he dropped all stealth at the sight of the German beauty stood before him, a fresh red hot sword resting on the anvil in front of her. Her dark eyes came to meet his golden gaze and he grinned, baring his fangs at her.

'Vampir.' She spoke in German as he had thought she would. Lucky for him, he knew the language. One of the benefits of being immortal was the ability to learn everything he could every desire to know.

'Mörder.' He replied in kind. His eyes darted to the sword resting on the anvil and he smiled again. 'Gotta love a girl with an anvil.'

'I was told of your coming.' The Slayer did not move, but apparently she spoke English. No doubt the Watcher's influence. Her accent was heavy as she spoke the foreign tongue.

'Thought you mighta been.' His eyes traversed the room, noting the impressive array of swords and axes. He looked back to her curiously. 'You make these?'

She nodded slowly. 'I do. A Slayer requires weapons.' She raised the sword to point it at him. 'You already have yours.' She pulled the sword back. 'But I will not be your trophy, William The Bloody.' He smiled, running a hand through his dirty blond hair.

'We'll see.'

'I have defeated many dämonen, vampir. Your dust will join theirs.' She was preparing herself to fight and instinctively, he knew that one of them would die tonight. He grinned widely as he saw her body tense, knowing she would attack first.

And attack she did.

Almost quicker than he could follow, she was bearing down on him, the red hot sword swinging in an arc aimed for his neck. He dodged the attack, spinning around her and planting a foot on her lower back. She stumbled but recovered quickly, bringing the sword around again, this time missing his midsection by a hairs breadth. He jumped backwards and they began to circle, their eyes locked, brown on golden, neither blinking. It became a battle of wills as they paced, waiting for the other to attack. Minutes passed and Spike quickly grew bored. He leapt for Ilsa, and she swerved his attack, bringing the sword down for his head again. She missed the main target, but the tip of the sword sliced through his left eyebrow, leaving an inch long gash. Spike roared in anger and pain, turning to face her, his gaze hateful and vicious. For a moment, Ilsa felt fear, and it was all his needed, the scent filling him.

He wiped his brow with the back of his hand, licking the blood from his skin. 'That stings.'

'I cool my blades in holy water.' She said, eyeing him carefully. He lifted his head, almost thoughtful.

Then he lunged. His right hand grabbed her sword hand, snapping her wrist backwards. She screamed, but it was short lived as his left hand closed around her throat. The sword clanged to the floor and the only sounds were the crackling of the blacksmith forge and her ragged breaths as he choked her.

Spike could hear her heart, beating so fast it deafened him. A yell came from somewhere in the village and he knew his time was short. He pulled the Slayer close, her fear palpable in the air now, his demon anticipating the kill. He sank his fangs into her throat and drank deep.

He would tell it later, that he'd practically flown back to Darla, the blood of a slayer the most intense and powerful feeling he'd ever had. He'd say the girl begged to live.

But as Ilsa had slowly died in his cold embrace, she had whispered one word to him.

'Danke.'

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><p><strong>Galway, Ireland, 1753<strong>

"Seventy years, Darla, and you're already bored of me?' Spike chuckled as he entered the room of the old house, the scent of another vampire strongly intertwined with his Sire's. He was not jealous; he didn't love Darla, but she was his Sire and he was nothing if not loyal. They had, on occasion, indulged their pleasures with each other, but he wouldn't complain if he had to find his elsewhere.

A giggle came from the bedroom and Spike smiled. She had been bored lately, and he couldn't blame her. His own obsession with Slayers had led them all over the world. She had enjoyed it at first, his wealth from his human life affording her all the luxuries possible. But lately it hadn't been enough.

He sniffed the air again and realised that the other vampire was Aurelian, one of their line. Either Henrich had returned, which was unlikely, him liking the underground so much and all that (Spike's encounter with the Master had been short, old batface hadn't been impressed with Darla's newest playmate) or, Darla had made herself a beau. She didn't do minions, so a childe would be more likely.

A man stumbled out of the bedroom then, clad in nothing but a bloodstained shirt. Spike eyed him carefully, and noted the still rosy complexion of his cheeks. Freshly turned.

Darla stumbled out behind him, in her undergarments and looking thoroughly ravaged. Spike smirked.

'An Irish lad, Darla? You sure you wanna keep this one?' The boy snarled and his demon came forth. He lunged for Spike, who laughed and threw the fledge across the room. The lad got to his feet quickly and prepared to charge again.

'Angelus.' Darla barked, her mouth curled in amusement. 'Control yourself.' The boy frowned, looking at their shared sire.

'Who is this?' His voice was deep and lilting; Spike snorted at the boy's ignorance. Darla glared at him and returned her attention to Angelus.

'Angelus, this is William.' Spike frowned at the use of his given name and Darla rolled her eyes. 'He prefers Spike. He is...' She smiled. 'He's my boy.' The tone was patronising, but Spike took it for affection as he always did.

'You fuck him too?' Angelus spat, clearly not understanding. Spike winced. This one would not last long. Darla's face clouded.

'Maybe we do, Angelus. We're vampires, not prudes. I am your Sire. I do not answer to you. I offered you a chance to see the world. You took it. If you've changed your mind, I'm sure Spike has a stake hidden around here somewhere.' Angelus stood tall, looking at Spike. The elder male eyed up the "rival" for a moment and then smiled.

'Come now, Darla.' Spike approached Angelus. 'I'm sure he'll learn. I did.' Darla snorted at his remark. 'Well, mostly. Anyway, it'd be good to have some male company. 'He held his hand out to Angelus. 'All the shopping mate, you've no idea.' He laughed and Angelus laughed too, although a edge of wariness tainted his mirth. He seized Spike's hand firmly and the older blond clapped a hand on the Irishman's shoulder, looking back at Darla.

'See? We're gonna be the best of friends.'

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><p><strong>A boarding house on the outskirts of Paris, June 1799<strong>

Spike swirled the brandy in the tumbler, glaring at the liquid as it moved sluggishly. He sighed and swallowed the whole lot in one gulp, closing his eyes as it burnt through his chest. The door to the apartment slammed open and three figures entered; Darla, Angelus and an obviously intoxicated teen-aged girl between them.

'Spike!' Angelus greeted, leering in his elders direction. 'We brought you a gift!'

Spike eyed the girl and sneered. 'Not my type, Liam, or have you forgotten. I like my women willing.'

'Ah, she'll be willing enough. With some training.' The brunette vampire laughed and Spike rolled his eyes in disgust. Darla looked at him in exasperation, dropping the girl into Angelus' hold.

'Spike, my boy-' He bristled at the affection now. She didn't seem to notice, and she approached, placing a hand on his shoulder. 'You seem frustrated. Why don't you come and share in the festivities.'

'Not in the mood.' He shrugged off her hand, ignoring her pout. Angelus tossed the girl onto the sofa behind the door, and she groaned as she rolled onto her side.

'Still haven't caught your Slayer?' He taunted and Spike growled.

'Piss off.'

'Leave him be, William.' Darla reprimanded, like a mother would a child.

'You can piss off, too.' He spat and Angelus snarled, grabbing Spike from his chair. He threw him against the wall and Spike eyed him coolly, knowing Angelus thought he had the upper hand. He had tried this many times over the past four decades - he had yet to show the skill required against an older vampire.

'Don't speak to her like that.' The brunette ground out. Seconds passed, then Spike broke Angelus' hold, throwing the younger to the floor and placing his booted foot on the back of the larger vamp's neck, just hard enough to hear the joints pop. Angelus grunted in anger, aware that he couldn't move, knowing full well that Spike could, and would, snap his neck.

'William...' Darla warned.

'What?' He demanded. 'Forty years I've put up with his shit, Darla.'

'William...' She started, more pleading this time.

'Why'd you bother with me, Darla? Why?' Spike asked, his tone plaintive yet still full of anger. 'You took me from my miserable life. For what?'

'I-' She started. 'I told you. I was looking for companionship. I thought-' She faltered, her eyes glancing to Angelus. 'He loves me.'

Spike made a noise of disgust. 'I love you.'

'No. It's not the same.' She shook her head. 'And you know it's not. You're loyal because you are my childe. You love me because of it. Angelus loves me in spite of it.' Spike relaxed his foot. Darla sighed. 'You're still looking for that love, William. You've filled the longing with Slayers and fighting. But one day, you'll know what I feel. How I feel.'

Spike looked at the vampire he had pinned and shrugged, letting him up. Angelus got to his feet, rolling his head to stretch his neck.

'Maybe you're right.' Spike admitted. 'But if he attacks me again, I will dust him.'

Darla shot a warning look to Angelus as Spike grabbed his coat. 'Where are you going?' She asked the blond as he grabbed the door handle.

'Enjoy your virgin despoiling. I'm going to get my Slayer.'

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><p><strong>Cimetière de Vaugirard, Paris, June 1799<strong>

Spike was still fuming when he hit the cemetery. He was in the mood for a fight and tonight only a Slayer would do. He knew nothing about this one - only that she resided in Paris. It was a long shot, Vaugirard cemetery was new, but that meant fresher corpses, more vampire likely. He only had a few hours until sunrise - if he couldn't find her, he'd just kill someone else. Maybe piss Darla off with a mob.

A yell made him turn and he launched into a run, hearing a struggle on the other side of a large mausoleum. He sprang off of a tomb, flinging himself onto the roof of the crypt and stopping. Below him, a demon had a young girl, maybe 14 or 15 years old. She was struggling against the beast, which was a good seven feet tall, green and yellow mottled skin dripping with viscous fluid in places. Its face was mangled and it's mouth a gaping maw, which looking like the girls destination.

Without thinking, Spike threw himself at the pair, knocking the girl loose. She hit a tombstone and went still, but Spike paid her no mind. The demon had stumbled but recovered quickly and it roared its displeasure as the vampire's intrusion. It barked at him in garbled words - a language Spike did not recognise. But he could hazard a guess that it was pissed.

It lumbered towards him, swiping with clawed appendages and Spike vamped out, avoiding the sharp talons and utilizing speed to get around the back of the creature. He sprang onto its back, and wrapped his arms around its neck. Twisting hard, he heard the demon's spine snap and the beast stumbled but Spike carried on twisting until flesh tore and with a guttural roar, he beheaded it and landed on the floor, rolling to the side with the severed head in his hands. He threw it away in disgust and got to his feet, stretching as he bathed in the feeling of a victory.

Then he remembered the girl.

She'd risen and was leaning against the tombstone she'd hit, regarding him with fear. Staring at her, he felt the tingle in his neck and realised she was the slayer.

He shook his gameface away and sighed, moving to her. She scrambled backwards, until he offered his hand to her.

'But...but you are a vampire.' She whispered in French. He nodded.

'Yes, I am, Mademoiselle. But I will not harm you.' His French wasn't perfect but it was understandable. She allowed him to help her up.

'You are a good vampire?' She asked and Spike burst out laughing. She looked insulted and he stopped, clearing his throat.

'My apologies. No. I am not good, in any sense of the word.'

'Then why do you help? I am the Slayer.' She stated, no sense of authority in her voice.

'Because I search for a worth opponent. You are not long called, no?'

She shook her head. 'Four weeks, Monsieur.'

'Marguerite!' A voice floated through the graveyard, laced heavily with anxiety. Her Watcher, no doubt. He turned to leave but the girl stopped him.

'Wait, Monsieur! Your name! I must know the name of my saviour.' Spike turned to her.

'I am not your saviour, Marguerite.' He looked at her, his face serious, blue eyes boring into her. 'My name is William The Bloody. In six months, I will return. Be ready.' He pulled himself and disappeared into the darkness, leaving Marguerite Allard standing dumbfounded on the damp grass.

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><p><strong>Hotel d'Aubusson, Paris, December 15th 1799<strong>

Spike studied the parchment closely, reading the sprawling announcement of Napoleon Bonaparte and his stabilization of the French government. The war was over, which would disappoint Darla. She had been anxious to leave soon, bored of the city now the war was lessening. He had only tonight to find the little French slayer and start the dance.

Picking up his coat, pilfered from a soldier a few days earlier, he left the hotel, not caring for Angelus or Darla's whereabouts. No doubt she was indulging her childe's obsession with nuns. Spike had spent the majority of his nights hunting independently from them, ever since they had fought over Darla's preference of the younger vampire.

He headed straight for the Cimetière de Vaugirard, and he was not disappointed. There, sat atop the tombstone he had left her by, sat Marguerite.

She had taken his warning seriously, it seemed, showing non of the fear and uncertainty from their last encounter and exuding the natural confidence of a slayer. She was leaner than he remembered too, dressed in boys clothes, her hair tucked under a cap.

He smiled as he approached. She did not reciprocate.

'You are late, William The Bloody.' She said, still in French. Obviously the Watchers hadn't taught this one as they had Ilsa.

'Sorry about that.' He grinned, stopping in front of her. She hopped down off her perch, stake in hand.

'I have read about you. You have killed a slayer before.' She eyed him carefully.

'I have.' He confirmed.

'I will not be a trophy.' She ground out, raising her stake.

'That's what the last one said.' He smiled, revealing his fangs. Marguerite span, raising her leg to kick him, and he caught it easily, not realising she'd thrown herself around in his grip, her other foot colliding with his head. They both hit the floor with a thud and Spike laughed with excitement. 'Knew you just needed a bit of time, luv.'

'I am not your love, vampire.' She attacked again, straddling his chest and punching his face. Blow after blow landed and she raised her stake, ready to kill him but he bucked underneath her, sending her flying over his head. He stood, wiping the blood from his nose. Marguerite got to her feet, but she'd lost her stake. He didn't give her a chance as he tackled her to the floor, punching her in the stomach as they rolled. She kicked him away and scrambled for her stake, putting her boot in his face as he tried to drag her backwards. She escaped from his grasp as he yelled, clutching his now broken nose.

She grabbed her stake and whirled to face him. But he was there, in her face, inches away. She thrust the stake forward, feeling it crunch through bone and flesh and then...

...she waited...

But he remained, angry golden eyes staring at her, blood pouring from his nose, down his chin and into the hollow of his throat. He grasped her arms as she looked down and saw her stake embedded in his flesh, piercing his rib cage. She had missed his heart.

And he was going to kill her. She had no way out.

So she kissed him.

To say he was shocked was an understatement. But he didn't stop her, not for a moment. Then he realised what was occurring.

He pulled away, holding her at arms length.

They stared at each other, her breathing heavy in the cold air. He didn't know what to do. She didn't know if he'd still kill her. His grip tightened on her arms. He felt nothing for this girl. So why was he hesitating?

Then it changed. He sensed his Sire, close to where they were. He couldn't leave the girl alive. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Marguerite's.

'Je suis désolé, Marguerite.'

He could smell her tears.

'C'est fini.' She whispered in return.

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><p>An hour later, Marguerite's Watcher found her in the cemetery. Her neck was snapped.<p>

William the Bloody had claimed his second.

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><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	3. Into The Madness

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

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><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

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><p><strong>Into The Madness<strong>

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><p><strong>Somerset, England, 1817<strong>

After killing Marguerite, he'd left Paris and left Darla and Angelus. He spent time travelling, seeing places across the world that he'd never dreamed of. Eighteen years had nearly passed.

And that kiss still haunted him.

He had not known the girl. He felt nothing for her beyond the respect of the warrior. He was certain she had kissed him in an attempt to postpone the inevitable. She knew she was going to die. He was a demon. He was nearly 140 years old.

So _why_ did he care about a kiss from a slip of a girl.

_Because you have never felt a passion from one kiss like that before._

Shut up.

He was arguing with himself. That was never good.

After being separated from his sire for so long, he was shocked to feel the pull, the instinct that she needed him. It had led him to Somerset, heading for a city called Bath. He'd never been there before, having mostly avoided England since his turning. From what he understood, Bath was a city on the rise, with a large populace and a rich culture. Literally. It was a posh town. Somewhere Darla would love. He wondered if Angelus had been dusted and that was why she had called for him. She'd never used the bond before, so it puzzled him greatly.

As his carriage drew into the city, he marvelled at the buildings. It was certainly a grandeur city. No wonder his Sire had been drawn here.

He alighted from the carriage at the The Circus, a circular space surrounded by elegant townhouses. He could sense nothing from the area and the Sire's call was not specific to the an area. The hour was late and he needed to secure some lodgings before he could find Darla. Setting his sights on a house, he headed for the door, hoping to beguile the owner into an invite.

* * *

><p>Searching for Darla was becoming tiresome. The call was intense now, so no matter how much he wanted to leave, until he found her, he could not. Unless she was dead. His frustration grew with each passing day. Four days after his arrival in Bath, he found himself outside Bath Abbey, contemplating the architecture and beauty of the Abbey. It was undergoing construction works on some parts and he'd heard gossip about the coming of a kings appointed architect to finish the work.<p>

As he stood contemplating the grand structure, a familiar feeling crept up his spine. A shadow slipped across the side of his vision. He growled, making a man stood just behind him jump.

'I do _not_ have time for this.' He snarled out, storming in the opposite direction of the shadow, quickly moving through the streets. The tingle in his neck did not leave and he quickly came to the assumption that he was being hunted. He spied a deserted alley way and made his way down it, finding himself at a dead end. He turned as soft footsteps hit the floor and saw a blonde girl with a crossbow aimed at him. He took her in and raised an eyebrow.

'Been a long while since I've been chased.' He drawled. The girl did not reply. 'Not a talker then? Shame.' She cocked the crossbow, aiming for his heart. He stood brazenly before her, knowing it was not his time.

'She said you'd come.'

'So she does speak.' Spike replied. 'Who's "she"?'

The girl held the crossbow steady, her expression neutral. 'Your Sire, vampire.'

He growled then. He didn't mean to, it was instinctual. The girl smiled. Sadistic bint.

'Where is she?' He ground out.

The girl shrugged. 'Hell if I know. Last I saw her, she was high tailing it after I doused her with holy water.' He noticed that her voice was rough and her accent common. A street urchin perhaps?

'So how do you know about me pet?'

'She said her boy was coming.' He raised an eyebrow.

'Might not have meant me.'

'She said he was the Slayer of Slayers.' She stared him out. 'I recognised you straight away. Blond hair, dressed like a gentleman, face that could charm the devil 'imself.'

'Why thankyou,' he smiled.

''m not complimentin' you.' She snarled.

'Pity,' Spike drawled, raking his eyes over her. She glared at him, the crossbow not moving. 'So you read up on me, huh?' She nodded slowly. His eyes flicked behind her, but she ignored his ploy. 'What do the books say?'

'That you're a ruffian an' a trickster.' She spat out, before crumpling to the floor under the force of a blow from Darla, who had crept up behind her. The usually elegant blonde was dressed in filthy clothes, looking every inch the street beggar. She paused, before running to her Childe. He embraced her willingly, his demon relieved to see his Sire alive. She sobbed into his arms.

'Oh William.' She cried hard and he waited, unused to seeing Darla so vulnerable. When she calmed, he asked the obvious question.

'Where's Angelus, Darla?'

She shrugged. 'We had a fight.'

Spike rolled his eyes. 'What in the hell happened?'

Darla frowned. 'That Slayer, Lizzia Weston. She cornered me. Stalked me for weeks. Threw goddamned holy water at me!'

'Not to be humorous, Darla, but you're two hundred years old.'

'I don't scrap, William.'

'Not even when it's your life on the line?' He knew Darla's fighting skills were not excellent; her skill lay in her cunning and guile.

'That's why I called for you.' She looked every inch the innocent girl as she batted her eyelashes at him. He groaned.

'That's nice.' The Slayer spoke from behind them. She'd recovered quickly. 'Now I can get you both with one bolt.' She fired and Spike roared, putting himself in front of Darla. The bolt embedded in his shoulder, which made him roar louder. In the blink of an eye, he ripped the bolt from his flesh and flung it at the Slayer. It struck her heart and time slowed. She gasped, dropping the crossbow and holding the bolt in her chest, spitting blood as she stared at it in disbelief. Then she slumped to the floor, a pool of blood spreading out from underneath her, her last breath carried away on a breeze.

'Wow.' Darla stared between the corpse and her Childe. Spike snarled, breathing hard as he glared at the dead Slayer. Darla smiled.

'You really are the Slayer of Slayers.'

* * *

><p><strong>Istanbul, 1835<strong>

It was busy here. Throngs of people, crowds and tourists from Europe, visiting this new cosmopolitan city, indulging in the public baths and admiring the beautiful architecture of the ancient city. There was work ongoing, construction to restore the glory of some of the buildings. Spike crouched, perched atop a residential building, watching the city lights twinkle off of the waters of the Golden Horn, its ships swaying gently in the night air. He always marvelled at the changing world around him, the cities springing up from where there had been nothing.

He was late. The house was just past ten, and he had been due to meet his Sire and her paramour at sunset. But he couldn't care less.

When he had found Darla in Bath, and killed the Slayer Elizabeth Weston, he had hoped Angelus was gone for good. For ten months, he had returned to travelling with Darla and it was as it had been. She made no mention of the Irish brute and Spike was glad for it. But the summer solstice in 1818 had found them in a hotel in Switzerland, a small town named Aarmühle, with a view of the mountains. Darla had enjoyed the rich trade of the town and the even richer blood of the townsfolk. There were some aristocrat tourists that had made for a particularly entertaining evening. Until they had returned to their rooms and Spike had retired for the day.

Upon waking in the evening, he had heard Darla speaking to someone and a familiar scent had him dismayed. Her whispered words, welcoming "her darling boy" home, had cemented Angelus' return to the family. Spike had returned to the outskirts of the trio, preferring to hunt along. He may have incited one or two baying mobs and sent them in Angelus' direction.

The younger vampire had crowed about his position in their circle, but never crossed Spike without Darla to hide behin. The older vampire had made it clear that it would be losing fight.

So they were in Istanbul now, hunting the local crowds. Darla had insisted they come here, as her Master was hosting a gathering and when Darla's master called, she obeyed. She was eager to introduce Angelus to the family, although Spike imagined Heinrich Nest would show as much care for the Irishman as he had for William all that time ago.

Spike couldn't deny he was interested to see old batface again - he was a master in his own right now, three slayers under his belt. His reputation often preceded him wherever he went, something that usually provided him at least one free beer in demon bars.

So Darla had requested he meet them at sunset at their hotel room, so they could go to the catacombs and pay homage to her master. He supposed he'd best go find them.

* * *

><p>The Master was sat in a huge ornately carved chair, surrounded by minions proudly displayed their game faces whilst in the presence of Nest. Darla stood between Angelus and Spike, her eyes worshipful as she drank her Sire in. Spike fought the urge to eyeroll as Angelus looked thoroughly bored with the situation.<p>

'Darla.' The Master motioned to the blonde vampiress, and she glided forward, beaming at him. 'I see you have a new boy.' His gaze shifted to Spike. 'Perhaps two. This cannot be the same William you brought to me before?' Darla nodded and the Master grinned. 'No, no. This must be Spike, the Slayer of Slayers. How many is it now, boy?'

'Three.' Spike sneered, his interest waning by the second. Nest nodded.

'Impressive.' He focused on the blond for a moment. 'I see a cursed blade has touched you.' He pointed a clawed finger at Spike's scarred eyebrow. Spike automatically touched it, feeling where the blade had sliced through his skin over a century before. 'You wear it well.' Batface turned his attention to Angelus, effectively dismissing Spike. 'Angelus, the Latinate for Angel.' Nest barked a laugh out. 'It's marvellous.' Darla smiled from her place at Nest's side.

'His name will be legend.' She said proudly, her glittering eyes landing on her boy.

The Master caressed her hand. 'Did you have a nice trip?'

'We've cut a bloody swath through Europe. Both of them were magnificent.' Her eyes were on Angelus and Spike held back from snorting. Angelus smiled at Darla and then looked to Nest.

'So Darla tell me you're some sort of master.' Darla hissed at his impudence.

'_The_ Master. He commands our Order.' The Master glared.

'The order of Aurelius. We are the select - the elite.'

Angelus folded his arms and looked around. Spike instantly know this would not end well. 'And you live in the sewers do you?'

The Master gave Darla's hand a pat and stood, regarding Angelus coolly.

'We live below, giving tribute to the old ones. Awaiting that promised day when we will arise,' his acolytes repeated his words, 'and lay _waste_ to the world above us.' He laughed and Angelus raised an eyebrow, wondering who would dust him first.

'Why'd you want to do that?'

The Master paused. 'Huh?'

'Well, I mean, have you _been_ above lately? It's quite nice.' The Master was glaring now. 'Me? I could never live in a rat infested stink hole, like this if you'll pardon me for saying so. I got to have meself a proper bed or I'm a terror.' Spike sniggered. Darla's face was like thunder and old batface did not look pleased. Angelus smiled at his Sire. 'Isn't that right love?'

She would have been crimson if she'd been alive. 'He's young.' She blustered. Spike rolled his eyes. Angelus continued, undeterred.

'And this one,' he motioned to his sire, 'down in the goose feathers and the finest silks, linens and the view', he leant into Darla, who swatted him away, looking at her sire apologetically, 'she's always got to have the view, don't you my lamb?'

'We fed very recently. The blood is still hot in his veins.' Darla sputtered as Angelus leered.

'Noticed that, did you?'

'We stalk the surface to feed and grow our ranks. We do not live amongst the human pestilence!' The Master snapped. Angelus chuckled.

'Well, I'll be honest. You really couldn't with that face now, could you?' Darla slapped him. Spike sniggered again as Angelus laughed. He dropped himself into the Master's chair, swinging one leg over the arm. 'It's not stuck like that now is it?' Nest growled. Darla scowled.

'The Master has grown past the curse of human features.'

Angelus looked at her, feigning horror. 'I'm not gonna get a bat nose like that huh? Am I?' Spike couldn't hold back and he laughed loudly, earning himself twin death glares from Nest and Darla.

'Very few vampires are cunning enough to have lived as long as I have,' he grabbed Angelus from the chair and flung him into Spike, and both vampires sprawled to the floor in a heap. 'Which you have just proved.' Angelus got to his feet, helping Spike up, winking at the blond. Spike grinned in response, enjoying the impudent young vampire's actions for a change.

'Naples. You, me and William, Darla. What do you say?' The Master strode forward, punching Angelus with a hard right, sending him into a wall.

'Angelus,' Darla pleaded. The vamp in question pushed off the wall, acting as if nothing had happened.

'This is no place for you, bound to the likes of him.'

The Master snarled. 'You should show the proper respect.' He cuffed Angelus over the head, sending him to the floor, gasping. On all fours, he looked up at Darla. Spike tensed, ready to fight.

'You belong with us, out in the world, feeding as we like, taking what we need. I'll give you what you crave, Darla. I'll give you everything.' Spike felt a pang at his words. Darla had been right. Angelus loved her. He knew then, he would not stay with them forever. Nest kicked Angelus onto his back, and he laughed again, looking up to Darla. 'Tell the truth, whose face do you want to look at for eternity. His - or mine?'

Nest smiled. 'You idiot. I _made_ her.'

Darla smiled at Angelus and he smiled back. The Master's smile faded as he stared at his childe.

'You're leaving with your boys aren't you?'

She didn't answer, moving to help Angelus up. He slung an arm over her shoulder and Spike took that as the cue to leave. He took his place in front of the pair, only to have his path blocked by a growling minion. Spike growled back.

'No.' Came Nest's voice. 'Let them go.' The minion moved and the trio began to leave. The Master returned to his chair. 'Neither of them will last. I give it a century, tops.'

* * *

><p><strong>London, 1860<strong>

Dull British weather. It was raining and had been for days. Whilst it afford Spike the ability to move more freely during the days, he was bored. They had been here for weeks. Angelus had taken up with torturing some young girl with the sight, which Darla had encouraged. Spike had only joined them to see to some financial affairs in the city but he was done now and ready to move on. Maybe Italy. He liked the wine there...and the ladies weren't bad either.

The door crashed open and a girl fell through. She was dressed in a bloodied nightgown, her long back hair dishevelled. Spike looked at her and sensed that she was a vampire. A quick sniff confirmed - she was Aurelian too.

'Can I help you, pet?' He asked, noted that she looked a little short of the full picnic. She looked at him, taking a few hesitant steps forward, not replying. He sensed the return of Angelus and Darla downstairs, their voices floating up the stairs to him. He shrugged - let them deal with it. The girl stopped, standing in the middle of the room, staring into space.

'Spike?' Darla called. 'Where are you?' Her footsteps drew closer and she came into the room, smiling at him and the girl. 'Ah. I see you have met Drusilla.' Spike eyed the girl carefully.

'She's a few sandwiches short, ain't she?'

Darla laughed and Drusilla giggled too. 'Yeah. Angelus says she's his masterpiece.'

'This is the girl with the sight then? He turned her?'

Darla nodded. 'Not before he slaughtered everyone she loved and drove her insane. She took her holy orders yesterday.' Drusilla clapped and twirled around.

'Dead, dead, all dead. But new. And such a brave night.' The crazy vampiress landed her gaze on Spike. 'You're like a lemon cake. All sparks and fire, but no yellow belly here.' Spike frowned. She laughed again. 'Do you like cake, pretty Spike?'

'Do you like her?' Angelus drawled from the doorway.

'She's nuts.' Spike deadpanned. Angelus laughed.

'Yeah, she would be.' Drusilla turned at his voice.

'You...' She whispered dreamily. 'You killed them all. Snapped necks like daffodils.' She clapped again. 'Snip snip little birdies. A new daddy for you now.' She started dancing.

'We thought you might like a playmate.' Angelus mused, watching Drusilla dance. Spike snarled.

'A crazy fledge? No thanks, mate. If you can't be bothered to look after her, you shouldn't have made her.' Angelus snarled and Spike raised an eyebrow. Darla simply watched as Drusilla twirled around. 'Do we need to have another _conversation, _Liam.' The younger vamp glowered at the blond and Darla chuckled.

'You don't like me brave knight.' Drusilla weaved closer to Spike, who eyed her warily. She still smelt like the earth.

'Sorry, princess. You're not really my type.'

She giggled. 'No. You like them full of fire and sunshine, it's Slayers what leave a touch on your lips.' Spike's eyes widened, and he looked to Darla who narrowed her eyes.

'Her gift is strong.' Angelus smiled. 'She knows our boy is the Slayer of Slayers.' Spike growled.

'He's not your boy.' Drusilla scolded. Angelus looked taken aback. 'Not mine either.' She stated sadly. 'The moon says his queen waits a long way away for him.' She moved to the window, looking out at the rain. 'No water in the sky where she is.'

Darla looked at the crazy vampiress, then glanced to Spike, who shrugged.

'Well then.' Angelus sighed. 'Where shall we take our family first, Darla?' She looked at him, then glanced to the maps on the table that Spike had been looking at.

'How about Italy?'

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	4. Flames In The Dark

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case. **This chapter contains Spike/Other. Nothing graphic, but it is integral to the character development I've got for Spike. So bear with me. I promise, there is no gross stuff.**

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Flames In The Dark<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>London, September 18<strong>**76**

He didn't know why he was back here. He'd come alone, leaving Darla, Angelus and Drusilla in Belgium with the promise he would return to them. They were easy to find wherever they were - usually marked out by a _lot_ of bodies.

London had drawn him in again but he didn't know why. The city was dirty, smog filled and usually wet. He'd taken up residence in his family's house again and spent his days haunting the rooms, lost in his thoughts.

He was lonely.

Drusilla had attempted to insert herself as his paramour, and whilst she was beautiful and deadly, he was not enticed. He was protective of her, treating her as a precious family member, but his love went no further for her than it would have done for a sister, or for Darla, for that matter. Maybe in another life, he could have loved her, but really, she was too damaged to really love.

And he craved real love.

Darla had been right all those years ago.

So he'd taken himself away from the Scourge of Europe and returned home to London, now like a foreign place to him. He frequented bars and taverns, played poker and fed on the odd street thug. He'd been following this pattern for nearly a month when he saw her.

He'd been wandering through Lambeth, lost in his thoughts, when a commotion behind a run down theatre had caught his attention. A young red headed girl was taking on a brute of a vampire and winning quite significantly. She dusted him without a problem, and bent down to retrieve her stake. She was dressed in breeches and a white men's shirt, with a tatty tweed jacket over the top. As she picked up her stake, she also picked up a flat cap from where it had fallen on the floor. She pulled it over her hair, tucking all of the red strands up underneath.

Spike was mesmerised. Her hair was like living flame. She tensed and turned, sensing him watching.

'You want some too?' Her voice was a lilting Irish accent and he groaned. She tilted her head to the side. 'You look familiar. Have I fought you before?' He smiled.

'No pet. I think I'd remember you.' He eyed her carefully, watching the fist clasped round her stake. She frowned at him.

'Who are you?' She queried. He shrugged, having nothing to hide.

'Name's Spike.' He bowed slightly, not removing his eyes from her.

'Slayer of Slayers.' She gritted her teeth, holding the stake tighter.

'Reputation precedes me again.' He grinned. The Slayer watched him carefully.

'Why are you in London?'

'Home, innit? You're the foreigner, luv, not me.' He leered at her and she scowled.

'The Council required my presence.'

'Ah. The Watchers. Bunch of prissy gits.' She smiled then and he smiled back, marvelling at the beauty of her. His inner William was composing poems about her already, and he scolded himself for his boyish reaction to her. He was probably two centuries older than her.

'That they are.' She agreed, then she sobered. 'So. Are we going to fight or what?'

Spike slipped his hands into his pockets and hunched his shoulders, sucking air in through his teeth. 'Nah. Not in the mood.'

'Oh.' She deflated. 'That's odd.'

'How so, pet?'

'You're a vampire.'

'And? Doesn't mean I'm not a person.'

'Yes it does.' She corrected and he sighed. 'When a vampire is created, the person dies.'

'Not always.' He said, staring at her, noticing how blue her eyes were. He wished she'd smile again.

'My watcher said-'

'Your watcher said what? His books said that vampires don't feel? That we aren't actual people? Bollocks.' He snorted. 'I _am_ a vampire. I think I'd know more than someone who isn't one.' She was silent. Then she made to leave. 'Oi! Where are you going?'

She stopped, shrugging. 'You don't want to fight. So I'm gonna find someone who does.'

'Oh.' He didn't quite know what to say. 'Mind if I tag along?'

She paused, furrowing her brow in confusion at his request. Then she nodded slowly. 'Sure, I guess.' She continued out of the alleyway and he frowned, wondering what the hell he was going. Then she called back to him. 'Are you coming or not?'

* * *

><p>They'd been wandering London in silence for thirty minutes when he got bored of the silence. 'So what's your name?'<p>

She jumped as if just remembering he was there. 'Oh.' She paused. 'Why?'

'Well, you know my name and can't very well just call you Slayer.'

'Oh. I suppose so.' She looked sidelong at him. 'My name's Catherine. Catherine Callan.' He smiled and nodded and they fell back in silence. He chewed on his lip, musing. She coughed softly. 'This is weird.'

He chuckled. 'Yeah, I reckon so.'

'You're a strange demon.'

Spike smiled at her. 'Yeah. I often get told that.'

Before the conversation could continue, three vampires announced their presence. Catherine launched herself into the fight and Spike contented himself to watch for a moment, admiring her style and grace. Then a punch to the face knocked his thoughts from his head and he snarled at the cockney vampire in front of him. The vamp wilted, realising that the well dressed gentleman was in fact a demon and one significantly older and more powerful than himself.

Within seconds, Spike had dusted the vampire, and he once again resumed watching Catherine as she easily defeated her two opponents. She dusted her hands off, breathing heavily as her blue eyes met his.

'You're a hell of a fighter pet.'

She smiled. 'Thanks. How come you don't er...' She scrunched up her nose and he laughed as he understood what she was referring to. He rarely wore his demon mask.

'Don't always need the edge. If I were fighting you though, I think I would.'

She blushed, then controlled herself. 'When are we going to fight?' She queried. 'I mean, this has to be the strangest hour of my life. I thought the Slayer of Slayers would have ripped my throat out by now.'

He eyed her carefully. 'You look like you haven't had a decent meal in a while. Shall we get some dinner?'

She frowned. 'Not until you answer my question. Why am I not dead?'

He huffed. 'You intrigue me is all.'

She wrinkled her nose again. 'Huh?'

He grinned. 'So. Dinner?'

* * *

><p>They'd gone to a lower market bistro in the end, one usually frequented by sailors. It was late, so deserted, but the owner had been grateful for the business, no matter that the respectable looking gentleman was dining with a girl dressed as a boy. Catherine had eaten with enthusiasm, and Spike wondered if the Watchers bothered with their Slayers' well being. He voiced the question and Catherine looked at him coolly.<p>

'Thomas only requires me to report once in the morning and occasionally research and study. I don't dine with him or associate with him. It's not proper.'

Spike snorted. 'Figures.'

'What do you mean?'

'Treating you like a tool. You're not just a Slayer. You're a person too.'

'Like you.' She smirked and he nodded.

'Yeah, like me.' He paused to sip at his tea. 'So why aren't you back in Ireland?'

'My father. He found out about my calling after the Cruciamentum.'

'The what?'

'The Council removed my powers and set me against a vampire as a test on my eighteenth birthday. All Slayers do it. If they live that long. I passed but my-my Watcher died. He was...different to Thomas.' She sighed. 'London is a horrible place.'

'That it is.' Spike agreed. 'How long ago were you called?'

She thought for a second. 'I was fifteen. So it's been three years now.'

'Long life for a slayer.'

She shrugged. 'I'm good.' He smiled.

'I bet.'

'You'll find out when we fight.'

'We'll see.' He sipped at his tea again.

She smiled at him and finished her food.

* * *

><p>They left the bistro shortly after midnight, and Spike walked her back to her residence. She had a room in the servants quarters of her watcher's house, which Spike had refrained from commenting on. His thoughts concerning her watcher were likely to turn the air blue. Catherine bid him a goodnight and slipped into the blackness of the house, looking at him strangely before she shut the door. He returned to his house, feeling no desire for the hunt.<p>

He spent most of his day awake, contemplating the red headed Slayer and why he felt no urge to kill her.

* * *

><p><strong>London, November, 1876<strong>

Catherine kicked the vampire backwards, slashing out with the dagger in her hand. She missed the vampire's throat and he jabbed at her with a left hook, sending her flying. She yelped as she landed on her bottom, and growled at her adversary, clambering to her feet as she launched the stake. It hit the vampire in the correct place and he burst into dust, as she rubbed her sore bottom with her hand.

'Need help there?' Spike leered from the top of a shed in the darkness. Catherine spun and scowled at him as he landed gracefully in front of her.

'You could have helped before I landed on my backside.'

'But it's such a delectable backside, Cath.' He teased, poking his tongue out at her. She responded in kind and then looked around.

'I think I'm done here.' They dropped into a comfortable pattern walking side by side through the park, as they had become accustomed to doing the last month or so. He'd stayed away for all of two nights, before deciding he had to know her better. Unconsciously, he'd stopped killing, only realising this with horror a few nights before. He still hadn't killed, sticking to the old catch and release method.

And he still hadn't figured out why.

She'd mocked him at first, calling him odd for wanting to be friends with a Slayer. But he'd hidden nothing, even when she'd tried to goad him into a fight. He simply had no interest in fighting her. Fighting beside her, however, had proven to be a most pleasurable pastime. At the start of October, having barely known her two weeks, he'd taken great enjoyment in helping her put down a sect of T'niska demons who were planning to open a portal to suck London into hell. Not the first time it had been attempted, and not the last, but it had been fun.

The air was turning very chilling in London now, with winter almost in full force. It smelt like snow in the air, and Spike realised that he'd not seen snow in a long time. He'd missed London, in a way, and now it held another attraction for him.

He kept an ear to the ground, worried his "family" might come looking for him. But they had thus far shown no sign of heading this way and the last he had heard, Angelus had taken the girls to his home country and was embroiled in some scandal or another over there. He know if they were coming. And he'd make sure Cath was nowhere in the locale.

Spike couldn't deny he was fond of the Slayer. As sick and twisted as it was. She was full of life, her enthusiasm for the hunt more like his own than he'd ever seen. She revelled in the fight, and was no afraid to bait death. But she was also fragile, feminine and extremely intelligent.

It had been a few weeks after they had met that she had followed him home. She had witnessed his method of feeding, but not mentioned it to him. He'd caught a beggar, drank enough to fill and sent the man on his way with money for a hot meal. He'd felt her watching, but neither had spoken of it. He was ashamed of his behaviour in the eyes of other vampires, but was filled with a vague need to have her be proud of him.

It was a damn sight ridiculous.

So she had followed him home and snuck into his house through an upstairs window. He'd known she was there straight away, and had cornered her, slightly angry at first with her presumption that she would be welcome. But then she had seen his books. All the volume of poetry and stories, and works of fiction she had never come across. She was enthralled, and completely ignored the fact that he was pissed at her.

In fact, he was fairly certain that was the moment he realised his true feelings for the wild Slayer.

Definitely sick and twisted.

So here they were, walking in sync through the park, discussing the latest published anthology of poetry that he had acquired. She was desperate to read it, and was begging for an invite to come over to his house and get her grubby mitts on the book. He was teasing her mercilessly, saying she wouldn't want to read it.

They were so caught up in their argument, they did not see the figure following them through the darkness, an black cloud of anger drifting over his bearded face.

* * *

><p><strong>London, January, 1877<strong>

Snow was deep on the ground, blanketing the misery of Victorian London in a sheet of white. Spike enjoyed the snow, his vampire constitution not bothered by the cold weather.

Catherine, however, had stolen his coat as her teeth were chattering.

In the four months since he had seen her in the alleyway, they had grown close. Probably too close for a vampire and a slayer. She had never again asked why they had not fought and she did not question where he fed. He would not have admitted it, and she knew the truth, but he had not killed since he met her. Except for demons. He liked to watch her fight, loving it best when her cap fell off and her wild red hair flew loose in battle.

But he didn't tell her that either.

She confided in him, and with her, he felt more alive than he had done when he'd actually _been_ alive. She loved his stories of far away places, and the fairy tales that he remembered from his childhood. They saw more of each other than a normal person would deem appropriate and Cath would often raise concern that her watcher would discover their unorthodox relationship. Thomas had noted on several occasions that she was spending more time out of the house, and had raised his concerns with her when she had failed to return home from several hunts. She didn't think he had any clue of where she was spending her time though.

And Spike spent far too much time wishing it were more than a friendship.

He was sick. Darla would surely stake him if she knew of this. He knew this could not, and probably would not, end well.

But he could not stay away. Like a moth to a flame he was drawn in by her fire, her life. He would make sure she lived a long and happy life.

One particularly bleak January evening, shortly after the new year, she'd come to his house again. She'd found him as she often did, reading by firelight in the drawing room. She had taken away his book, and enticed him outside into the cold snow. They had set off on one of their usual routes, and she had darted off, he presumed because she had seen something.

He'd been quite shocked when a snowball had hit him square between the eyes.

So he had given chase, the pair of them weaving through trees and bushes, into a copse of trees at the far end of the park. There, he had launched himself at her and they'd rolled through the cold snow into a drift, laughing all the while.

And she had kissed him.

The shock of it had parted them almost instantly, and they had simply stared at each other, until he had noticed that her teeth were chattering.

Which is why she was now wearing his coat.

Upon leaving the park, they walked in silence, and Spike noted that they were close to the river, close to the spot he had died in fact. He was lost in thought when she spoke and he almost missed her quiet confession.

'I know this is wrong. God it's so wrong. But I think...I think I love you.'

He stopped walking, staring at her. She stopped too, turning to face him, her bright blue eyes colliding with his own. When he didn't say anything, she spoke again. 'I know I'm the Slayer. I should be killing you. But you're...you're not like the others. The books depict you as a vicious, soulless killer...but these past few months - you're a good man when you want to be. I know you haven't been killing.' He didn't confirm it, they both knew it was true. 'You have thrown my world on it's head, William.' She smiled slowly. 'But in a good way.' He still remained quiet, frozen to the spot. 'Say something? Even if just to admit this was all a ruse to kill me, though we both know you haven't the patience.'

He still said nothing.

Then, quicker than the eye could move, he was on her, finishing the kiss that had started in the snow. They embraced passionately and she giggled as he picked her up and span her round. 'You have no idea, Cath, no idea how happy you have just made me.' He kissed her hard, putting her back on the floor, running his fingers through her red locks, her cap knocked to the floor. 'God, I love you.'

The sound of a crossbow being loaded made him stop and the pair turned, seeing three men with weapons, the foremost figure training the crossbow on them. Spike growled as Catherine gasped. The bearded man at the front of the trio scowled at her, his dark eyes hooded underneath the hat he wore. He was clearly a Watcher, down to the tweed dinner jacket that he wore.

'Thomas.' Catherine breathed, stock still in the face of her watcher.

'So here you are, Miss Callan. I had wondered how you were spending your time. Now I see you were playing the whore.' The man watcher was flushed and angry, whilst his companions were calm, their icy stares on the pair in front of them. Catherine covered her kiss swollen mouth with one hand, as the other gripped Spike's wrist.

'Why don't you piss off?' Spike spat, ready to fight.

'The Watcher's Council has deem you unfit for your duty. They have ordered your retraining and his destruction.' Thomas said, his voice tight and authoritative. The vampire growled.

'Just you try it.' The Watcher raised the bow, and Cath eyed the weapon with concern.

'I've done nothing wrong, Thomas. I still do my duty.'

'Do not call me Thomas. You no longer have the right. It is Mr Wyndham. And if you are doing your duty, why does he still live?'

'He doesn't kill!' She declared, and Thomas snorted.

'He's killed three Slayers, Miss Callan!'

She shook her head in disagreement. 'It's the past. He can be a good man!'

'He's not a man.' Thomas Wyndham screeched, spittle flying from his mouth as he loosed the crossbow in anger. Spike roared, intent on blocking the bolt as he had done many times before, but Catherine was too quick as she span in front of him. The bolt hit its mark, crunching through her breast bone in the middle of her chest. She shuddered with the impact and slumped into Spike's arms as he stared at her in shock and horror.

Thomas and the other two men fled, but Spike cared for nothing but the girl in his arms. His thoughts flashed to Bath and the Slayer he had killed there. Was this his penance? Had Cath taken the bolt meant for him for a reason?

'Cath? Catherine? Oh god. No, luv, please hang on.' Her heart was slowing as the tears pooled in his eyes. He sank to the floor holding her, feeling her blood slip through his fingers as he tried to slow the bleeding. 'You silly, stupid Slayer. Why did you do that?'

She smiled weakly, her blue eyes shining as she struggled to stay conscious. 'Because I love you, stupid vampire.' He cried, smiling through his tears. A spark of an idea formed in his mind.

'I can save you.' He whispered. 'You're strong. You'll still be a person.' He vamped out and the corner of her mouth hitched. He didn't know if she could hear him, as she raised a hand to his face, tracing the ridges of his demon mask.

'I would have loved him too. All of you.' She whispered, her own blood choking her as she went limp in his arms. He shook his head as she lost consciousness, her hand falling back to her side.

He blinked and then swiftly sank his fangs into her neck, drinking through his tears until her heart stopped.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>Oh this was hard to write. Mainly because I don't usually deviate from Spuffy. But I felt that this had to be done. I didn't want Spike as a straight out, Slayer killing machine. But the challenge specified four slayers. So I had to get creative. And what better way to show the love Spike is capable of, than for the fourth slayer he killed to be one he had fallen for? And accident, to be sure, but he already had conflicted feelings.<p>

I guess you can just sit back and wait for the fall out now!


	5. The Last And The Souled

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case. **This chapter contains Spike/Other. Nothing graphic, but it is integral to the character development I've got for Spike. So bear with me. I promise, there is no gross stuff. **What occurs at the start of this chapter occurs for a reason. I shall explain at the end.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>The Last And The Souled<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>London, January 1877<strong>

It had been sixteen hours.

Sixteen agonizing hours of avoiding the truth of what he had done.

He had turned a Slayer. Worse than that, he had _loved_ a Slayer. And he had no idea what sort of creature he had created. He had never taken a childe before and had never intended to. But letting Cath die in the snow wasn't an option he was willing to take.

He sighed and sat next to her on the bed, brushing a stray lock of the red hair he adored so much away from her face. She would wake soon. He did not know who she would be. That terrified him.

A small part of him, the demon part of him, rejoiced that he would have someone to share in the thrill and blood of the hunt. The human part of him was ashamed that he had condemned her to this.

He sat in silence. Waiting.

As the sun went down, she stirred. Her face rippled and she was awake, golden, glittering eyes staring at him. He smiled and reached for her, but she backed away. Her face fell.

'What did you do?' She rasped, raising her hands to her face, feeling the demon under her skin. 'William?'

'I-I couldn't let you die.' He defended himself.

'So you killed me?' She spat, climbing from the bed. She looked down at her bloodstained top. 'You turned me. She snarled and he responded with an instinctual growl.

'I didn't know what else to do.'

'Well, isn't that convenient.' She looked around, anger clear on her face. 'I'm a slayer.'

'Not anymore.' He said quietly.

'I'm hungry,' she growled. 'You know what that means. I want to kill. I want to feel warm blood rush down my throat. I can feel this thing in my head.' She pushed a hand against her forehead, closing her eyes. 'I feel sick.' He moved towards her, intent on helping, but she backed away again. 'Don't touch me!' She screeched. He flinched, unsure of himself. Cath started to cry.

'Ssh, luv, it'll be alright.' He tried console her but she laughed through the tears.

'No. No it won't. You've damned me. You have _damned _me.' She cried. 'Why did you do this? If I'd never met you, Thomas wouldn't have shot me. You should never have come here!' She whimpered then, pulling at her hair. 'You've damned me.'

She sprang across the room, scratching and snarling at him as she knocked him to the floor. They rolled across the hard wood as he tried to push her off, tried to restrain her clawing hands, but his anguish and her anger made her an even match for him. She bit and snapped at him, trying to cause damage where she could, and he flung her away. She grabbed a chair and snapped a piece of wood from it; a makeshift stake. Without words, she rushed him again and they grappled anew as he tried to get the stake away from her, all the while begging her to stop.

'I said I'd fight you.' She growled, punching him hard and bringing the stake in for the kill. He caught her hand just in time and pulled her close, intent on holding her still. The stake slipped.

He'd stood in this position before, with the French slayer, Marguerite. Only this time, the stake did not miss.

Catherine's face changed and she smiled again, her blue eyes how he remembered them. Then she crumbled to dust.

He was alone.

Again.

* * *

><p><strong>London, January 1877, three days after Catherine's final death<strong>

'My dear boy,' Darla's voice startled him. 'What a wonderful mess you have made.'

Spike stood in the middle of a richly decorated drawing room, a bloodied crossbow bolt in his hand, dripping steadily onto the floor. The body of Thomas Wyndham lay before him, still warm, mostly intact. The Watcher had only stopped screaming a few moments before. He was dead now, presumably that was how Darla had gotten inside the house.

'What are you doing here?' He murmured, dropping the bolt into a puddle of half-congealed blood on the carpet. It was the same bolt that had almost killed Catherine. Before he had actually killed her.

He'd spent days seething with anger and rage, first at himself and finally at the Watcher who had first attempted to end her life. And one silly maid in the Wyndham household had fallen for his charms, and invited him in. That same maid now sat in a puddle of her own blood, her throat torn from one side to the other. Thomas Wyndham had been the last left alive, having watched his wife murdered in front of him. Her body lay in front of the fireplace, her corpse warmed by the flames.

'You never returned. I was looking for you. I felt your rage, William. What had upset you so?' He turned to her, blue eyes full of pain and anguish. She frowned, never having seen him this way. 'Why did you kill this Watcher?'

'They killed her.' He said simply, shrugging as he toed the crossbow in the blood.

'Killed who?' Darla asked and then her eyes widened. 'The Slayer?' He didn't answer, shame clouding his thoughts. 'The Slayer killed someone?' He couldn't tell her the truth. So he just nodded. 'Drusilla said you had found a girl.' Darla mused. '"The knight had found his dancing fire"'. She quoted the mad vampiress, and then moved closer to her childe. 'And the Slayer killed her. Oh my poor boy.' He blinked away tears as she embraced him, feeling emptier than he ever had before. 'Did you kill the Slayer, Spike?'

'She's dead,' he replied, omitting the truth. He looked down at the bolt, resting in the puddle of blood, the implement he had used to slaughter most of the Wyndham household. His boots were ruined and his clothes more blood and gore than fabric. Scotland Yard were going to have a field day with this house when it was discovered.

So why didn't he feel like himself again?'

He growled as Darla touched his arm. 'All this blood and it doesn't look like you touched a drop. Angelus and Dru are in the city. Why don't we join them and hunt? You've done all the damage you can here.' He didn't move, his eyes focused on the rapidly cooling corpse of Thomas Wyndham. 'William?' She shook him, her patience wearing thin. 'Spike?'

He looked up at her, golden eyes now void of anything except anger and hatred. She smiled, and led him from the house and into the night.

* * *

><p>The Wyndham household was not the only mess he left that night. He'd let his demon loose and run wild with his family, literally painting parts of the town red. Even Angelus had foregone his usual artistry and enjoyed the mayhem. Spike had spent four months without a kill - the blood on his hands from one night more than compensated.<p>

They had left London the next night. Spike would not return willingly. He wanted to go to China, and so the others indulged him. Darla had attempted to get more information on what had happened but he refused. He locked away all memories of Catherine, allowed his demon full reign and ignored the pain. His Sire knew something was wrong but she didn't press the matter. Even when he'd gone on a rampage and caused a mob in Denmark, she had merely pursed her lips and allowed it. When he'd taken up with Drusilla, she's not said anything. Angelus had been pleased with the more vicious side of his elder, who seemed less inclined to beat his skull in whilst ripping out the throats of the public.

They even bonded over a wedding massacre where Angelus beat the groom to death with his own arm. The older vampire had been impressed with the creativity of it.

And so the years passed in a blur of blood and faceless victims. Spike stopped caring, stopped loving. He stopped being a person, and became a vampire.

And he didn't hunt Slayers anymore.

* * *

><p><strong>Romania, 1898<strong>

Spike ran through the village, his bare feet slipping on the cold ground. He skidded around a corner, snarling as he cut the side of his foot on a rock. But he had no time to stop. He approached the shack and threw himself through the door, finding exactly what he had been expecting.

Angelus sat in a wicker chair, cleaning his hands with a hankerchief. He smiled as the blond rammed through the door. 'Spike! You're a bit late to join in.' He turned, motioning to the dead, naked girl on the bed. 'You shoulda got here sooner.'

Spike eyed the dead girl, cringing a little at the state of her. That had never been his game. 'We need to leave, Angelus.'

'Why? You haven't gone and caused another mob, have ye?'

Spike shook his head. 'No. Look, mate, the sun's up soon. We need to lay low and get out of here. Village knows what you've done.'

'And?' Angelus stood, shrugging his shoulders. Spike clenched his jaw in annoyance.

'And?! These are gypsies, Angelus. God knows what they'll do. _That_ was their favoured daughter. They aren't exactly going to be doing the dance of joy.'

'Oh, stop ye fretting.' The bigger vampire wave his hand nonchalantly. 'I'll come with you. We'll go get the girls and leave tomorrow.'

'Just move your arse, Angelus.' Spike growled out, practically pushing the younger vampire out of the door.

Dark eyes watched them leave.

* * *

><p>There was nothing. He didn't know where he was. Who he was. Looking around, he saw woodlands surrounding him, green leaves wet from rainfall. He was dressed in a heavy overcoat, which felt like it was suffocating him. He gulped for air but it didn't alleviate the pain in his chest.<p>

A groan to his left showed he was not alone. A brown haired man, dressed in similar attire to him, was also gasping for air. The other man clambered to all fours and saw him, frowning. Before any questions could be asked, the crackling of footsteps on leaves indicated that someone else was approaching. A man stopped before them, his face and skin dark, and his voice as he spoke, heavy with anger, tinted with a Romanian accent.

'It hurts yes?' He clutched at his chest, barely recognising the smirk on the man's face. 'Good. It will hurt more.'

'Where are we?' He choked out, his eyes darting to the other man on the floor.

'You don't remember...everything you have done. In a moment you will. The faces of everyone you have killed...our daughters face. They will haunt both of you, and you will know what true suffering is.'

The brown haired man stuttered, confused. 'Killed? I-I don't...' He trailed off sobbing.

Spike felt it then, the power of what they had done. The faces, names, the people he'd killed, all of it rushed at him and he collapsed under the weight of his guilt. Two centuries of bloodshed and mayhem.

All he could do was cry.

The man had disappeared and Angelus was sobbing into the mulch. Spike gulped down unneeded air, his only thoughts that he would meet the next sunrise.

Angelus started to get to his feet, but collapsed again, his hand reaching for Spike. 'We...we need to go back. Find Darla, Dru-' Spike barked out a broken laugh.

'You think they'll care? Think they'll want us?' Angelus sobbed, dropping his hand from Spike's collar.

'Maybe...they-'

'We're tainted, Angelus. We feel the blood on our skin, the lives on our hands.' Spike pushed the other vampire away, feeling like he could peel his own skin off.

'But Darla...' The younger vampire pleaded.

'Loves us? Pfft.' Spike scoffed, tears running down his face. 'She's never loved me. She can't feel love, you berk! We need to leave - meet the sunrise, that's best,' Spike trailed off, his eyes darting around the woods.

Angelus shook his head. 'We can't! She's our Sire, she'll know what to do.' Spike looked at the other vampire incredulously.

'Bollocks. You can run back and hide under her skirts if you want. I can't...I can't...' He breathed deep, turning away. 'I can't stand by and watch them...kill.'

'Spike, please -' Angelus grabbed his sleeve, desperate not to be alone in this. Spike pushed him backwards again, snarling at him.

'Don't touch me! You're filth. I'm filth. God, Cath. You were so wrong. Stained, dirty souls. It's sunrise. Back to the dirt. Dirty. Filthy.' Spike pulled at his hair, and stepped away, ignoring Angelus' calls. He looked up at the sky and wondered which way was sunrise. He stopped before he left the clearing, turning back to the younger vampire, crystal blue eyes clashing with brown.

'Goodbye, Angel.'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>This is a somewhat short chapter. It made better sense to end it here however. Now, onto the part where I explain what I did.<p>

I had Spike kill Catherine the Vampire because to me, him having to kill his mum in canon was part of what made him who he was. I didn't want him on that path to redemption. I wanted him to have the ability to, but not get quite there. And what better than to kill off the first woman he'd loved. He had to hit rock bottom, or the soul wouldn't have affected him so much.

So I hope you guys understand. And I hope you enjoy what I have in store for you next time.


	6. A Gentle Nudge

**Story Notes: Disclaimer: **The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17.<strong> Just in case.

**Thank you** to all of the wonderful people who have reviewed both on & Elysian Fields. Your continued encouragement makes me smile and I'm glad you are all enjoying this fic. I hope to continue updating frequently, but I will warn you that it may slow down at points due to family commitment. My daughter currently has the chicken pox, so I may desert my update to give her cuddles, as she's a very unhappy little girl at the moment!** And now, on with the show.**

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>A Gentle Nudge<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Scotland, 1908<strong>

It was quiet here. Cattle outnumbered people by five to one. He didn't have to talk to anyone. And the whiskey was fantastic.

He sat in a darkened room, surrounded by books and ripped sheets of paper, a half empty bottle of Glenfiddich reflecting the light from the lone candle. His eyes were hooded and his figure gaunt. He'd have to eat soon, but it meant moving.

Ten years, he had hidden. The voices had nearly driven him to sunrise, but he was so terrified of the hell that awaited him that he found shelter every day. After making his way blindly through Europe from Romania, he'd found that he couldn't stand people. He got people hurt. It was best to be alone. So he had come here. A remote village in Scotland, where it was always raining, always cold and there was plenty of wildlife to feed from.

And no one bothered the man living in the house where the screaming came from.

They were here now. The villagers didn't bother him but he was never alone. Someone was always there, taunting, crying, accusing. Thousands of faces, their lives on his hands. He was a demon and demons deserved no peace. Today was worse. Every day was bad, but today the faces were the worst ones. He wasn't drunk enough.

It had been his mother first. He hadn't killed her but he hadn't saved her either and his twisted psyche knew no different. She had stared at him for a long while and when he'd finally told her to piss off, she'd tutted at him.

'Language, William.' She scolded and he scowled, taking another deep drink. If he drank enough, he'd pass out and he preferred the nightmares to the hallucinations. Ten years had taught him that alcohol probably was the solution to his problems, or it had just told him that there was no solution to his problems. 'I never raised you like this. What happened to my sweet boy? You were capable of such greatness.'

'Yeah, well, I died.' He took another swig, ignoring the guilt that usually accompanied talking back to his tormentors. He knew he deserved this, knew he was guilty and that he should take their taunts and painful words, but being the person he was, it was difficult for him _not_ to argue. The spectre of his mother shook her head.

'That does not make you any less capable.'

'I killed people. Slayer. Think that disqualifies me from the greatness side of things.'

'And spending the rest of eternity getting drunk in a dark hole will make that better?'

He had no answer for that and she was suddenly gone. His reprieves from the spirits were short and sometimes worse. The quiet drove him mad.

Spike didn't know how long he had been sat there after his mother had gone, staring at the empty glass on the table. So the voice made him jump and when he recognised it, he couldn't turn to look at her. His day had just gone from the regular awful to out and out shit.

'You can't go on like this, William.'

He closed his eyes, her voice the purest torment. His greatest sin.

'I told you once that you were a good man. You can be again.'

'What's this? A new tactic.' He mused. 'Ghosts aren't bad enough, reliving what I've done. Now telling me just feeling guilty isn't enough. Enough, enough.' He sighed. 'I'm as batty as Dru.'

'You're not batty, William.'

'Coulda fooled me. I'm talking to myself.' He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and pulled the lid off, drinking deep. _She_ sighed behind him.

'You don't realise.'

He laughed. 'Realise what? That I'm a demon? I'm beneath everything? If I could, I'd meet the sunrise, but I'm too much of a coward!' He stood, snarling at his ghost. 'I killed you, Cath!'

And there she was. All red hair, rosy cheeks and sparkling blue eyes. And she was _smiling_ at him.

'The Spike I know would have adapted. He was a survivor.'

'The Spike you knew didn't have a soul shoved up his arse.' The vampire spat back.

'No. He didn't need one.' Her mouth turned up at the corners again and he burst into tears, collapsing to the floor.

'Please. Just leave me alone. Be anyone, but not her.' He sobbed into his hands. A light touch on his shoulder made him look up and she was still there, looking brighter. He was confused. His ghosts never touched him.

'I'm not one of your ghosts, Spike. We have watched. We have seen. The potential inside you is too great to ignore. You need to fight this, adapt, become who you were meant to be.' He stared at her, confusion written across his tear stained face. She smiled tilting his chin with her finger, his skin warming where she made contact. 'Our time was brief. It was not meant to be. But you are destined for so much more. You just need to embrace it. Adapt. Survive.' His gaze didn't waver as his mind tried to process what she was saying to him. Her hand left his chin and she smiled softly again. 'I have to go, William. Do not give up.'

* * *

><p>He woke up when the sun had gone down, finding himself alone. Had it been real? Was it really Catherine? Or had he just drunk too much whiskey? Wouldn't be the first time.<p>

He briefly wondered about Angelus. What had happened to him after they had been cursed? Spike couldn't see Darla tolerating him, no matter how much she claimed to love him. He didn't know if she would care for Drusilla as the insane seer needed either; she needed guidance every now and then.

Spike sighed and crawled from the nest of blankets he called a bed. Cath, if it had been her, had hinted that he could change this. He didn't believe for a second that he could redeem himself of two hundred years of mayhem and carnage. But maybe it couldn't hurt to try.

How does one start though? There wasn't an abundance of demons in Scotland. A city would provide more opportunity but there was the people factor. Spike liked his solitude. He needed somewhere populated that would be easy to hide in. And not London.

He'd never set foot there again if he could help it.

A sigh escaped him as he contemplated his options. He'd only just thought about it and he wanted to give up. But if _she_ believed in him, he had to try.

Could he be a good man?

* * *

><p><strong>Southampton, 1912<strong>

Spike hated travelling by boat. He much preferred trains, but across the Atlantic, that wasn't an option. He'd missed the earlier ship too, although with the pomp and grandeur they had given it, he was quite glad. He'd opted for First Class on a ship called the Olympic, which would afford him privacy in his own cabin.

He'd been hiding in Southampton for almost a week now, and had resorted to bribing a butcher for the blood from carcasses. He was overfeeding now to survive the week long trip across the ocean. Bilge rats on ships did not a tasty treat make.

Two days after his arrival in the port, he heard that the Titantic, the ship he had just missed, had struck an iceberg and sunk. He read the reports, guilt smothering him, even though he knew it was illogical to feel guilt over every death. Maybe if he'd been on the ship, he could have saved some. Or just burnt alive in the sun whilst sat in a lifeboat.

He listened to the gossip as he sat in the pub waiting for the ship to allow boarding. Thankfully, it was an overcast day, so he wouldn't have to find a way to sneak on under cover. Everyone was talking about the sinking and scandal surrounding it. He did not participate, but kept himself to a secluded booth. He sipped his whiskey, watching as people passed through. He still had forty five minutes until he could board the boat, and he was putting off the crowds until the last minute.

So when the man in the trenchcoat stood in front of him and smiled, he was not impressed.

'William Pratt?' It had been such a long time since he had heard his full human name, that he almost jumped. The man smiled wider. 'Are you Mr Pratt? I was told you would be here.' Spike nodded slowly. 'Oh good. This is for you.' The man pushed an envelope towards him. 'Enjoy your day.' And then he was gone. Spike blinked and eyed the envelope warily. For moments, he didn't move. Then he reached forward and pulled the envelope open, tipping the contents out onto the table. A gold ring fell out, a large green stone set in the metal and a card landed beside it. He inspected the ring and frowned, reading the card.

_"Perhaps this will help you adapt"_

No signature. He frowned deeper, then jumped out of his skin when the klaxon sounded for boarding. He gathered the ring and the card up, dumping them into his pocket, before leaving the bar, hurrying so as not to miss the boat.

* * *

><p>Three days into the journey, he found himself staring at the ring whilst ensconced in his cabin. He had not left his rooms, despite the many enquiries from the staff as to his well being. He'd gotten the point across with a grumpy "sod off". That had been yesterday. Now he was getting bored but blazing sunshine hampered his desire to leave.<p>

So he contemplated the ring, wondering how on earth it would help. He noticed a tiny flaw in the gem, which marred the surface. It was a pretty ugly piece of jewellery and he didn't want to wear it. But what else was the ring for?

Deciding on an exploration of the ship, avoiding sunlit areas, he put the ring on and grabbed his jacket. Upon leaving the cabin, he ignored the staff member outside who exclaimed at his emergence. He headed for the dining room, where he could hopefully locate a bar out of sunlight.

Within twenty minutes he was lost. Five more and he was _really_ lost. He sighed, finding a bench and sat to gather his bearings.

When the door opened from the outer deck and landed hot sunshine on him, he shrieked and fell to the floor, attempting to shield himself. Until he realised he wasn't burning. He stopped still and stared at the sunlight on his skin, and then saw the ring on his hand. _"Adapt"_.

He smiled.

'You alright, mister?' A high pitched voice questioned and Spike covered his eyes as he saw the boy that had crashed through the door. He was young, clearly a steerage passenger and he was probably up to no good. Spike cleared his throat and got to his feet, smoothing his shirt.

'No. I'm fine. Just surprised me is all.'

'Sorry, sir!' And the kid ran off, leaving the door open. Spike stared and took a hesitant step forward, wondering if it was trick or a dream. Inch by inch, he stepped into the light, feeling its warmth on his cold skin. He emerged fully onto the outer deck, closing his eyes and inhaling the salty sea air. Then he opened his eyes and squinted slightly as he adjusted. For the first time in two hundred and thirty two years, he saw the sun and blue sky and marvelled at the sea. He didn't even notice the other passengers, his focus solely on the sun, sea and sky. He smiled again, feeling something inside his heart beside sorrow and guilt.

He felt hope.

He could adapt.

He would survive.

He could be a good man.

* * *

><p><strong>New York, 1943<strong>

War had gripped the human world. It was everywhere. And the government had turned to the demon world for a solution. Spike had been quietly sitting in a bar, enjoying a solitary drink and some music, when four uniformed men had approached him. He'd reacted as he would to most strangers and told them to piss off, but they hadn't acquiesced. They sat down, pass him a folder and asked for his help.

He'd read the file. He'd asked them questions. Then he'd told them to piss off again.

Naturally they'd threatened him. He had them again, using stronger language, to get lost. Eventually they'd realised that he was not going to co-operate and had left, muttering about "plan B".

It could have been argued that Spike should have gone. But he was not interested in getting involved in human wars. He fought against demons and forces of supernatural origins. Not against a jumped up human tyrant.

He'd finished his drink and left the bar, intending on patrolling the streets of Manhattan for stray vampires. Halfway down the block, someone had hit him hard and pricked his neck with something.

So when he woke up in a cell, he was exceptionally pissed.

Immediately he'd checked his possessions, finding his ring still on his finger and his cigarettes still in his pocket. But his mood took a turn for the worse as he noticed his cellmate, sat in the darkened corner.

'Angelus.'

'It's Angel.' The glowering vampire muttered. Spike shrugged.

'Submarine mission.' The elder asked and Angel nodded. Spike snorted. 'Figures they wouldn't have taken no for an answer.' He looked at the brunette oddly. 'How've you been?'

'Brooding.' Angel replied, looking at the other vampire and frowning. 'Your hair's black.' Spike ran his hand through the slicked back locks and nodded.

'Fashion, innit?'

Angel "hmmmph"ed and they returned to silence. The room was swaying slightly, and Spike scowled.

'We're on a boat.' Angel mumbled, noticing Spike's expression. 'I'd say we're slowing down.'

'I don't like boats.' Spike growled.

He didn't like water either, so when they were dumped overboard with orders, he was not impressed. He had been vampnapped from land and chucked in the sea. He should have been home in bed with a full belly and relaxing after a good night's fighting. He'd just adjusted to this fight, after over forty years of wallowing in guilt, stopping demons and saving hapless mortals.

And he did not like getting wet.

The first thing he did when he got into the submarine, was strip a dead Nazi of his dry clothes. Angel stayed in his wet things. The martyr.

It hadn't taken long to assume command of the submarine and he took out the Prince Of Lies and Nostroyev quickly, discovering them feeding off the remainder of the crew. Only a few men were left alive. Finding the documentation and interrogating the Nazi had been fun, despite the disturbing revelation of the Germans' plan for demons. They had been all set to get the sub back to the Yanks, when the Nazi had attacked the only man who could fix the sub.

Lawson was now fading fast, a screwdriver sticking out of his belly, and his blood filling the submarine with a scent that made both the vampires salivate. Angel looked to Spike.

'We need him. We'll have to turn him.'

'You asking me for permission?' Spike scoffed. 'Do it yourself. You're a big boy.' _Don't ask me to do it, because I can't._ He added to himself, backing away. He couldn't watch it happen. The fact that he knew it was happening was tearing him in two. It wasn't the soul tormenting him this time - the memories were doing a good enough job on their own.

It didn't take long for Sam Lawson to rise as a vampire. When he had fixed the engine, he'd expressed a desire to eat the rest of the crew. Upon watching Angelus drag Lawson to the exit hatch, Spike had immediately realised his intention. 'You can't set him loose, Angelus.'

'For the last time, it's Angel.'

'I don't give a toss if it's bloody Cleopatra! You're not setting him loose.' Spike growled.

'I can't kill him. Again.' Angel grunted.

'No, the Nazi killed him.' Spike offered bluntly. 'You just did what had to be done. But turning him loose? More blood on your hands. On our hands. He's not like us. Or did the soul not stop you killing?'

'Of course it did,' Angel yelled and looked at Lawson, who was watching the argument with curiosity. 'You seem fine with it.' His gaze settled back on Spike.

'Yeah, after a decade of talking to myself and drinking whiskey.' Spike snarled back. 'If he kills, it's your fault. You really wanna add to the body count now?'

'What does it matter?' Angel shrugged. 'I can't make a difference to what I did.'

'Oh for pity's sake.' Spike grabbed the fledge, taking him and Angel by surprise. He pulled a stake from his waist band and in seconds, Lawson was dust. He looked at Angel pointedly. 'Sunrise is in six hours. Twenty miles to land. Wanna race?'

Angel shook away his shock at Spike's quick action. 'But the sub...'

'Bollocks. No more nasties on here. The sailors can manage it. But you know damn well if we go into port with this sub, we'll be the army's pets.' Angel looked morose as he contemplated Spike's words. Then he nodded. Spike grinned. 'First one to shore buys the beers.'

* * *

><p><strong>New York, 1977<strong>

He'd ditched Angel as soon as they'd reached shore, unwilling to spend another moment with the brooding hulk, and his memories of the atrocities they had committed together too much to bear. His own sense of guilt had berated him for not staking Angelus the first time he'd seen him to prevent the deaths that the younger vampire had caused. He knew that the blood was not technically on his hands, but his guilt seemed increasingly illogical.

So he had returned to New York and settled back into his routine, patrolling during the night, drinking too much and ignoring the various ghosts that haunted him. He still knew atonement was out of his reach but it wouldn't stop him doing the right thing. If only for her, he'd carry on fighting. It gave him a purpose to keep going, even when the voices got too much.

The sudden blackout in New York had him out on the streets, knowing the various evil entities would take advantage of the confused citizens of the city. He'd taken out four gangs of vampires by midnight and had worked tirelessly until dawn, when he returned to his apartment, dog tired and beat down, leaving the daytime evils to the human world.

Power hadn't been restored by the next night and to top it off, it was pissing it down. He'd gone out again, grumbling about the weather, and had found himself downtown, outside a club filled with teens. Vampire party time.

Punk music blared from the club and Spike found himself drawn in. He liked the music and the scene that went with it, blending in with his newly bleached hair and penchant for wearing ripped jeans and leather jackets. He'd even painted his nails black, but they were often chipped in the fights he found. Using eyeliner had been a new one for him, but he liked the overall "don't fuck with me" look that caused people to keep away. He liked it when the people kept away.

It was a good mask to protect himself.

He'd been in the club an hour when he spotted a hapless girl being groomed for dinner. The blonde was obviously intoxicated and he suspected she was underage too. The vampire was enticing her and plying her with alcohol. Spike huffed as they headed out of a fire exit and was quick to follow.

The poorly dressed demon led the girl down the darkened alleyway, and Spike rolled his eyes as the girl with the Gigdet haircut giggled and allowed herself to be led away. He dully noted that the rain had stopped, which made life a little easier.

The girl didn't notice as the vampire closed in for the kill, and Spike swiftly embedded a stake in his heart, turning him to dust as the girl spun and shrieked at his nearness.

'What happened?' She stuttered, staring at him in confusion. He sighed heavily.

'You nearly became a midnight snack. Shouldn't you be in bed?'

The girl just about managed to get some words out. 'My friends...'

'Your friends are idiots. Go home. Stay out of dark alleys and away from strange men.' He turned to leave.

'I don't know the way.' The girl whimpered, and he rolled his eyes again. 'My friends left. We got a cab here.'

Spike growled and looked heavenward, before turning back to the would-be vamp snack. 'Come on then. Where do you live?'

'Lower East.' The girl squeaked and he turned, striding off. He barely waited for her to catch up before they walked in silence through the city, her heels clicking on the pavement. 'What's your name?' The girl asked timidly, but he ignored her. She chewed her lip, noting his sullenness. 'I'm Joyce.'

'Good for you.' He cut her off, not interested in chit chat. Thank god East Side was not too far.

'I haven't lived here long. I'm just finishing high school.' He tutted and glared sidelong at her.

'So you're underage and clubbing?'

She blushed. 'My friends said it was okay. They don't card in there.'

'Not the point.' He bit out gruffly, ending the conversation again. They walked in silence once more and ten minutes later, Joyce coughed.

'I know where I am now.' He nodded and turned, heading back the way he came. 'Wait!' She called out and he stopped, but didn't turn. 'Thank you.'

'Live safe, Joyce. The dark is not your friend.' And he left.

He'd only gotten two blocks when a dark shadows in a long coat stepped in front of him. She was dark skinned with an afro and an attitude. A Slayer.

'Never seen a vamp walk his dinner home.' She regarded him coolly. 'You not know your job description, cracka?'

He glared at her. 'Leave me alone. I don't do anything that requires your attention.'

'Uh, I'm a vampire slayer. You're a vampire.'

'No, I'm leaving.' He made to step around her, but she placed a hand on his chest. He looked her dead in the eye, cursing his luck. 'I've no quarrel with you.'

'No, I know. You're the one all the others talk about. The one who saves humans and kills demons. What's yo deal?' She dropped her hand, searching his blue eyes.

'None of your business.' He looked her up and down. 'Nice coat.' He walked away and this time the Slayer did not stop him.

It was time to leave New York.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>I have the next few decades written up. Hopefully I can get it on here before too long. It will not be tomorrow as I have a friend's birthday and depending on if my husband is romantic or not concerning the 14th it may be a wait until Saturday. But I will promise now, whatever I have written up on my notepad will be up at the weekend. And I hope you will all enjoy it :)<p> 


	7. From One Hellmouth to Another

Story Notes: **Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Many thanks once again** for the reviews and comments received. It is very gratifying to know that people are enjoying this. As promised, this is the weekend update. I am going to attempt to keep this story rolling, and I hope you will bear with me if there are any gaps in the roll out of chapters!

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>From One Hellmouth To Another<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Cleveland, Ohio, 1997<strong>

He hadn't want to leave New York but spending so much time in one place had not been good for him. He'd stuck for sixty years, the longest he had stayed anywhere. He'd watched the city change and grow, had changed and grown with it to a certain degree. But he wasn't going to play the white hat in a town that had a Slayer. He couldn't.

So he packed up his few belongings, started up the old DeSoto he'd bought (and a sleek black beauty she was too, a real classic) and he'd trundled out of the city at daybreak. His thoughts had briefly drifted to the Slayer he had met and how she'd fare in the big apple. He'd not actively avoided slayers in all his time with a soul, but after her and their shock collision, he kept his ear to the ground.

Wherever there was a Slayer, Spike was not.

In 1986, he had landed in Cleveland, which was located on a Hellmouth. He'd heard of the phenomenon but never encountered it, and when he'd entered the city limits, his demon had been appeased with the location, even with his soul, he could feel the demonic energy around him. And there were no Slayers here. It had been perfect. Plenty of fights, some good bars, excellent music. He'd even found a nice flat in the south of the city and for over a decade, he'd kept the demons at bay. He knew the city inside out and whilst he kept acquaintances, he never allowed himself friends.

Friends were not a luxury he could afford.

So when a demon turned up on his doorstep, dressed in a hideous green shirt and fedora, he had initially given him the grumpy Spike standard greeting.

But the irritating fellow had persisted at gaining entry, saying he was a representative of the "Powers That Be". He then introduced himself as Whistler and headed for Spike's scotch. Spike scowled.

'What exactly can I do you for, mate?'

'Thing is, you've made a name for yourself. They,' he pointed upwards, 'have noticed you. And we need your help.'

'The last time someone asked me for help, I was knocked out and dumped 20,000 leagues under the sea.'

'Yeah, that was unfortunate.' Whistler kissed his teeth and Spike had urge to knock them out. 'But we need you. In California, Sunnydale to be precise.' Spike eyed the demon closely. He knew the story behind Sunnydale. He knew it was another Hellmouth, one more active than this one.

He also knew it was guarded by a Slayer.

'I like Cleveland, mate. Fresh blood from the butchers, regular violence, nice pad. Why in the hell would I want to go to California?'

'This Hellmouth is inactive. Sunnydale isn't. More demons to fight.' He was playing the right tune, but Spike wasn't about to dance to it. Whistler dropped his shoulders. 'Come on, man. It's not like you have to worry about the sun.'

'Not interested.' Spike repeated, removing the decanter of whiskey from the badly dressed demon and pouring himself a glass. Whistler levelled him with a stare.

'Angel's there.'

That was new. He'd not known that. Angel must be keeping himself low to the ground for Spike _not_ to know that. Last he'd heard, Angel had suffered a serious relapse for feeding on a human and was eating rats in a New York alleyway. Spike should have gone to him, should have helped the younger vampire, but the serious amount of guilt that accompanied seeing the brunette had stopped him.

'And why would I care about that?' _Yeah, play it cool, you ponce._

'He was supposed to protect the Slayer.' That was interesting. They'd sent Angel on a mission to protect the Slayer. First for everything, he supposed.

'Let me guess; he failed.' Spike drawled, turning away from the demon and sipping his whiskey.

'She died.' Whistler waited for a response but got none. 'Master killed her.'

'Ole' Batface? Hmph. Slayers die every day.' The statement reflected no outwards reaction but Spike felt sick inside.

'She's not dead. Her friend revived her with CPR.' Spike raised an eyebrow at the revelation. Whistler continued. 'She was only dead two minutes, and she kicked the Master's butt back to hell afterwards.'

'That's a new one.' The vampire admitted. He still wasn't sold on going to Sunnydale. If Angel was there, they didn't need him. There was something else going on here, and he wasn't willing to risk getting close to another Slayer to find out.

'Look,' Whistler sighed, knowing he was losing the pitch, 'The PTB want you there. They been watching you a long time. Seeing you fight the good fight. Angel is supposed to be a champion, but his reluctance to save the Slayer...let's just say they're not content to put all their eggs in one basket anymore.'

'So I'm Plan B.' Spike scoffed, his irritation at being a last thought clear. 'I'm touched.'

Whistler shook his head. 'No, you were good doing your own thing. We thought Angel was too, especially when he killed Darla.' The demon waited for a response, but got none beyond the stiffening of Spike's back. 'But things have changed. He's gotten...close to the Slayer. And we're not willing to risk the fate of the world on a lovesick vampire with shaky soul.'

'But you're willing to risk it on two?' Spike commented dryly, finishing his glass of whiskey.

'Well, er, yeah.' The demon shrugged.

Spike eyed him with a hard stare. 'I'm not buying what you're selling, mate. I'm not seeing why you need me if you have a Slayer AND Angelus in one town protecting the Hellmouth.'

'It's not the Hellmouth that needs protecting, Spike.' Whistler's expression was serious. 'It's the Slayer.'

* * *

><p><strong>Sunnydale, 1997<strong>

Driving into the small leafy suburb had bored him to no end. Even knocking over the "Welcome To Sunnydale" sign in a spur of rebellious behaviour hadn't appeased his mood, so he'd stopped for a cigarette. As he inhaled the mentholated smoke, his thoughts flashed back to his conversation with Whistler. Why had he agreed to this? He'd spent a century avoiding Slayers. Now he was going to actively help one? Well, he could do that without spending any great amount of time in her presence. Piss easy.

He'd gleaned what he could from Whistler. Slayer was blonde, sixteen, Valley girl type. Friends and a Watcher in on the fighting. And good ol' Angelus. A support group; unusual to say the least.

He climbed back into the old battered DeSoto and trundled through town, looking for a place to hang his trench-coat for the day. That was one thing that could be said for the New York slayer - he'd liked her coat so much that he'd hunted down one of his own. Twenty years it had been on his back, and he wore it like armour. He'd kept the bleached hair and painted nails, liking the image it portrayed. He attracted attention, but it was the sort of attention where people crossed the road to avoid him, and that was just how he liked it.

He was glad of one thing - no one could get the ring from him now. After the incident with the army in '43, he'd taken a knife and cut his leg open, burying the damn ugly piece of jewellery in his own flesh. Then he'd let it heal. He wasn't risking losing it, not the one thing that gave him sunlight and a reflection, made him feel less like the demon he was. And certainly not when he had his suspicions about who had _gifted_ it to him. The ratty old card with the single sentence on it sat in his breast pocket still, and he never looked it. He didn't need to. He knew it was there._  
><em>

His research had led him down empty dead ends with regards to the jewellery. He'd read up on everything he could find, finally coming to a text containing information about the "Gem Of Amara". He wasn't sure it was the same gem that he possessed, but there was no picture. The Gem apparently granted the wearer invincibility and instantaneous healing - and Spike knew for a fact that the ring did not grant those things to him. He had come home battered, bruised and sliced from one side almost to the other before now and he certainly hadn't healed any faster. The ring had granted him sunlight, the ability to bleach his own hair without seeking a late night salon, and a certain amount of resistance to holy water and crosses.

Not that he'd ever been bothered by crosses. He wasn't an overly religious type when he was alive, so it was just a symbol as long as he didn't touch it.

So he wasn't sure if the ring he possessed was this fabled gem, but it was the closest he could find. As long as it remained a secret, he didn't give a toss what it was. He didn't needed every Tom, Dick and Dracula attacking him to get what he had.

His thoughts drifted away as he spied an old motel and pulled up, grabbing his holdall from the boot. As he glanced around the town he'd landed in, making a mental note to find his own apartment as soon as possible, he sighed, wondering again what in the hell he'd let himself in for.

* * *

><p>The first thing he'd done was get the skinny on Sunnydale and the place he'd found out about from pummelling a deeply stupid vampire in the first cemetery he'd found, was The Alibi Room. A little human rat by the name of Willy ran the place, and he'd probably know all about the Big Bads in town. Within half an hour of entering the establishment, he'd killed four vampires, shaking the information regarding a certain "anointed one" out of the weasel behind the bar, and had made sure the local demons knew he was in town and exactly who he was.<p>

When he left the bar, he headed straight to the downtown district of the little town. It didn't take long to focus his instincts on the warehouse containing the little powerhouse of a vampire. Waltzing in, he'd overheard a vampire bragging about being at the crucifixion and he'd laughed out loud.

'Please. If every vampire who said he was actually at the crucifixion, was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock.' The vampire had growled and rushed him, only to end up on the floor with a broken neck. He wasn't getting up again any time soon.

'I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I bummed a cig off a flower person and spent six hours watching my hand move.' Another vampire rushed him and he punched him, sending him spinning across the room. The small child that radiated power glared at him, but motioned for his minions to stand back.

'Who are you?' The child demanded, and Spike eyed him with interest.

'Spike. I've heard about. You're that Anointed Guy.'

'I've heard of you.' The small vampire nodded, raising his chin defiantly. 'You're William The Bloody. The Master told me about you. That you have killed Slayers.'

'And you happen to have a Slayer problem.' Spike observed. The child nodded. Spike grinned at him. 'You know what I find works real good with Slayers?' he leaned in, his senses aware of the vampires closing in around him. 'Avoiding them.'

The stake slipped from his wrist slowly, and he thrust it forward, reducing the powerful Anointed One to just a pile of ashes. The vampires roared in anger at his actions and attacked as one, but they were all young and particularly dimwitted. This was why he'd never bothered with minions. They were just more hassle than they were worth.

Within ten minutes, Spike was panting, out of habit rather than necessity, and the smile on his face with huge. All of the vampires were dead or had run as fast as they could from the leather whirlwind that had taken their leader out.

One problem down. He lit a fag and headed for the exit, kicking at debris on the floor as he went. Now to face his next problem; finding a rent controlled, demon friendly apartment.

As he'd strolled through town back to the motel, a shiver down his spine made him acutely aware of a Slayer nearby. He ducked into an alleyway and out of sight, and a couple of moments later the feeling faded. He moved back out onto the street and turned in the direction he had been heading, seeing her just down the road, a blonde flanked by a red head girl and brown haired boy. He'd watched her for a moment, sensing the life in her from even this distance. But he had quickly dropped his gaze and turned to head back in the opposite direction, intent on finding another way around. As he turned completely aware, his eyes clashed with a deep brown gaze he hadn't seen in over fifty years.

'Spike?' Angel stared, open mouthed. The blond regarded him coolly, noting the changes in the other vampire since they'd last seen each other.

''lo Angelus.'

'It's Angel.' Spike smirked at the glowering look on Angel's face. 'You know that. What are you doing here?' Ah, here we go. Boy had grown some balls since they'd last met.

'God a summons here. Just like you.' Spike hunched his shoulders.

'Who from?' Angel narrowed his eyes, suspicion clouding his face.

'Badly dressed tosser, name of Whistler.'

'Oh yeah. Him.' The brunette nodded. Spike lit another cigarette, his eyes never leaving the younger vampire.

'Said you killed Darla.'

Angel drew in a breath. 'Yeah.' Spike didn't say anything, and his body did not relay any hint of a reaction. He didn't need to. Angel had killed his own Sire. It would have hurt him more. Spike had _known_ somehow that she was dead, but maybe it was the soul, cos he couldn't bring himself to care. 'She was going to kill Buffy.'

'That the Slayer?' He knew this of course, but he wanted to know just how close to this Slayer Angel was. The way the brunette's jaw tightened as he nodded betrayed everything to the blond. 'Guess it had to be done then.'

'I'm sorry, Spike. I didn't have a choice.' He felt worse about it than Spike did then. Was probably eating away at him. Spike shrugged in response. Angel looked around, clearly uncomfortable. 'You sticking around then?'

'Guess so. I'm looking for a place. Staying at the Sunnydale Inn at the moment. S'not the comfiest.' He nodded once. 'Right then. See you around.'

'You'll be in touch.'

'Whatever.' Spike threw as he shouldered past the other vampire, who called out for him to wait. Spike turned, raising an eyebrow.

'I think you should meet Buffy. Just so she knows who you are. And not to stake you.' Spike barked out a laugh at the suggestion.

'No thanks.' He flicked the fag out. 'Not in the mood for group hugs and playdates. And I'd like to see you _try_ to stake me.' He started walking again. 'See you around, Angelus.'

'It's _Angel_.' Came the growled reply.

* * *

><p>'No new demons tonight, Giles?' Buffy questioned, leaning on the library counter and rocking on her heels. 'Cos I'm kinda bored.'<p>

'Have you not had enough excitement this week, Buffy?'

'Well. Not that nearly getting eaten by a frat-boy worshipped snake wasn't all giggles and fun...' she smiled, then groaned and stamped her foot. 'There's no vamps around. And you don't like sparring with me anymore.' Giles looked up from his book, peering over his glasses.

'I'm perfectly happy to spar with you. I'm just not happy about my insurance premiums.'

'Spoilsport.' The Slayer pouted and looked up as Angel opened the library doors and swept through. Her eyes brightened and she smiled widely. Giles frowned at her reaction - he still had reservations about this relationship. 'Angel!' Buffy exclaimed. 'You always pop up with a cryptic warning. Whatcha got?'

Angel _almost_ smiled at her. 'Nothing that need killing.'

'Ugh.' Buffy deflated. 'You're no help.'

A smile finally graced the vampire's face, and then he looked to Giles. 'We have a new player in town. Name of Spike.'

'He a dog?' Buffy scoffed.

'Buffy, please.' Giles pleaded.

'Sorry, sorry. Just bored is all.'

The Watcher regarded her with exasperation and then motioned for Angel to continue. The vampire grimaced. 'Spike. William The Bloody.' Giles' eyes widened. 'You've heard of him.' Angel didn't ask. There weren't many Watchers who hadn't heard of the elder vampire with a soul. Like with himself, the soul was often omitted, the infamy coming from the violent acts before they had both changed.

'Yes. I doubt there is a Watcher who hasn't.' The librarian echoed the vampire's thought. 'How can you say he is not a threat?'

'Who's this guy?' Buffy asked, her curiosity peaked at Giles' reaction. Her Watcher looked at her.

'William The Bloody is a very old vampire. Older than Angel.' He looked to the vampire, who nodded in confirmation. 'You share a Sire, I believe.' Another nod. 'He is a vampire of notable viciousness, Buffy. He has killed four Slayers.' The blonde baulked at the information. Giles looked back to Angel. 'How can he not be a threat? He's over 300 years old.'

Angel sighed. 'He's like me.' Both humans looked at him. 'We were cursed at the same time. He was held responsible by the gypsies and they cursed him too. I've only seen him once since. He was living in New York for a long time but left in the 70's. I don't know where he went after.'

'And you're sure he's still - er - good?' Giles clarified.

'Yeah. Word around Sunnydale is that he took out the Anointed One and his minions.'

'What?' Buffy whined. 'That's why I've had nothing to do?' She folded her arms, sulking. 'Why has he come here? To ruin my fun?' Angel shrugged, not mentioning what Spike had told him.

'He was always a strange vampire.'

Giles nodded. 'Yes, well, do you think you could arrange a meeting?'

Angel shook his head. 'Spike...he, uh, he doesn't play well with others. And he doesn't like Watchers.'

Buffy frowned. 'Why?' She asked and Angel chewed his lip, looking uncomfortable.

'Tell the truth, I don't know. We weren't close. He...tolerated me.'

Buffy muttered, then stood straight. 'Well. Just tell him to stop taking my fun away.' She sighed and looked at the clock. 'I'm going home. Call me if you need me.'

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>No cliffhanger this time. I'll get a new chapter to you by Sunday. This one was mostly filler (ha!) but now Spike is in Sunnydale, the real fun can begin...<p> 


	8. Reluctance To Blend

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note: **From here on out, unless otherwise notified, we are in Sunnydale. I'm not going to rehash canon stories, unless Spike has a significant impact on the tale. So forgive me if I skip the stuff we've already seen on tv! Also, we're going to be seeing things from Buffy's POV now too, as this story focuses on her just as much as it does on Spike. Pre-emptive warnings for Bangel. Nothing graphic but bear in mind that Buffy was in love with Angel at this point and she doesn't know Spike. Plenty of UST though :D **Mild Angel-bashing warning.**

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Reluctance To Blend<strong>

* * *

><p>The Bronze had been a no-go. She'd dressed up in her favourite red sparkly top and danced her little heart out, but she just wasn't feeling it. Even Xander's spazz-out Dad dancing hadn't cheered her up. And it wasn't just the D she'd gotten on her French homework that was bringing her mood down. The lack of action was getting to her. She'd been in charge of Parent Teacher night the previous week and it had been boring, not mention it had earned her a grounding from her mom for Snyder's little lecture on her behaviour.<p>

And she'd done such a good job of the night. Even with a lack of input from Sheila. Who'd disappeared completely off the face of the planet. Who knows what had happened to her.

Giles' had warned her repeatedly of some Night Of St. Vigeous and she'd whittled, trained and boom...nothing. Nada. Zip. No vampires.

Probably because this "Spike" had taken them all out.

Without mistaking her grouchiness, she loved the fact that she'd had two early nights in a row, and she hadn't broken a single nail and yeah, it had been fun to kick back and relax, and mock Giles for cleaning his glasses so much she was surprised he had any lens left. He'd been panicking and preaching, and nothing had happened. A big ol' bupkiss, as Xander would put it.

But she was bored. Whilst she both berated and resented her calling, it did give her a significant amount of purpose in life. She missed having to only worry about which cute boy was paying her attention, and if she'd missed the homework for her sociology class, but being the Slayer had changed her, even more so since she'd killed the Master. And died herself.

And since this new fighter had come to town, she'd found less and less vampires to pummel with her frustration and quippy one liners at teachers only landed her in trouble.

This "Spike" was way too proactive. Talk about spoiling her fun.

A rustle off to her left caught her attention and she smiled.

Well, maybe not _all_ her fun.

* * *

><p>The alleyway was dark and dim. Rats scurried behind dumpsters and a few crumpled paper bags rustled along the street. Sounds came closer and the rats went for cover as a disfigured man flew across the breadth of the alley, hitting the dumpster with a grunt. The blonde girl that followed behind smiled as she wielded her weapon of choice.<p>

"See, told ya I was faster."

Unseen eyes watched from the shadows as the girl, dressed in jeans and a sparkly red top that hugged her every curve, hit her opponent with a quick jab combination, dazing him further, before shoving the stake through his chest and reducing him to ash clinging to the side of the filthy dumpster.

Buffy wiped her hands on her jeans, scrunching up her nose in disgust, jumping in surprise when a clapping came from the shadows and her voyeur emerged, white hair gleaming in the dim light from the street.

"Nice work, luv."

The Slayer frowned at him. "Who are you?"

He smirked, hooking his thumbs through the belt hoops on his jeans. "Name's Spike."

"Oh." Buffy relaxed a little, not entirely willing to drop her guard completely. "The guy Angel told us about." Spike's jaw ticked and he nodded slowly.

"Thought Angelus might share." He sounded pissed at the fact, so Buffy trod carefully. Angel had said Spike had a soul, like him.

"He said you aren't to be staked. That you have a soul. You're a good guy, right?"

Gods, she was young. So innocent. Clearly in love with the big brute. Just Angel's type. "Having a soul doesn't make me a good guy."

Buffy frowned again and he refused the urge to chuckle. She was cute. "Well...I mean..."

"I'm teasing, pet."

She folded her arms in indignation. "Obviously having a soul doesn't stop you being an asshole either."

He did chuckle then. "Touchè."

She sighed, obviously impatient to leave. "Angel says you'll help us."

"You repeat everything Angel says? Cos he's also says that hairgel he uses is fantastic."

Her face darkened. Note to self: keep Angel - bashing to a minimum around the Slayer. She pursed her lips and snarled at him. "What, did it clash with all the bleach you use?"

He couldn't help it, he laughed out loud. "Oh I like you."

"I don't think the feeling is mutual." She spat, turning to leave. He turned quicker, taking long strides away from her.

"No, it wouldn't be. See you around, luv."

He laughed again as her voice floated back to him, full of venom. "I'm not your love."

Spike couldn't wait to watch this one dance.

* * *

><p>'So, I went patrolling when I left you guys last night.'<p>

Willow looked up from her book, uncrossing her legs from her position on the couch. The lunch room had been packed so they'd decided to take their pack ups in the foyer. Buffy had been quiet most of the morning, and after Xander had left, Willow hadn't expected much conversation. But the tone of her friend's voice made her think there was something that Willow was required on.

'And?' She put the book back in the bag, saving her place for later. Her eyes went to Buffy, all attention now reserved for her best friend.

'I met this Spike that Angel told us about.' Buffy's eyes were full of excitement and Willow smiled.

'So dish! What was he like?'

'Ugh, he's rude, obnoxious, totally an asshole.' The Slayer smiled coyly. 'And no one on earth should be allowed cheek bones like that.'

Willow chuckled. 'A hottie huh?'

'Oh totally. Don't get me wrong, all on the Angel-wagon over here, but I can look right?' Buffy sighed. 'Oh can I look. I bet he's got some killer moves under all that leather.'

'Leather?' Willow squeaked. 'He's like, a biker?'

'More punk.' Buffy clarified, chewing the inside of her mouth thoughtfully. 'You know...' Willow caught the new tone. Some plotting was afoot. 'We could sneak into Giles' diaries. I wanna know more. Angel was _not _with the forthcoming about this guy. And I'm kinda curious about the things he said. Like this guy taking out four slayers.' She paused, looking over her shoulder in the direction of the library. 'If he's that good, I should really know more. Just in case.'

Willow narrowed her eyes. 'And you need me to...?' She trailed off, the end of her question needing completion from her friend. Buffy smiled.

'Come with me.' She grabbed her friends hand, and the red head yelped as the blonde pulled her along, heading for the library. Giles was with Ms Calendar on a lunch date, something Buffy hadn't totally pushed him into, but she'd definitely given him a nudge or two. Within minutes, they were in the deserted library, and Buffy smiled at her friend in a sly manner. 'You wait here. If Giles come back, just distract him.' She frowned. 'If Spike is over 300, what year would that be?'

Willow rolled her eyes, smiling slightly. 'Grab the 1600's. Should have everything in there.'

'I'll just get what I can carry.'

* * *

><p>Forty minutes later, they were in the girls bathroom, sat on the tiled floor surrounded by books. Both of them had taken the initiative to sit on their sweaters so they didn't get cold. Buffy flicked through pages of the diaries, her eyes scanning the pages. Willow was doing the same, her eyes darting to the door every time she heard a noise. Buffy had locked the door, but it didn't stop the red head panicking, knowing they should be in study hall and knowing they shouldn't have these books.<p>

She was sure Buffy was a bad influence on her at times.

'Oooo, how about this one?' Buffy nudged her friend and showed her the book. A drawing of Spike, dressed in thuggish clothing, a long coat and heavy boots on his feet. Willow made a face at the blood depicted in the picture and read the caption.

'William The Bloody, sired 1680. Origins unknown. Sire known as Darla.' She made a noise in the back of her throat. 'The same Darla that...' She didn't finish and Buffy nodded.

'Yeah, I know. I don't think they've got his face right here. It looks like him, but...too tall.' She read through the rest of the entries, then dropped the diary.

'How about this one?' Willow offered her book. 'Says he took out a Slayer in Germany. She made her own weapons. Her watcher found her the next day, and they knew he'd been coming for her. He was heard claiming responsibility for it.' Buffy made a face.

'He does seem like the type to brag.'

'Nothing else in here. Aside from a mob he incited in Luxembourg.' Willow noted, putting the book down.

'Yeah, there's a few of those in here too.' Buffy frowned. 'He likes himself a mob.' They both descended into silence, captivated by the books.

'Hey, look at this one.' Willow said suddenly, making Buffy jump a little. 'Someone has speculated on his origins. Says he might have been called "William Pratt" when he was alive. And that he was...whoa. A Lord.'

'Really? But all these others say he was a thug. Probably found on a street corner.'

'Oh.' Willow gasped. Buffy looked over at what her friend had and saw a picture of Spike depicted with a beautiful woman, with dark hair and a gothic looking dress. The red head started to read the passage as Buffy stared at the picture. 'It is suspected that William The Bloody took up with Drusilla the Mad upon her turning. Drusilla was turned in 1860, driven insane by Angelus. The four vampires were often found together.'

'So she was like...his girlfriend?' Buffy mused, her eyes not leaving the picture. 'She's pretty.'

'Says here that she was killed. Around 1900.' Willow looked at Buffy. 'So no competition then.'

Buffy levelled her friend with a funny look. 'I'm not looking for competition. I'm totally with Angel, Wills. Spike is...he's not even a blip.'

'Not even a hot blip?' Willow teased and Buffy elbowed her gently, making the redhead squeak.

'No. Not hot. Annoying. Stubborn.' _With gorgeous blue eyes._ She shook herself and pulled another book open. Both of them returned to reading again. 'There's a lot of gaps. Times when he disappeared. No mobs, no nothing. Like here. London, 1877. He took off from the Scourge Of Europe - how tacky is _that_ name - and wasn't heard from for months. Then he ups and kills a Slayer and her Watcher and his whole household. Then he goes nuts for twenty years until...well, I assume this was when he and Angel were cursed.'

A banging on the door caught their attention and both girls looked up, panicked. Willow grabbed the books and Buffy ran to open the door as soon as all the diaries were away in their school bags. As she opened the door, Cordelia stood on the other side, looking impatient and annoyed.

'What are you guys doing?' The cheerleader asked, a disdainful look on her face. 'Locking yourselves in the bathroom? Kinda gay, don't you think?'

'Whatever, Cordelia. We're just leaving.'

'Oh good. I wouldn't want to look like I'm actually hanging out with you.'

* * *

><p>It was Halloween. Spike had taken one look out of the apartment window, seen the screaming kids in their demon masks, and returned to his television set. He'd found this place through Willy, and had quickly settled himself in. The furnishings were sparse for now, only having a desk with the small telly, and a bookcase. He'd lost a lot of his books when he left New York and hadn't really bothered to replace any in Cleveland, except for the ones he truly couldn't live without. Something he would have to work on at least to keep out of trouble.<p>

Reading was always a good escape for him. Darla had encouraged it...she knew that a good book kept him from a good mob.

His thoughts wandered to his Sire for a moment and he was glad that she was gone. He didn't know how he could have handled her with a soul and was surprised she'd never come looking for him. But then, she'd never looked for Angel either and she'd claimed to love him. She'd never felt anything for Spike beyond familial affection, and the need for companionship.

Somehow, knowing that both her and Drusilla were dust brought him a measure of peace.

Peace that was quickly shattered by a knock on the door.

Spike groaned and got up, throwing open the door with an over exaggerated movement and he groaned again when he saw who his visitor was. The badly dressed Whistler smiled brightly at him, and the vampire had to control the urge to punch him in the face.

'Staying in?'

'It's Halloween. Nothing going on.'

'This is Sunnydale. It's never quiet.'

'I don't really care. I patrolled last night. I'm sure the Slayer can handle the deadest night of the year.' Spike turned away as Whistler entered the modest flat and shut the door behind him. The vampire was suddenly glad he'd taken the initiative to hide his booze - the little demon was a dab hand at helping himself and Spike did not like sharing alcohol. Especially not with people he didn't particularly like.

'You're not helping.'

Spike rolled his eyes. 'I'm here aren't I? In the town you wanted me in. Pulled my strings good and proper.' He paused and glared at the demon. 'I don't want to be pally with Slayer and her chums.' He made a noise._  
><em>

'You need to be involved in the world, Spike. If you don't care about it, how can you want to save it?'

Spike grimaced, knowing his own reasons for fighting the fight, but not willing to share them with the demon, even though he had his suspicions that the creepy little fucker knew them. 'No. The last time I got close to a Slayer...' He trailed off, closing his eyes as he tried to compose himself. Whistler sighed.

'We know, Spike.' The blonde opened his eyes again, his thoughts confirmed.

'Then you know why I can't do it again.'

'We're not asking you to be her friend, or anything like that. We're asking you to protect her. Buffy Summers is special.'

'Maybe she is. But why am I the vamp for the job? Angel clearly loves her.' Whistler's face did not betray his thoughts. He shook his head.

'Because Angel doesn't have what you have.' Spike tilted his head to the side, contemplating the badly dressed messenger.

'And what's that?'

'Selflessness.' Spike laughed at the demon's reply.

'You lot think I'm selfless?' He chuckled dryly. 'Pull the other one.'

'You are. You have had no reason to fight other than the encouragement of a ghost. One you haven't even _seen_ in ninety years. Yes you still carry on. Angel does it for a prize.'

'There's a prize?' Spike queried, interested. Whistler rolled his eyes.

'He fights for redemption.' The blond snorted. 'But he also thinks that he and Buffy are destined to be together.'

'Slayer's not a prize.' Spike growled, tightening his fists. Whistler nodded in agreement.

'We know that too. And it's not destined. But he does love her. He doesn't, however, give any thought to the consequences.'

'Consequences?' Spike arched an eyebrow but the demon waved a hand.

'It's not important. Fact is, this girl is important. She needs more help than what she has.'

Spike contemplated the smaller man and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He didn't want to get involved, he didn't even want to be in this two bit town, but his goddamned soul had nagged and bitched and made him realise that he could maybe make a difference. He couldn't save..._her_ but...maybe...he could save this Buffy girl. It didn't take the blood away. It wouldn't take the guilt away. But _she _might be proud of him. He released his nose and nodded slowly, blue eyes raising to meet Whistler.

'Fine. But the minute I get called for a night at the Bronze, I'm gone.'

* * *

><p>The Slayer wandered through the cemetery, kicking at clumps of freshly mown grass and grumbling at them. 'Stupid moms, and their stupid perfect boyfriends.'<p>

'Problems, Slayer?' The English accent made her look up. She scowled at the bleached newcomer.

'What do _you_ want?'

He sniffed and stubbed out the cigarette in his hand. 'Nothing. Just lookin' for some nasties to beat on.'

'Good for you.' Her tone was full of disdain as she walked past him, intent on ignoring his presence. He followed regardless, watching her closely. She was smaller than the other Slayers he'd seen but she had a similar attitude about her to the New York Slayer. He wondered how this little thing had killed the Master. 'God, are you following me?' She stopped and made a noise of disgust, whirling on him. 'Creepy much?'

'Wasn't following, per say.' He grinned smugly. 'Got told to help. So 'ere I am. Helping.'

'Told by who?' She put her hands on her hips, all spitfire and indignation. He smiled at her.

'Some rep for the higher powers and whatnot.'

'I don't need help.' She folded her arms, looking put out by the suggestion.

'Maybe not.' He shrugged, pulling his fags out of his pocket. 'But I've been doing this a long time.' He lit a fresh cigarette and Buffy scrunched up her nose in disgust. He took a drag and exhaled. 'Come on, Slayer. What's got you gripin'?'

'My _name_ is Buffy.' He would never call her that. She was the Slayer. It was all she could be to him. 'And my gripe is personal.'

'Maybe I can help?' He offered and she glared at him, hazel eyes all alight with fury.

'How? I don't like my mom's new boyfriend. That's it.'

'Oh.' He went quiet, lost for words. She was full of surprises then. Wasn't often someone could shut him up so effectively.

'Didn't think so.' She muttered and turned to walk away.

He watched her leave but didn't follow and took his patrol to the other side of town, his thoughts full of a blonde Slayer with attitude. He found barely any rest that day and no satisfaction in the three fledglings he staked. The next night, after seeing the Slayer again, he decided to avoid the cemeteries and scope out the clubs and pubs in the small town. He found himself at the Bronze, contemplating everything over a pint of very crap beer.

So he damn near jumped when a little red head appeared next to him, smiling. 'Hi.' She said, waving a little. He merely looked at her with disdain.

'Not interested.' He'd said gruffly. The girl looked horrified at his implication.

'No, no! I'm a friend of Buffy's. You're Spike right?'

He narrowed his eyes. 'Yeah. What of it?'

'Oh nothing. It's just...' The cute little redhead chewed her lip and he took a second to muse over the multicoloured sweater she had on. Her words brought him crashing back to reality. 'She's...Buffy might be in trouble.' His attention was now focused on her. 'Her mom's boyfriend, Ted? Well, he died. Buffy mighta, sorta killed him. Accidentally!' Spike waited. The little redhead was flustered and he actually found she was quite adorable when she babbled. 'But we think he was evil.' She pulled a bag of cookies from her satchel. 'These were drugged. He made them.'

'And?' Spike sniffed, eyeing the bag. 'Human problems, pet. Hardly supernatural.' Willow nodded in agreement.

'I know. But we wanted to scope out his place. I just thought a vampire sense of smell might help. Not to mention, I did some digging and some stuff just doesn't add up.'

'Why don't you ask Angel?' The vampire asked, supping his beer. Willow bit her lip and looked at him with an expression of embarrassment.

'Xander doesn't like him. And he doesn't know you.'

'So this is half-needing a vamp, half-wanting to be nosey about me? Tell the truth now, Red.' _Don't give them nicknames, you berk._ The girl chewed her cheek, clearly getting more nervous the more she spoke to him.

'Yeah. Okay.' She smiled a little. 'But we really would like your help.'

Spike sighed, looking at her for a moment. His blue eyes searched hers, and he knew this girl was a soft touch. She seemed nice, probably too easy to coerce into things by her friends. She was obviously incredibly intelligent. Maybe helping her and her chums wouldn't be a bad idea. Afterall, he wasn't technically hanging around the slayer if she wasn't there, but he was still helping. So Whistler could shove it.

'Okay, pet.' He stood, chugging the beer in seconds. He smiled at Willow, who beamed back. 'Lead the way.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>So how long before Spike earns his Scooby badge?<p> 


	9. Concerning Invitations

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note: **The mild Angel-bashing warning is in force still...in fact, it'll probably be in force for the rest of the fic. I'll try and be as nice as I can. Without breaking character of course! I cannot say when the next update will arrive, so enjoy this one!

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Concerning Invitations<strong>

* * *

><p>'Hello salty goodness.' Cordelia whistled and Xander threw her a dirty look. He watched as Willow approached with Spike in tow, his eyes narrowing at the vampire. Spike eyed him back.<p>

'Male posturing. Must be you're Xander.' Spike grinned. ''M Spike.'

'So I've heard.' The boy groused, his eyes remaining narrowed at the vamp. 'Like Angel, yeah?'

Spike growled and the whelp jumped. 'I am _nothing_ like that poof.'

'Good to hear.' Cordelia interjected, allowing her eyes to roam over the blond appreciatively. 'I'm Cordelia Chase.' Spike looked her over, then dismissed her with an arched eyebrow. His gaze returned to Willow as Cordelia perfected her impression of a fish.

'So Red, it's your show.' She smiled and they made their way downtown to Ted's apartment. Willow had pilfered the address from the internet, and the records showed he owned an underground bunker, similar to the ones they built in the 50's. Almost immediately after breaking the door lock and entering the apartment, Spike gagged loudly.

Willow span round. 'What?' She asked, steeling herself for whatever Spike had discovered.

'The decor in here is awful.' The vampire spat, a look of utter disgust on his face. Cordelia laughed and Xander managed to raise a smile. 'Can tell you now that this place is not lived in.' Spike looked around. 'There's no scent.'

'Maybe he's just a clean freak?' Xander suggested but Spike shook his head.

'No. There'd be a smell. Any smell. This place smells like...new car.' Xander made an "o" face and started poking around, as did the others.

'The files said that he'd been married four times since '57. But he sure doesn't look over forty.' Willow commented, fingering through a filing cabinet. Cordelia shrugged and opened a closet door, shutting it again quickly. She turned to the others, a sickly shade coming over her face.

'Yeah...those wives?' She motioned to the closet. 'Found them.'

* * *

><p>By the time he'd sprinted from the basement containing Ted's dead wives to Revello Drive, Buffy and her mom were sat on the porch. He had skidded to a halt. 'Ted!' He gulped and Buffy had looked at him in exasperation. 'He's a robot.'<p>

'Yeah, we know.' The Slayer sighed. 'He's permanently offline.'

'Oh.' Spike relaxed, feeling a bit useless as he stood in the Summers' yard. Buffy sighed again, motioning to the porch as her mom looked up to see who was there.

'Want to join us?' The Slayer offered, missing the frown on her mother's face as she gazed at Spike. The vampire took a step forward, his eyes landing on Joyce Summers and he returned the frown. The phone rang, distracting the Slayer, and she rolled her eyes. 'I'll get it.' She disappeared into the house, missing the vampire and her mother having a stare down on the porch.

'Joyce?'

Mrs Summers blinked. 'You...the guy from New York?' She shook her head lightly. 'How are you here?' Buffy reemerged from the house, still oblivious to the situation unfolding outside.

'That was Willow. Guess what? Ted is a...' she caught the stares between her mom and the vampire and her witty retort faltered. '...robot. What's going on?' Joyce frowned, turning her head towards Buffy but not taking her eyes from Spike, as if he might disappear if she looked away.

'You look the same. It's been twenty years. How?' He shuffled under her gaze and shrugged.

'How do _you_ know Spike?' Buffy asked, her face incredulous and horrified at the same time.

'So that's your name.' Joyce mumbled. 'You're exactly the same. I don't understand.' She looked to her daughter. 'This man saved me. I was still in high school and snuck out to a club.' Buffy's face was locked in an expression of shock, but Joyce didn't stop. 'Some guy, he, well, I don't really remember it, but,' she looked at Spike in wonder, 'I remember you. How have you not changed? And how do you know my daughter?'

Spike looked to Buffy, who now looked panicked. He then realised that Joyce had no idea who her daughter really was. The Slayer sighed, pinching her nose as she focused on her mom. 'He's a vampire.' Joyce frowned.

'Not this again, Buffy. I thought we'd moved past this.'

Buffy sighed again. 'I'm not crazy, Mom. Spike _is_ a vampire.' She looked at the bleached blond. 'Show her.' Spike blinked at the request, then shrugged and revealed his true face.

'Oh!' Joyce exclaimed. 'Oh, that's...so that man in the club...he was...I would have...oh!' She fainted. Buffy rushed forward and caught her before her head hit the table. Spike shook away his demon features and moved to help, only to be stopped by a hand from the Slayer.

'Don't.' She checked her mom over.

'I'm sorry. I didn't know.' He started, but Buffy refused to look at him.

'It's okay. You should go.' He nodded but didn't move just yet.

'I'm sorry.' He repeated. 'Slayer, I-'

'It's _Buffy_.' She scowled at him and he nodded again, turning and leaving her to get her mother inside.

* * *

><p>A knock at his new apartment door had Spike growling, irritated by the intrusion. He'd been reading, attempting to distract himself from everything and the interruption was no welcomed. He flung the door open, surprised to see Angel stood on the other side.<p>

'What do you want?' He ground out, almost snarling at the other vampire.

'May I come in?' The brunette asked, and Spike hesitated.

'I guess.' He sighed, shrugging and standing aside to let Angel in. The bigger vampire entered the apartment, nothing the sparsely furnished living room and the heavy curtains over the windows. There was no couch, merely a desk in the corner and a bookshelf with a few books. Spike shut the door and folded his arms, watching his former compatriot with interest. 'So. How'd you find me?'

'Willy. Not much the little weasel doesn't know.' Angel shrugged, facing Spike. 'You okay?'

'Fine.' Spike eyed him carefully. 'But you didn't come here for that.'

'Giles wants to meet you.' The other vampire had no trouble spitting out the request.

Spike narrowed his eyes. 'Why?'

'He's a Watcher. He's curious.'

'I don't like Watchers, mate. You know this.'

'He knows that, too.' Angel eyed the older vamp. 'You never said why. Beyond what you did to that one in London...' Spike cut him off.

'It's none of your business, that's why.' Angel sighed.

'Look I've done the interrogation. He's curious about us because we're souled. You're older. He just has a few questions.' He looked the elder in the eye. 'It was recorded that you died after Romania.' Spike flinched. Angel continued. 'Hell, I thought you were dead until they dumped you in that cell with me. I - I wondered what happened to you.' The sadness of his tone did not go unnoticed by Spike, who regarded him quietly. 'I went back to Darla. You were right by the way.'

'Thought so.' Spike grumbled.

'I tried to find you. After Darla kicked me out. Searched for years. Thought we could help each other but...you...you were gone.' He sounded a little lost and Spike suddenly felt guilty for abandoning the younger vamp. He looked at the vampire, his anger dissipating and he sighed.

'I couldn't cope. Seeing you and everything you'd done.' Spike admitted. 'I could have stopped it at the start. I know it sounds stupid...'

'No it doesn't.' Angel interrupted. 'I...' he paused, worried of the reaction to what he was going to confess. '...I staked Drusilla for the same reason.' Spike's expression didn't change. He'd cared for Drusilla but it was somewhat of a relief that she wasn't running around out there. 'You were right...about Lawson.' Spike flinched then, moving away. 'Spike, just meet with Giles. He's not a bad man.'

'I don't like Watchers.' The blond repeated gruffly. Angel nodded.

'I know. But Giles is okay. He's not like other Watchers. Aside from being British and drinking tea.'

Spike didn't reply. He turned away, contemplating Angel's request for a few moments, wondering what exactly the Watcher wanted to know. He surmised that it probably couldn't do any harm, provided the Watcher kept his gob shut to anyone else about it. He turned back to Angel.

'Fine. Five. Tomorrow.'

Angel frowned. 'Five. But sunset isn't until...' Spike leveled him with a glare. 'Okay. I'll tell him.'

'Make sure he knows - I don't. Like. Watchers.'

* * *

><p>When he entered the school library the next night, he was not happy to find the Slayer there. 'Oh no. I am <em>not<em>doing this with her here.' Buffy wrinkled her nose at him, ignoring her Watcher as he emerged from the office to find the Slayer and Vampire glaring at each other.

'You said you don't like Watchers. How do I know you're not going to have yourself a Giles buffet?'

Spike grimaced. 'Either she goes or I do.' Giles looked between the two.

'Buffy-'

'What?' She exclaimed, staring at her Watcher with her mouth open. 'Giles, no!' The librarian pinched the bridge of his nose. 'You cannot be serious!'

'I'm not going to hurt him, Slayer.' Spike growled, and she gave him a look that would freeze lava.

'It's Buffy. Buff-_eeee_. Can you not get that through your thick skull?'

'Buffy, go and patrol. I will be fine.' She made to argue, then shut her mouth and scowled, marching up to Spike, toe to toe with the vampire. She was so close he could smell the vanilla scent of the soap she used, and those fire-filled hazel eyes turned on him with a promise of death.

'Touch him and wake up on fire.' She hissed, before striding from the room, letting the door swing shut behind her. Spike watched her leave with wide eyes, before turning to Giles with a smirk on his face.

'Spirited, ain't she?'

'Hmmm. She is.' Giles motioned to his office. 'Thank you for coming, Spike. Can I offer you a tea?'

'Got any whiskey?' The Watcher smiled, leading the way into the small side room. The vampire followed after.

'I've got some Glenfiddich stashed away.'

Spike grinned. 'Perfect.' He took a seat in the office as Giles pulled two glasses and a green bottle from the cupboard hidden under the desk. He poured two fingers of the golden liquid into each glass and passed one to Spike. 'Angel said you were curious about me. About what exactly?' Spike asked, sipping the whiskey and savouring the burn.

'It's not often one has the chance to converse with a notorious vampire. Let alone one with soul. And certainly not two. Angel tells me you are older than him?'

'Yeah. I'm three hundred and...odd. Don't really keep track beyond the centuries.'

'No. I suppose it is a long time.' Giles mused, pulling a notebook from the desk drawer. He took the seat opposite the blond vampire. 'Angel says you are not fond of giving intimate details.'

'Depends on what you mean by intimate, mate.' Spike sipped at the whiskey again, smirking as the Watcher blushed.

'Yes well, er, let's start with the basics. You were turned in 1680 yes?'

'Correct.' Spike nodded, wondering himself how much to tell the Watcher. He knew this would all end up in a diary eventually, but he doubted anyone beyond a stuffy tweed wearing Brit would read it. Maybe it was safe to...divulge a little. Let the Watcher know he could be trusted. Rupert Giles didn't seem like the typical stiff upper types he'd met and/or tortured in the past.

'And you were cursed in 1898? The record keeping becomes sketchy after this. Where did you go?'

Spike pursed his lips. 'Scotland. Was there for ten years, give or take.'

'What did you do there?' Giles was scribbling furiously now.

'Went crazy mostly.' Spike sat forward. 'I was a two hundred year old monster with the blood of thousands on my hands, suddenly feeling guilty for every dirty little thing I'd ever done. Wasn't exactly a picnic now.' He sat back again, swirling the whiskey around the glass. 'But Angel's already told you this.'

Giles paled a little. 'Er, yes. Not in those exact words. I can imagine it was...tough.'

'You can't imagine anything.' Spike said lowly, finishing the whiskey. Giles handed him the bottle and Spike grinned, liking him better already.

'Yes. Quite.' The librarian cleared his throat. 'Where did you go after Scotland?'

'Spent sixty years in the Big Apple.'

Giles frowned. 'Sixty years?'

'Yeah.'

The Watcher was bemused by this information. Vampires rarely stayed anywhere for a long time, and sixty years was a _long_ time. 'What did you do there?'

The vampire shrugged. 'Killed demons. Saved the helpless. Drank a lot. Bit of poker here and there.'

'This is where you rescued Joyce?' Giles queried and Spike chuckled.

Ah. Slayer told you about that did she?'

Giles pulled his glasses off, and proceeded to clean them. 'No, er, Joyce, Mrs Summers - she called me regarding Buffy. She wanted to know about her calling, and she mentioned you. Seeing you was the, er, catalyst for letting the metaphorical cat out of the bag yes?'

Spike nodded, a little guilt on his part for that. 'I didn't know she...didn't know. But yeah. Small world and all that.'

'More than you think. There was Slayer in New York in 1977. Reported to her Watcher, Bernard Crowley, that she'd heard about a vampire, saving innocents and fighting his own kind. She met you. Her name was Nikki. Shortly after you had met, it was recorded that there was rise in demon activity in the city.' Giles looked at his guest. 'The reported heroics stopped.'

'I'm not a hero.' Spike mumbled into his glass. 'Just a vamp trying to clean off the blood.'

'That in itself is admirable. But why did you even start fighting evil? And why leave after meeting Nikki?'

Spike glowered. 'Figured it was better than wallowing in misery.' He paused. 'And I don't mix with Slayers.'

'Shocking since you've killed so many.' Giles commented bluntly and Spike growled. The librarian backtracked. 'My apologies. That was...not tactful.'

'No it wasn't.'

'But if you don't like associating with Slayers, why are you here now?' Giles frowned. 'You have to admit it is a tad contradictory.'

'Got no choice. Mission's a mission.'

'Buffy is your mission?' Giles asked, concerned.

'Sorta. Got told the Slayer is special. So I was sent to help. Angel ain't cutting it, way I'm told.'

'How so?' Giles had returned to his notes, and Spike watched the pen move as he spoke, mesmerised by the action.

'She was killed.' Spike pointed out.

'Ah. Yes.' Giles voice was sorrowful and he thought for a second, the pen stilling on the paper. 'Do you mind...why don't you like Watchers? I've read of what you did to Thomas Wyndham. His diaries were not intact, so we never discovered the reasons, or the whereabouts of Catherine Callan. You were...responsible, yes?' Giles waited. When he asked Angel about his past, he had spoken of himself as a separate entity. He was curious to see how Spike referred to the time before his soul.

'Yes I was.' Spike's voice was choked and tight, but did not imitate Angel in claiming a different name. Giles was torn between taking notes and watching the emotions on the vampire's face.

'We never knew what happened to Catherine. Except that you were there and assumed the blame.' Giles pressed. 'Could you tell me?'

Spike was quiet for a few moments, sipping at the strong liquor. 'I never wanted to see her dead.' He muttered and Giles barely caught the admission. When he did, his eyes went wide.

'But...you were soulless.'

'I was still a person.' Spike reasoned. 'It's not always black and white. She saw that. Her _Watcher_,' he spat the title, 'did not.'

'Thomas Wyndham is the reason you do not like Watchers.' Giles surmised.

'He put a bolt in her chest. It was meant for me.' Spike snarled. _Shut up. Stop talking. It's been too long._ 'I tried...I tried to save her but...'

'You turned her.' Giles stated, no emotion in his voice, and too much on the vampire's face. Spike nodded, his jaw clenching around the pain in his chest.

'She wasn't the same. Not like I was. I was still me...I had to...' he stopped talking and the glass in his hand cracked and smashed under the duress of his fist. Glass embedded in his flesh and tinkled to the floor, followed by drops of crimson on the tiled floor. Spike welcomed the pain. Blood dripped down his skin as he breathed deep. Giles handed him a handkerchief.

'I'm sorry. I did not mean to bring up painful memories.'

Spike took the hanky and pulled the glass from his hand, shaking his head. 'I never spoke to anyone about it. Not even Darla. A soulless vampire in love with a Slayer. It was wrong. Cath knew it. I knew it. We didn't care. But then she...she...and I went beserk. I shut down. Stopped caring.' He looked at Giles. 'I don't mix with Slayers. I can't get anyone else hurt because I care about them.' Giles was taken aback by the statement, by the depth of emotion in the vampire's stormy blue eyes. So much so that when someone called his name, he jumped.

'Giles?!' Willow entered the office and gasped, her eyes going straight to the injured vampire's hand. 'Oh! Are you alright?' She moved over, looking at the injury. Spike made to pull away but Willow scowled. 'Don't be a baby. Giles, do you have a first aid kit?'

'I'm a vampire, Red. Don't fret.' He hissed as she pulled a chunk of glass free.

'Shut up. I got told you're helping is. Well help goes both ways, buddy.'

Giles passed her the first aid kit. The vampire stayed still, patiently watching her dress the wounds. It would be healed by morning, but he wouldn't say anything. When she'd finished, he mumbled his thanks and looked to the Watcher.

'Interviews over.' He paused. 'For now.' Giles nodded, not willing to argue but pleased he'd made some headway in figuring out what made the blond vampire tick. He had plenty to theorise on for the evening.

The vampire disappeared from sight and Willow looked to Giles with curiosity.

'Was he crying?'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>I know this was a pretty action light chapter. I just felt like Spike needs to do some bonding. And this was a stepping stone to some much more serious angst next chapter. Things may be happening that would not seem like a good idea soon, but please, it's all relevant to the story line, so bear with me.<p> 


	10. Personality Abundance

Story Notes: **Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Notes:** I apologise in advance. Also, Bangel warning.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Personality Abundance<strong>

* * *

><p>Tuesday nights, by definition, were a busy night for demon activity on the Hellmouth. Unless you were antsy after dredging up old wounds, and <em>needed<em> something kill. Then, like Spike had, you find yourself sat at a empty table in an almost empty Bronze, listening to dire music and drinking worse beer.

Although the blooming onion thing had its merits.

After leaving the school just after sunset, he'd cut through a cemetery and had found absolutely nothing to kill. He'd given up about an hour in and retreated to the Bronze. The night was dragging. It hadn't even gotten to eleven o'clock and he was contemplating sleep again.

'So I guess I should say thanks.'

The voice came from behind him and Spike turned to see the boy, Xander, if he remembered correctly, standing uncomfortably, his eyes looking anywhere but at the vampire.

'For your help the other night.'

'Didn't do anything really.' Spike shrugged and turned back to his beer. The boy promptly took the free seat next to him and Spike heavily. No peace to be found anywhere. If he went home, chances are someone would knock at the door.

'I'm not a fan of vampires.' The boy started and Spike waited for the big sob story to accompany the statement. 'My best friend, Jesse, he was turned. I had to stake him.'

Spike regarded the whelp. 'That's rough.'

Xander continued as if he hadn't spoken. 'He was...a monster. I'd known him all my life and when he changed, he wasn't Jesse anymore.'

'Sometimes happens. Like that.' Spike said, a pang of _something_ shooting through his dead heart.

'So I don't get this soul thing.' The boy said, his gaze now on the vampire. 'I don't really like Angel...he's so...'

'Brooding? Hulking? Miserable?' Spike offered some adjective. Xander nodded.

'Does the soul void the personality?'

'I don't think he had one in the first place.' Spike deadpanned and Xander chuckled.

'You're older than him, right?'

'By a few decades.'

'Ever beat him up?' The boy asked, somewhat wistfully. The vampire barked a laugh and supped his beer. Xander motioned to the empty pool table on the other side of the stairs. 'You play?'

Spike followed his gesture and smiled a little. 'Yeah. Yeah, I play.'

Half an hour later, they were on their second game. As it turned out, Xander was a dab hand at pool and had almost won the first game. They'd taken to banter and Spike had rehashed a few embarrassing tales to the boy.

'So this demon hunter, Holtz, he's got Angelus in this net and he's doing the good guy speech. Darla gets her boy free and they scarper, only for a sink hole to open and Angelus lands face first in a cesspit.' Xander laughed hard. 'Took weeks for him to stop stinking.' Spike chuckled. He sighed as Xander lined up his shot. 'So you've known the Slayer since she came to town, yeah?' The boy tensed and his heart rate quickened. Spike immediately saw why Xander hated Angel so much.

'Buffy? Yeah. Kinda threw myself in the deep end with the slayer stuff. Wouldn't change it though.'

'Why not? Not exactly without risk. For you or Red.'

'Red?' Xander queried, then got the reference. 'Willow. Right. Gotcha. Nah, being a Scooby - it's got meaning. I have a good thing I do. Even if I just get the donuts.'

'Scooby?' Spike asked, arching an eyebrow.

'Like Scooby-Doo.'

'The cartoon dog with a stoner friend?' The vampire clarified and Xander nodded.

'I came up with it.' He said proudly. 'Just me, Buffy and Willow. And Giles. I guess, occasionally Cordy.' His heart rate went up again as Spike observed him. 'And now Oz, I suppose.'

'Oz?' Spike had met the Watcher and the cheerleader, but he'd not heard of this one.

'Yeah, he's erm...he's a guitarist. He's Willow's friend mostly.' The tone in the boy's voice indicated that he was very protective of the girls. Something Spike hoped would make his job a little easier. He didn't want to get close, but it had been a long time since he'd spoken at such length with a person, another guy, that wasn't a demon he was pummeling.

Spike sank three balls and then missed one. He stepped back and gestured for Xander to take his shot.

'So why are you here? I thought we had our quota on souled vamps.' Spike grimaced.

_Here we go_. 'Dunno, mate. Powers wanted me here. So here I am.'

'But you're not like Angel?' Spike snorted and the boy continued. 'I mean, him and Buffy, it's...' Spike cut him off.

'I'm not here for that.' He growled. 'For one, she's a Slayer. For another, she's sixteen.'

'She's seventeen next week.' Xander clarified, standing back from the table and then frowning as he realised how irrelevant his comment was.

'No difference. She's still a kid.' Spike glowered. 'Angelus always did like 'em young.' The boy didn't catch his words and the vampire stepped up to take another shot.

'That's good then.' Xander looked at him. 'You're okay for a vampire.'

'Touched.' Spike pretended to tip his cap. 'Whelp.'

* * *

><p>The sound of a fight drew her to Restfield quickly, pulling her from her thoughts about her upcoming birthday. Vaulting over a grave marker brought her skidding to a halt as she saw Spike deftly defending himself against two opponents - one skinny vamp and an overweight bearded one. Who smelt worse out of the two - Buffy wasn't sure.<p>

She relaxed as she saw Spike had it under control and contented herself with watching him fight. He was graceful, brutal with his blows and boy was he ever fast. He gave no hint he knew she was there, although skinny noticed her. Before he could turn for her through, Spike had reduced him to dust and was concentrating his remaining attack on Fatty. He didn't speak when he fought and Buffy found herself mesmerised by his moves. All too soon, Fatty was dust and Buffy was looking at a bemused Spike.

'Like what you see Slayer?'

She stumbled over her words, before crossing her arms and huffing. 'Would it kill you to use my name?'

'Might do, Slayer.' Spike winked and turn in a whirl of leather. Buffy followed, her indignation strong.

'You are so infuriating.'

'Part of my charm, Slayer.' He didn't look back as he spoke.

'You have no charm, vampire.'

'Touchy.' Spike chuckled and Buffy glared, grabbing a rock and throwing it at him. It hit him in the back of the head and he fell forward, hitting the floor. He rolled over and scowled at her, rubbing his head. 'What the hell was that for, Slayer?'

'Argh!' Buffy screeched. 'You are _so_ irritating! I hate you!'

'You don't know me.' Spike grumbled, getting to his feet.

'I don't _want_ to know you.' She countered. 'You're a jerk.'

'Whatever, Slayer.'

Buffy nearly growled in frustration as he walked away. 'It's BUFFY!' She yelled.

* * *

><p>She'd almost taken the library door off when she had gone to report to Giles the next day. It was late in the school day when she'd gotten around to it, but she'd spent the entire day seething about the blond vampire currently hindering her every patrol. It didn't help Xander had mentioned he'd seen him at the Bronze the night before and they'd spent a couple hours shooting pool and bonding like guys do.<p>

Turned out, Xander _liked_ the stupid Brit vamp.

She'd depended on Xander's vamp-hate. He despised Angel, Buffy knew that. But no, he had to go and like the Sex Pistols reject from Hell. Even Willow had stood up for him, insinuating that maybe _she'd_ hurt his feelings.

Not like the rock she'd thrown would have hurt his non-existent brain.

Stupid vampire.

'Giles?' She called as she checked she hadn't broken the door. Her Watcher didn't reply, so she pouted a little and moved towards the office, wondering if he'd stepped out for a second. As she turned the corner and saw the desk with papers and books all over it, and demon books by the look of it, she assumed he'd been up all night on a demon research issue. Stepping closer, she nosed over his notes, wondering if it was something she needed to be concerned about.

The word "Spike" practically jumped off of the page at her and she frowned, pulling a page from the notes. She'd assumed his meeting with Spike had been a bust, but she had been too angry with the vampire and his irritating ways to remember to question him last night. Willow had mentioned seeing him on the way out but nothing else. So what had they talked about?

Her eyes scanned the document, noting his whereabouts after the soul, and as she read further down, her eyes widened, and she gasped a little. She was so engrossed in Giles' notes and theorums that she jumped when she heard the library door swing shut. She turned, rushing out of the office to see Giles with a bagel hanging out of his mouth.

'Hey Giles.' She smiled brightly, giving an air of indifference. He could never tell when she was lying anyway. 'I was looking for you.'

The Brit pulled the bagel from his mouth and swallowed quickly, smiling back. 'Sorry, Buffy, I stepped out for a snack. Was there something the matter?'

She shook her head. 'Nope, nope. Dead patrol. Just checking in. Off to double math now.' She skipped past him as he eyed her strangely. 'See ya!' The librarian shrugged and moved to the counter, muttering "_Americans"_ before shoving the bagel back in his mouth.

Buffy hadn't been able to concentrate after what she had learned. She'd only met Spike a handful of times and whilst she could definitely admit he was skilled and strong and aesthetically pleasing, he was also obnoxious, rude, irritating and a whole bunch of other negative adjectives. Okay, he'd made telling her mom about the slaying easier, but her mom hadn't stopped yapping about him since. And she hated that he _never_ used her name. She wasn't just a damn slayer. She was _Buffy_ too and he made a point of ignoring it.

But then, from what she had just read, the fourth Slayer he had reportedly killed wasn't what it appeared. Giles had written that it seemed the vampire had loved the girl. Without a soul.

How was that possible?

She'd read the files and books. Vampires didn't have emotions. So how could he love someone? Anyone? Let alone a Slayer? She needed answers.

And there was only one place to get them.

* * *

><p>Finding out Spike's address from Willy was easy, even if she felt a little dirty even setting foot in the Alibi Room. She'd headed straight for the Skinner Street apartments without preamble and had stood in front of the entrance, eyeing the well appointed apartment block that made her demon senses go haywire. Demons lived here. Maybe not bad demons, but neck tinglies didn't know the difference. She'd had to force herself to walk up the stairs and locate his apartment. And then she'd just stood, fist raised, ready to knock...<p>

Lacking the courage.

She had been really mean to him. Stood to rights that he wouldn't want to answer her questions or tell her anything about it.

But before she could change her mind, the door opened and Spike stood, topless, bathed in the evening sun pouring in through the window. He only had a towel around his waist and water dripped down his chest, over his abs and disappeared into...

Eyes up, Buffy.

She gulped, her throat suddenly dry. Yeah. He was definitely aesthetically pleasing. She licked her lips without thinking, her eyes travelling over him as her brain shorted out and could think nothing but _shower - Spike - yum._

'What do you want?' He barked, less than pleased to see her, yet well aware of the reaction he was causing. But it angered him more if anything.

'I...er...wait...' She frowned. 'How are you not on fire?' He glanced around and grimaced. He'd forgotten to shut the curtains. But then, he hadn't been expecting _company._

'I'm special.' He grunted. Buffy raised an eyebrow.

'Oh fine, don't tell me.' She pushed past him into the apartment, and he pushed the door shut.

'Please. Come in.' He muttered sarcastically. Buffy folded her arms and looked at him expectantly. 'What can I do you for, Slayer?'

'Who's Catherine?' She blurted out and he stopped, all emotion draining from his face and he struggled to stay upright.

'She...She...I...What did the Watcher tell you?' Spike asked, his voice low and careful.

'He didn't tell me anything.' Buffy defended her Watcher. 'I snooped. By accident.' She waited for an answer and Spike sighed heavily. 'I'm not leaving until I know, Spike.'

He nodded. 'Fine. Just lemme put some clothes on luv.'

'My _name_ is _Buffy._' He didn't reply as he moved into the bedroom, reemerging a few seconds later with jeans and a black t-shirt on. He motioned to his sofa and she sat. 'Angel said you didn't have a sofa.'

'We're back on "Angel said" huh? I got it delivered this morning.' He studied her face as she looked anywhere but him.

'It's nice.'

'You didn't come here to discuss my furniture. You have questions.'

'Yeah.' Buffy took a breath and looked at him. 'I read about you - soulless you. You were brutal. Four Slayers. Then I find Giles' notes and bam! Soulless you _loved_ a Slayer? I just - I don't understand. Vampires aren't people. You can't love without a soul.'

'Some of us are different.' He shrugged. 'We can love. Maybe not wisely but well.'

'But how? Should I interview every vampire I meet? Just in case?'

He laughed at her and she scowled. 'No, pet.' He smiled softly. 'I reckon I was always odd. Funnily enough, Cath told me so. Several times.'

'Why did you kill her if you loved her?' Buffy asked softly, watching him wilt, the memories obviously still hard even over a century later.

'I was trying to save her. Her Watcher had found us together and he wasn't best too pleased. He tried to shoot me with a crossbow and...and Cath stepped in front of it. I tried to save her...' The emotions playing across his face almost rendered her heart in two. She could see him now, not the irritating vampire who'd been stepping on her toes, but the man who'd been through hell and back and landed in Sunnydale.

'The notes said you tried to turn her and it didn't work.' Buffy stated quietly. He nodded.

'She was angry. I'd damned her. There was a fight and...I killed her. Again.' His voice broke on the last word and Buffy restrained herself from the urge to hug him. He spoke again, his voice soft but the tone broken. 'I loved her. I went mad after that. Let the demon take over.' He looked up, blue eyes full of pain. 'That's why I cannot get close to you, or your friends Buffy.' Her name slipped from his lips like silk. 'I'll only get you hurt.'

She understood now. How different he was. And she felt uncomfortable under his blue gaze. 'I-I should go. I'm sorry, Spike. I didn't mean to upset you.'

He smiled softly. 'Must be something about you Sunnydale lot. Got me spilling my guts.' She stood, smiling gently as she headed for the door. Before she left she held out a hand.

'Friends yeah?' He hesitated. 'Don't worry, Spike. You won't get me hurt.' He nodded warily and grasped her hand. They shook for a second and then she left him. He contemplated the closed door of his apartment and then turned to the kitchen.

No one could blame him for drinking too much tonight.

* * *

><p>Buffy wandered through Sunnydale, her thoughts jumbled. Spike had loved that Slayer, there was no doubt. She would have done the same in his shoes. Her thought automatically carried her to Angel and she felt the urge to see him, tell him how much he mattered to her.<p>

She headed to his apartment, surprising him. He was pleased to see her though and gathered her into his embrace.

'Angel...' she whispered. 'I love you. I know I shouldn't, but I do.'

He pulled back a little and stared at her in shock and awe. 'God, Buffy. I love you too. So much.' His lips descended to hers and they embraced tightly, the world forgotten...

* * *

><p>Spike awoke abruptly, falling off the sofa and knocking the bottle of whiskey next to him onto the floor. A sharp pain burst in his chest and he screamed, clawing chunks from the carpet.<p>

The pain went through him like fire, ebbing away to embers as he breathed deep. He pressed into the carpet, waiting for the pain to recede.

His demon screamed.

His soul was gone.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>I know! I'm sorry. I know I stepped the timeline up a couple of days, but this...this was just the flow. How it went. I guess things get interesting from here on out...<p> 


	11. Similar But Not The Same

Story Notes: **Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Notes:** I was quite nervous about the last chapter! But I'm glad you all liked it. The wonderful reviews were very much appreciated! I apologise for leaving you hanging this week, life has been a bit hectic.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Similar But Not The Same<strong>

* * *

><p>When he woke up, the room was dark. He was face down on the floor, whiskey seeping into the damaged carpet by his head. The scent seeped into his consciousness and he realised how hungry he was. His stomach growled and his demon rallied against his...<p>

No.

That wasn't...

He couldn't feel it. His soul was gone. That little spark inside that had ruled him for a century...no longer there. Nothing burnt him on the inside any longer.

His demon cried in triumph but Spike was confused. He _knew_ the soul was gone. He felt no remorse at the thought of heading out and taking his fill of the populace.

Except...it would still hurt.

He could be a demon again. He could kill, rip, destroy.

But he had made a promise a long time ago.

_To a dead girl!_ The demon roared.

_Doesn't matter. _He pull himself up. _A promise is a promise._

_You're a demon!_

_NO. Not JUST a demon. I'm Spike. And if I break my promise, I'm not Spike anymore._

_She's DEAD._

_That doesn't stop me being a good man._

He stood, gaining his bearings, dizzy from his internal argument. It was early, not quite dawn. And he was very hungry. The demon continued to fight, but he held fast. He had three hundred years of experience to control the beast. It was no challenge for him.

He didn't know how long he'd been out. May have only been a couple of hours. The real question was what had happened. He needed answers. And he knew the best place to start.

Grabbing his coat and stalking out the door, he headed downtown. As he raised his hand to knock on the door, he knew that Angel was not there. With no answer confirming his suspicion, he prepared to leave, but the heartbeat drawing closer to the other side of the door and the feeling telling him the Slayer was nearby, gave him pause. He waited, and the door clicked, revealing a sleep and disheveled Slayer, still in the clothes she'd been wearing when she had left his apartment last night. Angel's scent clung heavily to her as well as the scent of...

Ugh.

'You know where Angel is?' He demanded and Buffy blinked.

'No...I...uh, I woke up alone?'

'Figures.' He snorted and turned away.

'Do you know where he is?' She asked, a note of fear in her voice.

'Wouldn't be asking you if I did.'

'Oh. I guess. Where are you going?' She questioned, wrapping her arms around herself.

'To see your Watcher.' He turned back, resting blue eyes on her. She nodded.

'He'll be at home by now. It's 5am.' Problem. He didn't know the Watchers home address. 'What's happened?' She asked, still slightly dozy from sleep.

'Just need to speak to him.' Buffy yawned, and Spike found it adorable.

_No. You don't. Stop it._

'Okay.' She shook herself. 'I'll show you.' She grabbed her jacket and shut the door. She was not really with it yet, and so they walked in silence towards Giles' flat. 'So you don't know where he went?' Buffy asked, every inch the vulnerable teen. Spike shook his head. He wasn't sharing his suspicions with her. Not yet. 'Okay.' She whispered dejectedly.

It didn't take long to get an answer from Giles. He was already dressed and halfway through his breakfast. He eyed them curiously as he opened the door and Buffy smiled softly. 'Hey Giles.'

'Buffy. And Spike? Not trouble I hope.' He stood aside and Buffy walked in. Spike hesitated. _It would be so easy. Come on. Just let go._ 'I do apologise Spike,' Giles smiled. 'Please co-'

'Don't.' Spike growled. 'And keep her in there. Something's happened.' Both humans eyed him curiously. Spike sighed. 'I woke up this morning...without my soul.' Giles baulked and Buffy gasped softly, pulling her stake from its usual waistband hiding places. Spike held up his hand. 'White flag here. I just want to know what happened.'

'You can kill again, what does it matter?' Buffy spat.

'I could kill before, you silly bint.' Spike snapped back. 'Just decided not to. I can make that decision again. You're alive aren't you?' She faltered a little. 'Thing is...Angelus won't make that choice. Our curse was linked, Slayer. Means he may not be your boyfriend anymore.' The Slayer went pale. Giles was even paler.

'Good lord.'

'We need to find him.' Buffy made to leave, but Spike raised a hand.

'No. Stay here. Go to school when it's light. I will look for him.' The vampire looked to Giles. 'Do not let her out.'

'You can't tell me what to do!' Buffy almost shouted. Spike vamped out.

'Just listen, girl. I am older than Angelus. You don't stand a chance against him. You're too close.'

'Too close? How dare you?' Buffy was almost red in the face. Spike snarled.

'Oh I dare plenty. Stay there. Let me take care of it.' And he was gone. Buffy looked to Giles.

'Can we trust him?' She asked. 'He's soulless.'

'I do not know.' Giles muttered, shutting the door.

* * *

><p>It didn't take long to track Angelus down. He started back at the subterranean apartment the brooding hulk resided in, finding the street walker in the alley behind the building, throat ripped out. The trail of bodies was easy to follow after that. He'd found five, all women, by the time he reached Crawford Street and heard the screams. It was almost daylight, so at least he could make sure where the other vampire was holed up for the day.<p>

He found Angelus in an abandoned mansion on the barely populated street. It was grand and pompous, just the sort of place he'd like. The place reeked of blood, and another boy - male, this time - was slumped in the foyer, throat a bloody mess. There was blood around the corpses mouth. Spike sighed. Angelus had always liked minions.

A girl screamed and Spike moved quickly towards the sound, finding Angelus in the main room, a barely clothed girl, no older than the Slayer, chained to the fireplace. She was badly injured and the scent of blood was driving Spike mad. His demon begged just for a taste, and he vamped out.

'Spike!' Angelus greeted, stepping into view, his hand trailing down the girl's body. She whimpered, her eyes rolling to Spike, pleading for help.

'Angelus.' Spike tipped his head at the other. The brunette laughed.

'Good to be free, ay?' Oh god. The hulking prat was slipping back into that godawful accent.

'Yeah. Ain't it grand?' Spike's eyes remained onto the girl, and Angelus grinned.

'Want a go? She's a little used but still good.'

Spike tried to repress a shudder. He'd never enjoyed that particular perversion. Angelus, however, reveled in it.

'How'd it happen?' The brunette queried.

'What's that?' Spike clarified and Angelus moved away from the girl. She was sobbing softly. Spike paid her no mind.

'How'd you lose it? I mean, I left her sleeping. She couldn't have had time to see to you too.' He leered and Spike felt anger well up inside, and he quickly reigned it in. Angelus inhaled. 'She was a sweet thing. Real...willing.'

'So why didn't you kill her?' The blond asked, raising an eyebrow. The younger vampire laughed.

'Thought that was your gig?' He scoffed, no noticing Spike flinch. 'Where's the fun in killing a sleeping Slayer?' He dropped his voice conspiratorially. 'Gotta have some fun after all.' He narrowed his eyes. 'You've seen her though. And she's still alive? Did the soul stick?' He tensed, anticipating a fight. Spike laughed. He wouldn't fight Angelus. He was nearly in top shape and Angelus had just gorged himself on fresh human blood after a century of self-flagellation. This was not the time.

'What's so funny?' The dark vampire asked.

'Nothing.' Spike continued chuckling. Angelus frowned.

'You sticking around then?' Angelus asked, and Spike sighed.

'No, mate.'

'Oh.' Angelus seemed dejected. Then he brightened. 'Wanna share before you go?' He motioned to the girl, who cried harder. Spike didn't do sloppy seconds and Angelus knew it.

'See ya 'round, Angelus.' The girl cried out for help as Angelus neared, and as Spike stepped out into the dawn, she stopped crying altogether.

* * *

><p>Both Buffy and Giles looked up as the library doors opened and Xander trotted in, Willow on his heels. Upon seeing the twin looks on the Slayer and Watcher's faces, the boy skidded to a halt. Willow almost crashed into him. 'Whoa. Who died?'<p>

'No one.' Buffy muttered. 'Yet.'

'Do you know where Cordelia is Xander?' Giles asked.

'Why would I know that?' The teen blustered, as Willow and Buffy shared a knowing look. 'I have no reason to know that!'

Giles sighed. 'We may have a situation.' He pulled his glasses off, avoiding eye contact with any of them. 'Angel may have...turned.'

'But...he's already a vampire.' Xander frowned.

'He's gone bad.' Buffy clarified.

'Oh. That's not good.' Willow swallowed, paling. 'What about Spike?'

'He's the one that alerted us. It seems Spike has lost his soul and he believes them to be linked.'

'I don't believe.' The British vampire's voice came from the stacks. He emerged into the room slowly, aware that Buffy had drawn her stake, her distrust evident, and if he was honest, painful. 'We were cursed at the same moment. Stands to reason when he lost his, mine followed.'

'Why do you think Angel lost his first?' Buffy asked, although her gut and her broken heart told her when and how her boyfriend had lost his soul. Spike had clearly guessed too, from the look he was giving her.

'So Angelus has returned?' Giles asked, and Spike nodded. 'You saw him?' Another nod.

'Has he killed?' Buffy asked quietly. Spike nodded slowly and the Slayer faltered. 'Have you?' She held her breath and all eyes moved to the blond vampire. He shook his head.

'Why not?' Xander blurted out. 'You can now.'

'As I said to your Slayer this morning, I could kill before. Having a soul doesn't automatically make you good. I chose to be a good man then and I can choose now.'

'You're not technically a man.' Buffy scowled. Spike ignored her. He could bite, rise to her baiting and they'd fight - but she was a heart broken teen lashing out and they had enough problems on their plates right now.

'Look.' He settled his gaze on the Watcher. 'You don't have to trust me. I'm not surprised. But Angelus is a nasty piece of work. He has no humanity and he will come after all of you. He hates the human condition and you-' his eyes slid to Buffy '-You made him feel human.'

'Are you going to kill him?' Willow squeaked.

'If I have to.' He nodded.

'No.' Buffy breathed.

'Buffy!' Xander exclaimed. 'He's not Angel anymore!'

'Spike won't kill him. It's my job. I'm the Slayer.' Her face was set in stone and her tone brokered no argument. Spike merely watched, seeing her shut down. Much as he had once.

Giles cleared his throat. 'I suggest we are all careful for now.'

'Had he got invites to your houses?' Spike queried. Willow nodded; Buffy didn't need to reply. Of course Angel had been in her house. The vampire grimaced, looking at Giles. 'Giles, in the compendium verba, there should be a disinvite spell.'

'Yes, I think I know the one. I'm sure Ms Calendar can help.'

'Can I?' Willow asked, excitedly. Giles smiled and nodded. Spike looked over to Buffy, drawing closer to her. She tensed and he raised an eyebrow.

'Don't blame yourself. There's enough weight on your shoulders.'

She didn't have time to reply.

He was gone.

* * *

><p>It was her seventeenth birthday.<p>

And she was miserable.

Angel was gone and in his place was a twisted psychopath who had been leaving bodies all over Sunnydale for days. Some of them she'd known from school, others randomly picked. He favoured blondes it seemed. And the things he'd done to them...

No, don't go there.

She'd not seen him. Despite looking for him, she hadn't seen him once. She'd seen Spike, who unfairly, remained the same, even without his soul. He'd told her where Angelus was, but all she had found was more bodies.

It had come about that Ms Calendar had known about the curse and was supposed to watch Angel. The discovery of her dead uncle and the words _"Was it good for you too"_ splashed across the wall in the man's blood had sent her spiralling. So she'd shut herself away and despite her mother's pleas, she refused to participate. Phone calls from Willow and Xander went unanswered. She knew she was worrying them, but all she wanted was to cry.

A killer was wearing the face of the man she loved and she didn't know if she could kill him. She didn't know if she wanted him dead.

Even whilst the bodies piled up.

A knock at the window of her bedroom distracted her and she looked over, terrified yet hopeful that she would see Angel.

But it was Spike.

Not so happy to see him.

She opened the window, careful not to get too close. He didn't have an invite but she wasn't taking any more chances with vampires.

'You okay?' He asked gently and she scowled.

'What do you care?' He bristled but controlled his temper.

'Watcher was concerned.'

'You stay away from him.' Buffy ordered. 'You can't be trusted. Everything was fine till you showed up.' His tightly reigned temper escaped.

'Don't pin this on me Slayer. I'm not the one who spread my dimpled knees-' He was cut off by her fist in his face. He fell backwards, rolling down the roof to land on the lawn with a thump.

Apparently her temper wasn't so controlled either.

Buffy followed his momentum, anger drawing her out into the open. 'Why? Why are _you_ the same?' She cried, kicking him in the ribs before he could gain his footing. 'Why isn't he? Why did I have to lose him?' She punctuated each word with another kick or punch, sobs breaking through her words. Spike didn't retaliate, merely deflecting her blows. 'Why doesn't he love me?' She faltered and collapsed, just in time to be caught by the vampire she'd been wailing on. She shuddered with the force of her tears. 'Why are you the same?' She whispered, her tone completely broken.

He didn't want to be here. He was getting too close. His demon wanted her blood - but the gentleman in him wanted to stop her tears. 'I don't know, pet. I was never quite right.'

'He said you were strange for a vampire. And you loved...that other girl.' He didn't reply, instead picking her up from the dewy grass. He carried her towards the door of her house and opened it, placing her on her feet. She moved inside the safety of the threshold and turned to face him, her eyes swollen and red with her tears.

'Please, don't...' She started and he waited for her to finish. 'Please don't kill him. I have to try and get him back.'

'And if you can't?' He ventured, and she sighed, her bottom lip wobbling.

'Then it's my job to finish it. I'm the Slayer.'

And she shut the door.

* * *

><p>Buffy stared at the book on the library table, Angel's picture staring out at her. <em>The One With The Angelic Face<em>_. _Her eyes were unfocused, reading the same word over and over again. She couldn't take it in, couldn't understand how the vampire who had done these despicable and horrific things was the same Angel she knew.

'He'll come after you, particularly.' Giles said quietly from behind her. He'd advised her to study the vampire, to prepare herself for the unspeakable evil he was capable of. Spike had also warned him of the level of danger Angelus posed. Buffy didn't look up as he spoke. 'His profile...as Spike said, he's likely to strike out at the things that made him the most human.'

'You must be so disappointed in me.' She whispered, shutting the book. Giles shook his head.

'No. No, no, I'm not.'

'This is all my fault.' Buffy's voice broke a little. Giles placed a hand on her shoulder, smiling gently.

'I don't believe it is. Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you that you acted rashly? You did. And I can.' He sighed. 'I know that you loved him. And, he, he's proven more than once that he loved you. You couldn't have known what would happen. The coming months, are going to be hard, I suspect on all of us. But if it's guilt you're looking for, Buffy, I'm not your man. All you will get from me is my support. And my respect.' Buffy looked at her Watcher with shining eyes. Giles smiled at her reassuringly. 'Someone else said there was enough weight on your shoulders and he was right. Do not add to it unnecessarily.' He picked up the book. 'Now. I suggest you go home and get some sleep.'

Buffy nodded and turned to leave, before suddenly turning back and throwing her arms around the Englishman. She didn't speak, and Giles returned the hug somewhat awkwardly. After a few seconds, the Slayer let go and left the library.

She took the longer route home, lost in her own thoughts, trying not to let the guilt consume her. She was aware of her stalker, but she also knew that the blond vampire would not intrude. She'd become attuned to the tinglies he'd set off, and they were different from other vampires' just as Angel's had been.

She hated him. Hated him for not being so split in two like Angelus. She knew it wasn't his fault but it was easier to hate him rather than thinking through the unfairness of the situation. And the fact that Angel's humanity was not strong enough to love her without a soul.

If she hadn't known Spike, if she hadn't been so moved by his story about Catherine, would she have gone to Angel that night? Would she have been so desperate to feel that love, to know it better? She knew Angel had loved her - but why couldn't Angelus? How could he not feel the same? Why was he so different from Spike?

Spike was gone from her senses now, obviously content she could take care of herself. She hadn't felt any demonic activity near her and was all ready to go home and find some candy to indulge in, when a shallow grave at the far end of the cemetery by the exit burst open and a snarling vampiress dragged herself free. She was brown haired, dressed in an ugly black dress and she was in full vamp face.

Buffy pulled her stake from her waistband and then faltered, recognising the girl behind the demon mask. She'd sat next to her in Economics.

'Sarah?' Buffy asked and the vamped girl growled, launching herself at the Slayer, snapping at her. Buffy easily threw her off, falling into a fighting stance. The girl chuckled.

'Angel sends his love.'

Buffy froze and the girl outright laughed. 'What?' Buffy whispered, as the girl ran a hand down her own body in a lewd manner.

'He said I was special. Just like you.' She gasped. 'He's such an attentive lover, don't you think?'

The Slayer stood, dumbfounded and nauseated by the girl's words. Sarah swayed closer. 'Want me to give him a message?'

Buffy wasn't sure how she managed to bring the stake up and dust the vampire who'd once been a sweet and shy student in her class. She wasn't sure how she saw through her tears to get home.

She was sure, however, that Angelus had planned this.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>I hope you all enjoyed this :) reviews will be appreciated. My brand new work desk is being delivered tomorrow so hopefully I can get some more done on this fic!<p> 


	12. Contradiction In Nature

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note: **I've literally never had so much feedback on a story. You guys all make me smile :) I've got the next few chapters of this fic written and I warn you now, we're nowhere near the end of this story ^.^ I am glad you are all enjoying this so far, and I adore reading your reviews! We are skipping some of the episode stuff here and focusing on Spike. I would like to clarify at this point that he is not in love with Buffy. He cares but no love, not yet. And this chapter carries **warnings for Spangel.** But it's only for a moment and it's funny. I've never seen it done before, so I thought I would play.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Contradiction In Nature<strong>

* * *

><p>Angelus knew.<p>

He knew Spike hadn't gone back to his killing ways and he was calling him out on it. The gangs of fledges Spike had been attacked by were just the welcoming present for the game, and he'd not been able to track down the other vampire, who, it seemed, had actually _listened_ back when he was a fledge himself and was moving his lair around. Spike knew Buffy had returned to the mansion and found only corpses, and he'd been keeping his ear to the ground. Angelus had stayed one step ahead every time and it was beginning to infuriate the blond. Angelus was smart, Spike didn't underestimate him one bit but he was still coming up short.

When he'd returned from a patrol one night, he'd found a dead girl in his bed. Within minutes of arriving home, the girl had turned, and propositioned him and Spike had immediately dusted her. Angelus had an open pass to his house and there was no way to revoke it. But he wouldn't play the card again. Being the master of torture that Angelus proclaimed to be, he would just hold the information, let Spike stew in the fact that he could come in whenever he wanted.

But then, Angelus didn't know about the gem buried in his leg that allowed him an escape clause. And Spike never would tell him. At least he could remain ahead of the bigger vamp in that respect. He had no doubts if Angelus did know, there would be an all out attempt on his life - not that he would win. Let alone the fact that Spike had perfected his skills over the century, his age was a winning factor in any sense.

Still, he wasn't about to take the risk.

He'd planned Angelus' demise a thousand times over. But every time he'd gone out searching, _her_ voice had haunted him. Pleading with him not to. Angel could still be saved. She believed it. So he had to. And he'd lain low, avoiding the Scoobies and the Watcher, hoping to deflect their attention. Him being around had only gotten them hurt so far. He kept his eye on Revello of course. He'd heard through the grapevine about Red's little boyfriend being a werewolf and the spell induced Valentine's. The Whelp and the Cheerleader had made it up and out of the closet so it seemed.

So it came as a shock to find the teacher, the librarian's girlfriend, on his doorstep one night, asking for his help. She stood there, nervously, and he could _smell_ the gypsy in her. Of course he knew she was of the same clan that had devised the original curse. He knew what Angelus had done to her kin.

'What do you want?' He growled and she fidgeted.

'To fix this. To re-ensoul Angelus.' She was practically shaking. He'd raised an eyebrow, unsure of her intent.

'What about me?' He asked, cautiously. 'You planning on placing the whammy on me too?'

'N-no.' She was lying in part, he guessed. The thought would have at least crossed her mind. 'Rupert would kill me if he knew I were. But I have the spell. I just-'

'You're worried Angelus will stop you.' She nodded and Spike sighed. 'Come in then gypsy.' He stood to the side. She moved passed him gingerly, standing in his front room. 'So you can put Angelus back in his box.' Another nod. 'How? And what about me?'

'Do you _want_ it back?' She asked incredulously. He shrugged.

'Makes no difference. Never was much of a demon as certain others.'

'You haven't been feeding.'

'Not on the living.' Spike leered. Ms Calendar shuddered.

'So will you help me?' She asked again. He contemplated her for a moment and then nodded.

'What do you need?'

'Everything is at the school. Can you meet me there tonight?'

* * *

><p>Shit.<p>

He was running late.

Bloody Angelus and his damn packs of fledges.

He winced as he ran, his leg twisted from the fight with ten newbie vamps. None of them had an ounce of skill, as it seemed Angelus was siring every delivery boy in the town. Only sheer numbers had slowed him down.

Goddamn Angelus. He knew. How?

_Run faster._

Bursting through the school doors hurt and he could smell fire and fear in the air. Without stopping he raced through the halls, following the scent of the terrified teacher and his wayward family member. He suddenly spotted them in front of the bay window that gave a view of the quad. Angelus was going to kill her.

With a roar, he launched himself at the pair, intent on separating the vampire from his prey but as he collided, Angelus had hold of Jenny and all three of them crashed through the window, plummeting fifteen feet down to the concrete below. Jenny screamed once and then went silent. Angelus roared in anger, getting to his feet before Spike and pulling the blond to his feet, slugging him hard across the face.

Spike spat blood as Angelus snarled at him. 'Traitor! I didn't want to believe it. You were like my Sire, man!'

'No, I wasn't.' Spike snarled, pushing the younger vampire away. 'Darla sired you. I take no responsibility for the twisted mess you are.'

'You want your soul back you freak?' The brunette looked disgusted. Spike smirked and Angelus punched him again. Spike laughed as he took the blow, then landed a right hook on the bigger man that floored him.

'You want to play this game _again,_ Angelus?'

The dark vampire scowled, his vampire features receding. His gaze flickered to Ms Calendar. And he smiled.

'No worry, Spike. I'm done here.'

Spike turned to the teacher and Angelus seized the opportunity, running into the night. Spike leaned down, checking Jenny over. Her right wrist was broken, bent at an unnatural angle and blood was pooling under her head. Her heart was struggling. He vamped out, struggling against the scent of fresh blood. Once he had composed himself, he scooped the teacher up and ran.

* * *

><p>He'd gotten the phone call and made off like the hounds of hell were after him. His stupid little car wouldn't go fast enough. He'd yelled and cried and let it all out of his system before arriving at the hospital in a puffy, crumpled tweed mess.<p>

Jenny was in a coma.

Spike had tried to save her from Angelus. She had been trying to restore the vampire's soul.

And now she might never wake up.

He'd gone into the room with apprehension, and seen her laying on the bed, pale and broken, machines beeping, IV fluids slowly being fed into her. His heart had nearly broken. He'd barely noticed the vampire in the corner, keeping watch.

'Jenny.' Giles whispered.

'I tried.' Spike said suddenly. Giles wouldn't look at him. 'I'm sorry.'

'Angelus.' Giles almost growled, and Spike saw the anger in his eyes.

'Focus on her.' Spike said, his voice steady. He wasn't stupid. He'd seen that look - hell, he'd worn that look. Watcher was fixing for some payback.

'I should call the children.' Giles said, turning from the prone figure of the woman he loved, mentally inventorying his weapons at home. Almost immediately, Spike was there.

'Wasn't born yesterday, Watcher.' He focused blue eyes on the other Englishman. 'You stay here. You talk to her. Keep everything focused on _her. I_ will call the Scoobies.' The underlying message was clear. _Don't do something stupid, Watcher, you're no good to her dead._

Giles regarded him for a moment, then nodded, reluctantly and took the seat next to the comatose woman, gently lifting her hand to cradle it. Spike watched, seeing the man fall apart at the bedside.

Then he left.

* * *

><p>It had been nearly two weeks since the incident with Ms Calendar, and Spike had done his best to avoid the kiddies. He'd seen Giles a couple of times, and the Watcher had been a mess the first week. Something had happened the previous weekend though, which had encouraged him to buck up. He seemed to be spending equal amounts of time between the library and hospital, and when Spike could, he checked in on the comatose teacher, satisfied to see that she was in a secured ward.<p>

Sunnydale Hospital was not as stupid as the local majority. Ninety percent of their wards required key codes.

He'd had the bad luck of running into the Slayer in Restfield this evening. She'd changed her route. She liked to do that. He wasn't a fan, although he knew it was smart, it was harder to avoid her. But he thought he would take the opportunity to see how the teacher actually was.

'How's Ms Calendar?' He asked quietly, keeping his distance from her as she stomped through the cemetery. She spared him a withering glare. She looked tired, he noted.

'No change. You have *not* thrown her through a window.' Her voice sounded a little funny.

Spike clenched his teeth. 'Stopped Angelus snapping her neck, didn't I?'

She didn't reply, continuing on her way. He followed, frowning at her less than graceful gait. Her heartbeat sounded funny too. Suddenly she stopped and sneezed, loudly. He paused as she followed it through with a cough and a sniffle. Darting round in front of her, his eyes went wide as he got a good look at her appearance. She didn't just look tired. Her face was pale and sunked and she looked like she hadn't eaten in days.

'Christ, Slayer. You're ill.'

Buffy scowled. 'Slayers don't get ill.' She sniffed hard, her bunged up nose make her words muffled. A sigh escaped her. 'Jus' a cold.'

'You're speaking flu.' Spike chuckled as her "d" sounded more like a "b".

'What do you care?' She tried to push past him but he stopped her.

'Home. Now.' He ordered and she scrunched up her face in distaste.

'Leave me alone.' She struggled as he gripped her arm, stopping her from leaving. But she had no strength. He placed a hand on her forehead and frowned as he felt the temperature raging underneath her skin. 'Let go - oh!' She exclaimed when his skin touched her. 'Cold.' She frowned. 'Maybe I'm a little warm.'

He scooped her up without warning, and she squeaked. 'Hey! Put me down!' He ignored her, and by the time they'd reached the cemetery gates, she'd passed out. He looked down at her pale face and grimaced at how gaunt she looked. Upon reaching, Revello Drive, her heart was fighting and he was getting worried.

'Joyce!' He yelled out, climbing the porch and kicking the door. A few seconds later, the Slayer's mother appeared at the door and horror flooded her features.

'Buffy?'

Spike wasted no time. 'Grab your car keys. Slayer's sick.'

'Sick?' The woman paled and then reached inside the door, grabbing her keys. She slammed the front door and rushed to the jeep on the driveway, opening the back door as Spike followed, bundling the Slayer into the vehicle.

* * *

><p>'It's the flu.' The doctor announced, to a gathered Joyce, Willow, Xander, Giles and Spike, who stood separate from the others. 'A bad strain going round, I'm afraid.'<p>

'She'll be okay though?' Willow asked, her voice fraught with nervousness.

'With rest and fluids, she'll make a good recovery I think.' The doctor replied, smiling that fake smile all doctors have. Joyce wrung her hands.

'She doesn't like hospitals.' The older woman murmured as the doctor walked away. Spike smiled at her reassuringly.

'Best place for her though. She'll be on her feet soon enough.'

'Spike's right. Her Slayer constitution should fight this fairly quickly.' Giles clarified. He stood from his seat, his eyes darting down the corridor to Jenny's ward.

'We'll stay with her.' Xander offered, eyeing Spike warily. The vampire nodded.

'Good idea. Keep a cross and some holy water. Public building and this part has no security. Best to be safe.' He turned away, intent on leaving when Willow ran up behind him.

'Spike?' She said his name meekly, but as he turned, she threw her arms around him and hugged him. He stood, shocked, as the redhead squeezed him once and whispered in his ear. 'Thank.'

And then she was gone, back to the humans, who piled into Buffy's room.

The vampire was alone, stood in the corridor looking like a gaping fish. His gaze remained fixed on the door and his thoughts were on the strange little group he was beginning to care about, against his better judgement.

* * *

><p>'Angelus made an appearance at the hospital.' Giles commented, handing the mug of tea to the vampire sat in his office. Spike took it, his eyes flashing with concern. 'Xander warned him away. He has not attempted again.' He took the seat at his desk, opposite the blond.<p>

'Jenny still in the secured wing?' There was no mistaking the pain on the Watcher's face.

'Yes. Still with key code entry.'

'No change then?' Spike asked and the other man shook his head sadly. He smiled tightly.

'Buffy however, is home and nearly recovered, enjoying her mother's chicken noodle soup, I believe. You say you've never heard of this Der Kindestod?' The blond shook his head.

'Can't say I have.'

'Well. I suppose it's a moot point. The demon is dead.' Giles shrugged, sipping at his tea. 'I must admit, I thought you gone until Buffy got sick.'

'Yeah, uh, I was...avoiding everyone.' Spike mumbled into his tea.

'We noticed.' Giles leaned back in the chair. 'You may not think so Spike, but we are thinking the better of you. I know Buffy has shown a degree of animosity but...'

'She's hurting. Can't blame her. She's watching the man she loves tear apart the town whilst I remain the same. Of course she's gonna treat me like crap.' Spike shrugged, dropping back to rest on the desk with his shoulder. Giles removed his glasses, sitting forward slightly.

'I must admit that I do not understand myself why you choose this path.'

'Made a promise to a lady.' The vampire mumbled.

'I don't quite...' Giles trailed off as he realised. 'Catherine?'

Spike nodded gently. 'I still fight for her. Maybe I'm off my rocker, but yeah, I made a promise to a dead woman ninety years ago that I would try to be a good man. And I don't break promises.'

'That's noble. For a vampire.'

'Don't get me wrong, Rupes, it ain't easy. I have to think about what I'm doing, control myself. I have a three hundred year old pissed off demon in me.' He sighed. 'But I renege on my word and I stop being me. I start being just a demon. And I can't be that way.'

Giles blinked. It was not the explanation he had been expecting. 'So this is not for love?'

'Maybe in part.' Spike shrugged again.

'But...and forgive me for suggesting; would it not be easier to just, let go?'

The vampire eyed him carefully. 'Yes it would. I could be a demon. I won't lie. I forged a reputation as a ruthless brutal killer...but what's one in thousands? She...' He took a breath, unneeded but required. '...I was soulless. She should have staked me. Over two centuries old and I'd never had anything resembling a friend. Then I had her. She _believed_ in me.' He exhaled deeply. 'Why would I tarnish that?'

'But you did, didn't you. After she...I'm sorry, you must understand this is difficult to grasp.' Giles waited for the vampire to speak, and when he did, he raised his head, blue eyes meeting blue and Giles was shocked at the depth of emotion in the vampire's eyes.

'Like I said. It wasn't easy. I was grieving.' Spike paused. 'When Jenny got hurt, what did you want to do?'

Giles understood then. 'I wanted retribution.' He nodded. 'Yes. Yes, I think I know now.'

'I shut down.' Spike mumbled. 'Demon's don't deal well with grief. Most of 'em don't feel anything beyond the kill.' He sighed. 'Maybe I was made wrong.'

Giles shook his head. 'No. Just different.'

* * *

><p>He had avoided Giles for a couple of days after their chat in the library. Realising his current predicament had been tough on him and finding the bottom of several whiskey bottles had not helped in the slightest. So when the phone call came from the Summers residence, summoning him for help, he'd been reluctant. And irritated that he'd purchased a phone.<p>

But apparently some boogeyman was haunting the high school and they needed backup. It had been Willow who had called, and he could hear the Slayer protesting at his involvement. He'd told them he'd be there as soon, but he had wanted to get a look at the school first.

He didn't like wasps. Or insects in general. He'd been funny around them when he was alive, and it seemed to have stayed with him in death. Thankfully, being dead meant insects didn't pay him much attention. He wandered through the swarm surrounding the school entrance without much of a fuss, and had spent a few minutes looking around. He felt Angelus before he saw him.

'Wasps huh? No taste for the undead.' The brunette chuckled dryly. 'This is a shame. No Buffy?' He grinned at Spike, as the blond stood stock still, his eyes strangely unfocused. 'You're not playing the brave knight again, are you Willy?'

'You're the only one.' Spike spoke, his voice dark and unsteady. 'The only person I can talk to.'

Angelus blinked. 'Gosh, Spike. That's really...pathetic.'

Rage covered Spike's face. 'You can't make me disappear just because you say it's over!' The words confused the other vampire and he stepped forward.

'Seriously what's your-' His face changed and he looked desperate, tears forming in his brown eyes. 'I just want you to be able to have some kind of normal life. We can never have that, don't you see?'

'I don't give a damn about a normal life.' Spike sniffed. 'I'm going crazy not seeing you. I think about you every minute.' Angelus' breath caught in his throat and he almost choked.

'I know...But...' He turned from the blond. 'It's over. It has to be.' Angelus started to walk away and Spike sobbed.

'Come back here! We're not finished!' The brunette carried on walking and Spike ran, grabbing his arm. 'You don't care anymore, is that it?'

'It doesn't matter.' Tears clouded Angelus' face. 'It doesn't matter what I feel...'

Spike shook him, seething at his words. 'Then tell me you don't love me! Say it!'

Angelus was crying now. 'Will that help? Is that what you have to hear? I don't. I don't.' He attempted to pull his arm away from the blond, crying in earnest. 'Now let me go.'

Spike shook his head, tears tracking down his cheeks. 'No. A person doesn't just wake up one day and stop loving somebody.' He raised his hand, aiming the gun that had materialized in his grip at Angelus, whose eyes widened in terror. 'Love is forever.' Angelus squirmed as the gun shook in Spike's hand. 'I'm not afraid to use it. I swear. If I can't be with you-'

'Oh my god.' Angelus shoved him then, sending him backwards and bolting for the doors to the quad. Spike gave chase.

'Don't walk away from me, bitch!' Spike yelled, almost upon the other vampire, as he burst through the doors onto the balcony. 'Stop! I mean it! Don't make me!' Angelus turned, slowly, the terror on his face evident.

'All right. Just...you know you don't want to do this. Let's both-' He raised his hands. 'Just calm down. Give me the gun.'

Spike sobbed again, rage painted across his face. 'Don't. Don't do that, damn it!' He waved the gun wildly. 'Don't talk to me like I'm some dumb-'

The gun went off. Spike jumped in surprise and then looked at Angelus. The bullet had not missed, and blood trickled from the chest wound. He stared, disbelieving - and then fell backwards over the balcony.

Spike stared at the spot where Angelus had stood, and then turned, walking back into the school as if in a daze. He headed for the music room, silent tears tracking down his face. He put a record on and listened, gripping the gun tightly. He raised it, aiming the barrel at his own head, his finger on the trigger, the tears falling harder...

Angelus' hand covered his own.

'Don't do this.' Spike whirled, confused.

'Grace. But I-I killed you.'

'It's not your fault. It was an accident.' Spike didn't hear the words.

'It is my fault. How could I let this-'

Angelus cut him off. 'I'm the one who should be sorry, James. You thought I stopped loving you. But I never did. I love you with my last breath.' Spike choked, crying. Angelus embraced him. 'Sssshhhh. No more tears.' The brunette leaned down, kissing the blond gently. Lights surrounded them as they embraced, as the spirits rose, redemption found, and they left.

Spike noticed first.

Angelus barely had time to react before he was flung across the room into a drum kit. He snarled, pushing a snare stand from his face as he vamped out and glared at Spike, who looked thoroughly disgusted.

Buffy appeared in the doorway, her eyes drawn to her former lover as he sat sprawled on the floor, musical instruments strewn around him. 'Angel?' She breathed, but the vampire simply snarled, jumping to his feet and pushing past her. She watched him go into the night, her bottom lip quivering. She looked to Spike, who was stood rigid now, looking a little sickened. 'What happened?' She asked but he didn't reply. 'Spike? I heard James. I was on my way here. Then bam. I'm staring at a wall of wasps and hearing gunshots. What happened?' She repeated.

Spike swallowed hard and looked at her.

'I don't want to talk about it.'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>I enjoyed writing this chapter. I imagined it as I was writing it and was giggling. I'm so mean.<p> 


	13. We Band Of Buggered

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>We Band Of Buggered<strong>

* * *

><p>'So James wanted Buffy but Spike caught by the ghost instead?' Xander made a face. 'At least they only kissed...' He sniggered and Spike shot him a dirty look. He stood and scowled.<p>

'I'm leaving.' The blond snarled. 'Got some memories to drink away.' Xander laughed harder as Willow smacked him. The vampire stalked from the library, ignoring Buffy as she tried to catch up.

'Hey.' She started but he carried on. 'Hey!' Her tone was indignant as she grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop.

'Leave me be, Slayer.' He spoke through gritted teeth. She dropped his arm, an apologetic look on her face.

'Look, I'm sorry, if I had gotten there sooner...'

'He might have killed you.' Spike stated, looking at her. 'I might have a few nightmares but it's nothing that hadn't happened before.'

'I - huh?' Buffy wrinkled her nose. 'You...a-and...Angel?'

'Angelus.' He corrected. 'He's not Angel, you need to see that. He's been taunting you with corpses and gag gifts for weeks. He is _not_ Angel.'

'I know!' She cried. 'God. I know, okay?' She paused. 'There has to be a way to fix this...' Spike looked her dead in her hazel eyes, and she could see that his whole self was tensed.

'I'd find it quick, pet. He's bored. Which means bad things for you and yours.'

* * *

><p>The first visit went ignored. The second was more insistent but he still didn't answer. The third was clearly the Slayer, as she skipped knocking and went straight to kicking the door open. He still didn't move from the bed, where he lay on his bare chest, sporadically glaring at the empty bourbon bottle on the dresser. He'd been in a bad mood. Drinking helped.<p>

She stood in the doorway to his bedroom glaring at his bare back.

'You've been MIA.' She stated. He ignored her. 'Giles wanted me to check on you.' Still nothing. 'You missed fish monsters.' She sighed as he remained unresponsive. 'Angelus has been recruiting again. Seems to be more obituaries than even in the paper. He took out some museum staff this morning. Giles knew one of the guys. He thinks Angel...us stole something.'

Spike sighed but didn't move, willing her to leave him alone. Something hard and cold landed on his back and he turned, scowling at the petite teen, who had another candle in her hand, ready to throw.

'Will you just sod off?' He snarled and she threw the candle. He ducked and it missed his head. 'Oi!'

'Look, I need your help.'

'Tough shit.'

Buffy blinked and then frowned. 'You wanna mope? Fine! _After_ we stop Angelus.'

'You learnt the difference then?' He pulled a shirt from his bedside table. Buffy's eyes drifted over his chest before she realised and scowled at him.

'I _know_ the difference. Come on Spike, I thought we were friends?'

He stared at her open mouthed. 'Oh really? Cause here I thought we were enemies. I'm soulless, not be trusted? Remember?'

Buffy stood by sullenly as he dressed and stood up. He was in a foul mood and not prepared for Buffy's brand of guilt trip.

'Giles tried to explain it to me.' She started as he moved past her into the kitchen. 'Why you're different. I can't say I get it...but I'm sorry. It's just unfair because he changed and...'

'And I can control myself beyond demon urges.' Spike sighed. 'Angelus was never adaptable. The soul probably drove him a little insane.' He pulled a carton of blood from the fridge. Buffy noted that it was still animal blood and still coming from the butchers. 'And I told you I was odd.'

Buffy smiled a little. 'But I still shouldn't test every demon for signs of humanity, right?'

'One in a million, pet.' He popped his blood in the microwave. 'You won't have to worry soon. Not sticking around.'

The Slayer's face fell. 'Why not?'

He sighed. 'Getting too close. Told you before - I'm not getting anyone else hurt. I've already caused enough trouble here.'

'No, Spike. You haven't.'

'If I hadn't come here, Angelus might still have his soul.'

'Or he wouldn't and Ms Calendar would be dead. I might've got snacked on when I had the flu. Or shot by a ghost. Things might have been worse.' She pointed out, crossing her arms across her chest.

'And they could have been better.' He glowered, staring at the blood in the microwave. It beeped at him but he didn't move. Buffy huffed.

'Fine. Leave.' She ground out. 'After. Help me with Angel...Angelus. I need you on this.'

He looked up, searching her hazel eyes. Seconds passed and he relented. 'Okay. I'll stay. But the minute he's dead or back to his wonderful brooding self, I'm gone. Powers be damned.'

* * *

><p>Buffy had left after she made him promise to come to the library after dark. Giles had expressed concern over a missing artifact from the museum. Angelus was the prime suspect. Spike was unsure - artifacts were not Angelus' modus operandi, even when he was playing with a full deck.<p>

So he'd sat for a while after she had left, contemplating their conversation. He couldn't stay - his feelings towards all of them were becoming too familial. He'd found an intelligent friend in the Watcher (and that was bad in itself) and they had shared more than one bottle of Glenfiddich. Red was a bright and caring little thing and the boy, despite his faults, was loyal and honest friend to the Slayer. He was wary of soulless Spike, which was just smart, if the vampire was honest. He hadn't spent much time with the werewolf or the cheerleader.

And Buffy. The Slayer. Little blonde bombshell of attitude and power. He could admit he cared. As much as he had resisted, fought it - he cared. She was young and his dead heart broke for the weight she carried.

And that's why he couldn't stay. He cared and people got hurt. He was selfish because he couldn't stay and watch it happen again.

The blood was cold by the time he remembered it and he threw it away in disgust before leaving the apartment. He decided to cut through Restfield to the school and was lighting a cigarette when a shadowy figure leapt from the top of the Alpert mausoleum and landed on him. His fag and lighter went flying and he snarled as he turned to face his opponent. She was petite, of Jamaican origin by the looks of it. Her hair was swept up in a long braid and her clothes practical. She circled him and he snarled again as she produced a stake.

'Who are you?' He spat, golden eyes giving way to blue. She didn't reply. He recognised the telltale tinglies on his neck. But...there was already a Slayer. His eyes widened and he ran, heading for his original destination. The girl gave chase and she was _fast_.

By the time he reached the school, she was almost upon him and as he skidded along a corridor, he yelled out for Buffy. The girl grabbed him, spinning round. They landed in a pile and he roared, as she landed her foot on his knee. He saw red and punched her hard, just in time for Buffy to appear. She saw him hit the girl and frowned, ready to attack but not sure who to fight. Just then, the girl produced a stake and went in for the kill. Buffy grabbed her, and the girl reacted by punching her, hard. Buffy yelped and punched back, sending the girl into the lockers.

'Stay out of dis!' The girl spat.

'Er, I'm gonna say no.' Buffy placed herself between the girl and the vampire. 'Who the hell are you?' She demanded.

'I am Kendra. The Vampire Slayer.' Buffy's eyes went wide but the girl, Kendra, looked past her to Spike. 'Dat is William The Bloody. He is a vampire.' Spike was on his feet now, wiping blood from his lip.

'And a kewpie doll for the winner.' Spike said. 'How comes there's two of you?'

Buffy shrugged. 'Think it's time to ask Jeeves.'

* * *

><p>She felt a bit cheat if she was honest. She had been the Slayer for nearly three years. THE as in, the only one. So she died for two minutes. Big deal.<p>

Yet suddenly there's Kendra. Mini-Giles.

Footnotes. *Hahaha*

It. Sucked.

Marching in here and trying to kill her vampire.

Whoa.

Back that train up.

_My_ vampire?

You've known him five seconds, Buff. Can't really lay a claim to him.

He's a friend.

A really hot, super strong, occasionally bumpy in the forehead (have you seen those abs) friend.

Not _mine._

Never will be.

*sigh*

* * *

><p>Buffy didn't notice she was staring until Spike frowned. Since Kendra had introduced herself, her brain had gone off on a tangent. Trouble focusing? Thy name is Buffy.<p>

'You alright, Slayer?'

'Huh?' Snapped from her stupor, Buffy blinked at him. 'Oh yeah. Fine.' She clapped her hands together. 'So. Artifact. Angelus. Fire away, Giles.' She smiled at her Watcher, who fixed her with a strange look.

'Yes. Well, as we discovered this morning, the artifact is missing and the curator murdered.' He sighed. 'It seems Kendra's watcher was correct in sending her.'

'So it's this Alfalfa?' Buffy clarified, wishing she hadn't zoned out.

'Acathla, and yes, the information provided by Kendra seems conclusive.'

Willow raised a hand. 'Okay, somebody explain the whole "he will suck the world into hell" thing, cos that's the part I'm not loving.'

Giles removed his glasses. 'Well, the, uh, the demon universe exists in a dimension separate from our own.' He sat on the edge of the library table. 'With one breath, Acathla will create a vortex, a-a kind of, um...whirlpool that will pull everything on Earth into that dimension, where any non demon life will suffer horrible and...eternal torment.'

'So that would be the literal kind of "sucked into hell". Neat.' Buffy sighed, her eyes going back to Spike. 'Any bright ideas?' Kendra snorted.

'Eliminating the vampire would be good start.'

'Oh I'll fight him.' Buffy spat, her angry glare on the newcomer. 'I'll kill him if I have to, but if I lose, or don't get there in time, we need a plan B.'

'How about me?' A weak voice sounded from the doors of the library. All of the occupants turned and Giles rushed forward to meet the pale and frail form of Jenny Calendar.

'Ms Calendar!' Buffy exclaimed. 'You're awake!'

Jenny smiled as Giles embraced her. 'Yes. I discharged myself and came straight here, with this.' She held up a black floppy disk.

'Okay. It's new as far as weapons go.' Xander commented dryly. Jenny looked at Buffy, her face serious.

'It's the curse. The one I was trying to do when...' She paused, smiling as Giles squeezed her hand in support. 'If we can locate an Orb of Thesulah quickly, I have the rest of the ingredients.'

'I have one of those.' Giles muttered. 'I was using it as a paperweight.' Jenny looked at him endearingly.

'I will need help with the spell.' Her eyes flickered round the room and rested on Willow. 'Willow? Are you up to the challenge?'

'Of course!' The redhead almost bounced in excitement. Buffy frowned at her friend and then Jenny.

'I don't want you guys in danger.'

'And I don't want danger! Big no to danger.' Willow babbled. 'But I wanna help.'

Xander raised his hand. 'Hi. For those of you who just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person.' He stood, his focus on Buffy. 'So this spell might restore Angel's humanity? Well, here's an interesting angle...who cares?'

'I care.' Buffy whispered slowly, unwilling to meet her friend's eyes. Xander's gaze remained on her.

'Is that right?'

'Let's not lose perspective here, Xander.' Spike interjected from his position on the stairs. Xander looked at him, raising his hands.

'I'm Perspective Guy.' He swung his focus back to Buffy. 'Angel's a killer.'

'Xander...' Willow admonished as Buffy sighed.

'It's not that simple.'

'What?' The boy exclaimed, anger in his tone. 'All is forgiven? I can't believe you people!' He threw his arms up. 'The guy has been leaving bodies around town for weeks. He tried to kill Ms Calendar!'

'What happened to Angel wasn't his fault.' Buffy said, tears in her eyes.

'Yeah but what's happened to the people he's killed is.' He looked at his friend, his gaze unwavering. 'You can paint this any way you want. But the way I see it, is that you want to forget all about those murders so you can get your boyfriend back.'

Buffy looked at him, her face blank, and then she turned, leaving the library. Spike stood, his eyes falling on Xander as the boy took his seat back at the table.

'What about me?' The vampire asked. 'I don't have a soul either. Don't I deserve to die?'

'You didn't kill anyone.' Xander frowned.

'Not recently.' Spike said quietly. 'But before, I wouldn't have thought twice about draining any of you dry.'

'Without you, I'd be dead.' Jenny argued.

'Without me, Angel may not have lost his soul.' Spike replied. He sighed. 'Yes, Buffy wants Angel back. She loves him. Of course she'd want him back. Are you that much of an insensitive berk that you don't realise that?' The vampire waited for an answer. 'You don't have to like Angel. But if you love Buffy, you'll help.' He didn't say anymore, leaving the library and its occupants in silence.

* * *

><p>Finding the Slayer in the cemetery had not been hard. She'd found a fledgling and was working out her aggression on his face. Spike watched as she reduced him to a bloody unconscious mess before staking him.<p>

'Am I selfish?' She demanded, spinning to face him. Spike blustered, unsure how to answer. 'Am I? For wanting Angel back? For even loving him in the first place?' Spike's mouth set in a thin line. She glared at him. 'Come on. You've always got all the answers.'

'Yes. You are selfish. You're an infuriating brat, Summers. But guess what?' He almost laughed at the outrage on her face. 'That's what love is.'

'Love is selfish?' She frowned.

'Sometimes.' He sighed. 'I don't say as I understand why you love that berk. But I understand the need to...save him.'

Buffy looked at him, sympathy in her eyes. It didn't take a genius to work out what was going through his head. 'Thank you, Spike.' He nodded.

'Well, this is cozy.' Angelus' voice rang out from the darkness. 'Lapping up my sloppy seconds, William?' Spike growled as the vampire emerged into the dim light of the cemetery. 'Thought Drusilla was bad enough.'

'Need I mention Darla?' Spike snarled and the younger vampire glowered. He nodded to the darkness and a small gang of minions appeared, surrounding the blonde couple.

'And wouldn't our Sire be proud of you now? Soulless and still sniffing around Slayers.' He grinned. 'I think I've already laid claim to this one though.'

Buffy scowled. 'What do you want?'

Angelus laid a hand on his chest, mockingly offended by her tone. 'Oh, gee, Buff, I was hoping we could work things out. What do you think, do we have a shot?' He shrugged at the pointed glare on her face. 'Or we can fight.' He looked to one of his minions and they began to attack as a pack. Angelus hung back, watching as the two thinned out the lesser vampires quickly. Soon just four remained, two a piece. Spike dusted his quickly and efficiently, his sights on the vampire that was becoming more than a thorn in his paw.

'That was your grand plan, Angelus? I thought I taught you better than that?' The blond vampire squared up to the taller vamp, who smirked. He threw a punch and sent Spike backwards but he didn't lose his footing.

'Yeah, you did.' And he took off, before Spike could retaliate. The older vampire snarled, about to give chase when Buffy yelped and a thump came from behind. Spike span, Angelus forgotten, and he saw Buffy on her butt, the one remaining vamp bearing down on her. She thrust upwards with the stake and ash showered down on her. She coughed and got to her feet as Spike walked over.

'You okay?' He asked and she nodded, looking in the direction Angelus had gone.

'Yeah. Just a bruise. What was that about? You taught him what?'

Spike frowned for a moment and then his eyes widened. 'The library.'

He took off sprinting, Buffy hot on his heels. They sped through Sunnydale, making it to the library in a matter of moments. They burst through the doors, the combined strength of them shattering one of the hinges on the metal frame, but neither stopped until they were inside the library, staring at the upturned table, the destroying shelving and the pool of blood on the floor, metres away from a downed Cordelia. Buffy looked around frantically, spotting Xander groaning on the floor by the fallen stacks. Giles, Kendra, Jenny and Willow were nowhere to be seen.

Xander pushed himself upwards as Buffy approached, unmanly whimpers tearing from his throat as he cradled his injured wrist. He hissed as she touched it.

'This looks broken, Xan. What happened?'

'Vampires.' Xander winced in pain. 'They took Giles and Kendra.' His voice was laced with agony. Buffy paled.

'Willow? Jenny?' She questioned. Xander shrugged. The Slayer turned to Spike, who was helping a dazed Cordelia to her feet.

'They ran.' Cordelia said. 'Don't know how far they got.' She raised a palm to her head, closing her eyes against the onslaught of dizziness.

'He knew.' Buffy whispered. 'How did he know?'

'Probably got people watching us, pet.' Spike checked Cordelia over as the cheerleader tried to bat him off.

'We need to find the others.' Buffy said, thinking for a moment. 'Do you think he'll have gone back to the mansion?'

Spike shook his head. 'I've been trying to get a bead on his whereabouts but the bastard keeps moving around. In all likelyhood he won't move again if he's got a ruddy great statue to lug about. He knew I wasn't batting for his team, and he knows I can take him out.'

'What about the old factory district? Lot of empty warehouses. Where the anointed one was for a while?' Buffy suggested, then turned back to Xander, frowning as the teen groaned and retched. He was pale and sweating. 'He needs a doctor.'

'This one too.' Spike motioned to Cordelia. Buffy nodded.

'Can you get them there?'

'Yeah.' The vampire affirmed.

'My car's out front.' Cordelia offered and Buffy repressed a grin at the thought of Spike driving Queen C's little red convertible. Spike grimaced, obviously having the same thought.

'I'll take care of them. You find the gypsy. She's our only hope.'

'No, there's another.' Xander quipped, then grimaced with the pain again. 'The bag, Kendra, she had a sword. Something to do with the Acafe thing.' He trailed off, clutching his arm. 'I'm gonna be sick.'

'Not in my car, you're not.' Cordelia muttered.

'Hospital. Now.' Buffy ordered, helping Xander down the steps. She watched as the vampire led the teens out. She stood alone, wondering where to start on finding the two missing women.

'Things are looking bad, kiddo.'

She span, seeing the demon in the ugly green shit and awful hat. She frowned at him.

'Who are you?'

'Whistler.' She'd heard that name before.

'What are you doing here?' She demanded.

'I'm waiting for you.' He descended the stairs from the stacks to stand in front of the irate Slayer.

'Why?'

'Cause I need a date to the prom.' She flew at him, shoving him against the wall by the office.

'I have had a really bad day, okay?' If you have information worth having, then I am grateful for it. If you're gonna crack jokes,' she forced her arm against his chest, earning a grunt from the demon, 'then I'm gonna pull out your ribcage and wear it as a hat.'

Whistler held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. 'Hello to the imagery. Very nice.' He paused and Buffy dropped him, taking a step back. 'It wasn't supposed to go down like this. You weren't supposed to die in the first place. Nobody foresaw it. Then you and Angel made with the smoochies and now he's a creep again. He was supposed to stop Acathla, not bring him forth.'

'So why bring Spike here?' Buffy questioned, her arms folded over her chest.

The demon sucked air in through his teeth. 'I could tell you that you're by yourself, that you have to do this alone...in another life, it would have taken years for you to figure it out. That you're not alone.'

'I don't...what are you saying?'

'Something you do have to figure out for yourself, dollface. Right now, you have to decide what you're prepared to do.'

'Whatever it takes.' Buffy stated, her eyes cold in regarding him. He nodded.

'Maybe I should ask what you are prepared to give up.'

'You don't have anything useful to tell me, do you? What are you, just some immortal demon sent down to even the score between good and evil?'

Whistler grinned. 'Wow. Good guess.'

Buffy scowled, stepping closer to him, dropping her arms, her fists clenching. 'Well, why don't you try getting off your immortal ass and fighting evil once in a while. Cause I'm sick and tired of doing it myself.'

He grinned again and she felt like punching him. 'That's why we sent Spike.'

'How'd you know he'd even be on my side? Maybe you didn't see the soul thing coming, but he could have killed me a hundred times over.'

'Faith.'

Buffy snorted. 'Spare me.' She turned to leave the library, picking up the sword on her way through.

'The sword isn't gonna be enough! You gotta be ready. You gotta know how to use it!' He raised his voice as she left the library.

His only reply was a swinging door.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued<strong>

* * *

><p>Hehehe. I'm so overwhelmed. Two more reviews and I'll have gotten more reviews for this fic than any of my others. Must be doing something right?<p> 


	14. Get By With A Little Help

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note: **I seriously love you all. Thank you so much for your continued love. Virtual cookies for all! I hope you enjoy this chapter...by the way, we're nowhere near finished on this trip ^.^

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Get By With A Little Help<strong>

* * *

><p>'Rupert.'<p>

The voice called to him and he shifted slightly, feeling the cold stone under his skin. He groaned, the head injury making him woozy as he pushed one arm up his torso to elevate his bruised chest from the floor. Only one eye would open fully, the other was heavily blurred and his glasses were missing. He raised his head, and spotted the reason for all his aches and pains.

Angelus grinned down at the Watcher. 'Now, I was going to indulge a little here and enjoy some good old-fashioned torture – well, I say old-fashioned, but the last time I did this, they didn't even have chainsaws.' He smirked and Giles felt sick to his stomach. 'So we're going to make this quick. Either you tell me what I need to know, or she dies.' Angelus pointed to the other side of the room, where Kendra was hanging from her arms, her body littered with injuries. She was awake and the look of terror in her eyes shot through him.

Angelus grabbed the librarian's chin and forced him to look upwards. 'How do I awaken Acathla?'

Giles' mouth set in a thin line. Angelus glared. 'Your stubbornness is going to kill a Slayer, Rupert. Now…how do I awaken the demon?'

The librarian still refused to answer, and Angelus growled. 'I don't have time for this.' He dropped the old man to the floor and stalked over to a table near Kendra. The girl flinched, looking terrified as he drew near. He flashed her a smile. 'Oh, don't panic, sweetheart. I'll not leave you out of the fun.' He picked up a device from the table, which resembled a pair of pliers. 'Now.' He turned back to the Watcher on the floor. 'Which one's your page turning finger?'

* * *

><p>Buffy had headed straight out of the library and bumped into Oz at the end of the corridor. The werewolf had looked from her to the sword and raised an eyebrow. 'Nice sword.'<p>

'Thanks.' Buffy frowned. 'What are you doing here?'

'Willow called. Asked me to meet her. I'm a little late.' Oz looked back the way he came. 'Did something happen? The foyer door is like, trashed.'

'Angelus happened.' Buffy explained. 'He has Giles and Kendra.'

'Who's Kendra?' Oz asked, his eyebrow going up again.

'Long story. Willow and Jenny-'

'Whoa.' He blinked. 'How long did band practice run? Ms Calendar is awake?'

Buffy nodded. 'She's awake. Her and Willow ran to get away from Angelus. I need to find them and rescue Giles and Kendra.'

'Buffy!' A voice shrieked, and Willow turned the corner, Jenny limping behind her. The redhead brightened when she saw Oz and ran to him. 'Oz!' She hugged her boyfriend and looked to the Slayer. 'We hid. In a closet.'

'He got Giles and Kendra.' Buffy's eyes flickered to Jenny, whose face was overcome with dismay at the information. 'Xander and Cordelia are at the hospital with Spike.'

'The curse. We need to try again.' Jenny said, her voice steel. Buffy nodded.

'My house. It's secure. You do the spell, I go for Angelus.'

Oz raised his hand. 'What do I do?'

'You can carry stuff.' Willow offered, smiling at him. She turned to the teacher. 'Do you have extra supplies?' Jenny nodded.

'They're all in my faculty locker.' She raised a hand towards the teacher's lounge. As the redhead moved off, Jenny paused in following and looked at Buffy. 'You will get him back, won't you?' Her dark eyes, still tinged with red from her ordeal, pleaded with the Slayer and Buffy nodded.

'I wouldn't leave him. Not on my life.'

* * *

><p>She'd called the hospital for a check up on Xander and Cordelia. The nurse had confirmed that the boy's wrist as broken and that Cordelia had a pretty hefty concussion. They were both being released straight away. When she'd enquired about the man who had brought them in, wondering if Spike was returning to the library, she was a little freaked out by the woman's gushing on the other end of the phone.<p>

'Oh the polite punk-looking Englishman? In all the leather? He left. Said something about keeping them in until sunrise. I don't know if that makes any sense to you. He was dashing though. Lovely eyes.'

'Er, yeah.' Buffy rolled her eyes. 'Thanks.' She hung up turning to her mom. 'Xander and Cordy are fine.'

'Buffy.' Her mom started, cradling the coffee in her hands gingerly. 'I know I'm new to all this but what is going on? Why is that teacher here? What are Willow and Oz doing?'

'Giles got kidnapped.' Buffy said slowly.

Joyce stared at her wide-eyed. 'We should call the police.' The elder woman exclaimed but Buffy only shook her head.

'No, we can't.'

'Buffy, this is a matter for them!'

'Mom, Angel has him.'

'Angel, your boyfriend?'

'Yes. He's a vampire. We talked about this.'

Joyce frowned. 'Won't the police do anything?'

'Get them involved, you get them killed.' Buffy stated and her mom blinked.

'Well, you're not going to hurt them are you?'

'I'm a Slayer, mom, not a postal worker.'

Joyce placed her coffee mug on the side. 'This scares me, Buffy.' The blonde teenager looked to her mother and her shoulders slumped.

'I'm sorry, mom. I know you're worried and I know the Slayer stuff is new and scary, but I don't have time for this now. I need to get to Giles before it's too late.' Joyce shook her head.

'I can't – this is very difficult, Buffy. This Slayer stuff, do you have to do it? Can't Spike handle it?'

Buffy frowned. 'No. I can't just stop. It never stops. I didn't choose this. It's lonely and dangerous. I would love to be upstairs watching TV, or gossiping about boys, or god, even studying!' She looked at her mom sadly. 'But I have to save the world. Again.'

'This is insane.' Joyce moved closer and embraced her daughter. 'I don't understand it and I certainly don't like it.' She sighed. 'But I love you and you are _never _alone.' She pulled back, focusing on her daughter's face. 'Never. Understand?'

Buffy nodded, tears pooling in her eyes. 'Thanks mom. I love you too.'

'Now.' Joyce announced. 'What can I do to help?'

Oz appeared in the doorway to the dining room. 'They're ready to start.' He stated quietly. Buffy nodded, glancing at her mom.

'Can you help them?' Joyce nodded, following Oz into the living room. Buffy took a deep breath once she was alone, wiping the unshed tears from her eyes. The meltdown could wait.

Tingles at the back of her neck indicated a vampire was in the vicinity but she relaxed as she recognised the feeling as Spike. A blond head bobbed past the kitchen window and a few seconds later, heavy boots stomped up the porch and he knocked on the back door loudly.

Apparently Spike just liked to make noise.

Buffy smirked a little and moved to open the door for the vampire who tipped his head in greeting. She stood to one side. 'Come in Spike.'

His eyes widened as the barrier fell away. She simply looked at him, the corners of her mouth turning upwards slightly as he stepped over the threshold into the Summers' house. He had no real need to come into the house, but right now, she felt like she needed to show him he was trusted. At least in part. 'This doesn't mean we're best buds.' She clarified. 'I don't trust you completely. But we are friends. Sort of. And besides,' she shrugged. 'You're kinda all I got.'

He nodded. 'Appreciate it, Slayer.' She looked at him. 'Buffy.' He corrected and then looked to the rest of the house. 'Right. Where are your weapons?'

'There's a trunk in the dining room. Brought it down already.'

'You best grab your nifty sword.' He said, moving into the dining room to find a weapon for himself. He loaded himself up with stakes and a few knives. Buffy watched for a second.

'They're trying the spell again.'

He nodded. 'You found the girls then? Good.'

Buffy waited for another reaction, wondering if he wanted to be cursed again. She got none, so she changed the subject.

'It's almost daylight, Spike. We don't even know where Angelus is.'

'He's in the old tyre warehouse over Northside. Told you he wouldn't move once he was all set up and it just so happens he has some loose jawed minions.' Spike grinned. 'And you know sunlight is not an issue for yours truly.'

'Yeah. One day you will have to tell me about that.' Buffy muttered, and Spike smirked.

'Maybe. Grab your weapons Slayer, I want to save the world.'

* * *

><p>Whistler was still in the library when Buffy stormed in, sword in hand and Spike on her tail. The demon smirked as Spike glared at him.<p>

'Whistler.' Buffy almost shouted, getting the demon's full attention. 'What did you mean, the sword isn't enough?'

The demon propped himself up in a chair, placing his feet on the library table. 'All business you are.'

'Tell me how to use it.' She demanded. The demon sighed and dropped his legs.

'Angel's the key. His blood will open the door to hell. Acathla opens his mouth, creates a vortex.'

'Goodbye Piccadilly, farewell Leicester bloody Square.' Spike muttered. Whistler nodded.

'Exactly.' His eyes went back to the Slayer. 'Only Angel's blood will close it. One blow will send them both back to Hell. But I strongly suggest you get there before that happens. Cause the faster you kill Angel, the easier it's gonna be on you.'

Buffy scowled. 'Don't worry about me.' She turned to leave. Whistler stood.

'It's all on the line here, kids.' Spike glared at the demon again, moving to follow the Slayer, who barely spared the hideously dressed man a glance.

'I can deal. I got nothing left to lose.'

The door swung behind them and Whistler shook his head.

'You got more than you realise.'

* * *

><p>The shadows played over the buildings on Buffy and Spike as they stalked through the empty warehouse district. A lot of the businesses were empty and run down, abandoned due to high mortality rates in all likelihood. Which wouldn't surprise Buffy as her extra vamp-detecting sense was going crazy and it had nothing to do with the bleached blond at her side. The sun was already up, and it astonished her just how white Spike's hair appeared in the daytime. Not for the first time, she wondered how he'd come by this ability of his. She'd noticed his reflection in windows as they passed too, which only peaked her curiosity more.<p>

'Why is he doing this in the daytime?' She wondered out loud. 'I mean, it's pretty stupid.'

'S'not really proper daytime,' Spike offered. 'It's only 7am. But still, not a friendly time of day for an apocalypse.' Buffy shrugged and raised the sword as she heard a noise from an alleyway. The sound echoed off of the walls, and Spike snorted. 'It's just the whelp.' Xander appeared as if on cue, his right wrist encase halfway up his forearm in plaster and a blue covering.

'Xander!' Buffy admonished, taking in his injured arm and the rock he held in his left hand. He held up his offering, smiling slightly.

'Cavalry's here. Cavalry is a frightened guy with a rock, but it's here.' Spike handed him a stake. Xander threw the rock down and took the offered weapon. 'That's better.'

'You don't fight.' Buffy instructed. 'You get Giles and Kendra out and you run like hell. Understood?'

Xander nodded and motioned to the sword she held. 'That's a new look for you.'

'It's a present for Angel.'

* * *

><p>Acathla stood in the vast open room of the warehouse, his presence almost vibrating the air. Vampires filled the room, with Angelus stood in the middle, his demon mask to the fore, his eyes on the sword embedded in the demon.<p>

'Acathla….mundatus sum….pro te effumdam….quo me dignum….esse demonstrem.' The dark vampire stepped forward and a minion passed him a knife. 'Now, Acathla. You will be free.' He drew the blade across his palm, watching the blood flow freely from the wound. 'And so will we all.'

A minion exploded behind him, revealing Buffy. She stood, no expression on her face, Kendra's sword in her hand.

'Hello lover.' She said, her tone dark. Angelus rolled his eyes, frustrated at the interruption.

'I don't have time for you.'

'You don't have a lot of time left.'

'Coming on kinda strong, don't you think? You're playing some deep odds here. Do you really think you can take us all?'

'No. I don't.' She almost smiled as Spike dropped from the high walkway in the roof of the building, landing almost directly on top of Angelus. He smirked as Angelus toppled to the floor, and landed a heavy punch to the younger's head.

'Painful, isn't it?' Spike goaded. Buffy span with the sword as the vampires attacked, decapitating three with one graceful arc of the weapon. Xander ran past, punching a vampire with his casted hand and yelping, before speeding off to find the captives.

Angel kicked Spike away, snarling. 'You don't quit, do you?'

Spike grinned as he regained his footing. 'Never.'

'Got a present for you.' Angelus smiled, and held his bloodied hand out to the darkness. A female vampire stepped forward from the shadows of the room and Spike growled.

Kendra.

'You turned a Slayer? Are you totally insane?'

Angelus pouted, mocking the older vampire. 'I thought you liked Slayers? This one is a little…broken now. But way I hear it, you're not above turning them and killing them.' Spike ignored the remark, his anger at what Angelus had done outweighing his irritation that the other vampire had found out the truth. Kendra moved to stand in front of Angelus, her every move submissive to him. Spike snarled. Angelus gave her a light shove. 'Kill him.'

Kendra lunged and Spike jumped backwards, barreling into another vampire. Kendra pulled a stake from somewhere and plunged it downwards, and Spike rolled, using the vamp he'd collided with as a shield. His protection vaporised into dust and the turned Slayer brought her weapon down towards him again.

Angelus took the opportunity to grab the sword from Acathla and a bright light filled the room as he span the weapon artfully. Buffy staked her last opponent and retrieved her sword, seeing that the rest of the vampires had fled and her eyes when wide as she saw Spike fighting the vamped Kendra. She hadn't known the other girl long but she felt grief that another life had been lost.

Because of her.

Angelus grinned as Buffy drew close, and he held up his sword.

'You almost made it Buff.'

'It's not over yet.' She spat through clenched teeth.

The vampire chuckled. 'My boy Acathla here is about to wake up. You're going to hell.'

'Save me a seat.' She thrust with her sword but he parried and swung round with his own thrust, and she countered the strike. They struck back and fort before Angelus pushed upwards into the air, jumping and bringing the sword down in an arcing swing. Buffy ducked and sidestepped, bringing herself round in front of the stone demon. Angelus attempted the same move again but this time she swung under and jumped onto a crate, slicing the weapon through the air, missing as he went for her legs. She jumped over the blade and blocked his next blow, but he was quick on the second and sliced her arm. She hissed, grabbing the wound and he went in again, but Buffy brought the sword round and sliced a neat line across his stomach. She dropped to the floor, swiping her leg round and bringing him to his knees. He didn't stop swinging, the swords ringing together as they clashed violently again and again.

Buffy stumbled backwards, her eyes darting to Spike. He was on his back, avoiding the vicious blows coming from the small vampire-Slayer, but still holding his own. If anything, he was holding back and Buffy knew why.

Grumbles and noises started coming from the stone demon and his mouth dropped, revealing a swirling pool of light. The mouth of hell. Literally. Buffy brought her sword up but Angelus kicked out and she lost her grip on the blade as she fell backwards against the wall. He backed her up, the point of his sword aimed for her throat. Vaguely, she could hear the fight between Spike and Kendra, and she wondered if Xander got Giles out. Angelus smirked, victory written across his face.

'Now that's everything huh? No weapons…no friends…no hope.' He gloated.

Buffy felt peace. She knew now. She was ready. She closed her eyes. Angelus held the sword steady.

'Take all that away and what's left?' He drew the sword back and then thrust it directly at her face. Lightening quick, she caught the blade between her hands, sensing Spike approaching. She opened her eyes and smiled at Angelus.

'Us.' She replied, shoving the blade away forcefully and catching the dark vampire in the face with the hilt. He staggered backwards as Spike tackled him to the ground, fangs bared. He punched the older vampire and Spike tumbled away, rolling back to his feet. Buffy grabbed her sword and raised it, ready to bring it down on her former lover, to end it once and for all.

As she started to drop the blade, twin gasps came from the vampires and both of them collapsed to their knees. Angelus was on all fours in front of her, the growing portal behind him. He looked up, eyes glowing and Buffy paused, the sword still raised.

'Buffy?' Angel – she realises now that's him, the curse has worked – asked softly, looking around. 'What's going on?' He got to his feet as she stared. She'd been ready, she could have ended it, oh god, it would have been finished, but the portal, the portal was opening…..

_I was ready to kill Angelus._

_Not Angel._

'Where are we?' He asked. 'I don't remember.' He saw the cut on her arm, and drew her close as the sword went lax in her hand.

'Angel?' She asked, her heart breaking. Spike groaned on the floor, his eyes coming up to meet hers as Angel embraced her.

'I feel like I haven't seen you in months.' Angel mumbled. 'Everything's so muddled.' Buffy could feel the tears falling from her eyes as she looked at Spike over Angel's shoulder. The blond vampire said nothing, did nothing, but she knew that if needed he would kill Angel. He would take that responsibility off of her shoulders. His soul had returned along with Angel's, she could see that much. His eyes flickered to the portal, which was steadily growing.

Time was running out.

She pulled away from Angel, and he frowned, looking around. 'What's happening?' He asked again.

'Don't worry about it.' She whispered, brushing a hand down his face. 'I love you.'

Angel smiled. 'I love you.'

She almost broke then and Spike got to his feet, ready to aid her if she asked.

'Close your eyes.' She told Angel and he did, before she kissed him. For a few seconds they were alone, and then she pulled away. Spike hovered, his entire body tense. He could reach out and touch the other vamp, but he recognised Buffy's need to do this.

She pulled the sword back, tears pouring down her face and with a gut wrenching sob, she trust it through Angel and out the other side of his torso. His eyes burst open in shock and he looked down at the sword and then to her. Spike stepped into view as the portal slowly started to draw him backwards.

'Buffy?' She stepped back, sobbing as she watched.

Angel didn't make a sound as he was sucked backwards, his whole body shaking with the force of the demon's power. Spike began to move towards Buffy, knowing it was done and she would break, but a strong hand grasped his arm and he turned, trying to pull away from the desperate grip of Angel.

'Spike!' The vampire grunted, helplessly.

Buffy's eyes widened as the portal began to shrink and it pulled harder on its prey. Spike looked at her in panic, struggling to free himself. She lunged forward for him, her mouth open in a silent yell.

It was too late.

The portal closed.

And both souled vampires were consumed.

* * *

><p>She didn't know how long she had sat on the cold warehouse floor. Her legs and butt were numb and her head was thumping. Her face was swollen and red, and her throat hurt. So by the time Xander came in and found her, she guessed she'd been there a while.<p>

'Buffy?' He'd asked, moving slowly to crouch in front of her. She'd raised bloodshot eyes to him and he'd opened his arms. A split second later, he had an armful of sobbing Slayer. 'Oh Buffy.'

Several hours later, she was wrapped in a blanket on her mom's sofa a home; Giles, Willow, Xander and Ms Calendar gathered in the living room. Her mom was making tea for everyone.

The mood was morose, Buffy's recount of events difficult to process.

'So he grabbed Spike?' Xander asked quietly, and she nodded slowly.

'They were both cursed again.' Buffy said, her voice hoarse from crying.

'But there was only one orb. It was intended for Angel.' Jenny frowned. 'Spike didn't….'

'He didn't _need_ a soul.' The Slayer whispered. 'I know.'

Giles pulled off his glasses, wincing as he caught the gash on his face. The Watcher had discharged himself from hospital rather quickly, and he was now minus the ring finger on his left hand and was sporting two broken ribs to go along with all the bruises and cuts Angelus had dealt him. He could not say he would ever miss the darker vampire; but he was disheartened to learn of the demise of the other. He had called him a friend, as unlikely as it seemed.

'Spells are oft likely to go wrong. Spike believe he and Angel were linked. Perhaps it was deeper than we understood – than Spike understood.'

'Well he's dead now.' Buffy's voice broke and she felt like puking. 'It's my fault.'

'No, Buffy!' Giles said. 'Spike knew the risks.'

'If it's anyone's fault, it's Angel's.' Xander snorted. 'He dragged him in.'

Buffy bit her lip, grief threatening to overwhelm her.

'Laying blame is not helping.' Giles glared at the boy.

'What will help?' Buffy asked. 'I killed them both. I killed the man I love and I killed my friend.' She pulled the blanket closer, sobbing quietly. Willow moved to sit next to her and put her arm around the Slayer.

Revello Drive fell silent.

What else was there to say?

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>A lot of this chapter stayed true to canon. The outcome of Angelus' plot was different obviously. One thing that always irritated me about the Acathla plot was that Angelus never showed a hint of wanting to destroy the world before, and in fact, he'd ribbed the Master about how fun the world was. But then, I guess after a century, the soul drove him bug shaggin' crazy, as our resident bleached menace would say.<p>

This story is far from over. I hope to have the next chapter up soon. Needless to say, the majority of Season Three is plotted out. Updates may be a little slower after next week as I have uber amounts of training scheduled in at work BUT I have free evenings on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday as my husband and daughter are away without me :'( so I will probably spend that time distracting myself from the loneliness and pouring my heart into the continuation of this fic.

As always, reviews are appreciated and loved. Everytime I get a notification of a review, I do a little dance :) so thank you all again!


	15. Life And Lemons

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note: **This could get a little angsty...

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Life And Lemons<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Five Months Later<strong>

Sunnydale seemed the same. Same streets, same weather, same dumb citizens unaware of the same demons terrorizing them. Same school, same classes, same sleepless nights, same everything.

Very little had changed.

Except for her.

Summer had been tough. The supernatural activity had been low, as it tended to be in the hotter months. Buffy had taken the chance to be just a girl for a change, and had spent her days relaxing on the beach, shopping and even going on day trips with her mom. She'd been training with Giles, in the absence of demons and she'd even managed to crack a few books open. To the untrained eye, or even her well meaning best friends, Buffy was coping admirably well with the double loss of Angel and Spike.

But of course, they hadn't seen her cry.

The first few days, there had been questions and a constant array of company and entertainment, just in case she cracked a little more. She'd gotten a bit sick of all of them over those few days. She'd always been an independent spirit and being treated like spun glass was guaranteed to get on her nerves. Her mom had quickly picked up that Buffy did not want constant questioning or interrogation and she simply adhered to the one parental rule - she kept the freezer stocked with plenty of ice cream. Cookie dough, Buffy's flavour of choice. The shoes had helped too. Her mom knew her happy façade was just that, but she didn't pull her on it.

Giles had asked for her to tell him what had happened on multiple occasions, and Buffy had finally snapped after two weeks of the inquisitive Watcher and asked if he'd like to lose another finger. He'd quickly quietened and Buffy had apologised, explaining that she wanted to forget the whole thing and move on with her life. Jenny had been on hand, luckily, and no one soothed the Englishman quite like the gypsy woman he'd fallen in love with.

The PDA was actually starting to grate a little. Old people making out was just gross.

As the end of the summer had drawn near, Buffy had gone for a few days to see her father in LA. Being the absentee he was, he quickly indulged her every whim and she knew she wouldn't be going without plenty of new outfits and more shoes for the next year of school. Unfortunately, her trip to LA had also included a spontaneous trip into a demon underworld to save some kids from a slave ring.

Hey, ho, the life of a slayer was never dull!

Returning to Sunnydale saw Xander throwing a "my parents are away, let's party" party. No one had invited the zombies, but they turned up anyway. Normally that would be the talk of the school at the start of the new year, but Sunnydale being the city it was, no one mentioned it or even seemed to remember it. There was vague chatter of a "fight" but nothing else.

The first week of school had brought them martial arts experts, who also happened to be vampires. They'd led Buffy on a merry chase around town, and had given her more than a few bruises but it hadn't been too hard to dispatch them. She was finding her training regime to be very helpful in channelling her energies, making her a more efficient Slayer and giving her peace to the turmoil that seemed to chew up her insides every day.

The nightmares happened every night. She hadn't slept decently since before Angel lost his soul. They changed every night. Gore, bloodshed, torture, screams of her name.

Never Angel.

It was never him.

Spike was always the one screaming for her.

She tried not to think about it.

Nearly a month into the school term, they'd met Faith. And wasn't she a barrel of laughs? After about five seconds of her continually jubilant attitude towards slaying has Buffy disliking her. Just seeing the girl had reminded her of Kendra, and the way Faith was so brash, cocky and full of herself..._that_ reminded her of Spike.

She didn't _want_ to think about him. Thinking about Angel made her cry. Thinking about Spike made her want to die.

So Faith had arrived and brought her skeletons with her. After that had all died down, Buffy thought maybe the girl would adjust to not being the only slayer, that they'd maybe make a good team.

Or maybe not.

She was currently searching Sunnydale alone, whilst Faith babysat werewolf Oz in the library and the others went to the local morgue to check out a corpse that had been mauled by some kind of animal. Oz was a suspect, and Buffy wanted to clear his wolfy side as quickly as possible. So here she was, wandering through Sunnydale, alone with her thoughts.

She hated being alone with them. They were the worse kind of company.

Especially lately. Scott Hope, a _really_ cute boy in her class had asked her out, and she babbled her way through that conversation in a spectacularly dorky manner and she wasn't sure of the outcome. She wasn't sure she wanted to date. Not when she was still so...split down the middle.

Was she heart broken? She missed Angel, yes, she wished she hadn't had to kill him...but her head was still full of the things he'd done as Angelus. And the things Spike _hadn't _done. Buffy would never wrap her head around that one. How soulless Spike was pretty much the same as souled Spike.

How she'd come to care for him. She missed him now, maybe more than Angel. His snarky comments, the fact that he never called her by her name, everything single little thing he did that pissed her off...she was empty without it. Angel may have ripped her heart out...Spike took her spark with him when he was taken from her.

Willow had called her on it one night before school. She'd been staying over for a girls night and had found a page Buffy had torn out of the Watcher's diary. One of the pictures of Spike, one of the rare ones where he wasn't depicted in gore. It was from some thesis by a woman called Lydia something-British-for-a-last-name. Buffy had stumbled her way through that explanation, saying that she was trying to understand it all better. Willow had seen straight through her.

'Buffy, it's okay if you cared about him. We all miss him. Even Xander. Spike was good man, as rude as he was and no matter how much he smoked or drank. You were friends - it's natural you feel bad.'

That was the only time anyone had caught her crying over the summer.

She sighed and looked upwards, frowning that she couldn't see the stars. It was cloudy, looked like rain. She'd walked round most of Sunnydale tonight, and was now cutting through the woods by the lookout to get back home. She hated these woods.

A tingle on her neck made her stop and look around, her senses on high alert. There a vampire near her, and by the strength of the feeling she was getting, it was more than one. As the feeling signified the vampires drawing closer she frowned. It was familiar tingle, almost like...

Nope. She was crazy. Had to be.

A rustle in the bushes made her turn and a growling, snarling shape charged through the undergrowth and hit her full on, throwing her to the ground. She tried to push it off, realising it was actually a male vampire, but she couldn't get a good hold of it. She grit her teeth and grabbed it's brown hair, pulling it upwards and pushing it off...

And she scrambled backwards, horror on her face when she saw who it was. 'No.' She breathed, desperately trying to believe she was dreaming.

Another blur burst from the same bush and lunged for the first vampire. Buffy blinked, getting to her feet as the two forms rolled around the floor, biting and clawing chunks from each other. She looked around, found a hefty branch, and proceeded to hit them both round the head with it, rendering them both unconscious.

She stared down at the two vampires; one light, one dark.

Angel and Spike had somehow returned.

Both were severely wounded - to the point that if they had been human, they wouldn't have survived. Neither of them were wearing much; a pair of tattered trousers each. Angel was still vamped out, but Spike wasn't. She didn't know if he had been when he'd barrelled through the bushes to rip Angel a new one.

Buffy continued to stare. What the hell was she supposed to do now?

* * *

><p>Getting over the shock of seeing the two vampires returned had been hard enough; deciding what to do with them had been worse. Buffy had ended up dragging them both to the mansion. It reeked of death but the corpses were gone, and there was no big stone demon looming over the room to continue freaking her out. She never had found out what had happened to that creepy old statue.<p>

After some searching, she'd found some old manacles. She hadn't wanted to know why they were there or what they had been used for before; all she knew was that she had to secure the vampires. Angel needed securing just in case he wasn't Angel...and well, it didn't seem fair to treat them differently at the moment. They'd been to the same hell, chances are they were both as animalistic as each other at this point.

She'd checked them both, and made sure they were secure before leaving the mansion. She still had a killer to find and a werewolf to clear. She'd come back later with blood for them both and in the meantime, she'd ask Giles. She wasn't sure if he'd be too happy to see Angel, but she knew he'd want to help Spike.

Faith was still in the library when she returned, with her headphones in and dancing. She approached and tapped the other slayer on the shoulder, just to receive a punch in the face for her troubles. She backed away, holding her nose and scowled.

'Ow!'

The brunette slayer went wide eyed as she realised who she'd hit and pulled her headphones out, looking at least halfway guilty. 'Buffy! Are you okay? What are you doing here?'

'Bleeding internally. But I'll live.' Buffy said, rubbing her face.

'God, I'm sorry...I didn't hear you.'

'I figured. Ow - again.' Buffy muttered. 'I came to give you the rest of the night off.'

Faith smiled a little. 'Get out of jail free, huh? How come?'

Buffy shrugged. 'Can't sleep. Figured I'd cram for my French test. Found no sign of our beastie out and about either.'

'Cool. I was going nuts in here.' Faith grabbed her stuff from the table and tossed Buffy the cage key. 'I bet I can still get in a few good stakings before sunrise. Maybe I'll find the beastie we want?'

_Not now they're chained up somewhere safe you won't. _Buffy smiled. 'Knock yourself out. But not literally.'

Faith grinned and waved as she left. 'Later.'

The blonde waited until she was sure the other slayer had left and then moved to the filing cabinet in the office. She didn't know what book she needed, but she had to see if she could find out what had made them both return from the hell she'd sent them to.

* * *

><p>He yawned a stretched, greeting other teachers as he moved down the hallway to the library. He still got sympathetic looks when the teachers remembered his mangled hand, the result of his "mugging" the previous school year. He'd not forgotten it for one second, though, his mind still full of the pain of what Angelus had done to him, and seeing only part of what he had done to the young Slayer he had failed to protect.<p>

His thoughts were jumbled as he walked into the library, past the still naked sleeping Oz, and he knew he needed to get a decent nights sleep. Still, he was shocked to find Buffy, apparently finding that good sleep on the library table, books under her face. He'd never found her that interested in the books, until he saw the contents of the ones she had been looking at. She must have sensed him as he drew close, because she started to wake up.

'Hey...' She muttered, blinking and stretching. Then she looked down. 'Oh...yeah...the books...'

'"Exploring Demon Dimensions." "The Mystery of Acathala…"' He read out, his eyes moving to study her. She sighed, rubbing a hand over her face in tiredness.

'I...I don't know where to start.' She mumbled. Giles sat opposite her.

'I didn't even know you knew where to find this research material.' He pondered and Buffy shrugged.

'Seen you do it enough times. And I've been helping! With the research.'

'Buffy. What's happened?'

'I was out last night. Looking for our beastie. No word on that, by the way.' She caught the stern look he gave her and wilted a little. 'I was attacked.' She paused, almost afraid to tell him. 'Angel is back.' Giles didn't speak, so she thought she'd better drop the other bombshell too. 'And Spike. Both of them. I needed...I needed to know...how.'

Giles nodded. He wasn't going to be rolling out the red carpet for the return of Angel; Buffy was smart enough to realise that. But he'd be willing to help for Spike, right? She waited, wondering if he'd get angry.

'I'm glad you didn't attempt to hide this from me, Buffy. This could be dangerous. Where are they now?'

'Chained up. At the mansion. I didn't know what else to do. They were both pretty...crazed.'

'There's no record of someone returning from a demon dimension once the "gate" has closed. I can't imagine how it has happened or why. But time moves differently on those planes. It is likely that they have been there for...close to a hundred years.'

'So they might not be...they might be more beast than who they were before?' Buffy asked, afraid of the answer.

'Only a person with tremendous will and character could survive that and retain any semblance of self.' Giles paused. 'Spike might be okay.'

'But they might be lost causes?' Buffy's voice was tinged with fear now.

'Maybe… Maybe not. In my experience, there are two kinds of monsters. The first type can be redeemed. And, more importantly, they want to be redeemed…'

'And the second type?' She pressed. Giles looked at her, his gaze full of empathy.

'The second - is void of humanity. It can not respond to reason. Or love.' Buffy breathed slowly, absorbing this information.

'Okay. Will you...Willow should be here soon. I don't...don't tell anyone else yet, okay?' She pleaded.

'Very well.' He removed his glasses and Buffy's gaze was drawn to his mangled hand. She felt guilt well up. He hated Angel now, soul or not. 'I shall accompany you to check on them later. For now, I'll do some research whilst you go to class. May I suggest a shower first? You have some mud on your shirt.' Buffy looked down, frowning at the stain, but then she realised that Giles was using his fuddy duddy tactics on her.

'Wait. You're not mad?'

'No.' Giles shrugged. 'I have no reason to be. You told me straight away, and although I cannot say I am pleased that Angel is once again on this plane, whether he has his soul or not...Spike has been sorely missed. We may have only known him a few months, but we could all see the effect his loss, as well as Angel's, had on you, Buffy.' She nodded, feeling a little teary. Giles smiled gently. 'Go to class. We shall sort this out later.'

'Thanks Giles.' She turned, avoiding looking at naked Oz, who was beginning to stir. Willow walked in, just as Buffy was leaving.

'Hey, Buffy!' Willow brightened. 'Where's Faith?'

'I gave her the night off. Gotta run Will!' And the Slayer was gone, leaving a dazed Willow stood in the library with a bag of donuts. She watched the Slayer leave and then turned to Giles.

'That was abrupt.'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>I was going to wait. But I'm too impatient. And I then wrote two chapters in quick succession. I really hope you guys enjoy this. A lot of the reviews I have had are from people who were shocked that Spike got dragged in too. Got ya there didn't I? Hehehe. And many of the questions will be answered in upcoming chapters. Why did Angel drag him in? Hmmm...you'll have to wait and find out!<p> 


	16. Scars Visible

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note:** I told you I got impatient. Enjoy your double helping!

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Scars Visible<strong>

* * *

><p>It had been a hell of day, and it wasn't even close to being finished. Buffy had bumped into Scott as she'd left the library, hanging with his friend, Pete and Debbie. Scott was a nice guy, very sweet and very attractive, and clearly interested. Problem was…<p>

Buffy wasn't.

She dealt with too much heartache already and her head was a jumbled mess and bringing another guy into her already dangerous life would probably just cause more trouble and her mom's credit card was probably maxed out on ice cream.

So when Scott had pulled her to one side, away from his friends, making small talk and little jokes, telling her she looked amazing….she'd bolted. Like a bat out of hell.

Chances were he probably wasn't interested in the crazy chick now anyway.

After she'd left, she'd wandered the campus, thinking about going to the mansion to check on the vampires. But she'd said she'd go with Giles and she wasn't sure she could handle either of them if they were still feral. The shock of seeing them alone had thrown her the night before, she had barely any sleep and the little she did have was wrought with nightmares.

So she'd gone back to the school and bumped into Debbie. The girl had smiled and offered her a touch of support, and recommended Mr Platt, the school counsellor. He'd helped Debbie out a lot with her issues and Buffy had checked the time. He was still in office hours; the school day was only just beginning to wrap up. She'd thanked Debbie and headed for the office of the counsellor, knocking nervously before entering.

And then she'd found his body ripped to shreds.

No, her day was not going well. She was currently sat in the library, a little shaken from finding Mr Platt in that state, trying to narrow down their list of suspected killers. Which unfortunately, still included Oz. Giles was running over the incident report, and Faith stood by, having turned up just after the body had been found. Willow was sat next Buffy, offering support to her friend. She had no idea where Xander was this evening, and Ms Calendar was apparently doing end of day teacher stuff.

'The creature is especially brutal. I think the charming phrase the coroner used when describing Mr Platt was "pureed". But he did confirm that Platt had been dead just a few hours when Buffy found him.'

'Which means the guy was killed during the day.' Faith stated, her eyes sliding to the other slayer. Buffy didn't respond; there was still a dead man. The timing cleared Oz, certainly, but it meant that there was still a killer on the loose.

Willow pumped her fist in the air. 'Yes!' She noticed everyone looking at her. 'Sorry. I got a little….I mean, it's horrible. Horrible.'

'It's okay, Will.' Buffy sat up straight. 'We're all glad Oz is off the hook.'

Giles looked at the clock in concern. 'Indeed. But shouldn't he be here by now? The sun sets at half past five.'

'He was meeting Debbie for some class notes.' Willow offered. 'He'll be here soon.'

Faith raised a hand. 'So how are we gonna figure out what killed this guy? Lay a trap or something?' She folded her arms over her chest and Buffy sensed that she was frustrated. The other slayer was often restless, and she wasn't much of a daytime person. She revelled in the night, and Buffy didn't quite share her enthusiasm.

'Well, clearly we are looking for a depraved, sadistic animal.'

The library doors swung as Oz entered. 'Present.' He quipped, moving straight to Willow. She tilted her head at him and he shrugged. 'Hey, I may be a cold blooded jelly donut – but my timing's impeccable.' Willow stood, smiling widely at him.

'But you're not! It's a "kill in the day" monster. One hundred percent for sure!'

Oz absorbed the information, and then nodded once. 'Okay.' He hugged Willow tightly, his relief evident if not totally expressed.

Giles cleared his throat. 'I wish we had time to celebrate properly. Unfortunately, it's imperative that we find out who or what is doing this.' He paused, looking at his notes. 'Now. We have two victims. Jeff Walken, and now Platt. Perhaps they have something in common-'

'Missing internal organs?' Faith provided and Giles looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

'Besides that.'

'Debbie.' Oz said, suddenly. Everyone turned to him and he continued. 'Victim number one. Jeff. He was in Jazz band with us. They used to horse around.'

Faith's eye boggled. 'They were screwing?'

'I don't think so. But he hid her music comp book once.' The werewolf shrugged.

'Good enough. And we know Debbie knew Mr Platt. She was seeing him and she recommended him to me.' Buffy said, thoughtfully.

'She said he was good, but a bit of an ass.' Oz supplied. 'Add this and stir. I ran into her just now – sporting a nasty black eye.'

'Okay, pretend Debbie wanted Platt dead. Maybe he fought back.' Willow suggested, looking to Buffy.

'No I saw her just before I saw him. No black eye there. And he died in a instant. Didn't even lose his cigarette.' Buffy stood up. 'Could be – boyfriend Pete's the one doling out the punishment.' Everyone began to move at once.

'We have to find them both immediately.' Giles said

'Deb was in the hall a minute ago.' Oz replied, watching everyone mobilise.

'We should split up. Faith, you and I will team. Willow, you stick with Buffy.' The Watcher ordered.

Oz nodded. 'I'll…lock myself in the cage.'

Buffy and Willow hurried through the darkening school, heading straight for the girls locker room. As they entered, they found Debbie, stood in front of a mirror piling make up on her face.

'It's tricky covering a fresh shiner like that. You know what works?' Buffy asked, watching the other girl jump slightly and turn around.

'What?' Debbie answered warily, eyeing both the girls.

'Don't get hit.' Buffy deadpanned. Debbie frowned, and then turned, gathering up her things. Buffy moved closer, attempting to reach out to the other girl. 'What's going on Debbie? I'd be the farm you know.'

Debbie shook her head, still putting her things in her bag. 'You're wrong. I don't know anything.'

'Now – normally? I'd say – you want to play "I have a secret" – fine. But people are dying.'

There was a long paused as Debbie stopped, realising that her exit was effectively blocked by the two girls. She began to reply, stammering through her words.

'It's – it's not his fault. I mean, he's not himself when he gets like this….'

Buffy looked at Willow, who frowned back at her. 'You mean Pete.'

Debbie nodded. 'It's me. I make him crazy. He just does what he does because he loves me too much…'

Willow chimed in. 'So it is him? But weren't Mr Platt and Jeff murdered by an animal?'

Buffy understood suddenly, that Pete was not all he appeared to be. She fixed Debbie with a hard look, knowing the other girl had an explanation. 'Pete's…not like other guys, is he Debbie?'

Debbie's eyes widened, and she realised she had just given Pete up. She panicked, suddenly heading for the door. 'I've got to go.' Buffy stepped into her path, blocking her way.

'You have to talk to us. We can't help you until you do.'

'I didn't ask for your help.'

'Well, when are you going to?' Willow snapped. 'I mean, if Pete kills you, it'll be pretty much too late.'

'Debbie, we're running out of time.' Buffy said gently. Debbie stared at her, terror in her expression. 'Where can we find him, Debbie?'

It was clear that the girl was beginning to freak out. Her entire body was tensed and shaking, and she held onto her bag with white knuckles as she stared at the blonde in front of her, her face white and sweating. 'I – I don't know.'

Buffy shook her head. 'You're lying.'

Debbie tilted her chin up, trying to appear brave. 'What if I am? What are you going to do about it?'

Willow winced. 'Wrong question.'

Buffy pushed Debbie around, turning her to face the mirror. She didn't use her full strength, just enough to let the girl know she meant business. 'Look at yourself.' She demanded. 'Why are you protecting him?' Debbie looked away, avoiding her own face. 'Anyone who really loved you, wouldn't do this to you.'

'He's going to change. He promised.' Debbie pleaded.

'Maybe.' Buffy looked her in the eye. 'At best, fifty fifty. Lame odds when you're betting your life.'

Debbie stared, her bottom lip quivering. 'Would they take him someplace?' Her voice was meek. She was giving in.

'Probably.'

'Be away from Pete?' The girl was panicking again. 'I can't-'

'You can.' Willow interjected. 'And we'll both help you. Believe me, we understand. But you have to choose. It's got to be you over him.'

Debbie went still, her eyes growing cold, his hold on her and her dependency on him winning over. 'I could never do that to him. I'm his everything.'

Buffy was losing patience with the girl now. 'Great. While you guys enjoy your grim fairy-tale, two people are dead. Who's gonna be next?'

The battered girl didn't hear. She stared at herself in the mirror, wrapping her arms around herself. She shook her head, almost rocking from side to side as she repeated "he does love me" over and over. Buffy leaned down, taking the girl gently by the arm, looking at Willow.

'We'd better go. We have to find Pete.'

Debbie carried on repeating the words as Willow stared in concern. 'I think we broke her.' The redhead surmised.

Buffy shook her head sadly. 'I think she was broken before this.'

* * *

><p>Walking into the library to find a werewolf and some rage contorted version of Pete duking it out was unexpected to say the least. Buffy had left the small group, as they'd found Giles and Faith returning at the same time, and she'd grabbed the tranquilliser gun, intent on taking both monsters out. But Debbie had ruined that plan by yelling a warning to her boyfriend and grabbing the gun.<p>

The shot went wild and hit Giles, who looked at the dart and muttered something before hitting the deck. Buffy had shoved Debbie away, and the girl had slipped out of the library, as Oz-wolf had the same idea. Pete was caught off guard as Buffy slammed into him, and punched him hard. He'd returned a blow, and then run for the stacks, knocking over a bookcase to prevent her following. She almost snarled at the obstruction, before turning and throwing the tranquilliser gun to Faith.

'I'll take Pete.'

'I got the wolf.' Faith replied and the two Slayer headed in opposite directions, Willow following the darker Slayer to look for her boyfriend.

Buffy chased through the stacks, and into the hallways, keeping Pete in her sights. He turned suddenly, heading down a corner and she followed, losing him quickly. She stomped her foot in frustration, wondering where he went. She looked around, and her gaze was drawn upwards, seeing blood smeared on the wall. She frowned, moving over to the wall and the window near the smear of blood. Bingo…

Climbing through the window and following his trail of blood wasn't difficult, and she found herself outside a shed. She opened it cautiously, and sighed as she spotted Debbie's lifeless corpse on the floor. If the girl had just listened…..another dead body. It was surprised how adjusted she was becoming to all these dead bodies. It could not be normal.

A punch to the side of her face caught her off guard, and she fell backwards with Pete landing on top of her, pummelling her with his rage infused strength. He was yelling, punching, and Buffy couldn't make out what he was saying or get a hit in herself. She raised her arms, protecting herself from the blows, desperately thinking of a way out.

The weight suddenly lifted from her and she held her arms in place for a second, listening as the scuffle continued away from her. She slowly dropped her protective shield, looking over to see Pete fighting with a pale form. At first she thought it was Angel, but the figure was too lithe, too compact. The hair wasn't quite as blond as the last time she'd seen him and he was scarred all over. Spike.

He fought like an animal as he beat Pete down, and then grabbed the boys neck, strangling him. He tightened his hold and the monstrous form of Pete began to struggle, weakened, gasping. After a few minutes, he stopped breathing altogether, and Spike dropped the body, stepping back, watching as the boy returned to his non-raging self. He baulked, gagging, and then turned, vomiting into a shelving unit before dropping to his knees. He remained there, huddled on the floor as Buffy got to her feet, approaching him slowly. He didn't seem to know she was there until she put a hand on his shoulder. He turned, still on his knees, and saw her.

His face crumbled and he started crying, leaning in to hold onto her tightly, wrapping his arms around her waist.

'Spike?' She asked quietly and he cried harder.

'Oh god. I found you. I found you.' He whispered. 'Buffy…'

She stared, not knowing what to do. Her own tears began to fall as she just stood there, the distraught vampire clinging to her like his life depended on it.

* * *

><p>Giles was silent as they approached the mansion. Buffy had made him aware of Spike's escape, and he had not said anything on the matter. He'd merely asked if Angel was still restrained and she had replied that when she had returned Spike to the mansion, Angel was still chained up but seemed slightly more coherent. They had stopped by the butchers to grab some blood for the pair of them and had headed over at dusk.<p>

She'd moved Spike away from Angel for the time being, just in case they fought again. He'd seemed to be in shock after what had happened in the shed with Pete, and had barely stopped crying even after she left. So she wasn't sure what state he would be in when they arrived.

Angel was stood, pulling at the chains when they got there, and Buffy waited at the door with Giles until the vampire noticed them. His eyes brightened at the sight of Buffy and he rushed forward, only to be stopped by the manacles. He gave her a questioning look.

'Buffy?' He asked, and she nodded. 'What's going on?' She didn't step forward, unsure of his condition.

'Are you Angel or Angelus?' Giles asked, his tone cold. Angel looked at him, his eyes flickering to the Watcher's damaged hand and he winced, almost unnoticeably, obviously remembering what he had done.

'I have my soul.' He mumbled, and Buffy almost sagged in relief. Giles nodded, then turned to Buffy.

'Where is Spike?'

'Spike?' Angel asked, confused. Buffy pointed towards the end of the large room.

'Second door on the left. It was the only usable room.' Giles nodded. 'I'll come and check on him in a minute, I…I need to talk to Angel.'

The librarian nodded and walked past Angel, keeping his distance from the brunette vampire as he stared in confusion. He left the slayer with her former lover, slipping into the bedroom that she had said Spike was in. The blond vampire was resting on the bed, which had seen better days. The vampire himself looked like he had certainly seen better days. He was lying on his side, and Giles could see the damage that a century in hell had dealt him. His once shockingly white hair was a dirty blonde, and he was in desperate need of a shower. Scars covered the majority of his pale skin. Overall, compared with the state of Angel as Giles had seen him, Spike appeared to have suffered worse in their tenure in hell than the other vampire.

'Spike?' He asked quietly, wondering how his friend's psyche had held up.

The vampire stirred, slowly opening his eyes to the darkened room.

'Giles?' He rasped, his voice rusty from disuse. 'That you?'

'Yes.' The watcher confirmed. Spike slowly sat up, wincing.

'So I'm back.' He stated, not really asking. Giles didn't answer, he just watched the vampire slowly swing his legs over the side of the bed. He sniffed the air gently, frowning. 'Angel too?' He asked. Giles nodded. 'Figures.'

'Do you know how you returned?'

Spike shook his head, and his eyes dropped to the floor. 'I suppose this means I didn't dream it. I killed that boy.'

Giles grimaced, his thoughts flashing briefly to Pete. 'Unfortunately so.'

'She should have killed me.' Spike muttered and Giles almost took a step back in surprise.

'Buffy? Why? The boy was violent and responsible for three deaths. There was no guarantee he would have been redeemed.'

'Doesn't matter. Gypsy restored my soul. Just more blood on my hands.' The vampire muttered, his eyes unfocused and glazed over.

'Spike, you have returned from a hell dimension of unspeakable torment. And from what I understand, you saved Buffy. Twice, if what she tells me is correct.' Giles moved forward, coming to stand in front of the battered vampire.

'Twice?' Spike raised his eyes to the watcher, confusion on his face.

'Angel attacked her in his feral state. Both of you were…like animals. She may have been able to subdue him herself, but you stopped him before he could do anything. And that boy you….he was attacking her. He would have killed her, had she not found a way to escape.'

Spike absorbed this quietly, his hands fisting in the bedclothes. Giles took a seat next to him, holding out the container of blood in the paper bag he had brought. The vampire looked at it, and at the space on his hand where his finger was missing.

'He did that?'

There was no question of whom he spoke about. Giles nodded, and Spike sighed, taking the container.

'I should have stopped him.'

'I am still alive.' Giles said, 'And Jenny is too. At some point, we all owed our lives to you.' Spike didn't say anything to this; he simply reached over and placed the container on the floor beside the bed.

'I don't want to stay here.' The vampire whispered. 'Not with him. And not with this stench of death.'

Giles nodded. 'I believe your flat is still accessible. I kept an eye on it for you.'

'You never knew I was coming back.'

The watcher smiled. 'But we are friends, are we not? And that is what friends do after all.'

Spike almost smiled. 'You have strange taste in friends, Watcher.' The man nodded.

'I suppose I do.'

The door creaked open and both men looked up as Buffy entered. She looked upset, but didn't say anything. 'Hey.' She greeted Spike. 'Feeling better?' Her eyes moved to the unopened container on the floor and she frowned. Angel had drank his straight away, which was odd as he'd never drank blood in front of her before. 'You haven't…' Spike followed her gaze and shrugged.

'It can wait.'

The Watcher and the Slayer shared a look but neither said anything. Giles looked back to Spike. 'So you wish to return to your apartment?'

'Yeah. If anything, I could use some clothes.'

'What happened to your duster?' Buffy asked. The vampire shrugged.

'Don't know. A lot of it…' He closed his eyes briefly. 'It's a blur.' He was lying and they both knew it but they didn't press further. Giles was itching for details, but he wasn't a fool as to broach the subject whilst it was still raw.

'I'm going to wait outside, Buffy. Spike, when you are feeling better, perhaps you would join me for a drink one evening? I have a nice bottle of Glenfiddich stashed away?' The vampire looked at him, not able to raise a smile just yet but he nodded in acknowledgement. Giles smiled tightly and left the room, as Buffy stayed by the door, her eyes lingering on the injured vampire.

'You seem to be pretty banged up. Angel doesn't look that bad.' She said quietly. Spike shrugged lightly but didn't clarify. 'So you're going back to your apartment?'

'Yeah. I'll leave in a bit. Once I've gotten a bit of strength up.'

'Okay.' She chewed her lip. 'There's some new stuff going on. Another…' She started and then stopped, thinking he probably didn't want to hear about Faith right now. 'Anyway, I'll catch you up when you're feeling better.'

'Sure thing, Slayer.' He wouldn't meet her eyes and she felt a bit sick. He blamed her. He had spent a century in hell and he knew it was her fault. She wasn't fast enough or smart enough and now he bore the wounds from her betrayal. He'd never look at her again.

Buffy choked back a sob. 'Okay. I'll…er…I'll see you later.' He shrugged, remaining on the bed as she slipped out of the room. Angel watched as she walked back into the hall, his eyes following her every move. She'd unchained him before and he had moved to stand in front of the fireplace.

'You're leaving?' He asked and she nodded.

'I need to patrol. I'll come back with some more blood tomorrow okay?'

His mouth drew into a thin line. 'What about Spike?' He asked, his tone sharp. She looked at him, seeing how much better he looked compared to the other vampire. How had he escaped all the wounds that Spike bore?

'He's going back to his apartment.'

'Oh.' Angel looked dejected. 'Is he okay? I sorta remember seeing him but…not.'

'He's alive. Bit worse for wear.' She shrugged and then looked at the door. 'I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?'

'Okay.' He watched her leave, then turned to the door concealing Spike, his mind whirling. He took a step forward and hesitated. Another step.

Before he knew it, his hand was on the door.

And he opened it.

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><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

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><p>There you go. Your double helping for the weekend. Maybe you'll get some chocolate sprinkles in the form of another chapter before the week starts. Unless my arm stops working after I get my new tattoo tomorrow ^.^<p> 


	17. Bittersweet Homecoming

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note:** I'm not sure when I can get the next chapter up. Things are bit mayhemish in RL.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Bittersweet Homecoming<strong>

* * *

><p>Angel wasn't sure what he was expecting when he opened the door to the room that contained Spike. His senses were still fuzzy from whatever had happened to him, and he'd yet to register the blond vamp on his radar. So when Buffy had mentioned that he was here, he'd been a bit thrown, especially when she'd shown specific concern for the other vampire. He'd vaguely noticed her return the previous night, and Spike may have been with her, but the details were as slippery as that really good dream you strived to remember when you woke up.<p>

As he opened the door, he looked straight to the bed, and saw the blond vampire, lying on his side with his back to the door. The muscles of his back, visible against the pale skin and almost skeletal frame, were tense, indicating that he was aware of Angel's presence in the room. Angel didn't say anything straight away, his eyes focused on the healing cuts and welts on the other vampire, and the unopened jar of blood on the floor.

He'd been starved when he'd returned from whatever hell dimension Acathla had dumped him into. All he remembered was the red hot burn of hunger in his stomach, the pounding of the demon against its cage inside him. So when Buffy had handed him the blood, he'd simply taken it with a slight nod and swallowed it in five long gulps. He was still hungry now, but it was tolerable.

Spike rolled over, his blue eyes clashing with Angel's as he regarded the younger vampire.

'Something I can help you with, Angelus?'

'You know I'm not him.' Angel sighed.

'You're always him.' Spike looked at the vampire strangely. He was in a similarly dressed state to himself, but he was nowhere near as battered. Spike could feel the deep ache in his bones, the weight he'd lost, the hunger that had almost carved a hole in his insides. He knew he'd been through hell, quite literally, and he looked it, but he was patchy on the details. All he remembered clearly was that he had not seen Angelus since the bastard had grabbed him in a desperate bid to escape him fate.

'I'm not.' Angel argued, folding his arms. Spike sighed.

'Whatever. You keep up that line. I won't be following your lead anytime soon. "Spikelus" just don't have the same ring to it.' He rolled onto his back, almost snarling as he caught a particularly bad gash on his spine.

Angel frowned at him. 'Buffy said you were leaving.'

'Got my own place.' Spike muttered. 'No need to stay here.' He didn't look at the younger, who was frowning deeply at this point.

'I...never mind.' The brunette shook his head. Spike's head lolled to the side as he regarded Angel with curiosity.

'What?'

'Nothing.' Angel said, holding his hands under his biceps, shrugging tightly. 'I just...I guess I thought we were in the same place. And I thought maybe it would be better for us to stick together this time.'

Spike swung his legs round, resting his hands on the edge of the bed, leaning on his arms. Angel's eyes moved a deep wound on the shoulder of the smaller man, and he winced internally at the damage that had been inflicted. How had Spike ended up like this and Angel didn't have more than a superficial scratch and bruise on him?

'This time? You mean like when we both got cursed?' Spike scoffed. 'I hardly think we're a fantastic team, Angelus.' Angel made to protest but Spike cut him off. 'Oh stuff it with that bollocks. You can spend the next eternity separating yourself from the demon, if it makes you feel better about everything. But cut the shit with me. I _know _how it works, remember? I've been there and I'm here now. You want the excuse for not being able to control yourself, then have at it, mate.'

'It's not an excuse-'

'Don't care.' Spike cut him off. 'I'm not staying. Couldn't bare you from the second you were turned, I'm not sticking around now.'

Angel looked fairly shocked at the information. 'But, Spike-'

'No. No.' Spike glared at him. 'I'm. Not. Staying. I'm not your friend, Angelus, never was. Never will be. I tolerated you for the sake of Darla, I tolerate you now for the sake of a Slayer that loves you.' He levelled blue eyes with the big brown ones that belonged to Angel. 'You have no idea...' He cut his words off. He was in no mood to share with Angel now, and he suspected that Angel knew at least some, if not all, of the story anyway. 'I'm going. End of.'

Angel looked like he was going to argue for a second. Then his mouth set into a thin line. He nodded and left.

Spike stared at the door for a long time after it shut. He smelt the blood at the side of the bed.

Then he turned and went back to sleep.

* * *

><p>Buffy turned from Faith as the other girl continued to pound on the makeshift punchbag that Giles had set up. She had originally come here to train, but her thoughts were so full of...everything, that she'd given up and headed for the common room to chill out for a bit before her next class. Moving out of the corridor, she saw Cordelia chatting to another student about votes for Homecoming.<p>

She'd completely forgotten about the dance in all that had been going on. She remembered being Homecoming Queen at Hemery and for a fleeting moment, she missed the limelight and the ease that came with being the popular normal girl, and she longed for it, so badly.

Cordelia caught sight of her and raised a hand quickly. 'Excuse me one sec, Buffy!' She smiled brightly at the boys she'd been chatting to. 'Er, photos. Yearbook. Willow and Xander told me to tell you.'

'Oh.' Buffy paused. Cordelia effectively dismissed her and went back to her conversation about Homecoming votes. The Slayer looked towards the lounge, and ran a hand through her hair, feeling it to be suitable for a photo. She was wearing her training trousers, but the camisole could pass for a photo of the shoulders up.

How weird would it have been if she'd missed the photos? Demoted to just a grey square with a white question mark in the middle of it. She didn't really want to think about it.

After having her little photo for the yearbook taken, she headed to the library, where it seemed Cordelia was dictating jobs out to the others. Buffy rolled her eyes but smiled at the enthusiasm of the other girl, wondering how vicious it could have gotten if Buffy _had_ decided to enter the fray. As it was, she didn't think she had the energy.

Cordelia caught the look and narrowed her eyes. 'What?'

Buffy smiled brightly. 'Nothing. Just thinking. At Hemery I was Prom Princess, I was Fiesta Queen. I was on the cheerleading squad. And the yearbook was, like, a story of me. Now it's senior year, and aside from my little picture on one-eighth of a page, I'm just Buffy.' She sat down. 'For once, that's kinda nice.'

The cheerleader looked at her blankly. 'So...'

'You're totally not interested?' Xander asked. Buffy shook her head and yawned a little.

'My inner prom queen is extinct. Oh, but if you need anything killed, I'm ya gal. Except...I can't kill the competition.' She backtracked. Cordelia almost looked disappointed.

'That would have been easier.' She huffed. 'Anyway, how's the database coming, Willow?'

'Good. I've got the crisis zones laid out.' The redhead said, sending a sidelong look to Buffy, almost apologetically. Buffy smiled. In another life, maybe she would have been bothered, riled up, and eager to compete with Cordy over this whole silly thing...but she had more things on her mind than bribing people with muffins and false promises.

'I've got your new flyers.' Xander offered his girlfriend, who nodded.

'Buffy.' Willow's voice snapped Buffy out of the thoughts she was in. 'You are still coming to Homecoming right?'

The Slayer thought for a moment. 'Yeah, I guess. I don't have a date but...'

'So, go stag. It's the fashionable thing.' Cordelia shrugged. 'We're hiring limos.'

'I think Faith is coming.' Willow shrugged. 'And a limo ride is always fun.'

Buffy smiled slowly. 'Yeah. A night off sounds good, actually. Not often I get to have non-vampire slash demon related fun.' Her face brightened in realisation. 'Oooo, this means shopping, right?'

* * *

><p>She'd stayed out of the way after Hollie had called Cordelia a vapid whore and avoided the whole Homecoming thing. Except for the shopping of course. She'd desperately avoided the mansion, and all of Cordelia's "campaign" meetings, and in all honesty, it had been nice to have some time to herself. She'd patrolled, she'd shopped, she'd bought a gorgeous dress for the dance (blood red, strappy and sexy, if she was honest) and then spent about three hours in the mall just looking at shoes.<p>

It was nice to relax. Let Faith take the reigns on the slayer thing. Try not to think about the vampires at the mansion. Try not to think about what they had both been through. Definitely not thinking about the conflicted feelings that she felt for both of them. She loved Angel, she truly did but...now it felt like that love was different to how it had been. And her feelings towards Spike...

Wait. She wasn't supposed to be thinking about this. Let's be shallow for a while. Shoes.

Of course, there were only so many shoes in Sunnydale to distract her. So naturally, whilst she'd been doing her make up for the dance, and graciously turning down her mother's offer of assistance with her hair (her mom was great and all, fashionable for her age, but hair was _not_ her strong suit), her thoughts had drifted backwards to the off-limits subject.

Spike. Angel. Their time in hell.

The subject was like a weed in her mind and she was all out of Weedol. She knew Spike had moved back to his apartment, and she also knew he'd checked in with Giles, but he hadn't stopped long. She'd felt him a couple of times on patrol, but he'd quickly disappeared every time. Angel had done nothing but brood when she'd taken him blood. She hadn't dared take Spike anything.

It felt like he was avoiding her and if she was completely honest with herself, she was too scared to broach the subject with him. Too scared to approach him.

But there was a hole inside her that burnt.

She missed him. She missed her friend. In a way...it was like he'd never come back from Hell at all.

A beep outside made her jump and she grabbed her lipgloss and her clutch bag, bidding her mom as goodbye as she ran down the steps. As she reached the limo, she took a deep breath and opened the door, only to find a lone Cordy sat inside. Buffy frowned.

'Hey, Cordy. Where's Faith? I thought the limo was picking her up first?'

The cheerleader shrugged. 'Apparently she was a no-show. I took the orchid.'

'They bought us corsages?' Buffy asked, confused. Cordelia shrugged again. Buffy picked up the flower and slipped it over her wrist, shutting the door behind her. Silence reigned as the limo moved off. Buffy and Cordelia had never been close, despite the almost-friendship that had blossomed upon her original arrival in Sunnydale. 'So how is the campaign going?' She asked after a long and uncomfortable silence. 'I know it was getting a little...er...tense there?'

Cordelia waved a hand. 'Nothing I can't handle.' She sniffed a little. 'I was a bit shocked to be honest. I thought you'd run for it. Give it an empowerment go or something.'

'I've got...some stuff on my mind.' Buffy admitted. 'I guess I just didn't have the time. Maybe I'll run you for Prom Queen.'

Cordelia laughed. 'You can try, Guacamole Queen.'

Buffy smiled back. 'So are we picking the others up?' She asked and Cordelia looked out of the window as the car came to slow stop.

'I guess so. I don't know where we are at the moment. The windows are tinted, can't see out.'

The driver's door opened and then slammed, and footsteps echoed back to them as the driver legged it. Buffy glanced at Cordy, concern on her face as she opened the door and climbed out. The cheerleader followed, swinging the door shut behind her. Both girls looked around, finding themselves in the middle of the woods, an old tv and VCR sat on a rock a few feet away.

'What is this?' Cordelia huffed.

'What's massively wrong with this picture?' Buffy said, approaching the TV and reading the note on the VCR, indicating she should "press play". She did so and a black man, whom she recognised as Mr Trick, the vampire that had caused half the trouble when Faith had come to town, appeared on the screen. He had a creepy grin on his face as he began to speak.

'Hello ladies. Welcome to Slayerfest '98.' Both Buffy and Cordelia stared in disbelief. 'What is a Slayerfest you ask? Well, as in most of life, there's the hunters and the hunted. Can you guess where you two fall? From the beginning of this tape, you have exactly thirty seconds -' He stopped to check his watch. '-no, that's seventeen now - to run for your lives. Faith. Buffy. Have a nice death.' His face disappeared and the word "Slayerfest" written in red and white replaced him.

Cordelia gaped. 'Hello? How stupid are you people? She's a Slayer!' She pointed at Buffy. 'I'm a Homecoming Queen!'

No one replied, but a gunshot was heard in the distance and a second later, the monitor exploded. Cordelia shrieked. The two of them took off running.

* * *

><p>Cordelia hadn't won the Homecoming title. She'd been more than pissed about it, after an evening filled with running from demons, vampires and creepy German guys with guns. Needless to say, Buffy was not her favourite person.<p>

Buffy couldn't say she'd been happy about the entire deal either, as the dress she'd spent a _lot_ of allowance on had been ruined and she'd spent the majority of the dance running for her life. Which pretty much summed up the entirety of her existence.

The day after the Homecoming dance, she'd wandered around Sunnydale. Saturday tended to be dead, as the town seemed to suffer an "evil hangover" - all the demons and vampires were apparently too tired from the wrongdoings of the night before to bother for the rest of the weekend. Fridays and Tuesdays were the most eventful around here. She'd never really figured out why.

It wasn't until she was standing on the lawn of the Skinner Street apartments that she realised where she feet had taken her. She was a bit shocked, truth be told, that she'd ended up here. If anywhere, she'd imagine that her feet would have taken her to Angel. She hadn't seen him for a couple of days. But then, she'd not seen Spike either.

Without even thinking, she'd made it up the stairs and was standing outside the apartment. It was daytime, and she wasn't sure if he still had his funky daylight ability any more. She wasn't sure she should even be here.

Her choice to leave was taken away as Spike answered the door. He was fully dressed this time - and looking awful. His eyes were sunk and his skin sallow. He looked like he'd gone a few rounds with a Fyarl demon. His eyes held none of the life she'd once seen in them, and it hit her hard as he stood back, contemplating her with a deadness he'd never held.

'Spike?' She asked, slowly.

'Slayer.' He returned, blinking. The curtains were open in the living room and he was stood in the sunlight, so obviously he'd kept that nifty trait.

'You okay?'

He blinked again, as if she was nuts to ask that question. 'Fine, ta. Why?'

'Can I come in?' Spike hesitated, then nodded, standing aside to let her enter. She walked into the living slowly, noticing the empty liquor bottles and bloodied pieces of fabric - he'd been hurt at some point. She turned, frowning at him. 'You've been avoiding me.'

'Not like you've gone out of your way to see me.' He pointed out. 'Except for now.'

'And this?' She gestured to the mess around her. 'This isn't the Spike I knew. You look like he-' Maybe not such an appropriate phrase, considering where he had been. 'You look awful. Have you gotten hurt?' He shrugged, avoiding her eyes, not replying. She grimaced. 'This is not the Spike I knew. You've given up.'

'The Spike you knew went through decades of torture in a Hell dimension.'

'Yeah? And what about that? Why were you so cut up and Angel looked like he'd walked through a prickly hedge and that was about it?' She pressed. 'Why isn't he so...so...'

'Damaged?' Spike offered and she nodded. 'I don't know. I remember...bits...pieces...but...' He squeezed his eyes shut. 'I don't want to think about it.'

'You don't remember anything?' She asked, feeling a little impatient. 'Come on Spike. I know I was too slow, I didn't save you. I'm sorry, you have no _idea_how sorry I am. But we were friends, weren't we?'

Spike looked at her. 'It was _not _your fault.' He stated, his voice strong and clear, but only for a second. 'And...we were. Friends. I mean...' He sighed, running a hand over his face. 'I remember pieces. I know...they...' He almost choked on his words, falling to the sofa, a bottle clinking as it bounced off and hit the floor. Buffy watched him with confusion in her eyes. He looked down, then looked up at her. 'I spent a century fighting for the sake of a dead woman. That was hard, no doubt. But then I spent a hundred years being tortured in a hell dimension. And again, not a walk in the park. But the worst thing?' He took and breath and Buffy waited for him to continue. 'It wasn't Cath's face that kept me going, that I saw in the depths of a place I can't begin to describe.' Another breath, and she waited, her heart pounding so hard in her head, she thought it might explode. He looked at her with those crystalline blue eyes.

'It was yours.'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>Arrrgggghhhh. Here we go. To those who were hoping I'd totally rewrite Homecoming...there was no point. I loved the original episode but hated the vapidness of Buffy when she decided to run. And I hope you accept my explanation of why she didn't aim for the tiara this time! Interestingly enough, I got annoyed with this chapter when I couldn't fit Oz's line of "As Willow goes, so goes my nation" because it's just an awesome line!<p> 


	18. When It Rains

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note: **I'm going to apologise for the littering of typos and errors that seem to be accompanying this story. I do proof read myself, but sometimes the eyes become a little tired from staring at computer screens and I miss things. All my fics are un-beta'd at the moment, so please understand, to err is human after all!

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>When It Rains<strong>

* * *

><p>There was no sound in the apartment except for her breathing. Spike's revelation hung heavy in the air and so did his guilt. Buffy stared at him as he dropped his eyes to the bottle covered carpet, refusing to look at her.<p>

'Spike...' She whispered, barely more than a breath. 'I...'

He cut her off, standing sharply. He failed to hide the pain in the movement and Buffy felt a bit sick. He held a hand up.

'No.' He sighed. 'I'm...I'm done with this town. Saved the world, yadda yadda. I've turned my back on things that...' He shook his head, as if trying to clear the cobwebs and pressed his palm hard against his forehead. Buffy watched him with wide eyes, unsure of how to say whatever thoughts were stampeding through her head. The words would not form, well, not a proper sentence anyway. If she spoke now, she was fairly certain only a few garbled syllables would escape her lips. 'Staying here...fighting...seeing something I am _not worthy of._ It's torture. I can't...' He looked at her then, dropping his hand and his eyes were dead. All the emotion and his very _soul_ that she could normally see - gone. 'You have Angel back. You don't need me anymore.'

He turned away from her, allowing no argument, even as her mouth opened and closed like a fish. Spike went into his bedroom and shut the door. She heard him fall heavily to the bed but she didn't move.

She had Angel.

_Did she?_

And more importantly, even if she did have him...

Did she _want_ him anymore?

* * *

><p>She'd returned home after Spike's...confession. In all honesty, it took a lot not to kick his bedroom door down but she figured it would be best to leave him be and besides, she had no clue what to say to him anyway. The way he'd looked at her...<p>

Buffy shook her head. No. _You're being stupid._ She chewed her lip in thought as she picked through her weapons chest for supplies. Her mom was out, as was usual for a weekend. She was supposed to be meeting Giles for patrol; usually he didn't accompany her, but he'd offered to coach her for her SATS as well as fighting the forces of darkness.

She wondered if she had time to drop in on Angel. Glancing towards the window, she made up her mind, and climbed out onto the roof, bag in tow. About halfway across the lawn, she paused, frowning. 'Why in the hell did I go through the window?' She shook her head at her own stupidity and continued on her way.

Her thoughts were consumed by one vampire as she went to visit another. Spike had gone through a hundred years of torture and he said _she_ was what kept him going. Not the dead woman he'd loved faithfully for over a century. Her. Plain ole' Buffy. It wasn't a grand confession of love, but it meant that _she _meant more to him than she'd realised. His profound resistance to hanging out with them before, even getting to know them against his will - she'd come to trust and rely on him towards the end and it had taken her by surprise. Or maybe it hadn't. She cared about him as a friend, she knew that much for definite. She _knew_ Spike was not a threat, even if he did lose his soul. Maybe his soul wasn't the important part after all. Although, god knows it was with Angel.

But the look on Spike's face when he had admitted that it had been her...he'd looked so torn. So broken. So _guilty._ How can he feel guilt? Catherine Callan had been dead well over a century. No one felt love that deeply.

Surely they didn't.

The mansion loomed ahead and Buffy checked her watch as she rushed to the door. Sunset was in half an hour and she was supposed to meet Giles at Restfield. It would only take five minutes to get there. So she could check on Angel quickly with no problems.

Walking into the building, she found Angel resting on a sofa in front of a fire, reading a book. He looked up as she entered and smiled, coming to stand in front of him. She liked open fires. They always felt...cosy.

'Hey.' She said, almost shyly as he put the book down, standing to greet her.

'Hey yourself.' Angel replied. 'What brings you over?'

'Just wanted to check in is all.' She looked him over. 'You look better. Do you feel better?'

'Mostly. Still...weak.' He gave a half smile, one of the ones that used to make her knees weak. Now she felt...sickened. How come he was standing here like this when Spike was an emotional and physical wreck?

She frowned, moving away from him a little. 'Angel - do you know what happened to Spike?'

The vampire froze at the mention of the others name, a dark shadow passing over his face. 'I remember the portal. I tried to pull myself free and I pulled him in with me.' He sighed. 'I never meant to, Buffy.'

She nodded. 'I know that.'

Angel slid to the side of the fire, looking into the flames. 'Things are still fuzzy around the edges. I don't remember seeing Spike. I could...I don't know..._feel _ him I guess, in the way I've always been able to. The sense of family never leaves really. But I never saw him. Although...' He trailed off, unsure of how to continue, not meeting her eyes. Buffy stood on the other side of the fireplace, her eyes drawn to the flames for a second before she stared at her former lover.

'Although?' She prompted.

Angel squeezed his eyes tight. 'It hurt him more. Whatever had us...it picked what hurt the most. And I didn't form connections. Alive or dead. Except for you.' He looked at her then and she shivered. 'It taunted me, did some physical damage, I know that much. No details are clear any more. After a while...you kind of block it out.' He looked away from her. 'I don't think Spike did.'

'You don't think Spike did what?'

'Spike's always been odd. Ever since I was turned, even Darla told me. She'd sensed something in him, that's why she turned him but then...' He shook his head. 'None of this matters.'

'It does.' Buffy said softly. 'I went to see him today.' Angel's head whipped up, and she swore she saw anger for a second. 'Just to check on him. He's a mess. Drinking, and not the right kind. He's not healing.'

'Spike's always liked the booze, Buffy, that's nothing different.'

'But the lack of feeding? He's wilting away to nothing. Can't you help him?' She pleaded, wondering how bad this must sound to the other vampire. He looked at her, a stubborn expression on his face.

'Have you _met_ Spike? He doesn't accept help. He's a lone wolf. You try and help him, all you do is piss him off because he knows he's vulnerable. You have to wait. He has to ask you. Do you know how many times I had my ass handed to me by him even when he wasn't in top physical form?' He huffed. 'He made it clear before he left that he can't stand me, Buffy, he wouldn't accept my help if his life depended on it.'

Buffy chewed her lip. 'That's the problem.' She paused. 'I think it might.'

* * *

><p>Two days he'd spent in this room, and he was starved. But right now, he'd rather melt away to nothing than be faced with the outside world.<p>

_How could he betray her like that?_

She'd been his everything. It may not have been for long, but he'd fallen long and hard for Cath. He'd stayed faithful to her memory. He'd sworn never to let himself love another.

And here he was with feelings for not only another _girl_ but another _Slayer_.

He was thoroughly buggered.

He couldn't stay in Sunnydale. He needed to leave before her and Angel started making moon eyes at each other again. He couldn't stay in that damn mansion, and apparently instead of sticking to haunting his dreams, Buffy Summers had to turn up on his doorstep, with her bouncy shampoo commercial hair and that vanilla scent of hers, and those hazel eyes...

Well, apparently a lack of feeding didn't mean a lack of blood. And he didn't feel like taking care of that right now.

'Oh god. What has she done to me?'

_Nothing. You became a sick puppy all on your own, Spikey._

He flared his nostrils, burying his face into his pillow. 'Gods. I'm so sorry Cath.' The tears burst forth unexpectedly, and he blubbed into his pillow like a school girl with a broken heart for about twenty minutes before pulling himself together. It took a good deal of inner strength to pull himself from the bed and face his own reflection. His hand unconsciously rubbed the thigh where the ring was buried, grateful that his tenure in Hell hadn't taken away the one gift she'd left him.

And wasn't he a sight? Eyes were bloodshot, his frame was almost skeletal. The cuts and bruises were not healing in the slightest. He didn't know when he'd last fed. Had he even drunk the blood that Buffy had brought him? He couldn't remember. The days were all melding into one big mess.

He knew two things. He needed to feed. And he needed answers. Why was he back?

Determination set in and he pulled out some clean clothes, dressing quickly before moving out into the night. A quick investigation indicated that the Watcher was not home, but he had not long left the area. It didn't take long to track him to the Summers' residence. Where he was sat with Joyce at the counter, steaming mugs in front of them and...chocolate bars? Spike frowned.

Giles noticed him immediately and brightened, moving to open the door. 'Spike! How are you?'

'Watcher.' Spike nodded in acknowledgement. Joyce waved at him from her perch on the counter.

'Hey, Spike!' She motioned to the stove. 'You want some hot chocolate? We have little marshmallows!'

Spike hesitated, confused by their behaviour for a second. The air in the house smelt funny too, but that could have just been the chocolate that Giles was still piling into his mouth. He'd never even seen the Watcher touch candy before. And Joyce was eating piece after piece too.

Maybe it was some hot new brand thing. He shrugged and nodded, stepping over the threshold.

'Is...is Buffy here?'

'No.' Giles said quite sternly. 'Actually we were just discussing her. She's been very...ignorant of her duties lately.'

'Girls been through a lot, Rupert.' Spike reminded him, smiling slightly as Joyce passed him over a fresh mug of hot chocolate. He looked into the chocolately goodness and noted that the lady had been generous with the marshmallows. In some small childish way, it pleased him.

'Yes, we know that, but it's no reason to lie to us. Chocolate?' Giles offered the vampire some of the foul smelling stuff and Spike wrinkled his nose in disgust.

'No, ta. American chocolate was always a bit too sugary for my tastes.'

'Oh it's quite good.' Giles nodded, snapping another chunk off for himself. 'I was never a fan, but you should really try it.' He offered the bar again and Spike eyed it curiously. He reached out a hand to snap a chunk off, but then the front door slammed and he froze.

'Hey!' Came the Slayer's voice as she headed for the kitchen. 'Sorry I'm late, but you know Giles, all slay all the time!' She stepped into the room and her voice drifted away as she saw her Watcher, her mom and the vampire at the island. She paled.

'Hello Buffy.' Giles said coolly, his hand containing the chocolate moving away from the vampire. Spike's eyed flickered to the blonde teen and he backed away a little, having no desire to see her right now.

Buffy saw his immediate avoidance tactic and gestured to the living room, hoping to distract her mom and Giles long enough to speak to the blonde. 'Did you guys wanna watch some television? I hear there's a very insightful nightline on.'

Her mom frowned at her. 'Buffy, you lied to us. And you made us into your alibis. That's playing us against each other and that's not fair.'

'I called Willow.' Giles said sternly. Buffy looked to him, hopelessly trapped as Spike backed further away and then disappeared out the back door. Her mom didn't seem to notice, she was too busy glaring at her and eating that stupid Band Candy that Buffy had to sell. 'You also lied to her about your whereabouts. We were all concerned.'

Buffy sagged under their sights, her chance at cornering Spike gone as the familiar tingles disappeared along with him. 'I'm sorry. I had to...'

'Were you at the Bronze?' Joyce interrupted. 'What was happening there that was so important?'

Buffy sighed, her eyes raising to meet her mother's, unable to tell her the truth just yet. Giles knew, but she realised he probably wouldn't be too joyful at her hanging out the vampire that had mutilated him. 'Yes, I was at the Bronze. Doing Bronze things.'

'You're acting really immature, Buffy.' Her mom said, her condescending tone grating on Buffy's nerves. Joyce snapped another piece of chocolate off the bar and chewed it whilst staring at her.

'I know I'm not your parent,' Giles started, his mouth full of chocolate. 'But I am responsible for you. I think your mum is right.' He took another piece.

'Okay. Fine. I'm acting like a child.' Buffy folded her arms, glaring at the pair of them. 'Maybe that's because you're both treating me like a child.'

'Buffy!'

'You're both trying to schedule me twenty-four hours a day. Between the two of you, that's forty-eight hours! I just...' She paused, her eyes going to her mother's, then her Watcher's. 'I just wanna be able to make a few decisions on my own.'

'We understand that. But you're being irresponsible.'

'You can't babysit me all the time. I need you to back off a little.' Buffy said, watching as her mother popped another piece of candy into her mouth.

Giles held up his hand. 'Alright. Now, let's not...er, freak out.' Buffy's eyes went wide at his terminology.

'Freak out?' He didn't seem to hear her.

'Uh, I think you should go to bed. Um, we're all tired.' He was doing his stuffy English thing again. He glanced around, obviously noticing the vampire had slipped out. 'Where did Spike go?' Buffy stared at him, then threw her hands up into the air, stalking off to her bedroom. Joyce watched her leave, sighing and putting another piece of chocolate into her mouth, screwing up the empty wrapper and throwing it in the bin.

'Oh, she just drives me crazy.' She pulled a fresh bar of chocolate from the cupboard and passed it to Giles. 'I just want to protect her.'

'Don't all parents want that?' He unwrapped the bar, snapping a piece off and handing it back to her.

'Yeah, but at least most parents have some idea what to protect their children from.

Giles nodded, munching on the chocolate thoughtfully. 'I think we should both be especially careful.'

* * *

><p>Trying to see the Watcher the night before had been a bust. So he'd slipped away, knowing Buffy was trying to pin him down and get answers, but unwilling to give her any. Luckily, the butchers had still been open, so he'd finally gotten some blood into his system. Unluckily, he was not up to a patrol, so he returned to his apartment, clearing it up before heading out to try and catch the Watcher in the library whilst the ever persistent Slayer was in class. But Giles had been absent from there too.<p>

He'd been undecided then, and not knowing what to do, he'd found himself in the Alibi Room, ordering a pint of pig's and finding a quiet booth. When night had fallen, the town had seemed to go crazy, and Spike had headed out, wondering if the Slayer was aware of what was going on. A small F'dunlo demon had tried avoid him, but he'd grabbed it by the scruff of the neck, demanding answers as to the mayhem on the streets of Sunnydale.

'I don't know!' It squealed in his grip. 'All I saw was the adults going nuts!'

Spike had dropped him, determined to find answers on his own, and possibly alert the Slayer if the need arose. He was shocked to see a lack of Angel on the streets, although that made his life easier.

He was even more shocked when he came across the Watcher, and Joyce Summers, breaking and entering, assaulting a police officer and about to make out on the hood of a police car.

'Giles?' Spike had approached, looking at the feather boa around Joyce's neck dubiously. She had smiled at him, and he realised that she was nothing more than the ignorant teenager he'd saved in an alleyway in New York once upon a time. Rupert Giles eyed him with a sneer.

'What do you want?'

'Remember Jenny? Your girlfriend? And that's the Slayer's mum, you berk.'

'Yeah, and? Jenny is out of town.' The Watcher sneered and Spike growled, pushing the watcher backwards.

'How about me?' Spike vamped out. 'I don't know what magic has got into your system, making you act the bad man, but something is wrong here and you know it!'

'Piss off!' Ripper pushed him backwards. 'I ain't scared of a vampire!' He pulled the gun up that he'd taken from the police officer and aimed it at Spike. The vampire laughed.

'Go on, then, mate! Take your best shot.'

'Wait. You were going to cheat on Jenny?' Joyce asked, seemingly horrified and slow to catch on. 'I didn't realise you guys were going steady.' Ripper spared her an exasperated glance. 'That's not cool, Ripper.'

'Ripper?' Spike burst out laughing. 'Oh, I remember this story. You reverted back to your terrible teens, _Ripper?_' The vampire skirted around the gun. 'Something's amiss here and you know it. Use your brain, man.'

'I think I want some more chocolate.' Joyce said, her gaze drifting off. Ripper ignored her, his focus on Spike, who frowned suddenly.

'The chocolate.' He mused. 'Thought something smelled funny.' He then remembered how he'd nearly eaten some. And wouldn't that have been a laugh riot, regressing to _his_ teenaged years. He'd rather be staked, thank you very much. 'You want some more chocolate, Joyce?' He asked, seeing the drugged adults all moving in the same direction. 'How's about we get you some?' She nodded excitedly, and Ripper lowered the gun slightly. Spike raised an eyebrow. 'You coming, _Ripper?_' The regressed librarian hesitated, then shrugged, tucking the gun back into his pants. He kept a distance between himself and Joyce now, and she threw him a dirty look for his attempt to seduce her. Spike nudged him with an elbow.

'You got any fags?'

* * *

><p>The demon Lurconis. Spike had read about that one. Baby-eater. Not a fan of fire. By the time they'd reached the sewers it had almost been too late, but between himself and the Slayer, they'd averted the death of the little ones. Unfortunately, Trick had escaped and Spike knew Buffy would not be happy about that. He'd slipped away when they had decided it was best to get the babies back to the hospital. He hadn't missed the look Buffy had shot him.<p>

He didn't know how long it would take the effects of the crazy chocolate to wear off, but he still needed to speak to the Watcher without his slayer interrupting them. Luckily for him, the librarian was back in his rightful place, and seemed to be his usual self when he arrived at the school library the next evening.

'Spike!' Giles had jumped when the vampire had appeared from the stacks, his blue eyes questing out the Slayer and finding no sign of her. Giles seemed to pick up on what or whom he was looking for. 'She's not here.'

'Good.' Spike breathed a sigh of relief. 'How are you feeling, _Ripper?_'

Giles went a funny shade of red. 'It was the chocolate.' He mumbled.

'So I shouldn't mention anything to your lady love.'

'You should know, of all people, how things can get out of hand, Spike.' Giles admonished and the vampire grinned. 'But thank you for stopping me. I doubt I could have lived with it. I do love Jenny, and I have a great deal of respect for Joyce.'

'So you never thought about getting down and dirty with the Slayer's mum?' Spike chuckled. 'She is attractive, for an older lady.'

'And this is the end of that conversation. I presume you are here for something?' The mood changed instantly, and all mirth disappeared from the blond's face.

'As a matter of fact, yeah.' He moved into the office. 'I need answers.' He looked up as Giles followed him into the smaller room.

'Concerning?' The Watcher raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

Spike levelled him with a serious expression. 'I want to know why I'm back.'

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><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

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><p>Hope you all have a lovely Pancake Day!<p> 


	19. Spoonful Of Demon

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note: **As some of you may know I am simultaneously posting this story on both and Elysian Fields. I am blown away by the amount of followers, likers, reviewers and just people who have read the first chapter. Literally. Like, mind blown...this is a huge deal to me. A lot of my RL friends laugh at me for having a Fanfiction hobby but to me, just knowing that around the world, something I created has been part of someone's day, and maybe made them chuckle, or raise a smile...well, why else would I write? So a genuine massive thank you to everyone who is still with me, and even to those who got bored six chapters back. You all rock!

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><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

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><p><strong>Spoonful Of Demon<strong>

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><p>He'd taken the opportunity of Giles' being out with the Slayers to do some more research into his situation. Jenny had offered to join him, her knowledge of the curse being better than anyone else's. Giles had assured him that Buffy was not due to return to the library with him and if she made hints to do so, he would head her off. He hadn't asked about Spike's intense desire to avoid the girl, but the anguish in the blue eyes of his friend made him understand, maybe at least a little, why he didn't want to see her. The librarian had been curious about his time in the other dimension, but had not pressed, knowing it was a painful subject to discuss.<p>

Unfortunately, his quest for answers was not forthcoming. Jenny had found nothing to connect the two vampires, or to explain why Spike had been souled by a curse aimed at Angelus. He wasn't complaining about the soul – in fact, having it back gave him a sense of calm and an easier acceptance of things, but it hadn't made his sojourn in hell any easier in the slightest.

'I'm not finding anything, Spike. I've checked the spell again and again. There was no connection between you and Angel. And you said you were even touching, right?'

'No. We were fighting but we were at least a metre apart when the curse kicked in. You sure you checked the original spell?'

'Yes. I changed it. The original spell was aimed at the both of you, with two separate orbs. I only used the one orb and the ritual itself was altered for only one. And you definitely aren't sharing a soul.'

'No. I think I'd know if I were.' Spike grimaced, looking at the teacher. 'I don't know where else to look for answers.'

Jenny frowned, looking over at another book. 'Maybe it was something to do with Acathla…' She reached over, but they were both distracted by the library door opening and Giles walking in, followed by a subdued Buffy, an irate Faith and a prim looking blonde woman neither of them had seen before.

Spike stood, his eyes darting to Giles, who shot him an apologetic look.

'I'm tell you, I don't need a new watcher!' Faith was arguing, hopping up onto the counter. 'No offence, lady, I just have this problem with authority figures. They usually end up dead.'

The vampire eyed the new Slayer cautiously. It was the first time he'd seen Faith and she seemed full of attitude. Her casual dismissal reminded him of himself when he was a young fledge, causing fights and pissing Darla off. She was full of life…but there was something else about her that set him on edge.

'Duly noted.' The prim woman remarked, and Spike wondered if her nose could turn up any further. 'And fortunately, it's not up to you.' She turned to Giles. 'Mr. Giles, where do you keep the rest of your books?'

The librarian blinked. 'I'm sorry, the…rest?' The woman turned, her eyes taking in the library.

'Yes, the actual library.' She tilted her head to the side as her eyes came to rest on Spike. 'Although, I wasn't aware that notorious vampires had access to your material, albeit limited.'

The vampire bristled. Giles scowled. 'I assure you, Mrs Post, Spike is only here to research. He aids us.'

'I see.' Mrs Post wrinkled her delicate little nose again, turning away from him and Spike instantly disliked her. Buffy's eyes were on him now and he shifted uncomfortably. 'I've been sent by the council for a very important reason. Faith needs a Watcher. I am to act in that capacity and report back.'

'Excuse me, Mary Poppins, you're not listening.' Spike almost sniggered. The brunette Slayer was not happy.

Giles removed his glasses. 'Now, Faith, if the council feels you need closer observations, well of course we'll all cooperate.'

'The council wishes me to report on the entire situation here, including you.'

Buffy's gaze left Spike and moved to Mrs Post. 'What situation?' Her eyes narrowed.

Mrs Post cleared her throat lightly. 'The fact is, there is talk in the council that you've become a bit too….American.'

'Me?'

'Him?' Buffy and Giles exclaimed at the same time.

'Operations here seem somewhat haphazard. Sloppy.' Her eyes slanted sideways to give Spike a glare. 'Faith. Sit up straight and pay attention.' Faith did so, precariously balanced on the counter. Giles looked at Buffy, who shrugged. Mrs Post took a few steps towards the table, where Spike and Jenny had been researching. 'A demon named Lagos is coming here, to the Hellmouth. Mr. Giles, an illustration of Lagos if you please.'

Giles headed for the table beside her, and Spike reached over, passing him the book that contained the majority of demons. He'd been looking for Acathla in there earlier, but he'd had no luck. Mrs Post glared at him again, and he suddenly hated her with a violent passion.

'Why, exactly, does the vampire have access to sensitive material?' She questioned. Giles looked at her with cold regard.

'Spike has a soul. He is an ally and a friend.'

She made a face as if she had smelt something bad. 'Yes. I see.' She turned away, and Buffy looked at Spike almost apologetically. 'Lagos seeks the Glove of Myhnegon. No record of the glove's full power exists. We do know it is highly dangerous and cannot fall into the hands of a demon. Lagos must be stopped.'

'I've heard of that.' Spike muttered. 'The glove's volatile. Once you get it on, you can't get it off. And it can only be destroyed with one thing.' Giles looked at him but the vampire shrugged. 'Memory of what escapes me. Was over two centuries ago I heard of the damn thing.'

Mrs Post ignored him. 'I suggest two Slayers at full strength for a coordinated hunt. We believe the Glove to be buried in a tomb somewhere, so Lagos will be headed for the cemetery.'

'Well, there is more than one in Sunnydale.' Giles commented dryly.

Mrs Post levelled him with a withering glare. 'I see. How many?'

'Twelve.' Buffy supplied.

'Within city limits.' Giles finished. Mrs Post nodded.

'Well, we shall have to take them one at a time. Anything in your books that might pinpoint the exact location of the tomb would be useful, but then, we cannot ask for miracles. We'll begin tomorrow at sunset. Faith! With me please.' She walked out of the library, clicking her heels as Faith followed, subdued by the woman's attitude. Silence fell as they left.

Giles took a breath. 'Well. That was bracing.' He leant over Jenny, kissing her on the cheek in greeting.

'She's an interesting lady.' Buffy remarked. 'Can we kill her?'

Spike chuckled, and Giles smiled a little, standing straight. 'I think the council would frown on that. Well. What do you say to some training?'

Buffy nodded. 'Let me just get changed.' Her eyes darted to Spike, who refused to look at her, and she frowned, leaving the library. Giles turned to the vampire.

'I am sorry, Spike. I was not expecting Mrs Post. Did you find anything?' He asked and Spike shook his head.

'Nothing. Even Jenny can't figure out what went wrong with the curse. I'm not complaining but…something doesn't feel right.' He looked over to the door. 'I'm going to be off, anyway. Before she comes back.'

'Why are you so keen to avoid Buffy?' Jenny queried, and Spike sighed.

'Just am. I'll be off then. I'll come back during the day tomorrow.' Giles nodded, watching as the vampire took off through the stacks.

'He didn't wanna stay, huh?' Buffy asked, making Giles jump a little. The Watcher turned, looking at her somewhat sadly.

'No, I'm afraid not.' She looked at the floor, dejectedly.

'He's avoiding me.'

'He has been through a lot, Buffy.'

'Angel isn't avoiding me.' She stated, almost angry. Giles' jaw clenched and he began to put the books on the table away. Jenny stood up to help him.

'Angel and Spike appear to have had vastly difference experiences in….well, wherever it was they ended up. They are different people, Buffy, surely you must know that by now.' He didn't mention his distaste for Angel, or the fact that he wished the vampire had never returned from Hell. Buffy looked at him, tears in her eyes.

'I only want to make sure he's okay. He was my friend…before…' She stopped, thinking for a moment before sniffing and changing the subject. 'So. Training?'

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><p>The next evening, she headed over to bring Angel the blood she had picked up from the butchers. She'd contemplated bringing Spike some too, but he'd seemed healthier the night before in the library, and she wasn't sure how welcomed she would be. He was going all out to avoid her, and it was beginning to grate. She knew he was feeling guilty but avoiding her wouldn't fix the problem. The way he'd run from the library the night before had hit her hard.<p>

Angel was practising Tai Chi. Topless, when she entered the mansion, and she smiled brightly at him, not looking directly at his muscular chest. _Are all vampires this well built or do I just pick 'em specially?_ 'Hey.' He finished off his move and then stood still, smiling at her.

'Buffy.' He reached for his shirt, pulling it over his head. 'I wasn't expecting you.'

'You look stronger.' She noted, handing him the paper bag from the butchers.

'I am. Feeling much better.' He checked the contents of the bag, then placed it on the table. 'Are you patrolling?'

'Big night for us slayer-types. People to see, demons to kill, you know the drill.' She smiled again. 'Have you, er, seen Spike recently?'

'Can't say he's stopped by. I'm not really expecting him to either.' Angel muttered. Spike was not his favourite subject, and Buffy knew it, but she had to ask. Angel knew something, just like Spike, but neither were telling her anything.

'Oh. Okay. I'd better hurry before someone notices I'm missing.'

'You still haven't told Giles?'

'Giles knows. He knows I bring you blood and that I've been checking on you. He just doesn't approve.' She shrugged.

'I miss you, you know.' He said suddenly, and Buffy felt heat in her cheeks.

'I know. But this…' she sighed. 'This is not a good idea. We're friends, Angel. It's all we can be. I can't risk…'

'I know.' He said, his tone heavy. He sighed. 'You should go.'

'I really should.' She shifted her weight from foot to foot. 'I'm gonna go vent a little hormonal angst by going out there and killing a Lagos. Whatever that is.'

'Lagos?' Angel questioned, curiosity peaked.

'Yeah, he's some kind of demon looking for an all-powerful thingimibob and I've got to stop him before unholy havoc's released and it's another Tuesday night in Sunnydale.' She looked towards the door as Angel stared distractedly, his thoughts obviously not in the room. 'So, I'm gonna…go.' She backed up and Angel nodded.

'Be safe.' She smiled, and left the room, leaving the vampire to his thoughts.

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><p>She'd met up with Faith outside the Gerald Street cemetery, the smallest and furthest out of the cemeteries in Sunnydale. They'd scoured the graveyard, keeping an eye out for demons and vampires. So far they'd seen none and the topic of conversation headed onto boys. Buffy was currently listening to a run down of the lowlifes that Faith had dated over the years. 'Ronnie, deadbeat. Steve, kelpto. Kenny...drummer. Eventually I just had to face up to my destiny as a loser magnet. Now it's strictly get some, get gone. You can't trust guys.'<p>

'You can trust some guys.' Buffy protested, earning herself a doubtful look from the dark haired slayer. 'Really, I've read about them.' She joked. Faith laughed.

'Yeah. So, what about you?' She asked and Buffy paused, a little panicked by the question.

'You mean like, me and guys me?' An affirmative hum from Faith made Buffy shrug. 'Not much to tell these days.'

'Yeah, but you gotta have stories. I mean, I've had my share of losers, but you...you boinked the undead. What was that like?' Faith didn't seem to notice the uncomfortable expression on Buffy's face.

'Life with Angel's...it's complicated. It's still a little hard to talk about.'

'Well, try.' The dark haired slayer pressed, not taking the hint. Buffy stopped walking and sighed.

'Look, Faith, all the Angel issues are still kind of...I'd rather not go into total share mode right now.'

'Yeah. Whatever.' Faith shrugged, and Buffy looked away, wishing she wasn't there at that moment. 'You know what? We're oh for six tonight. Why don't we just blow this off?' She looked around, looking anywhere but at the other slayer. Buffy nodded in agreement.

'Yeah, I am kinda beat. But - but Shady Hill's pretty close.'

Faith waved her off. 'I'll swing through it. It's on my way anyway.' Buffy frowned a little.

'Alone? I-I don't know if I'd...'

The younger slayer cut her off. 'I got Miss Priss on my back now. I don't need another babysitter. I'll holler if I'm having any fun.'

Buffy smiled thinly, watching the other girl warily. 'Okay.' Faith raised a hand and turned, heading for the street.

'Later.'

'Thanks.' Buffy mumbled and stood for a second, wondering which way to go. She looked in the direction of the Skinner Street apartments, then scowled and turned towards Crawford Street.

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><p>Xander quietly made his way through gravestones, keeping a look out for Von Hauptman family crypt. His breathing was heavy and he couldn't deny that he was nervous to the point of peeing his pants. He'd spent a lot of time in this cemetery but he normally had a Slayer with him. And this time he was on his own.<p>

He spotted the crypt he'd been looking for, and hid behind a bush, looking around to see if there were any vampires or demons lurking about. The last thing he needed is a serious case of death right now. When he saw no one around, he stepped out from behind the bush, smiling. 'Hey, Giles, here's a nifty idea: why don't I alleviate my guilt by goin' out and gettin' myself really, really killed?'

A noise alerted him to someone else's presence and he found another clump of bushes, throwing himself into a crouch as he waited to see what emerged from the crypt. A shadowy figure came out into the moonlight, a bundle of rags covering something in its hands. The figure pushed the crypt shut again and turned, moving towards Xander's location. He moved backwards, praying he wouldn't be seen and as the figure passed, Xander frowned.

He'd known Angel was back. But why he was had the Glove, Xander had no clue. He waited for a second, not letting Angel get out of sight, before he began to follow him. He had been told Angel was good, but just in case, he pulled a stake from his pocket, his eyes fixed on the vampire a few metres away from him. He prayed hard that he was out of range for the dark vampire to sense him.

For ten minutes he stalked the vampire through the streets of Sunnydale, recognising the direction Angel was taking. Giles had said he was staying at the mansion. Xander wondered if Buffy knew about his little excursion this evening. He hung back further now he knew where Angel was going, and thought about his options. He didn't know if Buffy was patrolling and it could take hours to find her. He didn't know where Faith was either. He could either sneak round to the mansion and try to figure it out himself, and probably get himself lunched on at the same time, or he could sneak a peek, make sure Angel had the glove and report back to Giles.

Mind made up, he turned, bumping straight into a bemused looking Spike.

'Holy Moses!' Xander exclaimed, jumping backwards, his stake clattering to the floor.

'That was stealthy.' Spike observed, grinning a little. Xander rolled his eyes. 'What you doing out here, whelp?'

Xander shrugged. 'I was doing Giles a favour, looking for this glove thing...then I saw Angel had it and was following him.'

The vampire frowned. 'What would Angel want with the Glove of Myhnegon?'

'Maybe he's Angelus again?'

Spike shook his head. 'No. I'd know.'

The boy frowned and then nodded when he remembered. 'Oh yeah. Last time. Gotcha.' He paused for a moment. 'So what do we do?'

'We don't sell Angel short straight away. We'll go to the mansion and see what we can find out.' He looked Xander up and down. 'If you're capable of any more stealth this evening that is.' Xander poked out his tongue in an immature gesture and then followed Spike as the blond moved past him to head for the mansion. They walked in silence most of the way, the boy uncomfortable around the vampire, mostly because he didn't know what to say to someone who'd spent a century in hell. Spike just didn't feel like talking.

When they reached the stairs, Spike moved down first, silently approaching the door. He could sense Angel inside but the signal was muted, as it had been since he returned. He had trouble sensing Buffy these days as well, going by scent more than anything. It was a good thing she wore so much perfume. He could smell it here - she'd been round a lot. He ignored the pang in his chest at the thought of it.

Xander watched as Spike looked into the mansion through the doorway, then frowned as the blond jerked back as if burnt. He backed away from the door and turned towards Xander. The boy crept forward, too afraid to alert Angel by asking Spike what was wrong. He peeked round the corner of the door, seeing Angel...and Buffy.

Kissing.

He pulled back too, his eyes wide and he looked to the blond vampire, who was on the steps waiting for him. Xander raised confused brown eyes to ice cold blue, and he was taken aback by the pain reflected there. He had thought Buffy had said she wasn't involved with Angel in that way. Why had she lied to them?

And why did Spike seem so hurt by it?

'We should get back to Giles.' Xander muttered as he followed Spike up the stairs that led out of the mansion garden. Spike nodded, not speaking. 'You okay?' Xander asked, and Spike just looked at him. The boy shut up.

He needn't have asked.

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><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

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><p><strong>^.^ <strong>Enjoy!


	20. Mixed Signals

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

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><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

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><p><strong>Mixed Signals<strong>

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><p>'Oh, God…' Buffy pulled away from Angel, her hands flying to her lips as she pulled back from the vampire, her eyes wide. Angel looked at her in confusion.<p>

'Buffy?'

'What am I doing? What are you doing?' She exclaimed, waving her hands about in panic. Angel shrugged, at a loss.

'I don't know.'

'Shame on you!' She said, putting her hands on her hips briefly before returning to panicking. This was wrong. So wrong. She'd come here because he'd asked her to, and then they'd somehow ended up making out and that was so of the bad. She was kissing a man she'd loved, yeah, but she wasn't sure if she did anymore. Was this just an easy routine to slip back into? Angel…she knew Angel. She still cared deeply for him.

No, no, no, wrong!

'Oh God. I don't….why did you call me here?' She demanded, picking her bag up from the couch. Angel moved forward, taking her back from her.

'It's good you came.' He took her hand and her skin tingled where he touched her, but she snatched the limb back, not wanting to confuse things further. He looked hurt for a second, but then motioned to the table in the corner, where whatever he'd taken from the cemetery was still wrapped in grey rags. 'I think I have what you are looking for.' Buffy followed his gesture to the table and wrinkled her nose.

'Great. Just, wherever this was gift wrapped, remind me not to shop there.'

He moved over, unwrapping the rags to reveal the contents. The Glove Of Myhnegon was an ugly, medieval looking thing, made out of leather and metal and Buffy could feel the power coming off of it. The hinged claws at the top of glove made her shudder and she didn't want to get any closer to it..

'Glove of Myhnegon.' Angel stated, as if she hadn't guessed that already.

'The world's ugliest fashion accessory.' She quipped, peering at the item with general disgust. She didn't want to touch it. Angel just stood there, holding the glove, looking like a little bit of a lemon.

'Once you put it on, the glove cannot be removed.' He mentioned and Buffy nodded.

'Yeah, Spike told us that already.' She missed the dark look that passed over his face at her comment. He turned, wrapping the glove back up and placing it on the table. 'You hold on to it. I'll tell Giles in the morning that it's here. At least he'll be happy we found it.'

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><p>'So…' Xander started as he walked beside the vampire. 'What exactly are we gonna tell Giles? I mean, we all knew Angel was back. Wasn't clued in on him being back back. If you get my drift.' Spike didn't answer. He strode silently, his hands in his pockets, his blue eyes directly ahead. Xander eyed him as they walked, his concern growing. The vampire hadn't spoken since the mansion. 'Spike? You okay?' He still didn't reply. 'Look, I know that was pretty shocking, but your reaction is a little out there, man.'<p>

Spike stopped abruptly, looking to the boy. Xander was taken aback by the intense stare, and he paused, trying not to make eye contact. 'She shouldn't be doing that. It's playing with fire. If he lost his soul again…'

'Buffy wouldn't be that stupid…would she?'

Spike shook his head. 'I don't think she would.' He sighed. 'But Angel…'

'Well, we all hate Angel. What are we gonna do about this?'

Spike shrugged. 'Tell Giles. What else? We'll tell him Angel has the glove and Buffy was here. I'll speak to the Slayer privately about….other things. She loves him, it's natural she'd want to…be with him.'

'But you love her too right?' Xander called him out and the vampire blinked, unsure of how to react. Xander smiled. 'Knew it. Willow owes me ten bucks.' Spike looked at him incredulously. 'You think we're stupid? You've been avoiding her, mean to her. Classic school ground behaviour. And the way you look at her when you do see her? I wore that look the whole of the first year she was here.' He grinned. 'I totally get it. I don't get when it changed though. You guys were friends but not all that close?'

Spike sighed. 'Things change. Sometimes you can't explain it.' He started to walk again, and Xander fell into step beside him. 'At some point…she became the only thing that got me through.' He looked over at the boy. 'You've no need to worry though. I've no intention of getting involved with another Slayer.' Xander stopped again.

'Whoa, wait. Another Slayer?'

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><p>Buffy bounced through the high school corridors, heading for the library. She'd woken up feeling in a pretty good mood this morning, after some relaxing sleep, just to be different from her usual nightmares. She was not implying that the smoochies with Angel had given her a good night's sleep – in fact she was surprised her brain had actually switched off last night. She was still confused over everything. Yeah, she cared about Angel, loved him in some way. But…she felt something for Spike. She just wasn't sure what.<p>

So when she bounced into the library and saw Xander, Cordelia and Willow and Oz sat glumly at the table, with Giles pacing and cleaning his glasses, she knew something was up. She decided for the perky approach.

'Lagos is out of luck. I got the magic mitten thingy.' No one responded and she pouted a little.

'What's with all the tragedy masks?'

'We know Angel has the glove, Buffy.' Giles said, his tone cold. He made no attempt to his dislike of the dark haired vampire, and Buffy looked at him.

'Okay. And we all knew Angel was back. I never lied to you about that.'

'No one is here to blame you, Buffy.' Willow said quietly.

'Look,' Xander stood. 'I wasn't gonna say anything, but I was concerned. I saw you. Last night. Kissing him.'

Buffy baulked a little. 'Kissing…I…' She frowned. 'You followed me? You were spying on me?!'

'No. I followed Angel. He was getting the glove and I thought I'd better make sure it was Angel and not his less pleasant self.' Xander folded his arms over his chest and looked at her.

'We're concerned, Buffy, that you may be making certain choices…'

'What is this? Demons Anonymous?' She backed away, intending on leaving. 'I don't need an intervention here.'

'Oh don't you?' Giles asked, and Buffy stopped in her retreat, facing him. 'You must've known the risks, Buffy!'

'I didn't…it wasn't…look it was once. And it was a mistake. I loved him! Sometimes…'

'One mistake could lead to more, Buffy. What if he goes psycho again the next time you make a mistake?' Xander asked, his eyes focused on her and she shifted uncomfortably.

'I'm not going to…we're not together like that.'

'What, you just tripped and fell on his lips?' Cordelia asked, earning herself a reproachful look from Willow.

'It was wrong okay? I know that, and I know that it can't happen again. But you guys have to believe me. I would never put you in any danger-'

'Spike seems to think Angel would.' Xander interjected. Buffy's gaze flew to him.

'Spike? Spike was following Angel too?'

'No. He was following me. He just…happened to be there.'

'So Angel is accused of turning evil and Spike's on the team? What happened to vampires are all evil, Xander?' Buffy asked, her eyebrows raised.

'Spike never killed anyone when he lost his soul. He didn't torture or maim our friends, or go on a killing spree.' The boy uncrossed his arms. 'Spike's more than earned a place here.' Buffy looked taken aback by the remark.

'And Angel never did?'

'Angel nearly killed Jenny.' Giles pointed out. 'And I will forever carry scars from his attacks. Did you know he never said a word of apology to me? Yet, Spike did.'

'Oh my god. What is this? The Spike Fan Club?'

'We're just pointing out that Angel has a certain psycho quality, whereas Spike is actually a pretty nice guy.' Cordelia explained. Buffy looked at her.

'Buffy, I feel that where it comes to Angel, you can't see straight. And that's why we're here.' Willow explained gently.

'But he's better now!' Buffy almost stamped her foot, feeling like a child in light of the onslaught from her friends. 'Look, you guys, he's the one that found the Glove of Myhnegon. He's keeping it safe for us in the mansion.'

Xander spread his arms, rolling his eyes. 'Great plan! Leave tons of firepower with the scary guy, and leave us to clean up the mess.' He began to leave, his intention halted by Buffy grabbing his arm. Her eyes blazed as she regarded him.

'You would just love an excuse to hurt him, wouldn't you?'

'I don't need an excuse. I think lots of dead people actually constitutes a reason.' He spat. Buffy narrowed her eyes.

'Right. This is all nobility. This has nothing to do with jealousy.'

Xander grinned wryly and Cordelia stood up, glaring at Buffy. 'Hello? Miss Not-Over-Yourself?' Buffy shook her head in warning.

'Don't you start with me.' Cordelia looked at Giles, who had removed his glasses and was cleaning them, frustrated by the turn of events.

'That's enough!' He said, replacing the frames on his face and looking round at all of them. 'Everybody. Now. Buffy knows our concerns and her actions, however ill-advised, can be understood. Our priority right now is the retrieve the Glove Of Myhnegon and try to destroy it. Now, all of you, back to classes.'

Willow, Oz, Xander and Cordelia slowly filtered from the library as Buffy lingered, following Giles as he moved into his office. She waited a few moments before speaking.

'Thanks for the bail in there.' Giles didn't reply, standing with his back to her. 'I know this is a lot to absorb, but Angel did find the glove and that was a good…'

Giles turned then, his face like thunder as he regarded her. 'Be quiet. I won't remind you that the fate of the world often lies with the Slayer. What would be the point? Nor shall I remind you that you are jeopardizing the lives of all you hold dear by repeating past mistakes. But sadly, I must remind you that Angel tortured me, for hours, for pleasure.' Her eyes flickered to his mangled hand. 'He almost killed the woman I love.' He paused. 'Sometimes I think you have no respect for me. Or the job I perform.'

Buffy didn't reply, and Giles turned away again. She watched his back for a moment, tears gathering in her eyes, until she turned and left.

* * *

><p>Spike entered the library, looking for the Watcher. He'd been out patrolling when he'd remembered something about that stupid glove. He hoped to god that awful Post woman wasn't here. When Faith burst out of the office and ran past him, he frowned, but she didn't stop for an explanation. He moved to the office quickly, finding Giles on the floor being attended to by a phone wielding Xander.<p>

'What the hell happened?' The vampire questioned.

'Angel.' Xander muttered. 'Looks like he's not quite himself anymore.'

'No.' Spike sniffed. 'This wasn't Angel.' Xander looked up sharply, putting the phone down.

'Paramedics are on their way. What do you mean this wasn't Angel?'

'No scent. Angel hasn't set foot in here in months. I'd know if he had.'

'Oh.' Xander's eyes widened. 'Faith. She's gone to…'

Spike narrowed his gaze. 'She's gone to what, Harris?'

'She's gone to kill Angel. He has the Glove. We kinda put two and two together…came up with eight…'

Spike looked down at the Watcher. His heart was steady, despite the blow to his head. 'He'll be fine. Stay here. I'll go and stop Faith.' And he was gone. Xander sat on the floor of the office, feeling guilty at his actions. When the paramedics arrived, he watched detachedly as they checked Giles over and loaded him onto a stretcher. Buffy and Willow turned up just as they were starting to wheel him out. The Slayer rushed to her Watcher's side and he groaned as she demanded to know what had happened.

When they'd finally left, after Giles had instructed her to destroy the glove with living flame, she whirled on Xander, demanding answers. 'What happened?'

He almost squirmed under her gaze, knowing his first assumption had been wrong. 'We thought…me and Faith thought that…Angel…'

'What makes you think Angel had anything to do with this?'

'I only saw what you saw.' Xander held his hands up in defence.

'So you just assumed?' Buffy ground out, anger overtaking the majority of her senses.

'I didn't. Faith did. And Spike turned up, said it wasn't Angel and headed off after her.'

'What did you tell her?' The Slayer demanded, hoping Spike would have stopped the other slayer by now.

'Just what we all know! I didn't…I didn't think. Spike said Angel hadn't been here in months.' Xander was looking genuinely guilty and sorry now, but Buffy ignored it.

'How much of a head start does she have?' She ordered.

'About ten minutes. Maybe Spike caught her?' He offered and Buffy glared at him.

'You want to hope so.'

* * *

><p>He'd run like the hounds of hell were on his feet, not stopping to wonder why he was rushing to Angel's aid. As he reached the mansion, he heard Faith yell and made it through the garden entrance as she was facing off to the bigger vampire. Mrs Post was on the floor, just coming to. He skidded to a halt and growled. Angel and Faith both looked towards him.<p>

'The pair of you, stop it.' He raised his hands. 'Faith, Angel did not attack Giles.'

'He looked pretty happy attacking Mrs Post!' She snarled back, her stake raised to attack.

'She attacked me first!' Angel protested and Faith glared at him.

'Shut up, the pair of you.' Spike ordered. Post was getting to her feet now, looking a little wobbly. Her eyes darted to the glove. Faith didn't notice.

'You're confused, Blondie. Let me clear you up. Vampires.' She pointed at them both. 'Slayer.' She pointed at herself, then back to them again with a sarcastic smile. 'Dead vampires.'

'You're not understanding me here.' Spike said, as Buffy barrelled through the door behind him, her eyes wide as she took in the scene before her.

'Faith..' Post said quietly, getting the dark haired slayer's attention. 'Neither of them get this.'

'Faith, no.' Buffy whispered, stepping forward.

'Trust me.' Post said, her eyes set on Faith. The girl looked back and forth between the two blondes and her watcher.

'Faith, we can figure this out.' Faith hesitated for a second and then made to attack. Buffy intercepted her as Spike ducked a blow, spinning out of the battling slayers' way and knocking Angel off of his feet. The blond spared the other vampire a glance as his gaze went to Gwendolyn Post, who was leaning against the wall, trying to gather her bearings.

'What's your deal, ducks?'

'The glove.' The watcher gasped out, her eyes not meeting his. He frowned, sensing something was not quite right. A yelp from Buffy caught his attention and he turned, dismissing the woman for a second, realising that Faith was gaining the upper hand. He lunged forward, grasping Faith around the waist and pulling her away. At that moment, Xander and Willow arrived and Post went for the glove, grabbing it in triumph.

She held it up and slid her arm inside, speaking the Gaelic to incite the magic. As lightening filled the room, Faith stopped struggling against Spike and all eyes landed on the watcher.

'Faith.' She grinned maniacally. 'A word of advice; you're an idiot.' She raised her hand to the sky, speaking in Gaelic again as she absorbed lightening from the sky, through the roof. She smiled again, pointing the glove at the blond and brunette. 'Taio freim!' She spoke and the energy flew towards them. Spike span, throwing Faith to the side, although he was caught by the bolt and he hit the deck, hissing in pain at his burnt side. Buffy didn't move to him, seeing it was only a flesh wound and she whistled, getting Faith's attention.

'Can you draw her fire?'

'You bet I can.' Faith nodded.

'Go do it.' The blonde slayer indicated and they split in opposite direction. Buffy moved over to the living flame as Gwendolyn Post let loose another bolt of energy, narrowly missing Faith. She turned, firing at Buffy, but missing and hitting a high window. Glass showered down and Buffy ducked, looking over. She paused, an idea in her mind.

'There's nothing you can do to me now.' The watcher taunted, and Buffy grabbed a piece of glass, turning to face the crazed woman. 'I have the glove. With the glove come the power.'

Buffy's eyes flickered to the weapon the woman held. 'I'm getting that.' She span gracefully, sending the piece of glass she'd picked up flying through the air. It sliced neatly through Post's arm and the woman screeched as the glove, and her dismembered arm fell to the floor. Lightening flashed through the atrium and the mansion filled with light as Post incinerated.

Willow and Xander were stood at the back of the room, Faith in front of them. Spike and Angel lay on opposite sides, and Buffy looked between them before moving to Spike.

She crouched down, checking his injury. 'You'll be okay right?' She asked and he nodded, pulling himself up into a seated position before getting to his feet. Buffy helped him up and then turned to Angel, who was already standing, his gaze on the dismembered arm and glove.

* * *

><p>Faith knocked on the apartment door quietly, waiting for the occupant to answer. When he did, he was shocked to see her, and she smiled apologetically.<p>

'Hey. I know this is unexpected. I just…I wanted to say sorry.' Spike didn't say anything for a moment, and then he stepped back, gesturing for her to enter the flat. She did so, looking around curiously before turning to face him. 'You live the Spartan life too huh?' He raised an eyebrow and she waved a hand dismissively. 'Nevermind. Something Mrs Post said.'

'What can I do for you, Slayer?'

'I though that was Buffy's nickname?' She teased and he shrugged.

'You're both Slayers, aren't you?' He moved to the bottle of whiskey he'd been halfway through when she'd knocked. He offered her some and she accepted, taking a swig. He tilted his head in contemplation. Girl knew her drink. She didn't even make a face when she swallowed the liquor.

'Allegedly.' She muttered. 'So anyway, I wanted to say thanks. For not kicking my ass to kingdom come. Even though, according to the sources I've had, you probably could right?'

He shrugged. 'Wouldn't like to say either way. You've got a good technique.'

'Aww, thanks.' She chuckled. 'I guess I shouldn't have run in guns blazing. I was just so sure that…anyway, it doesn't matter.'

'So was that it?'

Faith hesitated. He waited. 'I just…I know Buffy and the others – I'm not really part of the gang. I don't fit in with their dynamic. B's cool and all, but I kinda needed a bit of company. And you don't seem to be in on the group action with everyone else.'

'Neither's Angel, in case you hadn't noticed.'

'You seem more interesting.' She pointed out. He chuckled at that.

'Yeah, Angel is pretty vanilla. But I'm not one for company, luv. I've spent the last century on my own and I intend to stay that way.'

'Oh.' She frowned. 'So you don't have the hots for Buffy then?' He glared at her and she back-pedalled. 'Sorry, sorry. I was just, you know, wondering if that extended to any Slayer.' She curled her tongue behind her teeth in a suggestive manner and Spike blinked in confusion. Was she coming on to him? 'I mean, come on, you gotta be needing to release a little tension. And Buff's not that type of gal, you know what I'm saying?'

He sighed. 'I think you should leave.'

'Forget it.' Faith said, realising she'd pushed it too far. 'I was joking.' She exhaled, looking at him. 'I guess…I was just looking for a friend or something. It's stupid.' She put the bottle of whiskey down on the desk and turned to the door, her shoulders slumped. Spike pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes.

'Faith, wait.' He looked up at her as she turned back. 'Maybe company would be good.'

She smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>You're in for a treat tonight ^.^<p> 


	21. Stolen Away

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Stolen Away<strong>

* * *

><p>Buffy had gotten bored this evening. It had been six days since the incident with Gwendolyn Post and she'd been studiously avoiding Angel, and Spike. But wandering through the town this evening, she'd had to fight to the urge to see both of them, just to check in. She was used to Spike avoiding her and she didn't think Angel left the mansion much, except to get his own blood.<p>

Tomorrow was the SAT results day. She was avoiding that one too. Her mom had been excited for her test scores but Buffy wasn't feeling it. Her future was sealed, no matter how well she did on tests. Her calling was it.

_How depressing was that?_

She decided to head home, and just happened to wander past the Skinner Street apartments as she aimed for Revello Drive. Spike's light was on, but his curtains drawn and she noted that he hadn't been on patrol this evening. She usually felt his telltale signature for a brief few seconds every night, which let her know he was alive and kicking. But tonight she'd felt nothing.

When Faith suddenly appeared from the entrance to the apartments, a smile on her face, Buffy frowned. The dark haired slayer looked up as she made her way onto the street, spotting Buffy. For a split second, she was a deer in headlights, until her smile widened and she ran to catch up to the older slayer.

'Hey, B. Whatcha doin'?'

'Patrolling.' Buffy said slowly, her eyes going back to the lit window of Spike's flat. The light had gone off now.

'I was gonna do a quick sweep on the way back to the motel.'

'Were you…visiting someone?' Buffy enquired.

'Yeah.' Faith said slyly, her cheeks a little red.

'Was it Spike?' The blonde slayer just about managed to keep the tone of her voice straight laced.

'Maybe.' Faith chuckled. 'Yeah. He's a pretty cool guy.'

'So, you're just hanging out?'

'Not jealous are you, B?' The brunette questioned, a joking tone to her voice. Buffy shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.

'Me? No. Not jealous.'

Faith narrowed her eyes. 'Good. Cause you can't hog all the vampires.' She quipped, skipping ahead. Buffy glared at the back of her head as she followed.

* * *

><p>He could hear the voices in the library, of Giles and Buffy. He didn't want to intrude, and more specifically, he didn't want to talk to Buffy, but he needed to talk to Giles. As he drew closer, he heard Giles congratulating Buffy on her test scores and talking about college. He smiled to himself; the slayer put out the dumb blonde front, but she was smarter than most people gave her credit for.<p>

Stepping out from the stacks, Giles spotted him straight away and greeted him with a smile. 'Spike. How are you?'

The vampire nodded. ''Lo Rupes.' He looked in Buffy's direction. 'Slayer.' She frowned.

'Is there a problem?' Giles asked, not noticing the coldness coming from the teenager.

'Heard talk of a vamp in town. Got it in for the Slayer. Name of Michael. I don't know much else. Thought I'd warn you though.' The vampire shrugged.

'Great.' Buffy replied. 'Thanks.' Her tone gave him the brush off and the vampire bristled. Giles frowned at his charge and then looked back to the vampire.

'I found some more material you might be interested in.' Buffy looked at her watcher in surprise.

'Material?' She questioned.

'Been looking into why we got brought back is all.' Spike said, stuffing his hands in his duster pockets. She looked at him, noting the coat.

'You got a new duster?' She asked and he nodded.

'Yeah. The old one got kinda…sucked into hell.' He muttered and Buffy blushed, reminded of her guilt in accordance with the Acathla incident. 'I'll pop back later on, Giles.' He said, turning to leave.

'No need. I'm going.' Buffy stood, picking up her jacket and back.

'Buffy?' Giles started. 'Are you planning on seeing Angel?' The air thickened slightly as she looked to Spike and then to Giles. She remembered seeing Faith emerge from Spike's apartment the night before.

'Yes. Actually I am.' She didn't need to look at Spike. Giles didn't look pleased. 'Okay, we're friends? That's all. Nothings gonna happen.' And she flounced from the room.

Spike sighed, taking a seat at the table. 'Sorry 'bout that.'

'You seem to be at odds with each other once again. I thought you had both moved past that.' Giles commented, moving to sit opposite him.

'We were. Then, well, Hell happened.' Spike rubbed a hand over his face. 'Where's Jenny at?'

Giles coughed. 'She is in class. Her work schedule this term is quite heavy and she is reluctant to…partake in the supernatural, given what happened last year. She is still researching for you of course. The material I have doesn't give much answers I'm afraid, but it does pertain to the curse and several prophecies I found involving souled demons. The majority do not seem important but I thought you would like to have a look at them.'

'Fair enough.' The vampire looked around. 'Faith's been hanging around a lot.'

'With you?' Giles asked.

'Yeah. Almost every night since that Post woman. She's lonely I think. Not quite in with the inner circle of Scoobies. I guess she figured I wasn't either.'

'Hmmm. I shall see if I can speak to her. Unfortunately I am away this weekend. I have a retreat to attend.'

'Watcher thing?' Spike asked and Giles nodded.

'I was going to come and see you to ask…would you keep an eye out? Just make sure there is no undue trouble. I trust you can manage a few vampires, and make sure the children do not get into trouble?'

Spike nodded. 'Yeah I can do that, I guess.'

'And try not to let Buffy get you down.' Giles paused for a moment. 'Xander seems to think you're in love with her.'

The vampire almost jolted in surprise. 'He…what? No. I'm...I…' Spike sighed as Giles grinned slightly. 'I care about her. It's difficult to explain. I have these dreams…' He cut off. 'It's stupid. I've not been right since I came back.' He looked at Giles with a serious expression, and the watcher had stopped grinning. 'I'm not going near her. It's why I've not been around much. If I don't see her, it'll go away. I can't…I can't do it again, Giles. I can't get another Slayer killed.'

Giles looked at the vampire in shock. 'I can assure you, Buffy would be safe with you, Spike. I've seen it.'

'It doesn't matter. I'm not worthy of her. Never would be.'

The Watcher stood. 'You think far to little of yourself.' He moved to the office. 'I'll get that material for you.'

* * *

><p>'College, huh?' Angel stood, placing another log on the fire as Buffy sat on his couch, flicking through a glossy campus brochure for another college. She nodded, her eyes on the book.<p>

'Higher education. Kind of an intense proposition.'

'Where do you wanna go?' He asked, moving to sit back next to her, leaving space between them. Buffy noted the movement and sighed.

'I have no idea. My mom was the one who got all these. She's so excited, she can't stop talking about it. I had a really hard time getting away to come over here.' She smiled softly and he responded in kind.

'She's not happy about me?'

'No. She's still adjusting to the Slayer thing. She wasn't happy you're back and even less happy that we're…friends.' Angel grimaced at the word and Buffy went back to staring at her brochure.

'She wants you to get out.' The Slayer nodded.

'Someplace a little less Hellmouthy. She has a point. But there are reasons to stay.' She said, dropping a hint. Angel either missed it or ignored it.

'What are they?'

Buffy frowned. 'Well,' _Spike, Willow, Xander, Giles, everything else. You._ 'There's my slayer duties. Obviously.' She eyed him warily. 'What do you think I should do?'

He thought for a moment, hesitating in his response. 'As a friend?' He looked away, standing up. 'I think you should leave.' He moved over to the fireplace. 'This is a good opportunity for you.' He didn't look at her, his eyes gazing into the fire. Buffy stared at him, a little dumbstruck by his answer. _You wonder if you even love him anymore, but when he says he wants you to go, you're hurt? Double standards, B._

She shook her head. 'Yeah. It's not like there's any great thing keeping me here.' She stood up, gathering the brochures and her jacket, heading for the door. 'Thanks for the advice. It's another perspective to consider.'

Angel looked up, noticing her leaving. 'Where are you going? You just got here, it's early.'

'Yeah, well, my mom starts worrying a lot earlier these days. I'll stop by soon.' She offered him a soft smile and turned, leaving Angel alone to the fire and his thoughts.

She headed straight over to Spike's. She didn't even think about where she was heading, but after Angel's dismissal of what they had been and telling her to leave, she felt like she needed to know where the other vampire stood. She was confused about her feelings for Angel. One moment she felt like hitting him, the next she just wanted him to hold her and never let go. Spike's cold indifference to her since his shock confession that it had been the thought of her that got him through hell was confusing her as well, as she thought they were friends at the very least.

Pausing outside his apartment, she waited a second, listening for any noise. She was slightly worried that Faith was here, and she really didn't want to bust in on something that no one needed to see. She raised her hand, knocking lightly on the door. When he opened it, he seemed surprised to see her.

'Buffy!' _Back to calling me by name_. 'I, er, I wasn't expecting you.'

_Because he was expecting Faith._ Buffy felt a bit sick. 'Who were you expecting?' She asked innocently, as if she didn't know the two were bumping uglies. He shrugged.

'No one, really. Wasn't expecting any kind of visitors.'

She smiled. 'Can I come in?'

He hesitated and then nodded. 'Yeah, sure.' He seemed a bit more relaxed than he normally was around her.

'How've you been? Not seen much of you lately.' She questioned, looking around his neat flat. It was definitely tidier than the last time she'd seen it.

'Been adjusting.' He said, shutting the door and hovering by it, as if he needed to bolt at any second. Maybe he was expecting Faith any time and didn't want his girlfriend suspecting anything.

'I was worried.' She said, looking him straight in the eye and he nodded.

'I know. I'm, er, I'm sorry.'

'I got my SAT scores.' He frowned. She realised he probably didn't know what those were. 'Like, exams for college acceptance? My mom's been looking at a bunch of places.'

'You're not staying in Sunnyhell then?' He asked, and she swore she heard disappointment in his tone.

'Well, Faith's-' she watched carefully for any hint on his face but there was none, 'here, she can handle the slaying. I could go off and see the world. Or at least America.'

'Oh.' He fidgeted. 'I mean, if that's what you wanted, good for you. I just thought-' He stopped and Buffy took a step towards him.

'You thought?' She nudged gently and he looked at her.

'Well, this is your turf right? Faith's a slayer and all but…she's not you.' His tone became soft and Buffy froze, wondering just how deep the meaning of those words went.

'So, you think I should stay.' She stated and he shook his head.

'No. I'm not making the decision for you. If you're asking for my opinion as a friend – well, Sunnydale UC has a good prospectus, from what I've seen.'

'From what you've seen?' Buffy was confused. 'How would you have seen the prospectus?'

He squirmed under her gaze. 'I went to see…your mum asked if I'd like some hot chocolate. She showed me a few of the brochures. I had a bit of a nose.' He sighed. 'I'm not telling you to leave. And I'm not telling you to stay. I'm telling you to make your own decision about what would make you happy.'

Buffy stared at him and Spike looked at the clock on his wall quickly, but she caught him.

'You waiting for something?' She asked. 'You seem antsy.'

'Nothing.' He said, too quickly. She narrowed her eyes.

'You expecting, Faith, perhaps?' He sagged and she almost smiled. Busted.

'No.'

Wait, what?

'But you have been…seeing her?' She asked and he looked at her in surprise.

'Well, we're friends. She's lonely. She wanted someone to hang out with. So I did, because none of the Scoobies seemed interested. We watch a couple of movies, have a few drinks, patrol on occasion. Nothing else.' He almost glared at her. 'What did you think was going on?'

'I don't know!' She defended herself. 'Just didn't want you getting perfect happiness is all. Last thing we need is Angelus on the loose, if your souls are still connected.'

Spike did glare this time and it was full of venom. 'In case you hadn't noticed, Slayer.' _And there goes my name again._ 'I've not exactly been singing in the damn rain lately. And from what I understand, it should be you watching your carnal urges.'

'Who told you?' She demanded.

'No one. I used my enhanced vampire eyeballs to watch you snogging him.' She went red but Spike didn't stop talking. 'I never wanted to be part of your little crew, okay? I was quite happy without friends, wallowing in misery and saving the odd mortal. But _you_ happened. And now I'm plagued. I can't seem to get out of this town. Do you know how many times I've driven to the city limits, only to swing around and come back here because you might need me? And what if I did decide to get down and dirty with Faith? I've been alone for a century, and she's a nice girl, once you get to know her. She's fun. But I wouldn't do anything. And you know why?'

She shook her head, too stunned by his outburst to say anything.

He raised sad blue eyes to her, and she saw then, without him needing to say anything. 'Because I'm in love with _you_, Buffy. I'm drowning in you.'

Silence dropped on top of them like a wrecking ball and Buffy stood, rooted to the spot and stunned. Spike loved her.

'How…why?' She said slowly, as if the words were taking an age to penetrate her brain.

He sighed heavily, leaning back against the door. 'I don't know. Since I saw you? You're…I should _never_ have come to this bloody town.'

'I don't…why?' She repeated.

'Why?' He asked, laughing mirthlessly. 'I don't know. I should have stayed away. How could someone not love you? You're light, sunshine, everything good rolled up into one tiny blonde spitfire package.' He pushed off of the door, sensing someone behind it. 'Look. You have to go.'

'Go? Where?' Buffy wasn't sure if she could produce longer words right now. She jumped as someone knocked on the door. 'Is that Faith?'

'No.' Spike turned, opening the door, revealing a demon, with floppy skin, pink ears and eyes, and a bucket of chicken in his hands. 'Hello, Clem.' The demon waved a little and then saw Buffy, startling a little at her presence.

'Hi Spike. Is that the Slayer? Do you want me to come back later?' The demon, Clem, seemed nervous.

'No. It's okay. She was just leaving.' Spike looked back to her. 'It's Passions night. Bit of a tradition nowadays.'

Buffy seemed to be frozen for a second, until she remembered herself. 'Yeah. Okay. Sorry.' She moved forward, stopping briefly in front of Spike and looking up into his blue eyes. He looked like he was fighting it, but he looked back, and she smiled. 'Don't avoid me, okay?'

He didn't respond straight away, and then he nodded gently. She smiled again, nodded at Clem and left the apartment. The demon watched her retreating form, then turned to the vampire in the doorway.

'Well. She's intense.'

* * *

><p>Buffy hadn't known what to do with herself after seeing Spike, and his confession that he loved her. Knowing he cared was one thing, knowing he loved her…whole new ball game. She headed to the library, intent on training some of the aggravation away. She'd been slacking lately, with all the drama.<p>

Half an hour into her routine, Cordy and Oz burst in, panic on their faces. The cheerleader looked relieved to find her.

'Thank god you're here!' She exclaimed. Buffy frowned. As far as she was aware, Oz and Cordy were on a double date with Xander and Willow. So why were they here?

'Well, yeah. Not all of us have dates tonight.' She replied, looking between the two.

'Something's up.' Oz explained. 'We were supposed to be bowling. But no Willow or Xander. And there's more. In the science room.'

Buffy nodded, grabbing her jacket and her stake. She followed the two other teens to the science room and her eyes immediately roamed over the broken utensils and the magic book on the side.

'We were supposed to meet in here. I don' know what could have happened.' Cordelia said, her voice full of fear. Buffy moved over to the table, frowning at the instruments on the side and the ingredients.

'What is all this stuff? I'm thinking weird science.'

'Was Willow messing with her magic tricks again? Maybe they disappeared. Maybe she turned Xander into something ishy!' The cheerleader's voice was beginning to grate. Buffy looked around, her frown still fixed on her face.

'Whatever happened, there was obviously a fight.'

'I don't see any blood.' Oz said quietly.

'Yeah, either they were taken, or they ran, or maybe…'

Cordelia pointed at her. 'You're having too many ors. Pick one!'

'I don't know.' Buffy shrugged. 'I need you guys to find Giles, okay? I'm gonna go look for them. Maybe they didn't get too far.'

'Where is Giles?' Cordelia asked.

'He's at a retreat in the clearing in Breaker's Woods.'

Oz nodded. 'I know the spot. It's a forty five minute drive though.'

'So? Motor!' Buffy ordered and the two teenagers scooted out the door. Buffy turned and moved out of the room, noticing the light was on in Ms Calendar's classroom. The Slayer frowned, wondering why the teacher was here so late. She walked over, peering in through the window and seeing the teacher grading reports. She tried to open the door, but it was locked and Buffy knocked lightly. Jenny smiled as she looked up, and moved to unlock the door, letting Buffy in.

'Sorry. I always lock the doors now. Just in case.'

'Hey, Ms Calendar. I was just wondering if you heard anything from the science room. Willow and Xander were in there and it looks like they've been kidnapped.'

'No! I didn't hear anything. I'm sorry, Buffy. Is Rupert back yet?'

Buffy shook her head. 'No. Cordy and Oz went to get him. I'm gonna try and find Xander and Willow. Hopefully I can get to them in time.' Jenny seemed to think for a second as Buffy went for the door.

'I can try a locator spell.'

'You think that would work?' Buffy asked, hopefully. Jenny nodded.

'I may need to pick up a few supplies…'

* * *

><p>Willow opened her eyes groggily. She almost shrieked, and then realised that Xander next to her, bleeding from a nasty gash on his forehead. He was unconscious. She sat up, looking around at their surroundings. They were underground, and the bare brick walls were filthy. They were laying on some crates with a wooden board over them, but as far she could see they were alone.<p>

She tried to remember what had happened and all she could drag up was trying the delusting spell and then being grabbed from behind. She didn't know who had taken them or where they were. She could only hope that Buffy would find them.

'Xander.' She whispered, but the boy didn't reply. 'Xander!' She tried, a little louder.

'Ah. You're awake.' A voice echoed from the darkness and a male vampire sauntered out, his yellow eyes focused on the red head. 'Good. I was getting bored.'

'Who are you?' Willow asked, shaking a little with fear and cold.

The vampire grinned, revealing sharp fangs. 'My name is Michael. You're the slayer's friends.'

'Slayer?' Willow pretended to act dumb.

'That won't work, my dear. You see, I have a bone to pick with the Slayer. And it's your bones I'll be using.'

Willow's eyes went wide as the vampire drew closer.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>I said I wasn't going to post all of the chapters I've written today...but I love you all so darn much lol<p> 


	22. Maybe In Another Life

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note: **This is the last of the three chapters I wrote today. Needless to say it was a very boring day at work and my muse is on a roll lately. So I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you again for all your wonderful feedback x

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Maybe In Another Life<strong>

* * *

><p>The spell had revealed that Willow and Xander were being held somewhere in the lookout point area. She knew the place well and often patrolled there – but without knowledge of who she was dealing with, she knew she needed backup. She went to Angel first and he was more than happy to help her out, grabbing his coat quickly. She decided to cut through Restfield to get to her friends, and on the way through, they bumped into Spike.<p>

The blond vampire looked less than pleased to see them. Angel glowered and Spike glared back and Buffy instantly decided she did not have time for the macho crap.

'Look, Spike, Xander and Willow have been kidnapped.' He nodded.

'I was on my way out for smokes. I can give you a hand though.' He offered and Angel's eyes narrowed further. The blond's speech was slightly slurred and Buffy guessed that his Passions night had turned into a whiskey pity party. Spike really did drink too much.

'We can handle it.' The brunette vampire insisted and the Slayer sighed.

'We don't even know what we're dealing with.' She said, not looking at Spike, her irritated gaze on the younger vampire.

'Okay. Fine.'

Spike tagged along in silence, keeping his distance behind the two. As they exited Restfield, a group of vampires came up to them. There was at least fifteen, and they were all growling and vamped out.

'Oh crap.' Buffy said, raising her fists. One of the vampires stepped forward.

'Michael sends his regards.'

Spike rolled his eyes. 'Who the hell is Michael?' Buffy demanded, her entire body vibrating with adrenaline.

The vampire grinned. 'You killed his mate. Now he'll kill your friends.'

'Really? That doesn't usually end well.'

The vampire surged as one and the fight started. Spike took out two in one hit and Angel fought against one of his own, the rest circled the Slayer. She raised her stake, smiling at the vampire who'd spoken.

'Come on then.' She flew at him, hitting him hard with a right hook and then bringing her leg up to sweep his legs out from underneath him. Within seconds, Mr Bravado was dust in the wind and Buffy moved onto the next victim, twisting around to avoid his blows and delivering a jab to his stomach, doubling him over and enabling her to embed her stake in his back. He, too, joined the dust on the floor. The third vampire took a little longer, as two of them decided to double team her and she struggled to keep up with the punches and kicks. She eventually managed to dust the two, and another, bigger vampire rushed her. She used the momentum to spin him round and she tripped as she dusted him, landing in Angel's arms as she fell forward.

There was pause as they looked at each other and neither noticed Spike dust his last opponent. The remainder of the vampires had legged it, realising this was a fight they were not going to win.

The blond vampire turned, looking over at the two embracing and he rolled his eyes. Buffy seemed to remember where they were at and she pulled away, looking down at the floor. Angel looked disappointed, and he caught Spike's look of disgust.

'What?' He demanded of the older vampire, who snorted.

'You. You're pathetic.'

'What do you mean by that?' Buffy asked, slightly outraged. 'We're just friends.' Spike scoffed at her.

'You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love until it kills you both. You'll fight and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver. But you'll never be friends.' He splayed a hand over his chest. 'Love isn't brains, children. It's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work it's will.' Buffy stared at him and Angel glared, anger reflecting in his brown eyes.

'You're drunk.' He said, sniffing the air. Spike regarded him with disdain.

'Maybe I am.' The blond retorted. He looked at the Slayer, who didn't want to look at him or Angel. 'Shall we find your friends?' Buffy nodded slowly, trying to put his words out of her mind. She didn't need more confusion.

Spike moved off, seemingly uncaring if the others followed.

* * *

><p>Oz stopped the van suddenly as they drove past an old outpost near where all the teens usually gathered to make out. Cordelia looked at him as he scented the air.<p>

'What's wrong?' She asked.

'Willow. She's scared.'

He reversed the van up as Cordy wrinkled her nose. 'You can smell her? That's disturbing.'

'It really is.' The musician agreed.

* * *

><p>'Will, we're not gonna die.' Xander said, looking at her with worry in his eyes. The vampire had left them be for a few moments and Willow was panicking. She didn't know how they could get out of there and Michael had made it pretty clear that he was going to kill them to get revenge on the slayer. 'We just need to wait and then make a sudden move. Take him by surprise. There's only one of him. I'm sure between the two of us we can rival vampire strength.' Willow eyed him dubiously. Xander attempted to get up and hissed at the pain.<p>

'Lay down.' Willow put a hand on his chest and pushed him backwards, ignoring the tingling feeling where their bodies connected. She pulled back as Xander went to pull her closer. This was happening way too often. If only she'd had time to do the spell. 'We're not supposed to.'

'Exemption for impending death situation.'

Willow didn't fight and she let Xander pull her down, his arm slipping around her as they kissed deeply. She gripped his shoulder as they continued making out, and only a noise by the door distracted them. They both looked up at the same time, seeing Cordelia and Oz coming down the stairs.

'Oh god.' Cordelia whispered, disgust on her face. Willow sprung back from her friend, guilt written across her face.

'Oh god.' Xander repeated his girlfriend's words as Willow looked at Oz.

'Oh god, Oz…' She whispered and the werewolf turned, no expression on his face.

'We have to get outta here.' He said, and Cordelia started to run up the stairs, tears starting to run down her face. Xander called her but she ignored him, continuing up the steps. The old staircase gave way and with a shriek, Cordelia plummeted to the floor…

* * *

><p>The nights had been quieter recently. In some ways he was grateful, but it was getting boring. He'd only found three fledglings tonight and they had been no trouble. He was contemplating heading over to Willy's and starting a fight for the hell of it. But as it was, he was lost in his own thoughts. He regretted what he had said to Buffy and Angel when he'd been drunk, even if he thought it had been true. She would always love Angel, just as Angel would always love her. He knew Whistler had told him it was never meant to be but that didn't usually stop love.<p>

Buffy had asked him not to avoid her, and in all honesty...he hadn't _really _been avoiding her, just, he hadn't been necessarily _looking_ for her. They hadn't found Michael and the general consensus was that the vampire had skipped town. His revenge plans for the slayer had not gone to plan. Spike knew the cheerleader had been the one to truly suffer, having ignored everyone since it had happened. Spike only knew about it because he'd bumped into Xander at the Bronze and they had shared a game of pool, whilst the vampire listened to the boys regret of the incident. The whole thing had left the redhead on the outs with her wolf boy too.

Spike didn't miss human dramas.

In truth he had enough of his own. What had possessed him to ever tell the Slayer the truth of his feelings, he did not know. It hadn't eased his feelings, and he doubted anything would. It was difficult to pinpoint the source of his pain; whether it was the love he felt or the guilt over his perceived betrayal of Cath…he didn't know.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn't even notice the Slayer until she was opposite him, her hazel eyes boring into him as he came to a stop.

'Hi.' She said, meekly. 'You okay?'

He wasn't sure how to answer that question. He'd fully recovered from the physical aspects of his injuries but his mind was a jumbled mess. In the end he shrugged and she sighed in frustration.

'I was gonna come see you.' She said, folding her arms. 'I was just with the others.' She waved behind her and he nodded, but remained quiet. She took a breath. 'What you said the other night…'

'Forget it. I was drunk. I tend to talk crap when I'm hammered.' He looked around, looking anywhere but at her. She nodded.

'Okay. But I wasn't talking about what you said to Angel.' She narrowed her eyes. 'But we are just friends.'

'Yeah.' He said, beginning to move off.

'I was talking about what you said to me.' He froze as her words filtered through and he shut his eyes tightly. 'You weren't drunk then.' She said, waiting for an answer. 'It scared me.'

He wasn't expecting that. 'Scared you?'

'I don't understand why or how it happened.' She started. 'It's confusing. I have a lot of…I care about you.'

'But you love Angel.' She didn't reply and he drew his gaze to her, wondering what was running through her head.

'I don't want to risk either of you. The curse…'

'Yeah. I know.' He sighed, pushing his hands into his pockets. 'I'm here to help, Buffy. I don't expect anything of you. Or from you. Just…if you need me, you know where I am.' She nodded and made as if to say something else, but she snapped her mouth shut at the last second.

'Goodnight, Spike.'

'Goodnight, Sl-Buffy.' He said with a small smile, before heading off into the night. She watched him leave, wondering how she could figure this all out.

* * *

><p>'Buffy Summers.' Cordelia announced loudly to her new friend, Anya, who listened intently. 'That's when all my troubles started. When she moved here.'<p>

'Are you okay?' Anya said, noticing that Cordelia was wincing and holding her side.

'Oh, I just pulled some stitches last night. Know why?' She glanced over the quad, seeing Buffy with Willow and Xander, laughing about something. 'Surprise. It was Buffy's fault.' Anya followed the girl's gaze to the small group sat on the bench.

Harmony approached then, her sarcastic smile aimed at Cordelia. The previous night they'd walked past her, laughing after an incident with a vampire had landed Cordelia in a pile of rubbish outside the Bronze. Hence the ripped stitches and complete destruction of dignity.

'Oh look, it's Garbage Girl. Loved the look last night, Cor, Dumpster Chic for the dumped.' She and the rest of her bitch brigade moved off, leaving Cordelia looking down in embarrassment. Anya took her pendant off, offering it to Cordy.

'Here. I think you need this more than I do right now.' Cordelia lifted her hair away from her neck as Anya fastened the pendant around her.

Yeah, I can use some luck.' She looked over at Buffy again. 'And a stick with pointy, sharp bits. If that Buffy wasn't…I swear. She's a pain.'

Anya nodded. 'But Xander, he's an utter loser. Don't you wish…' Cordy cut her off again.

'I never would've looked twice at Xander if Buffy hadn't made him marginally cooler by hanging out with him.'

'Really?' Anya turned to look at Buffy again.

'Yeah. I swear. I wish Buffy Summers had _never_ come to Sunnydale.' Her words were filled with venom and as Anya turned back, her face was contorted and veined, her demon visage clear. Cordelia gasped as the demoness smiled.

'Done.'

Everything went white.

* * *

><p><strong>(Wish-verse)<strong>

They'd gotten the call early on and had jumped straight in the car. She'd called her mom to let her know they were off again and wished the older lady well. Her Watcher had been insistent that they leave soon but return quickly, with Cleveland having it's own problems. Buffy didn't like leaving the city much, but when the call came, they had no choice but to leave.

Thank god for Spike's ability to travel during the day. She smiled over at him, running a hand over his denim clad knee as he started up the old Desoto. He smiled back, reaching over and running a hand down her face, over the scar that marred her features. He always said he loved that scar, that it was the mark of a warrior. She just teased that he was jealous hers was bigger.

He'd been in Cleveland a good twenty years before she had ended up there. Her mom and dad had divorced and her mom had to move. She'd been looking to stay in California, but when the call had come through for the gallery in Cleveland, her mom couldn't resist. So she'd moved Buffy there, and had quickly found that where the slayer went, vampires tended to follow.

Death wishes all round.

She'd bumped into Spike one night outside a bar and they'd fought. He'd been good but when he'd discovered she was a slayer, he'd gone to ground. She'd sought him out, eager to finish their fight.

It had been no surprise that they had ended up in bed together. Not like he wasn't pleasing to look at.

They had been inseparable since, and they had each others backs all the time. She'd quickly moved out of her mom's house, much to her displeasure, considering she'd not met Spike, and moved in with him, enjoying their time fighting as well as watching movies. Buffy hadn't made any friends in Cleveland, and she'd dropped out of school fairly quickly. What money they had, Spike made and Buffy was okay with that. It freed up her time for killing demons and training. She was one of the best, he often told her.

So heading back to California was a bit of a surprise. She'd not wanted to go back, but she could at least thank her lucky stars that she had Spike with her and she wasn't returning to LA. That, she could deal with.

When they slowly pulled into the darkened town, her senses went nuts. This place was overrun with vampires. She shuddered and Spike's eyes darkened.

'We should get started. Find this Rupert Giles your watcher told us about.'

She nodded, waiting for him to park up, and then she climbed out of the vehicle, closely followed by the vampire. He locked up, and they started walking. Spike listened intently for anything in the vicinity, whilst Buffy kept her eyes peeled. It didn't take long to find a fight. Vampires were chasing people across the road, and it looked liked they'd been trying to round them up into a van. A tweed clad man lay on the floor, taking a pounding and Buffy immediately jumped into the fray, followed by Spike. Between them they took out the remaining vamps with ease, and when all were dusted, Spike pulled Buffy to him in a bruising kiss. He smiled as she pushed him off, a whispered "later" on her lips. She then turned to the tweed man on the floor, who looked up at her and the vampire with equal parts curiosity and fear.

'Buffy Summers?' He asked, pulling himself up. Buffy put her hands on her hips and regarded him coldly. He looked at her, taking in her combat trousers, vest and very army-like stance.

'That's right. Wanna tell me what we're doing here?'

* * *

><p>The apartment looked very "middle aged" as Buffy and Spike walked in. The watcher – Rupert Giles – went straight for his books, looking through one after another, comparing pictures to the gold amulet in his hands. The Slayer watched him, looking bored as Spike went straight for the liquor cabinet. Giles paid him no mind as he went through the books.<p>

'Ah! Ah! Ah!' He exclaimed, finding the book he wanted and carrying it to his desk. 'Here.' He offered the book to Buffy, who looked at him blankly. She didn't do research. That was what Watchers were for. Spike poured himself a drink and watched them both. 'In order to defeat Anyanka, one must destroy her power centre. This should reverse all the wishes she's granted, rendering her mortal and powerless again. You see? Without her powercentre, she'd just be an ordinary woman again, and all this would be, um…well, different.' Buffy blinked at him, uncaring. Spike frowned. 'Well, I'd say my Watcher muscles haven't completely atrophied after all.' He shut the book.

'What's her power centre?' Spike asked. Buffy looked at the vampire.

'Can't I just stake her?'

'She's not a vampire.' Giles explained and Buffy shrugged. Spike chuckled.

'You'd be surprised how many strange things she's killed with a piece of wood.'

Giles looked at the vampire, his eyes narrowing. 'I recognise you. You're William The Bloody.'

'He goes by Spike.' Buffy corrected. 'No one calls him William anymore.' She moved over to the vampire's side. 'Except me. If he's been bad.'

'You are…involved?' Giles questioned, raising an eyebrow. Buffy nodded.

'As involved as you can be, mate.' Spike said, his eyes not leaving the blonde slayer. 'Claimed and everything.'

Giles almost choked and Buffy laughed a little as she moved to the sofa, proceeding to spit shine her boots. Spike helped himself to another shot of whiskey and offered some to Buffy who shook her head.

'You know I like to fight on a clean head.' She continued with her boots, then looked up at Giles. 'So we kill this bad fairy and all the bad goes away?'

'I don't want to kill her, Miss Summers, I merely want to reverse the effect she has had on this world.'

Buffy shrugged. 'Okay, so we make the troubles go away.'

'It's probably not that simple.'

'World is what it is.' Buffy stated, standing slowly. 'We fight, we die. Wishing doesn't change that.' Her voice was hard, and Spike nodded in agreement.

'I have to believe in a better world.' Giles said, gritting his teeth.

'Go ahead. I live in this one.' Buffy said, looking over at Spike. 'I don't mind it.' She moved over to her vampire.

'Cordelia said she knew that I was meant to be your Watcher. She said she knew you.' Giles said slowly, his eyes on the slayer. Buffy shrugged.

'Probably just a big fan.'

'The Master sent his most vicious disciples to kill her. Now she, she must have posed some threat to him.'

'Did you say The Master?' Spike asked, suddenly concerned. Buffy looked up at him, then over to Giles.

'Yes.' The Watcher fumbled his words. 'He's the supreme vampire round these parts-'

'I know exactly who he is.' Buffy said, her gaze returning to Spike. The vampire frowned. 'Maybe we can do some good whilst we're here?' She suggested and Spike nodded.

'Taking out the Master would be points in my column.' Giles looked at the vampire curiously.

'You can't just walk in there and…'

'Look, you wanna stay here and play make-believe, that's fine. I'm not gonna be any help to you anyway. There's only one thing I'm good at.' Buffy said and Spike leered. She smirked at him. 'Well…not just _one_ thing.' Giles rolled his eyes at their behaviour before the Slayer turned to him, all business.

'Where's this club?'

* * *

><p>The Bronze was empty when they arrived, and Buffy quickly sent Spike to check the upper levels. She headed for the basement and she grimaced at the amount of dead or dying humans lying around. A few moaned, indicating they were still in the land of the living, but she had no time to muck around and it didn't seem like the emergency services in this town would care much. She wasn't a doctor, so she couldn't help them.<p>

Walking into the basement's lower levels revealed cages, and she walked into the only open one, seeing the brown haired man chained to the wall. She eyed him without expression, noting the wounds and the fact that he was not breathing. When he stirred, she jumped, realising he was a vampire.

He looked up at her, recognition flaring in his eyes, but she turned and began to walk away.

'Buffy.' He whispered and she turned, looking down at him with curiosity. 'Buffy Summers.' The vamp repeated. He stared at her and she returned the look with equal intensity, sensing Spike nearing her from behind. 'It's you. I mean…you don't remember. How could you?'

'How did you know my name?'

'I waited. I waited here for you. But you never…I was supposed to help you.' Spike chose that moment to appear, and he looked down at the vampire with interest. Buffy sniffed. 'I have all the help I need.'

'Hello, Angelus.' Spike said, his eyes focused on the younger vampire.

'_This_ is Angelus?' Buffy asked, looking down at him with something akin to shock on her face. She didn't seem impressed. From what Spike had told her about the other vampire, she somehow expected more.

'Spike.' The vampire spat, weakly. 'What are you doing here?'

'Apparently saving the day again.' He moved forward, pulling Angel's restraints free. 'Why are you here?'

'The Master rose. He let me live, to punish me.' Angel rubbed his wrists, standing and grimacing. 'I kept hoping you'd come. My destiny.' His eyes lingered on Buffy, and Spike felt a growl rising in his throat.

Buffy snorted. 'I'm not your anything.' She spat, backing up towards Spike. Angel saw the scar on her throat and he stared at it, his expression wounded.

'You…' His eyes went to Spike. 'Him…'

'Yeah, yeah. Look, we don't have time for this. Where's the Master?'

Angel was quiet for a few moments, absorbing the information and then he spoke, his eyes cast downwards in resignation. 'They're at his factory. It starts tonight.'

'Factory?' Buffy queried, looking up at Spike, who nodded his affirmation of trust for Angel.

The brunette vampire nodded, looking back up. 'I can take you there.'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>D'ya like what I did there? Did ya? :P<p> 


	23. Fool Me Once

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note:** I love this. I'm really enjoying writing this story. And most of it is because of you wonderful people. I get excited when I get emails! I think it's lovely that we're approaching the eleventh anniversary of the end of Buffy, yet people are still so passionate about it. Joss really did change the world with this show ^.^ P.S. I will never agree with Sarah Michelle Gellar. Spike all the way baby!

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Fool Me Once<strong>

* * *

><p>The walk to the factory was tense, but not from Buffy's side. They'd stopped at the Desoto for more weapons, and the Slayer had grabbed her trusty crossbow, which she toted over one shoulder. Angel had spent the whole time glaring at Spike, who merely grinned in response. The darker vampire hurried along, a distinct limp in his gait and Buffy eyed him carefully.<p>

'Are you gonna be any use in a fight?' She questioned and he stopped, looking at her.

'I can still fight. Believe me when I say I want them all dead.'

'Good for you.' Buffy shrugged. 'I just don't like liabilities.'

Spike chuckled. 'We'll be fine, luv. Been in worse scrapes.'

Angel shook his head. 'You don't understand. The Master runs this town. It's a vampire haven. And what he's doing now? Not so great for the rest of the world.'

'What's his grand plan then?' Buffy asked, tapping her foot impatiently.

'A factory for mass production of human blood.' The slayer wrinkled her nose.

'How do you "mass produce" blood?'

'It's evolution, or so he calls it.' Angel explained and Spike snorted.

'Ol' Batface always did take the fun out of everything.' He looked to Buffy. 'Can we get this over with? I've got a poker game I'd like to get back for.'

Buffy rolled her eyes. 'And there's me thinking you'd enjoy some violence en masse. You were complaining things were dead back home.'

The blond vampire shrugged. 'I don't like this town. Something off about it.'

'That'd be all the evil.' The slayer teased. 'You being a good guy and all.'

Angel watched the interplay between them and felt sickened. This was wrong. Buffy had been supposed to come to Sunnydale and he was supposed to be at her side, not Spike. He'd seen her at her old high school, the bright bubbly teen that he'd immediately fallen for; this brash woman was not the same girl. Spike had to be the reason.

'The factory is this way.' Angel motioned, moving off without the couple. They looked at each other, and followed. As they approached the building, the brunette vampire turned to the slayer. 'What's the plan?'

Buffy handed him a stake. 'Try not to fall on this.' She offered and he frowned. Spike pulled out his own stake from the pockets of his duster, and smirked.

'A good brawl. Just what I've been needing.' He leered at Buffy. 'I haven't forgotten your promise, kitten.' She flashed him a smile and crept into the building. Angel waited for Spike, but the blond shook his head and began to scale the wall of the building. Angel sighed and followed Buffy. He didn't have the strength to follow Spike even if he wanted to.

Sneaking into the factory was easy – the vamps had long since stopped being guard for any attack in this town. They ran it, simply put. Buffy had pulled the crossbow from it's resting place over her shoulder and loaded it, aiming for the mangled looking vampire on the stage, standing above all the others. She knew Spike would be positioning himself on the roof, ready to fight at her signal. She took in the crowd quickly – there were at least thirty vamps, plus a cage full of humans. If she could get them loose, it would cause chaos. Some of them might be killed, but that was collateral damage in the grand scheme of things.

She took aim at the Master, and let the bolt fly. He had seen it already, and pulled a dark haired leather clad vampire in front of him, who took the shot in the shoulder and groaned in pain as the Master pushed him away. Buffy reloaded and aimed again, this time dusting a different vamp.

Panic exploded amongst the vampires and Buffy headed for the first opponent. The crossbow was knocked from her hands so she reverted to her fists, throwing punches and ducking blows. Angel had moved to the cage and released the humans, which, as she predicted, had caused more chaos in the crowded room. Buffy vaguely registered Spike dropping from the air, and landing on two vampires who he proceeded to beat the hell out of.

A red head leather clad vampiress glared at her and then spotted Angel, snarling at him. 'Puppy got out.' She lunged, but Buffy intercepted her and she faced off with the red head, a cold expression on her face. 'Slayer.' The vampire growled and Buffy shrugged, throwing a fist in the girl's face. She shrieked and hit back, landing a solid blow to the stomach of the slayer. She doubled over, then recovered, kicking her opponent in the midrift. The vampire didn't seem phased much by it and she swung her arm round. Angel yelled then, and ran for the two women. The red head almost roared as she countered his attack and impaled him on a piece of broken wood. He looked down, seeing the wood through his chest, straight through his heart. He reached out as his body began to crumble but Buffy paid him no mind, sending a hard kick in the red haired vampire's direction, and she went flying across the room towards the cage where the humans had been.

Buffy turned, looking for Spike and seeing him dust the black clad male vampire she'd hit with the bolt instead of the Master. The old vampire was still stood on the stage, observing the chaos as his red eyes locked with hers. She could feel the power rolling off of him. He began to move towards her, pushing vamps and humans out of the way. She did the same, her stake ready and her fists raised.

She threw her first hit as she got close, landing it on his nose. She felt the satisfying crunch of bone under her fingers and grinned as the fight well and truly began. The Master was strong, no doubt, but she had years of training with a vampire descended from his line under her belt and the strength that came with being a Slayer. He avoided some of her blows but not all, and she smiled as she span and kicked him in the side of the head. He growled and twisted away from her, coming up behind her. She paused for a moment, recognising the move as one she'd learnt from Spike. He was attempting to break her neck. As his hands descended to the sides of her head, she ducked, almost contorting as she brought herself around to face him. The Master stared in shock as he looked down and saw her fist clasping the stake embedded in his chest.

At that moment, Spike laughed loudly, turning to her as he finished off his last opponent. 'You might wanna make sure that's finished, pet.' She smiled cruelly and lashed out with her foot, kicking the stake until it was almost completely embedded in the Master's chest. He blinked, as if he wasn't quite believing what was happened and then fell backwards.

He didn't dust immediately like other vampires. His body disintegrated slowly, leaving behind almost bleached white bones. Buffy frowned as she looked down, and then glanced to Spike.

'He is dead right?'

Spike nodded, grinning. 'Yeah. We'll have to destroy the bones, or no doubt some devout moron will try and resurrect him.'

'What about all the other vamps?'

A small man with brightly coloured orange hair waved at them a little. 'Hey. Think most of them scarpered.'

'The red head I was fighting?' Buffy questioned, moving closer to Spike almost subconsciously.

'Dead.' He shrugged.

'Oh. So we're all good here?' The slayer asked, looking round.

'Does that mean I won't miss my poker game?' Spike teased, grabbing her around the waist. She smiled, her fingers tangling in his hair as he kissed a path down her jaw.

'I guess not. Although we should stay and do a clean up. Get the loose vamps.' He made a noise of affirmation. She giggled as he kissed a sensitive spot. 'Spiiiiike…'

The world went white.

* * *

><p>'I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale.' Cordelia announced and Anya turned, smiling.<p>

'Done.'

Nothing happened. Anya stopped, shocked at the lack of anything happening.

'That would be cool. No, wait!' Cordelia began to walk, a little bit of spring in her step with the ranting. 'I wish Buffy Summers had never been born!'

'Done!' Anya said, almost desperately. Again nothing happened and she began to sag, realising that the Watcher had destroyed her pendant and that she was now mortal. And not just mortal – a teenager!

'And I wish that Xander Harris never again knows the touch of a woman. And that Willow wakes up tomorrow covered in monkey hair.'

'Done!' One last attempt made the now-former vengeance demon almost cry and she realised her predicament.

Over the other side of the quad, Buffy, Willow and Xander laughed, unaware of the world they had escaped.

* * *

><p>The town of Sunnydale celebrated Christmas with gusto. It was strange really, in a town that never saw snow, how everyone got right into the seasonal mood, putting up Christmas trees and buying huge amounts of presents. Which was exactly what Buffy was doing. It was early evening but the day had already given way to night, and she'd decided to postpone patrolling whilst she did some late night present finding.<p>

So seeing Angel wandering through the streets had been a little bit of a shock. She hadn't seen him in a few days, preferring to avoid him in favour of less confusing feelings. A man dressed as Santa joyfully wished the vampire a Merry Christmas and he just about jumped out of his skin, before spotting Buffy. She offered him a small smile as he approached.

'Hi.' He said softly.

'Angel…' She stopped, feeling awkward as he stared at her. 'So are you shopping?' She asked, and then realised the stupidity of her question. 'You're probably not shopping.'

'I couldn't sleep.' He explained, his hands deep in the pockets of his long black coat.

'Vampires probably not that big on Christmas, now that I think about it.' She was babbling now. _Oh god, shut up_.

'Not as a rule.' Angel said, trailing off.

'But you're good?'

'I'm alright. You?' He hadn't stopped staring at her. Had his eyes always been that intense?

'Yeah!' She smiled, sounding a little too enthusiastic. 'Yeah, I'm good. I, um, I was just getting some Christmas gifts for the gang.' She looked down at the numerous bags she carried. He wasn't looking at her anymore. 'I'd better go before the magic store closes.' He wasn't paying attention now. He was staring into the street. She frowned, looking behind herself. There was no one there; people were dwindling now the stores were closing. 'Angel?' He didn't reply. She looked again; still nothing. 'What is it?' She looked at him with concern.

Angel stood, rooted to the spot, his eyes rounded with fear. 'I-I gotta go.' He took off. Buffy frowned again, and watched him move down the road.

'That wasn't odd at all.'

* * *

><p>She'd mentioned Angel's odd behaviour to the others at school. They'd dismissed it, saying that both vampires had been acting differently since their return. She hadn't argued with that. But it hadn't stopped it playing on her mind. All the way home, she'd thought about it, the difference in the vampires. Spike especially, had been quieter, less bolshy since he'd been pulled out of hell. Although his drinking habits hadn't changed.<p>

Tonight was a special evening. It was tree night. Every year, she helped her mom with the decorations and picking out a tree. She knew this year that her mom was going alone to get the tree, but she was still looking forward to the decorating part. It usually involved cookies and milk, and Buffy was a big fan of both.

So when she walked in through the front door, she was surprised to see the tree still leaning against the hallway door and her mom nowhere in sight. A laugh came from the kitchen and she followed it, finding her mom sitting at the kitchen island and Spike sitting on the counter opposite, laughing about something.

'Hey.' She announced her arrival and her mom turned, smiling brightly.

'Oh, hey Buffy!' Joyce motioned to Spike. 'We were just talking about a customer at the gallery today.' Buffy nodded and motioned to the tree in the hall.

'You got the tree?'

'Yes!' Her mom smiled, standing up. 'Spike helped me get it in the house. You wanna start soon? I got the cookies and some full fat milk, as per tradition.'

'I'll leave you girls to it.' Spike said, hoping off the counter and heading for the back door. 'I'll catch you later Joyce.'

'Spike!' Buffy yelped, getting his attention, he turned to her expectantly and she smiled coyly. 'I, er, that is, if Mom doesn't mind,' she glanced to her mother, who raised her eyebrows. 'Maybe you could stay for a bit and maybe, er, help with the tree?' He didn't answer straight away. She bit her lip. 'I mean, we could always use help and I know vampire don't celebrate Christmas, but it's fun and there's cookies and-'

The vampire smiled and cut her off. 'I'd like that very much, Buffy.'

She smiled brightly at him and turned to her mother, who smiled too. 'Is that okay, Mom?'

'Of course. You're always welcome here, Spike, you know that.' He nodded.

'Appreciate it, Joyce.' The older woman clasped her hands together.

'Well, if we're having a man around to help out, guess who's getting the decorations out of the loft.' Buffy smiled at her mom's words and Spike rolled his eyes in jest. Mrs Summers smiled widely and left the room, leaving Spike and Buffy alone.

'Hanging out with my mom huh?'

'I actually came over to see you.' He said, not quite meeting her eyes.

'Huh?' She looked confused.

He shifted on his feet, looking every inch the shy teenaged boy for a moment. 'Was jus' gonna see if you wanted to patrol.'

'Oh.' Buffy smiled again. 'Maybe after. Can't miss out on all the fun.'

Many shenanigans later, the vampire and slayer had headed out on patrol. Spike was quiet, but not broody quiet like he'd been the past few months. He'd been his usual self, his pre-hell self, when they'd been putting up the tree, even going so far as to crack a dirty joke when her mom had asked if they were having an angel on top of the tree. It didn't help with the way her mom had phrased it either.

The conversation had been calm, and there had been no mention of demons or vampires, bar the one actually participating in the Summers' Christmas rituals. For a few moments it had been normal, and Buffy had enjoyed it.

But of course, a normal night in her world included killing things, something which Spike had been eager to indulge in. Unfortunately, it seemed they'd run out of conversation without a tree and ornaments to fight over.

'So…'Buffy started. 'What was Christmas like three hundred years ago?'

He smiled, looking over at her. 'Less plastic I think.' He pulled his cigarettes from his pocket and lit one. Buffy blinked in surprise. She couldn't remember the last time she'd actually seen him smoke. 'I always liked Christmas.' He said, almost wistfully. 'The lights, the presents, the food. It always appealed to me.'

'Well, you are a big kid sometimes.'

He threw her a dirty look. 'Put your claws away, Slayer.' He chuckled. 'Of course, being a vampire it was frowned upon to celebrate Christmas. But I used to always get Darla a present. And I got Cath…' He trailed off, quiet suddenly. Buffy felt her heart ache for him, remembering the past. He sighed. 'I got her this pendant. Hand made in another dimension, made of a metal no human would ever know. The stone in it was the same colour as her hair.' He shut his for a second, throwing the cigarette away. 'She lost it soon after. A demon snagged it and the damn thing threw it into the Thames. She was heart broken.'

'I'm sorry Spike.'

He shrugged. 'It was just a necklace. We were only friends then. I guess it was the fact that she cared so much about losing something I'd given her…' His voice faded again and he looked at her. 'Sorry. I'm gettin' all depressing.'

'Christmas is sometimes a naturally depressing time of the year. Have you _seen_ "It's A Wonderful Life?"'

He grinned. 'Yeah. I saw the original showing. Brilliant film.'

'I guess.' She shrugged. 'I try not to watch it. Too sad.'

'I quite like "The Grinch".' He said.

'You would.' Buffy teased.

The conversation was cut short as two vampires emerged from the darkness. Buffy sprang into action, attacking swiftly and efficiently, the fight over in seconds. Spike stood back and watched and once the vampires were dust, she turned to him.

'Didn't feel like helping?' She asked, a little breathless. He shook his head.

'You could handle it. You don't need protecting now, do you?' She smiled.

'I guess not. Where do you want to head to now?' He wasn't listening. He was staring at something behind her but as she turned she saw nothing. Looking back, she tilted her head slightly. 'Spike?' Not response. She snapped her fingers. 'Earth to Spike. You listening?'

He blinked, as if just noticing she was there and shook his head. 'Nothing. Er. Sorry. I have to go.' And he hurried past her, leaving her stood dumbfounded. First Angel, now Spike.

_What_ was going on with these vampires?

* * *

><p>Giles lifted the spoon and tasted his soup timidly. He'd been looking forward to trying out this particular recipe for weeks and Jenny was due round any moment. They hadn't been able to spend much time together recently as her work load had increased, and with all the supernatural activity, he hadn't wanted to bother her, knowing she didn't like being involved in it since the incident the previous year. He looked at his hand, wondering how it hadn't been bothering him much. The physical reminder was there, but he'd gotten used to his disfigurement rather quickly.<p>

A knock at the door made him smile, and he rushed to answer it, eager to see Jenny. When he opened it to see Angel, his smile faded quickly. For a moment he simply stared at the vampire, his expression neutral but not welcoming.

'Hello.' He said sternly.

Angel shifted uncomfortably. 'Um, I'm sorry to bother you.'

Giles laughed bitterly. 'Sorry. Coming from you that phrase strikes me as rather funny. "Sorry to bother me".' The vampire looked awkward.

'I need your help.'

Giles remained straight faced. 'And the funny keeps on coming.'

Angel swallowed hard, trying not to look desperate. 'I understand I have no right to ask for it, but there's no one else.'

'Alright.' The Watcher stepped backwards, retreating into the apartment and leaving the door open. Angel watched, confused by the apparent dismissal.

'I can't come in unless you invite me.'

Giles reached behind his desk, into the weapons chest, and pulled up a crossbow, loading it and aiming it carefully at the vampire. 'I'm aware of that.' He said dryly. He moved back to the door, his aim steady. 'Come in.'

Angel stepped over the threshold, his movement full of hesitation, his eyes on the crossbow.

'I've been seeing…I've…I've had dreams lately about the past. It's…it's like I'm living it again. It's so vivid, I, I need to know why I'm here.'

The Watcher frowned a little. 'Here. Back on Earth?'

The vampire nodded. 'I should be in a demon dimension suffering an eternity of torment.'

'I don't feel particularly inclined to argue with that.' Angel's gaze moved to the hand with the missing digit and he swallowed again, squirming uncomfortably.

'But I'm not. I was freed and I don't understand why.' Giles eyed him nervously.

'Spike has been asking the same question for weeks. Why does it take nightmares of your past to ask for a reason?' Angel blinked at the mention of the other vampire. 'Would knowing why you were back give you peace of mind?'

'It might.'

The Watcher put down his weapon, his eyes still on the vampire. 'You think that's something you ought to have?' Angel didn't reply, his eyes no longer on Giles. It seemed as though he was staring into space. 'Because, to be blunt, the last time you became complacent about your existence turned out rather badly.'

Angel definitely wasn't paying attention to him, his eyes gazing beyond the Watcher and if Giles wasn't mistaken, the vampire looked terrified.

'Angel?' He demanded and the vampire's attention snapped back to him.

'Don't you see her?'

'See who?' Giles looked around. 'There's no one here but me.' He frowned. 'We've found no information relating to either yours or Spike's return, yet. If you would care to-'

'No.' Angel said, his tone laced with terror.

'Pardon?'

The vampire shook his head, backing away from him. At that moment Jenny appeared in the doorway and she paled as she saw the vampire. Her eyes shot to Giles, who motioned for her to get inside as Angel stumbled backwards. His eyes landed on the teacher and he panicked.

'I can't!' He almost shouted, and then he ran. Giles moved to the door, looking out into the darkness and frowning.

'What the hell was that about?' Jenny asked, almost shaking from seeing the vampire that had almost taken her life.

'I haven't the foggiest.' He murmured, shutting the door.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>


	24. Coldness Inside

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Paranoid Or Stoned?<strong>

* * *

><p>Buffy's eyes burst open from sleep and she sat bolt upright, sweat covering her. That was a dream she didn't want to repeat at all. She'd started off with a fantastic dream about building rollercoasters and owning a farm, which had quickly turned into walking into a room to see Angel killed a maid. His hair was long and it looked like more of a memory than a dream. But again, not wanting a repeat.<p>

She got out of bed, dressing quickly, heading for school. It was a little after seven, so she was early, but she knew Giles would be there. And as if on cue, as she walked into the library, there he was, with Jenny, apparently sharing a coffee. Their body language spoke volumes and she squicked a little at the thought of what they had been doing.

'Hey.' Buffy said, taking a seat. 'So, I was sleeping all soundly, having a nice dream about theme parks and ponies, when suddenly, bam, Angel.'

Giles stood straight, smiling apologetically at Jenny. 'You had a dream about Angel?'

Buffy shook her head. 'I was in Angel's dream.'

The librarian removed his glasses, blinking rapidly. 'I'm not sure that's…'

'Giles, there was stuff in this dream that I couldn't possibly know about. It was Angel's past, he was dreaming it, and somehow I got sucked in.' Giles looked at her. 'There's something wrong with him.'

'I know. I've seen him. He wanted to know why he was back.'

'Well, haven't you been looking into that?' She demanded.

'We have. Spike has been researching a while, but he was more insistent the last time I saw him.' Buffy frowned.

'Angel did this thing – he's been staring at things that aren't there.'

'Yes. He did that last night. But then he started…well, for lack of a better term, he freaked out a little.'

'Spike did it too. Last night.' The Slayer thought back to their encounter. 'He was fine. We were patrolling, he was normal, almost himself again and then…bam. He stared at something, I couldn't see anything and then he was gone.' She looked to her Watcher. 'Do you think…whatever it is, is affecting both of them?'

'It might be so.' Giles looked at the time.

'So we're going to help them?'

The library doors swung open and Xander walked in. 'Where do we start?' Giles and Buffy looked at him in surprise. The teen smiled bashfully. 'Look, I'm aware I haven't been the mostest best friend to you when it come to the whole Angel thing, but, if this thing involves Spike too, I'm in. He's not a bad guy, for a vampire, and he knows how to listen to a man moan about the ladies.'

Buffy let the comment slide, and looked to Giles.

'Well, we start, not surprisingly, with research.' He moved to the office as Jenny approached him. 'I'll get what we have already.'

'Rupert, I'm going to go. You have everything I know. I have papers to grade and you know this stuff…'

Giles nodded, running a hand down her arm. 'Perfectly understandable. I'll see you later.' He leant down and gave her a quick kiss, ignoring the disgusted noises from Buffy and Xander. Jenny smiled at him and left. The librarian turned to the teens. 'Let's see what we have already.'

* * *

><p>A few hours later, and several missed classes, the group were joined by Willow, and they ploughed through the information they already had. None of them had found any link causing the vampires to be brought back from hell, and Buffy had moved to<p>

looking at prophecies. She'd gone through half a dozen about cheese and confused, she'd put them to one side. Her hand drifted over a new page and she sighed heavily.

'Found anything?' She asked Willow, who shook her head. Xander slammed his book shut.

'Nada.'

Buffy frowned, and looked back down at her page, skimming over the notes. The words jumped out at her catching her attention. _The Man within defeats the Beast._

'Hey.' She motioned. 'This looks promising.' Giles looked up from the counter. Buffy looked over the rest of the page, disregarding another passage about cheese. '"At the mouth of Hell, two warriors fight. One for light and one filled with both. The Man within defeats the Beast and the pair will be fulfilled."' She looked up. 'I have no idea what that means.'

Giles took the page from her, reading through it. 'The pairs will be fulfilled.'

'Well, we have a pair of vampires.' Xander pointed out. Willow nodded in agreement.

'But who's the man?' The red head asked. Xander grinned.

'I have been referred to as such.' Willow hit him. Buffy smiled at their antics and then looked back to Giles.

'Is there more of this prophecy?' She queried and he nodded.

'It looks like it. But it's in an archaic form of Latin that will take some time to translate.' He frowned at her. 'I will get started on it straight away.'

* * *

><p>Spike tossed and turned, pushing the covers off the bed and groaning as he pulled himself from the nightmare. He opened his eyes to the darkened room and swam out of unconsciousness, the remnants of the dream burning into his memory. He knew suddenly that he wasn't alone, although he heard no heartbeats and smelt no one else there. But the prickling at the back of his senses let him know he had a visitor.<p>

He sat up, and let his eyes adjust to the darkness. Standing at the foot of his bed was a figure, an obviously female figure with long hair.

'Spike…did you miss me?'

He jumped, her accented voice the last thing he ever expected to hear. 'Cath?' He asked, trying to focus on her. He scrambled out of bed, pulling the curtains to the side to let the light in.

'You got my gift.' She smiled, and he laid eyes on her for the first time in ninety years. She was as beautiful as he remembered, with her red hair loose like he liked. She was wearing the usual clothes she'd always patrolled in, disguised as a boy. And her smile…god he'd missed her smile. He stared at her, gobsmacked to see her. 'It is good to see you, Spike.'

He moved forward, but she backed away.

'Cath?'

'You're not quite the same though.' She whispered. He shook his head.

'It's been a long time,' he admitted. She looked at him sadly.

'And you've fallen for another.' He didn't answer. 'Will you kill her too?' His head shot upwards. Cath was leaning towards him. 'After all isn't it what you were born for? To slash and bash, maim and kill. Slayer of Slayers.' Suddenly Cath was gone and Darla stood before him. 'My darling boy. My first. And such victories you had. Pity you went and got yourself saddled with a soul. How many Slayers is it now? Five? Oh no, Angelus took the last one.' Darla smirked. 'Well, technically he took _both_ of them in the carnal sense.'

Spike felt sick and he turned away. Darla didn't leave him be, moving round to stand in front of him. 'I hadn't seen you coming, boy. But it doesn't matter.'

He didn't hear her properly as he backed away, shaking his head. 'No. Leave me alone.'

Cath was there again and he shut his eyes tight, unwilling to see her. _It's not her. It's not her. It's not her._

'Oh it's me, Spike. Remember? The Slayer you loved? The one you killed? You know how it goes. You care, we die. And we weren't the first.' She smiled, but he didn't see, his eyes still tightly shut as he pressed himself into the wall next to the bed, wishing she would go away. 'You'll get everyone you care about killed. It's just how you work. _That's_ your real curse. After all,' she sneered, 'You don't _need_ a soul.'

* * *

><p>Buffy opened her eyes to find herself in a luxurious bed, and she rolled over, seeing she was not alone. The man beside her reached over, his fingers trailing down her back, under her top. She arched into the touch, her mind suffused with arousal as his hands roamed over her skin. She moaned and he moaned too, kissing a path down her neck. She had her back to him as he pulled her into a spooning position against his cool body. His kisses continued and his lips caressed the pulse point in her neck.<p>

He slipper pyjama top off and his hands continued to roam freely, pushing her further and further into ecstasy. She closed her eyes, letting the sensations wash over her as he pulled her naked body even closer to his own. Their carnal intimacy spiralled and he thrust against her, pulling her head round to kiss her fiercely as he rhythmically pounded into her, making her cry out. As she neared the precipice, he vamped out and she fell over the edge, barely seeing the eyeless priest watching, as his fangs slipped into her jugular.

* * *

><p>In the library Buffy, awoke with a gasp, sitting straight up and knocking several books off of the shelf she'd fallen asleep against.<p>

* * *

><p>In the mansion, Angel awoke on the stone cold floor where he had passed out, his ghosts tormenting him. He could still taste Buffy in his mouth.<p>

* * *

><p>In his apartment, on the carpeted floor, his face pressed uncomfortably against the skirting board, Spike opened his eyes, guilt suffusing his being. He turned, looking up, feeling sick to his stomach as Cath smiled at him. 'You will kill her. It's what you do best.'<p>

* * *

><p>Angel looked up, gasping for unneeded air as the ghost of Kendra circled him. 'You want her.'<p>

'No.' He protested weakly.

'Take her. Take what you want. Pour all that frustration, all that guilt into her and you'll be free.' The dead slayer's voice surrounded him as she drew closer.

'No!' He tried to shout but it came out as a quiet yell. Kendra smiled, leaning in closer.

'You can't live for eternity with all that pain. This is what you are. This is why we brought you back. Take her. And then you'll be ready to kill her.'

* * *

><p>Buffy headed down the stairs as Giles emerged from the office, a book in his hands. He looked up as she approached, not really noting the shocked look on her face.<p>

'Buffy, take a look. These letters contain references to an ancient power known as The First.'

'The First?' She looked confused. 'The first what?' She ignored the approach of Xander, who listened to what Giles had to say.

'Evil. Absolute evil, older than man, than demons - very few have heard of it, fewer believe in it. But it is a force that transcends all realities, all dimensions, and if focused, could have had the power to bring Angel and Spike back.' He looked over at Buffy, finally noticing how pale she looked. She focused on the book.

'So it's evil. Which is bad.'

'Traditionally, but we don't know that this is-'

'Hey.' Buffy cut him off, seeing the picture in the book and pointing at it. 'I saw him. I had a dream...'

Giles frowned. 'Another one? What happened this time?'

'I'm not...I know I was with...someone. I got bit. And I saw this guy.'

'Was the dream about Angel?' The librarian asked, concern in his tone. Buffy shrugged, her eyes flashing to Xander briefly, who looked apprehensive.

'I don't know. I don't know if it was Angel or Spike. All I know is, I was being killed and I saw this guy.' She looked up at her Watcher. 'Who is he?'

'They're known as the Bringers, or the Harbingers... High priests of the First. They can conjure spirit manifestations of the power, set them on people. Influence them, haunt them...' His eyes widened, as did Buffy's.

'They're what's working the mojo on Angel and Spike.' The Slayer stated.

'We gotta stop 'em.' Xander put in, peering over to look at the picture of the no-eyed priest.

'You can't fight the First, Buffy, it's not a physical entity.'

'But I can fight these priest guys?'

Xander nodded. 'If we can find them.' The slayer thought for a second, looking at her friend.

'Xander, what are you doing tomorrow?'

The boy shrugged. 'Nothing during the day. What do you got in mind?'

The Slayer looked at him, her expression pure business. 'Well, it's Christmas. Time to look up some old friends.'

* * *

><p>Getting information from Willy's had left them still at square one, and Buffy had finally instructed Xander to go home. She was heading home herself when she remembered that her mom had made her promise to invite Faith over for Christmas Eve. The younger slayer was on her own, and whilst Buffy didn't feel like sharing the love, she knew she had to at least extend the olive branch. So she headed for Faith's motel, her thoughts anywhere but with her, more wondering where the two vampires in her life had got to.<p>

Knocking gingerly on the motel room door, Faith answered quickly, brandishing a stake. When she saw it was Buffy, she dropped it, but didn't look pleased to see her.

'Hey.' She greeted the older girl and Buffy smiled.

'Hey.' The blonde pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, ducking her head a little. 'So, me and my mom, we were wondering if you wanted to come over for Christmas. There's always a surplus of food, and y'know, it's a time to be together and all.'

Faith eyed her carefully. 'Well...there was this party I got invited to...big deal kinda thing...' She was clearly full of crap, putting on a brave front. She shrugged. 'I guess I can blow it off.' She turned, grabbing her coat and heading out into the night with Buffy. After a few moments of silence on the way to Revello Drive, Buffy sighed.

'It's hot, huh?' She asked and Faith nodded.

'Yeah. I've been in some humid places but this is ridiculous.'

Silence fell again, until they reached the Summers' residence and they went inside to find Joyce waiting with hot chocolate. The older woman greeted them both warmly, and they sat down to watch some films. The evening progressed slowly, and Buffy remembered that she had gotten Faith a little gift. She hadn't felt it fair to leave the girl out after all. She headed upstairs, telling her mom to leave her presents alone.

As she opened her bedroom door, the hair on her neck stood on end. Angel stood by the window, looking every inch like Angelus, except he was almost sweating and she calmly stepped into the room, leaving the door open.

'Angel.'

'Buffy...' He gasped out.

'What is it?' She asked cautiously.

'I had to see you...' He stared at her, but his focus was not on her eyes. 'I don't know...You shouldn't be...' He didn't finish, his eyes roaming over her and Buffy suddenly felt like she was dinner.

'Angel, stay calm. Just tell me what's going on.'

His eyes flickered to the side, and he appeared as though he was listening to something, but his eyes twitched and he winced. He looked back to Buffy. 'You have to stay away from me.'

'You came to see me to tell me I can't see you?' She asked, confused. He reached out to her and she took a step back, her eyes wide. 'Angel, something is doing this to you. You just have to control it...I know you're confused.'

'I think you're the one who's confused. I think you need to...' He closed his eyes, standing still. Buffy looked around the room, wondering who was speaking to him.

'Angel. Please. How can I help you?'

He snarled, grabbing his head. 'Leave me alone!' He shouted, but Buffy wasn't sure if it was directed at her. Then he threw himself out of the window. Buffy rushed over to see where he was but he was gone, out of sight. She whirled around to see Faith come up the stairs, stake drawn.

'Was that Angel?' The brunette asked, and Buffy nodded.

'I'm going after him.' She stated, heading down the stairs. 'Will you stay here, in case he comes back?' The other slayer nodded.

'I'll play watchdog. I really don't get it though.'

'I will explain.' Buffy said, the promise directed at her mom and Faith. 'I will, later.' And she headed out the door.

* * *

><p>'You have to do it. What else are you good for?' Cath sneered as Spike cowered from her words. He had his hands over his ears and tear tracks were plain to see on his cheeks. He scrambled backwards, eager to escape her.<p>

'Get away from me!'

'Don't you want it, Spike? That sweet ambrosia? Nothing better than Slayer's blood.' The words kept coming, kept taunting him and he buried his head in his arms, trying harder to get away.

'I'll never hurt her.'

'You were _born_ to hurt her.' Cath snarled at him. 'Have you learned nothing? As long as you exist, you will hurt her.'

He looked up. 'No.'

The ghost of his dead love looked at him with disdain. 'No? You've already killed four, five including Kendra. How could you not hurt her? Sooner or later, you will drink from her.'

'No.' Spike repeated, shutting his eyes. For hours he'd listened to her, allowed her to burrow into her mind. He'd been weakened, and the dreams had not helped. Dreams of holding Buffy in his arms, then killing her. Snapping her neck, or draining her. It didn't matter. Every way he was responsible for her death. How could he avoid it? It seemed so set in stone.

Cath laughed, and the sound was cruel. 'What are you going to do? You don't have the strength to kill yourself. And the sunrise won't work.' She gestured to his leg. 'Thanks to the gift that made you want to be a _man_.' She mocked. Her words hit something within Spike and he opened his eyes.

'You're not her.' Spike realised suddenly. How could he have been so blind? So stupid? Of course this wasn't Cath. Catherine could _never_ be so cruel. She'd hurt with her fists but she'd never say these things. Why would she encourage him to be a better man, then tell him to kill an innocent? He pulled himself upright. The visage of the dead slayer scowled, and suddenly she was gone, becoming Darla again. He shook his head. 'No. Not real. Just ghosts.'

'I am not just a _ghost, _William.' The image of Darla said. 'Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought.'

He stared at her. 'What are you?'

The face of his Sire smiled. 'You should be thanking me, really. I didn't realise by dragging him back, I'd be bringing you along with him. But of course, I thought I could make it work to my advantage. It doesn't matter though, sunrise will be here soon and not all vampires have your ability to enjoy the light.'

Spike frowned, confused by her words. 'I don't...' The words sunk in. _Not all vampires._ 'Angel.' She smiled evilly. 'You've been twisting him too. Making him see...'

'Oh he's so much easier to play. I should have realised. You always were a little more...perceptive. But then, he was all broody and tortured. You like the game too much.' She shrugged. 'Like I said, it's too late now. And he was always the prize for me. He dies, I win. Or he could kill the Slayer still, but either way...' She shrugged again. She smiled at him again and then disappeared. Spike looked around, the fogginess of the past few days clearing from his mind. He grabbed his coat, stepping outside and scenting the air.

He had to find Angel before he did something stupid.

* * *

><p>He'd picked up the younger vampire's scent from the mansion, and he followed it across town. Sunrise was coming; he'd been able to smell it for a long while now, and he hoped that he would find the other vampire quickly. The temperature in town had dropped significantly in the past few hours, and the streets were dead as he raced through them. Angel's scent led him through the outskirts and up to the lookout, where you could see the whole town.<p>

And there the great lug was, standing on the hill, looking out over the houses and various other buildings, a sad look on his face.

'This is a really stupid idea, you know.'

Angel didn't turn, didn't acknowledge him. He just stared. 'I bet half the kids down there are already awake...Lying in their beds, sneaking downstairs...waiting for day.' He looked up at the slowly lightening sky. Spike rolled his eyes.

'You know it wasn't real right? Whatever was haunting us.'

'It wasn't haunting us. It was showing us the truth.' The brunette said, his tone even and calm. Spike snorted.

'That's bollocks and you know it. This is just another easy path for you. First you separate Angelus from Angel, to relieve some of the guilt. Now you're jumping off a bridge to stop yourself doing something you wouldn't do anyway.'

'If I stay, I'll kill her.'

Spike stepped in front of him. 'You really think I'd let you?' He was practically snarling, and Angel flinched, taking a step backwards. 'You seriously think I'd stand by whilst another Slayer I loved got killed?'

Angel's eyes snapped to his. He'd admitted it now, and there was no taking the words back. The darker vampire eyed him carefully for a few moment. 'You...' He didn't finish. 'Of course you do.' He sighed. 'I wanted to lose it, Spike. I wanted to take her in my arms, become the monster again.'

'Fight it.'

'It's too hard.'

'You're damn right it is.' Spike almost lost it, but he held on the edge of his cool, even though every part of him longed to give Angel a good smack. 'Every day is harder than the next. And you know what? That's what makes it worth it. Everybody struggles. That's life.' Angel looked at the older vampire as he continued. 'Maybe this power did bring us back. But that just means it needed us for something. Which puts us in the driving seat, Angel. _We're_ in control.' The younger looked away, his eyes on the horizon, waiting for the sun. Spike growled. 'You think you're alone.' He said, trying to keep the tone of his voice level. 'You're not. You're not the only souled vampire. You don't have to shoulder this alone.'

Angel looked at him then, and they both bristled, sensing the coming sunrise. 'Why are you here, Spike? Why do you care?'

'Because _she_ loves you. And I'm not watching her suffer because you're a prat.' He paused. 'And like it or not, you have the power to make a difference in this world. To make _amends__. _But if you want to take the cowards way out, then you're obviously not as strong as I gave you credit it for.' He snarled. 'Burn for all I care. Or live. For _her_ sake. She had to watch you die once, Angel. You want to hurt her that badly again?'

They both knew she was there, watching, her tears a scent on the wind. Angel didn't want to turn, didn't want to see her face, her tears cause by him. Spike didn't look either, but he knew time was short.

And then it started. One or two flakes, followed by more, floating to the ground.

It was snowing.

Spike took a step backwards, looking to the Slayer finally. She looked at them both with tears running down her cheeks. Angel turned to her and began to walk slowly in her direction. Spike watched for a second as they embraced and then moved past them, heading back into town through the deepening snow. White crunched under his feet and his mind took him back to the last time he'd seen Catherine alive, in the snow. He smiled at the memories of the snowball fight, not allowing himself to think beyond that.

A hand on his shoulder brought him out of his reverie. He turned, seeing hazel eyes looking at him with gratitude. She reached up, brushing snow from his hair. He looked around, confused.

'Why aren't you with Angel?'

'He went home.' Buffy replied. 'He knows now...that he was played. I think you cleared a few things up for him.'

'I thought you'd be walking arm in arm in the snow. Being romantic and all that crap.' Spike mused, his eyes not leaving hers.

'I could have done.' She spoke quietly. 'But romance and Angel...not the sort of thing to mix these days. Besides...' She smiled softly. 'I want to be here.' She hooked her arm through his, and he looked at her, stunned. Buffy nodded. 'You can walk me home.' She said, and he nodded, stunned by the request. She rested her head on his shoulder as they walked.

'Thank you, Spike.'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued<strong>

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><p>I thought I'd leave you with a little Spuffied chapter ending there ^.^ totally didn't think I'd get this finished tonight, but hey, I just kept typing!<p> 


	25. Hints At Nothing

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note: **Updates may become less frequent than they have been as I am currently in the process of packing up and moving house. Hopefully we can get an internet connection established quickly at our new house and get things moving again! Hope you enjoy this latest instalment and thank you all for your continued support and reviews ^.^

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><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

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><p><strong>Hints At Nothing<strong>

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><p>'So.' Spike took a long drag from the cigarette and then stubbed it out, throwing the dog end into the fire opposite him. Angel watched every movement with a blank face, although his eyes were rimmed red from tiredness. 'I don't suppose you know why I'm hiding out here instead of in my nice little apartment? Or why those divvy mums from all over town are knocking on my door with big signs with "MOO" written on them?'<p>

Angel gave him a wry smile and sat forward. 'Some kids were found dead. Buffy's mom has started some type of...group against it.'

'Oh.' Spike frowned. 'That's odd.' He tilted his head to the side. 'And also, strangely familiar.'

'Maybe it's the mobs.' The younger vampire shrugged. 'You always did like them. Maybe a bit nostalgic?'

The blond snorted. 'Hardly.' He reached down, finding the bottle of Jack at his feet and taking a long swig. He offered some to Angel, who refused with a flat palm. Spike shrugged and took another swig. Angel rolled his eyes.

'You drink too much.'

Spike shrugged again, his blue eyes focused on the flames in the fireplace. 'It helps sometimes.'

'Helps to do what?' The other vampire pressed, but Spike didn't look at him, the fire entrancing him.

'If you drink enough...sometimes for a few seconds...you forget you feel anything.' He muttered, taking another swig, his eyes never leaving the fire. Angel watched him, his own heart heavy. Sometimes it sucked that the only person you could relate to, was someone who hated you. Well, professed to hate him. He figured if Spike didn't like him that much, he'd have been dust in the wind centuries ago.

Spike shuddered then, coming out of his stupor with a lopsided grin. 'So, MOO. What's it stand for? You read the papers right?'

The brunette nodded. 'Mothers Opposed to the Occult.'

A choked laugh came from the blond and he almost spat JD across the room. 'Really? What a dumb acronym. I don't think I've ever heard anything so stupid.'

'I've heard a few.' Angel smiled slightly, his eyes twinkling with mirth. He sighed and leaned back in his seat, resting his broad shoulders against the back of the sofa. 'So.' He started, unsure how to broach the subject. 'You love Buffy, huh?'

Spike didn't reply for a few long seconds, his eyes not quite meeting the younger's. Then he nodded slowly. 'Yeah.' He sat back himself, his eyes on the JD bottle as he peeled a little of the label off. 'I wouldn't worry, Peaches. It's you she loves.'

'I wouldn't be so sure of that.' Angel shrugged. 'She's been...different...since I came back. Not that I blame her, being a raving psychopath isn't exactly a gigantic turn on...but she...she's_...__colder_ somehow. If you get what I mean.'

'Maybe.' Spike looked over. 'Or maybe you just had the shit tortured out of you for a century and it made you so screwed up you can't recognise love, even with a soul now.'

'Didn't do that to you.' Angel pointed out.

'We both know that hundred years went differently for both of us.' Spike mumbled. He put the bottle down on the floor, searching his coat pockets for another cigarette. 'And we both know, that I don't wanna talk about it.'

'Ignoring it doesn't make it like it didn't happen, Spike.' Angel pointed out.

'Sure as hell can.' The blond retorted, finding his cigarettes and lighting one.

The brunette vampire got to his feet. 'I'm not saying it will make it easier but you _have_ to talk sometime, Spike. To me, or to Giles, hell, talk to Buffy. I know she's dying to find out what made you come back with such a giant stick up your ass. I mean, you were always a misery, even when you didn't have a soul, but at least you were fun!'

Spike glared at him. 'And you're king of fun'n'frolics, yeah mate? Piss off.'

'You're in my house. I couldn't give a rat's ass if you're older right now. I need to talk about some of this. And unlike you, I'm not pals with the Watcher.'

'No. Probably got something to do with you almost killing his girlfriend and chopping his fingers off.' Angel opened his mouth and then shut it again, knowing the usual line wouldn't cut it with Spike. It was different for the blond; he had accepted all of himself from the start - Angel _felt_ in himself that he was two different people, the demon and the man. He'd never be able to coalesce the two as long as he existed. In some ways, he felt like accepting Angelus would be too easy, too much of an insult to those he'd harmed.

Spike held no such reservation. He accepted what he had done, and fought against it. And Angel didn't know how he did it.

'Look, just humour me. It doesn't have to go any further. I just need to know...you were there when we...when I pulled you through.' He didn't meet Spike's eyes, knowing it was his fault, and his fault alone that the other vampire went through what he did. 'Then you were gone. I don't remember seeing you until we were back here but...I could...I knew you were there. Like you were in my head.'

The older vampire stared at him, unblinking, and then he took another drag of his cigarette. 'Yeah. I was there. Never saw you either. But that connection was there, like you said.'

'You got hurt worse than me.' Angel pointed out. 'I don't understand...'

'Neither do I. Maybe it was because they went more for the physical with me. I have got a stunning physique, in case you hadn't noticed. Could be they were lady torture demons.' Spike was mocking him, and Angel knew it. There would be no straight answers. Not in this lifetime, anyway. He sighed, and took his seat once more. Spike offered him the whiskey bottle once more and with little hesitation, he took it, drinking deeply.

Maybe he'd loosen up after a few drinks.

* * *

><p>Spike had gotten bored of Angel fairly quickly. It was late, but he decided to swing past the Summers residence to see if Buffy was at home or whether she was patrolling. He briefly wondered why Angel never bothered patrolling with the Slayer, but dismissed it as he saw Joyce arriving home, later than usual, with a filthy and battered looking Slayer at her side. He approached the women slowly, a confused look on his face.<p>

''Lo ladies.' They both turned, greeting him with weary smiles. 'What happened?'

'Demon stuff.' Buffy shrugged. Joyce looked guilty as she shuffled her way to the house. 'Some kids turned out to be a manipulative demon. Almost got burned at the stake. I'm okay though.'

'That's...' Spike raised an eyebrow. 'MOO?'

Joyce looked even more guilty and opened the front door. Buffy nodded tiredly and motioned for him to come in. 'Mom feels pretty bad I think.' She brightened a little. 'Which probably means bigger birthday presents.'

'It's your birthday soon then?' He questioned and Buffy nodded, wiping a smudge of dirt from her face as she shut the front door behind them.

'Yup. The big one eight.' She smiled. 'Eighteen.' She clarified and Spike frowned. Something rang a bell in his mind. _The Council removed my powers and set me against a vampire as a test on my eighteenth birthday. All Slayers do it. If they live that long._ His eyes widened. _The Cruciamentum._ Buffy eyed him as he stood stock still. 'It's not a big deal. My dad's taking me to the ice-capades.' Spike didn't reply and Buffy frowned. 'So, I guess you came over to patrol huh? Mind if I give it a miss? I've had enough demon action for one night.' She yawned and it seemed to knock Spike from his reverie. He shook his head.

'No. Was just checking in.' He looked towards the door, avoiding making eye contact with her. 'I'll head off.' He opened the door and strode out into the night, without saying goodbye. Buffy watched him leave, before shrugging and shutting the door behind him.

He really was an odd vampire

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><p>The pounding on his front door was not something Giles had been anticipating, nor was he pleased. He had a headache as it was from the nights adventures with MOO. And after seeing that his books had been returned to the library, all he wanted to do was curl up with a stiff drink and sleep the next week away. But that wasn't an option. Someone was demanding his attention.<p>

'Alright, alright, I'm coming!' He muttered, placing his glasses on his face as he opened the door to find Spike on the other side. 'Spike! What can I do for you? It is rather late.'

The vampire glared. 'No time for niceties, Watcher.' He didn't attempt to enter, as he didn't have an invitation to the Watcher's home. 'She's eighteen soon, right? So it's time for that stupid test you prissy gits put them through, innit?' Giles looked taken aback. Spike pressed the subject. 'The Cruciamentum. You really gonna subject her to that?'

The Watcher spluttered. 'Well, I-I, that's to say, the Council...they don't really...' He sighed. 'Come in, Spike.' The vampire stormed into the apartment, turning to face Giles as he shut the door. 'The Cruciamentum is an ancient tradition. I have every faith that Buffy will pass without harm.'

'Doesn't matter. You're going to drug her. Take her powers away. Lock her in some room with a dangerous vampire.' Spike flexed his wrists and clenched his fists. 'You can't betray her like that Rupert.'

'I cannot tell her either. The Council would not stand for it.'

'Bollocks to the Council. The girl trusts you like a father. Betraying her like this would break her and you damn well know it.' The vampire's teeth were clenched, such was his fury at the idea of Giles pushing this test. The Watcher, for his part, seemed abashed at the mention of betrayal.

'My hands are tied. I-I...' He sighed. 'I cannot do anything. I have to administer the test. Or they will...'

'They'll what? Kill her? Kill you? I know you Watcher types, remember? Killed enough of you. Seen how you treat your slayers.' Spike's eyes narrowed as he regarded the other man with scorn. 'And here I was, thinking you were actually different.' Giles stared at the vampire, dumbfounded by the accusation. Spike wasn't finished. 'To think I had respect for you. But if you're willing to send her to her death-'

'Now wait a moment.' The watcher interrupted, Spike's words provoking anger in him. 'I am not sending her to her deaths she is a perfectly able Slayer. I have every faith and confidence that she will surpass this obstacle as she has all other before.'

'Having faith in her isn't in question here, Watcher.' Spike spat the title as if he was sickened by it. "Faith is irrelevant. She's the best I've ever seen. But you think she'll be happy with your faith when you've lied to her and stuck her with poison?'

'It is not poison. It is a harmless muscle suppressant.' Giles argued.

'Harmless? Hardly harmless if it costs her life!' The sentence ended in a shout and Giles flinched, feeling fear of the vampire for the first time. He composed himself, drawing up to his full height and his gaze clashed with his fellow Englishman's.

'If I disobey the Council's command, the situation would not be resolved. The consequences could be dire.' He folded his arms over his chest. 'I am open to any suggestions.' Spike clenched his jaw, obviously thinking, although his ire did not diminish. 'Believe me, Spike, I have no desire to perform my duty. But it is an ancient tradition, even if it is considered barbaric. Any Slayer who comes of age must face it.'

'And how many have survived?' Spike bit back. Giles' gaze dropped to the floor in a show of shame. 'How many?' The vampire ground out.

'T-there have been two slayers in the last century who have passed.' Giles stammered out. 'Nikki Wood and a Chinese slayer called Xi Rong.'

'Two? Out of hundreds? How many slayers have made it past eighteen?' Spike asked incredulously. The watcher looked up.

'Being the slayer is not a walk in the park, Spike, as you well know. Most slayers last merely months.'

'And this test what? Wheedles out the best?'

'In a manner of speaking-'

Spike cut him off, his fists clenched so hard now that his nails cut little half moons into his flesh. 'Or is it to figure out which are the most obedient? I know the Council works, Giles. The slayer is just a tool to them.'

'She's not to me.' Giles replied sternly.

'Then why do it?' Spike sounded almost plaintive as he asked the question.

'I have no choice!' Giles almost yelled. 'If I do not perform the test, they will send another to do so.'

The vampire thought for a second, before drawing his blue eyes to meet the Watcher's. Giles could almost see the cogs turning as the blond conjured a plan.

'Rules say you can't tell her anything. Nothing about a third party. So I tell her.' Giles waited, nodding gently in affirmation. 'You go about it as the Council expects. I'll tell Buffy everything, instruct her to play along. And when the time comes, I'll wait at the designated place to make sure nothing goes wrong.' He paused, thinking again. 'Have they told you the details yet?'

'As far as I know the test is to be carried out at the old Sunnydale Arms boarding house. I was to administer the first dose in two days.'

Spike nodded. 'So I tell her. You think we can pull it off?'

Giles considered the possibilities. 'It will be difficult. The Council are vigilant in these matters. But it can be done, with care.' He looked at the vampire seriously. 'When you talk to Buffy...my intention was never to betray her. I had no doubt in her ability to defeat this, even without her powers.'

Spike nodded. He turned to the door, preparing to leave before he paused glancing back at the watcher. 'I was wrong. You aren't like the others, Rupes.'

* * *

><p>'The vampire is aware of the Cruciamentum. He is a close ally of Buffy Summers. We should expect him to try and warn her.'<p>

Quentin Travers nodded as he listened to the report of the field watcher on the other end of the phone. He was in his London office, making the final preparations to fly out to California. The field team had been observing the situation in Sunnydale for weeks.

'He has been observed leaving Rupert Giles' residence after a brief discussion. We were unable to gather any more detail on the rendezvous as it is difficult to get close to the vampire without him sensing our presence.'

'Yes. I have read the reports. He is an unusual vampire. One with a dislike for a Watchers.' Travers thought for a second, leaning forward and contemplating the phone. The agent was on loudspeaker, waiting patiently for instruction. 'I shall be in Sunnydale within forty eight hours. Ensure the location is secure. A wet team is already en route, they should be there by this evening. They are instructed to contain the vampire. Do not let him interfere in the test. I shall deal with Mr Giles myself.

'Contain, sir?'

'For now. From what has been observed, neither vampire is a threat to Miss Summers. However, I will not have Council tradition interrupted.'

'Yes, sir.'

'Keep me informed.' Travers hung up, leaning back in his chair. After a few oments of contemplation, he reached forward, tapping a few buttons on the phone. It rang for a second before his secretary picked up.

'Yes, Mr Travers?'

'I would like the team ready to depart in two hours. We are stepping up schedule.'

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><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

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><p>This is a shorter chapter than my usual, but for reasons unbeknownst to me, my muse decided this was the best place to stop.<p> 


	26. Locked Down

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

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><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Locked Down<strong>

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><p>Spike'd had every intention of finding Buffy that evening. He'd left the apartment and headed straight for Revello, as soon as the sun had set. Halfway there, he'd been set upon by a group of humans, who'd shot him with something and knocked him clean out.<p>

Now he was in a cage, being guarded by three of his stroppy-looking countrymen. And he was _not_ happy. He'd spent about five minute rallying against the bars, before he'd simply crouched in the middle of the cage, glaring through golden eyes. They'd said he was merely to be contained - but this lot smelt of Watcher, and he was not inclined to believe them.

The vampire sat perfectly still, his eyes trained on the one of the trio who looked like the leader. He didn't know where they were, or how long he had been out. For all he knew, Buffy was in that boarding house right now, facing down whatever beastie they'd conjured up for her. Giles wouldn't have said anything. But maybe they'd told him that they had him caged up. Maybe he'd be able to talk them down.

It drove Spike crazy not to know what was going on.

Hours passed, and he didn't move, the blessing of no circulation meaning that he could wait a long time before needing to stretch his legs. He knew his statue act was beginning to freak the youngest of the trio out, with the obviously wet-behind-the-ears Watcher frantically glancing at him every few seconds, his hand shakily holding a stake. The eldest looking man glared at him.

'Smith, pull yourself together. He's not getting out of there.'

'Yes, Collins.' The man didn't relax and Spike smirked a little, still not moving. _Work on the weakest._ He kept his eyes on Smith, who continued to fidget. Collins made a noise of disgust and headed back to the other side of the cage. Lighting up a cigarette, he looked to the third member of the team.

'Wetherby...how long till we can get out of here.'

Wetherby glanced down at his radio. 'No signal yet.' Collins made an aggressive noise in the back of his throat and returned to pacing. Spike ignored him, remaining perfectly still in the middle of the cage.

Smith tried to keep his eyes off of Spike, but the vampire didn't take his gaze away and the man shifted uncomfortable. 'Can we stop him staring?'

'If you want to get in there and try to blindfold him, have at it.' Collins shot at him. 'He'll probably just snap your neck.'

Smith's eyes widened. 'I thought he was an ally of the Slayer.'

'I am. Doesn't mean I'm your ally though.' Spike growled. He shook the vamp face away, bored of the game. He dropped down to a sitting position, fingering through his pockets for his fags. Naturally, he'd left them at home, and he sighed, looking over at Collins, who continued to smoke his cigarette. 'Got a spare?' he asked, and Collins looked at him with scorn.

'Not for filth like you.' Collins spat. Spike growled.

'Oh, for goodness sake, just give him a cigarette.' Wetherby said. 'If he's anything like you, he'll be bloody unbearable without one.' Collins scowled, but didn't refuse the instruction, throwing a cigarette and a lighter into the cage. Spike smiled with mock thanks and grabbed at them, lighting the cigarette with relish and inhaling. He threw the lighter back. He hated those disposable things. No class.

The radio in Wetherby's hands crackled and came to life. Spike was instantly at attention, although he showed no outward sign of it.

/_Slayer entered field of play five minutes ago. Blair and Hobson were killed./_

Spike tensed, waiting for any other words to emerge from the little black box, but none came. The three men acted as if nothing had been said. The vampire almost growled.

'Does this mean you chaps will be letting me go soon?' He hazarded a question. Collins snorted.

'Unlikely. We're to detain you until Travers gives the order.'

'Order for what?' Spike asked.

'Whatever he decides.'

'Right.' Spike threw the finished cigarette out of the cage. 'So, basically, my fate is in his hands?'

'It would appear so.' Collins allowed a malicious grin, and Spike immediately decided to kill him first. He didn't ask any more questions, he merely backed himself up against the wall of the cage, eyeing all three of them, making plans in his mind. The bars were too thick for him to bend, not without spending a good amount of time trying to do so. The bars were wet, and he suspected coated in holy water - which had absolutely no effect on him with his special "gift". He had to get one of them to open the gate somehow.

Another half an hour passed and Spike was getting bored. He listened intently for anything on the radio, and almost wished the men would start a conversation, just so he wouldn't be so bored. He hated sitting still.

The radio crackled to life again. /_Slayer has emerged. Kralik is dead./_

Spike's eyes bulged. Kralik? They had her go up against that insane monster without her powers? They were trying to kill her, surely. Bully for them, they'd failed. She was the best, his slayer.

He shook his head, reprimanding himself. Buffy was not his - he could never hope to lay claim to something so precious. The men all stood to attention.

'Orders, sir?' Wetherby asked into the radio, and Spike awaited the answer.

_/Release the vampire. He is of no use to us./_

'Release, sir?' Wetherby seemed confused, and Collins frowned.

_/Confirmed. He is no threat./_

The radio crackled off and Wetherby raised his eyes to Collins. 'He may be no threat to them, but we open that door and he's going to rip us apart.'

Spike didn't back up his threat - he'd guessed their intentions. Collins sneered in his direction. 'Files say this one used to be a Watcher-killer after he liked snacking on Slayers. We could just tell them there was a scuffle. Accidents happen after all.' The vampire growled. Collins didn't seem intimidated. 'What? Going to tell me that the Slayer wouldn't be happy if you were killed? Gonna hide behind her after all the people you've murdered?'

'Gonna do no such thing, mate.' Spike stood, eyeing the other man through the bars. 'I don't hide behind skirts. But you wanna kill me, you make it a fair fight. Slaughtering a man in a cage is hardly befitting of someone with you skills, I'm guessing.'

'You're not a man.' Smith said, finding his balls. Spike laughed at him.

'No, I'm not.' He looked down at the young man. 'I'd wager you aren't quite yet either.'

'Leave him be.' Wetherby snapped. He sighed. 'We can't kill him. Travers wants him released, then we'll release him. Grab the tranquilliser gun, we'll knock him out and open the door.'

'I reckon I could take him.' Collins said, his eyes on the vampire, who smiled evilly.

'It's not happening Collins. Just get the tranq gun.' The Watcher grabbed the gun and took aim. The last thing Spike heard was a pop and the thud of his head hitting the floor.

A few hours later, he awoke to the smell of sunrise, and he sat up slowly, noting the open cage door and lack of Watchers. He pulled himself up and lurched out of the cage, feeling like he'd drunk several bottles of hard liquor and then gotten in a fight with Fyarl demon, following it up with getting hit by a two ton lorry. Not a pleasant feeling.

He really hated Watchers.

* * *

><p>Buffy sat on her front porch, her knees drawn up to her chest. The sun was setting and she was enjoying a brief period of peace and quiet. The last few days had been harrowing on both her and her mom. After the discovery that Giles had been drugging her, and his explanation that she was supposed to know, and then the discovery that Spike had been kidnapped to prevent her from knowing about the Cruciamentum, she had been thrown. And then she'd faced Kralik after he'd kidnapped her mom and she'd won, just.<p>

It had been horrible. Being weak, being normal. She wasn't accustomed to it. The short time she'd felt excitement at being able to give it up had quickly been replaced by fear. She didn't want to be weak. She was the Slayer. Maybe it wasn't entirely who she was, or even what she was, but it was an intrinsic part of her that she didn't want to give up.

The betrayal-but-not-betrayal from Giles had confused her. He'd genuinely thought she knew what he was doing, because Spike was supposed to have told her. But apparently the Council had taken the initiative because of Spike's prior knowledge and locked him away somewhere to stop him helping her. Angel had no idea what was going on - he thought she was with her no-show, no-good father. And Giles had tried to help in the end, but it had done little good.

And now he'd been sacked. She'd passed and he'd failed.

It was one big mess.

The tinglies on her neck alerted her to a vampire in the vicinity and she looked up, seeing a really pissed looking Spike walk into view. He saw her immediately and stalked over to join her on the porch. He stood awkwardly, until she reached over and patted the seat next to her on the porch swing.

'You okay?' He asked, taking the seat carefully.

She nodded. 'I'm fine. Well, I'm not fine. Still weak as a kitten. Mom is shaken.'

He frowned. 'Your mum? What happened?'

'Giles told me you were trying to help, that you knew. Then he found out you'd been kidnapped. I'm sorry you got dragged into it.'

'Nothing to apologise for.' He raised a hand. 'But I want to know what happened.'

Buffy nodded. 'Kralik got free. Killed the two Watchers who were, um, watching him. Got out of the house, chased me, kidnapped my mom, took her to the boarding house. I got there after Giles told me...and I had to fight him. Managed to trick him into drinking holy water. Kralik go "poof".' She made little jazz hands. He smiled. 'I feel pretty awful now. Still no powers. It's horrible.'

'I can't imagine.' Spike said, leaning back. The swing rocked a little and Buffy smiled at him. 'I wish I could have helped. I tried. Bastards jumped me when I was coming over to you.'

'I know. They told Giles what they'd done. He demanded to know where you were. They wouldn't tell him.' She took a moment, looking out at the starry sky. 'They fired him.'

'They what?' The vampire looked shocked. 'Fired him for what?'

'Being too much like a father to me.' She replied softly. 'Which is ironic since I haven't heard anything from my actual dad.'

'He didn't come to take you to the ice thingy then?' Buffy shook her head and Spike frowned. 'That's...well...' He paused, not knowing how to relate to that particular problem. His father had died when he was young and that was a _long_ time ago. So he went quiet, allowing her the peace.

And they sat like that for a while, Slayer and Vampire, watching the world sleep.

* * *

><p>Spike had heard rumblings. Mainly from his stomach. But that was down to the empty fridge in his apartment. That was one problem that needed rectifying. The rest of the rumblings were from the demon community. Clem had mentioned something about the hellmouth and the sisterhood of something or other wanting to open it. When he'd swung past the library, no one had been there, so he'd gone out looking. All of the graveyards were empty, no sign of the Slayer, so he'd headed back into town.<p>

It wasn't the first night he'd not been able to locate her. She was slippery sometimes. And searching through town heralded no sign of her or the others. He frowned, concerned, and then he'd turned on his heel, going back the way he came to the school. Entering through the front doors, the place seemed quiet, until a trail of blood heralded several bodies that had clearly been dead for a while. He almost jumped when Xander emerged from the shadows.

'Harris!' Spike frowned at the school boy. 'You okay?' Xander nodded wearily.

'Yeah. Just...you know...doing the usual.' Spike sniffed the air.

'Playing with explosives and getting laid?'

'Just call me James Bond?' Xander asked, wincing a little. 'I had some...trouble.'

'Where are the others?' The blond asked and Xander pointed in the direction of the library.

'Fighting...something. I dunno. Wasn't involved.'

'What in the hell did I miss tonight?' Spike wondered out loud, turning and heading for the library. It was a mess as he walked in, not noticing that Xander had slipped way behind him. Buffy knelt on the floor beside an unconscious Angel, the concern on her face evident of her continued feelings for the vampire. Spike tried not to let it stab him in the gut, but it did and he swallowed hard before moving on. Giles leant against the counter, an equally exhausted Willow beside him, whilst Faith sat on the floor by the office. One quick whiff determined who Xander had gotten intimate with, but he kept his mouth shut, his gaze going back to Buffy. 'Apparently, I missed a party.'

'Oh Spike!' Buffy said, looking up at him. She kept her hand on Angel's shoulder, but her eyes were focused on him. 'I should have...sorry...this all got really bad, really fast.'

'Looks like.' Spike nodded down at the brunette vampire, who was beginning to come to. 'You want a hand getting him back to the mansion.'

Buffy smiled gratefully. 'Yeah. I don't think I'm up to a fireman's carry right now.' She joked, standing slowly. She was leaning heavily on one leg, so he guessed she hadn't escaped the fight completely unscathed. Before helping her, Spike looked over at Giles and the others.

'You all alright?'

'Ta for the concern, blondie. I'm off.' Faith raised a quick hand in farewell before disappeared off out of the library. Willow gasped suddenly.

'Oz!' She cried and Giles rolled his eyes. 'He's running around all wolfy!' The librarian nodded.

'I'll get the gun. Wait a second.' He moved into the office, emerging with the tranquilliser gun. The red head set off out of the door with Giles on her heels. Spike looked down at Angel, who looked back up at him and Buffy groggily.

'Shall we get this lunkhead home then?'

'Don't call me a lunkhead.' Angel muttered as Spike bent down to help him up. The blond grinned as he pulled one of Angel's arms over his shoulders to give him some support.

'Stop behaving like one then.'

* * *

><p>'So what? You're telling me never?' Faith asked, a malicious grin on her face as she quizzed the blonde slayer. Buffy threw her a dirty look, kicking out at the vampire she was facing.<p>

'Faith, really, now is not the time.' She grunted as the vampire got in a shot to her midsection but she quickly recovered, kicking him in the groin. Faith was against her own adversary, but she lazily dodged blows and kicks as she continued down her path of questioning.

'I'm curious. Never, ever?' The brunette slayer levelled a kick at her opponents solar plexus and the blow landed, leaving the vampire on his back on the floor. Faith grinned over at her sister slayer. Buffy didn't answer and Faith pushed the subject. 'Come on. Really? All this time and not even once?'

Buffy scowled at her and then hit her opponent with a quick jab combination, sending him stumbling back. 'How many times cat I say it? I have never,' she punched the vampire once, 'done it,' she kicked him hard, 'with Spike.' She thrust her stake out, impaling the vampire and reducing him to dust. Faith killed her vamp, brushing her hands off. 'We're just...friends.'

'So?' The blonde slayer raised shocked eyes at the word. Faith shrugged. 'What are friends for? I'm sorry, it's just all that sweating nightly, side-by-side action, not to mention the leather...and you never put in for a little after hours...' She grunted crudely and Buffy looked away. She couldn't deny the thought had crossed her mind and it obviously had Faith's as she knew they hung out on occasion.

'Thanks for the poetry.' Buffy muttered, looking around. Something was dancing on the edge of her awareness. 'It's complicated. And not something I really feel like going into. Spike is...he's different. And things are...difficult.' Not even mentioning Angel at this point. She didn't feel torn between the vampires, not as such Spike had never put any pressure on her like that. She still questioned her relationship with Angel every day, and she saw him frequently to train. There had been no more kisses or illicit touching, even though the temptation was there. He felt it too, she was sure. But being with Angel was hard; being around Spike seemed effortless. Was it supposed to be like that?

'You're no fun.' Faith pouted, and Buffy almost smiled. She turned as the tingling on the back of her neck increased.

They'd missed one.

* * *

><p>Making his way through the stacks, he'd heard voices coming from the library. He was on his way to see Giles, as he'd neglected his friend recently and had made a concerted effort not to do so any more. He'd not been avoiding Buffy either and had even stooped as low as to check in on Angel. Being the oldest of the order did merit him some type of responsibility towards the younger vampire he supposed, and he was still in one piece, so all good. Nothing to be concerned about.<p>

The first voice was Giles, and as he stepped beyond the deeper stacks, he noticed the other voice was also English, but a much...stiffer accent. And it smelt like Watcher.

Cos God knows he hadn't dealt with enough of _those_ recently.

Stepping into the light, he saw the new guy, reading from Giles' diary about Buffy. Spike smiled and greeted Giles, making the younger looking man jump.

''Lo Rupes.'

The older Watcher smiled and nodded in greeting, watching as the vampire moved silently down the steps to take a seat at the main library table. The new Watcher stared at him as if he were a strange beast and then spluttered his indignation to Giles.

'Mr Giles. Who is this? Is this location not secure?'

'It's a _school.__' _Giles pointed out. 'And this is Spike. What can I do for you this evening?' He turned his attention to the vampire as the newcomer promptly tripped over himself whilst standing still.

'Nothin', just popped-'

'Did you say _Spike?__' _The other Brit practically screamed the sentence, and Spike glared at him. 'As in, the Slayer of Slayers? The Watcher Killer?'

'Is that what they call me?' Spike asked in wonder, puffing his chest out as if proud of the name. It couldn't have been further from the truth, and Giles knew it, but he smiled regardless, knowing the vampire was just attempting to rile the younger Englishman up. It worked. He was turning bright red in front of them.

'You-he-why is he still alive? Your Slayer should have performed her duty and slain him when she saw him!'

Giles stopped smiling and almost scowled at the other man. 'Now see here. Spike is a friend, an ally and an extremely valuable member of this team!' Spike swelled with pride for real at hearing the man's defence of himself, but the young Watcher was not impressed.

'He is a monster. A vampire.' The man sniffed delicately. 'She will be instructed to kill him, as is the only thing befitting a violent animal such as he is.'

'Oi!' Spike stood, a little outraged at the description. 'I'll have you bloody well know I am not an animal. Who the hell are you, anyway mate?'

The dark haired man regarded him with disdain. 'Not that it is any of your business, but _I_ am Wesley Wyndham-Price. The new Watcher assigned to Buffy and Faith.'

Spike looked at him, recognising the name. 'Your replacement?' He clarified with Giles. The man nodded, moving away as Spike stared at the newcomer. 'Wyndham...Wyndham...I know that name.' He knew full well where he knew the name, and he could see a certain familial resemblance in the priggish man before him.

Wesley inhaled sharply. 'I would think you do. You slaughter half of my ancestral family at the end of the nineteenth century.'

'Yeah. I remember.' Spike's face grew dark. 'I hope you aren't like your ancestors mate. Didn't much care for Thomas Wyndham.'

'You slaughtered them in cold blood, after killing his Slayer.' Wesley spat, his face almost beetroot now. Spike growled, and Giles stepped in between them.

'There is much to that story you do not know, Wesley. The truth was not entirely given in the diaries.' Wesley blustered, looking at the older Englishman.

'The diaries are correct. Watchers do not lie!' He claimed and Spike snorted.

'You know what, I have no patience for this berk tonight. I'll catch you later on, Rupes. When company's better and all.' He turned, leaving by the main library entrance this time, and Giles watched him leave, preparing himself for the indoctrinated views Wesley was sure to spout. And he was true to Watcher form. As soon as the vampire left, the younger Watcher started.

'She should eliminate him. He is a threat. How can you even think to call a creature such as that a friend?'

'Since he has done no harm since he arrived here over a year ago and has on many occasions fought beside us.' Giles explained, trying to remain calm. 'He is an ally. He fights for the side of good, on the blessing of the higher powers. We have no leave to destroy him. He has not done anything wrong.'

'He has killed Watchers and Slayers!'

'I am not going round in circles with you on this, Wesley. He is not to be harmed.'

'Who's not to be harmed?' Buffy asked as she walked into the library. Wesley whirled to her before Giles could reply.

'How could you be so lax in your duties, Miss Summers? To allow such a dangerous vampire to walk around? He should have been killed on sight.'

'Who? Angel or Spike?' Buffy questioned, looking to Giles for answers.

'Spike.' He provided, but Wesley had seized on her words.

'Angelus too?! My word, the Council said you were not properly trained but this is ridiculous. Do you allow any mass murderer to walk around scott free?' His voice grew higher with his outrage, and Buffy glared at him, her eyes hooded as she listened to him moan. Giles could see her eyes narrowing, and smiled to himself as he waited for her to let loose on the junior Watcher. Wesley shook his head. 'This is ridiculous. We shall have to take the matter in hand.'

'And do what, exactly? Kill my friends? Which they are. Spike and Angel both. They are warriors for good now. I don't give a rats ass what you order me to do, because I am not killing them.' She was almost snarling. 'Who the hell do you think you are? Waltzing in here and ordering me about? You're a Watcher. You Watch. I Slay. You do not tell me what to do.' Buffy stood tall, or as tall as she could given her diminutive frame, and stared Wesley out. 'I didn't _ask_ for a new Watcher. I sure as hell didn't _want_ a new Watcher.' She looked to Giles. 'I'm starting to see why Spike hates them.'

'Miss Summers...' Wesley started. Buffy cut him off.

'You know what? I'm tired.' She pulled something from her back pocket and threw it at Wesley, who caught it. 'I got your damn amulet. Now I'm going home to bed. Giles, I'll see you tomorrow.' She turned and left without another word. Wesley gaped like a fish at the swinging door whilst Giles chuckled.

'I do not see what is so funny.' Wesley admonished his elder but Giles only laughed further.

'I do hope I wasn't that much of a berk.'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>I hope you all enjoyed this ^.^<p> 


	27. Giving In

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Giving In<strong>

* * *

><p>Buffy hadn't slept very well and it had left her in a snappy mood. She'd gone for the all black ensemble today, and as soon as she hit school grounds, she made a bee line for the library, finding Giles and Wesley lock in research. The younger Watcher was staring at the amulet as if the answers would magically appear to him, but Buffy almost snorted. She didn't like this new Watcher, didn't like his attitude or his attempts to order her about. She'd been the Slayer for so long, and was used to doing things her way.<p>

The fact that he'd ordered her to kill a friend made her instantly hate him more.

Both men suddenly noticed she was there and Giles offered a friendly smile, which she returned. Wesley simply looked down his stupid English nose at her, as if he were some fancy monarch and she was a bug to be squashed. She _really_ hated him.

'Ah, Miss Summers.'

_Don't punch him, don't punch him, don't punch him._ Buffy smiled sweetly, and Giles turned, smothering a smirk. He knew his slayer too well where it came to attitudes. She obviously had a distaste for the younger Englishman.

'So, the amulet?' She asked, her eyes darting to the piece of jewellery Wesley held. He looked down at it, raising his hand to flick a piece of dirt off of the surface.

'Well, looks authentic enough. Of course, there are tests to be made before actual verification.'

'How about verifying that your "nearly extinct" cult was out in magnum force last night?' Buffy said, an almost accusing tone to her voice. 'Faith and I got into a serious party situation.'

Giles immediately turned, his eyes assessing her visually. 'Are you alright?'

'I had to lather, rinse, and repeat about five million times to get the sewer out of my hair, but otherwise, I'm of the good.' She smiled briefly, reassuring her former Watcher. Her eyes returned to Wesley, one perfectly shaped eyebrow arched, waiting for an explanation. The man merely shrugged and trained his gaze on her. Down his nose of course.

Perhaps there were a few more of them than we'd anticipated, but I'd expect you to be ready for anything. Remember the three key words for any slayer,' he tapped his book to emphasise his point. 'Preparation, preparation, preparation.'

_Don't punch him. _Buffy just looked at him. 'That's one word three times.' She pointed out. The bell rang just then, signifying the start of classes. Buffy rolled her eyes. 'Oh my god. I have a chem test. It's so sad that I'm happy about that.' She aimed a finger at Giles. 'Giles, we gotta talk.' Wesley cleared his throat, stepping towards her.

'Buffy, I must ask you to remember that _I_ am your Watcher. From now on, anything you have to say about slaying, you say to me. The only thing you need to discuss with Mr Giles, is overdue book fees.' He stared her out, whilst she watched him dispassionately. His attempt at humour fell flat. 'Understood?'

A beat passed as the younger Watcher waited for his orders to be accepted. But the blonde teenager wasn't going to play. She turned back to Giles. 'We'll talk.' And she headed out of the library, leaving two Englishmen behind; one amused and one flustered by her ignorance of his order. The librarian's chuckling made Wesley frown in his direction.

'You're not helping.'

'I know. I feel just sick about it.' Giles offered, turning to his office.

* * *

><p>God she was liquid fire dancing in the lights. Boys gathered round her and the other slayer, oblivious to the electricity and power they both exuded. He could admit that the younger slayer, Faith, was an attractive and enticing woman, but she didn't hold a candle to the blonde original, THE Slayer, the Chosen One. Buffy was the pure sunlight, the part he couldn't touch for fear of burning himself, so intense was her light.<p>

_Stop composing poetry, you wanker._ Spike shook himself from his reverie and ordered himself a beer as he fought to tear his eyes from the five foot nothing Slayer on the dance floor, as she entwined herself with Faith. He could try and deny it all he wanted - sometimes wearing tight jeans was _not_ a good idea. He discreetly adjusted himself as he waited for his beer from the barman.

Angel was here too, watching her. Spike knew the younger vamp was likely torturing himself further for seeing this temptress side of his precious Buffy, the wild abandon inside her coming out to play. The blond vamp knew that her and the other slayer had destroyed several nests in town, and the local demons were out for their blood. Buffy had found an outlet and a playmate for her recent frustrations...

...One that would inevitably lead her into trouble.

But he couldn't blame her for acting out. Even if she was asking for trouble by pouncing on Angel like that. Spike turned away in disgust as Angel peeled the over-excited Slayer off of his body and they talked. It was too loud for Spike to hear what they were saying, but likelihood was it was about Balthazaar, who'd set up shop looking for his stupid amulet. Spike knew Buffy had already given it to the Watchers, so it was safe for the time being.

Trust Angel to try and ruin her fun with something though. She hadn't had a good night to blow off steam in a while.

A tingling on his skin warned him that a Slayer was behind him and he turned, seeing Faith before him, her hand on her hips, her head cocked to the side and sultry smile on her face. 'Hey Spike. Haven't seen you around in a while?'

He shrugged. 'Been busy, luv.'

'Yeah, I heard.' She said slyly, moving closer to him. 'Listen, Buffy's preoccupied with Angel. You wanna dance?' His eyes glanced to Angel and Buffy, who had moved and taken seats. The brooding git had a serious look on his face and Buffy looked like she was trying not to laugh at him. She hadn't noticed Spike was here yet, he didn't think. _One way to get her attention..._He smiled at Faith, holding a hand out to her. The brunette practically glowed as he accepted her invitation and she pulled him to the dancefloor, wasting no time in getting up and close to him.

The song that started playing was a slow bassy dance tune, which allowed Faith to move seductively against him, her over-heating flesh burning him as he ghosted his hands over her hips, appreciating the sight before him. He wasn't attracted to Faith really...but she was a woman and he was male after all. He would have been enjoying himself completely...if the brunette had been in fact been a different Slayer.

Something primal in his mind told him he was being watched and he turned, his eyes catching Buffy's as Faith writhed against him. Her face was unreadable, but Spike felt guilty straight away. He spotted the new Watcher with them and his hands came to rest on Faith's shoulders. She turned to him, ready to make the moves, but then she saw his face.

'Fun's over, pet.' He nodded his head in the direction of the others. 'Looks like business is afoot.' She pouted, a face that would have floored a weaker man, but he did not allow it to affect him, instead moving away from her towards the trio on the couches. Wesley didn't even try to cover up his distaste for blond vampire as he joined them, Faith approaching slowly behind. Buffy gave him one swift look and then turned to Angel, the amulet she'd swiped from Wesley's jacket in her hand.

'You'll put it somewhere safe that's actually safe?' She asked, batting her eyelashes in an all too blatant gesture. Angel blinked a few times before nodding and taking the amulet from her. His brown eyes flickered up to Spike's blue orbs, but the older vampire showed no reaction.

'I'll do it now.' The brunette vampire nodded, and Buffy stood from her seat, shaking her arms out.

'I'm gonna do a little recon on Balthazaar.' She turned to Spike, her gaze slightly scathing as she regarded him. 'You coming with?' Wesley raised a hand, almost spluttering.

'Okay people, Balthazaar is dead. Am I the only one who remembers that?' He waited for a response, but aside from a momentarily look of exasperation from Buffy, he got none. The blonde grabbed Angel's arm as he turned to leave, her eyes pleading with him. He gave her a slight smile, his eyes again moving to Spike's as he spoke.

'Be careful.' He said softly and Buffy smiled back.

'You know me.'

'I mean it.' The vampire urged as he headed for the door.

'What's going on?' Wesley asked, his forehead scrunched in confusion as Buffy turned to Faith, and motioned for the door. The sullen younger slayer nodded and moved off, the two blondes behind her. The Watcher was left standing in the alcove, indignation written across his face.

* * *

><p>After half an hour of demon recon, Spike had taken off briefly, saying he was going to check with the demon grapevine to see if anyone had anything on Balthazaar's location. Buffy and Faith were left to their own devices, and the darker slayer was clearly sulking. Buffy had ignored it thus far, even if the churning in her stomach had indicated the re-emergence of her jealous concerning Spike. It was getting pretty stupid now, even she could see that. But admitting that she felt anything for either vampire would probably just lead to more dead people and almost-dead teachers.<p>

She did _not_ need that kind of guilt on her conscience again.

Ignoring her inner-monologue that was currently pointing out all the good things about Spike and his washboard abs, she turned to her sister slayer, who was looking fidgety as she surveyed the street around them. It was a residential area with a few shops dotted here and there. It wasn't a part of town normally crawling with vampires.

'Okay.' Buffy started, catching the other girl's attention. 'We got ten, maybe twelve bad guys and one big demon in desperate need of a stairmaster.'

'I saw we take 'em all, hard and fast, now.' Faith's words always conjured up imagery that made Buffy blush, and she was fairly certain that she was doing it on purpose.

'Okay.' She drew the word out, holding her hands up. 'But - we need a little more firepower than none. We should get to the library.' She looked in the direction of the school. Faith shrugged, still looking around as they walked.

'I guess Jacuzzi boy isn't going anywhere. I just wish we-' She cut off, her gaze frozen on something as a grin spread across her face. Buffy followed her line of sight to a sporting goods store. She caught onto the girl's thoughts straight away and smiled a little. Okay, breaking and entering was _not_ strictly a superhero thing, but hey...you only live once, right? 'Oh that's too good.' Faith started towards the store, taking long strides. Buffy followed, watching as the younger girl raised a leg and kicked the door in, leaving the frame half torn off the door. She went straight in and the other slayer followed, looking at the damage Faith had caused.

'Think they have insurance?'

'Strangely - not my priority.' Faith tossed back, as she headed for the hunting equipment. She picked up a few knives, testing their balance, and then spotted a bow, reaching out to pick it up. Buffy watched her for a second, and then moved to a display case full of shiny things, her fingers gently running over the lock. She jumped as Faith appeared at her shoulder, her dark eyes taking in the lock over the glass. 'B, when are you gonna get this? A slayer's life is simple. Want?' She smashed the case as Buffy watched. 'Take.' She picked up a wicked looking hunting knife and passed it to Buffy. 'Have.' Buffy eyed the knife as Faith moved away, her eyes focused on the blade.

Something in another case caught her eye and she moved over, looking at the pneumatic crossbow, her gaze travelling over the curves and handles of the weapons. She smashed the case with her elbow, picking up the crossbow and loading it. 'Want. Take. Have. Think I'm gettin' it.' She smiled as she raised the weapon.

'Well, well.' A voice drawled from the smashed doorway. 'Looks like you two are having all the fun.'

Both girls looked up to see Spike lounging in the doorway, a lit cigarette hanging from his lips as smoke curled around him. 'Spike...' Buffy said, feeling a bit like a little girl with her hand in the cookie jar. _At least it wasn't the cops, I suppose.__ Although, Spike might still tell my mom.__  
><em>

'Hey, blondie. You here to join the party?' Faith grinned, whilst walking over to him, the sway of her hips making Buffy tut in disgust. Faith heard the noise, but didn't react, her hand reaching out as she got within touching distance of the vampire, plucking the cigarette from his lips and taking a deep drag. 'Could make it a hell of a night.' He looked her up and down, a feral smile curling his lips, before he took the cigarette back and stubbed it out on the floor.

'This is...uh...' Buffy stuttered, feeling ashamed all of a sudden. _I was only having some fun. Blowing off steam. Just like you were with Faith._

Spike arched an eyebrow as he looked at her. 'Cops will be here soon. I'd suggest you girls disappear.'

Faith snorted. 'Cops. They couldn't handle us.'

'A bullet would handle you just fine, you stupid bint.' Spike snarled. 'Look, I get you're a rebel with a cause and all, but seriously? Breaking and entering? And Buffy - I thought you were smarter than this.'

'I - I...' Buffy started to defend herself, but Faith was there quicker.

'And what the hell is it to do with you? You're a vampire. We kill your kind.' The brunette pulled a stake from her trousers and brandished it, glaring at him. He burst out laughing, and Faith looked offended.

'You're welcome to try, sweetcheeks, but I can tell you now...' Spike had her against the wall in the next instance, the stake falling from her hand in shock. 'I am very much out of your league.' He meant it in more ways than one, and as he dropped his hold on her, she scowled at him.

'Fine. I'll leave you to it. God knows, I wouldn't want to touch B's toys.' She threw out, heading for the door. The debris crunched under her feet as she left, and Spike made sure she was gone before turning to Buffy.

'What in the hell were you thinking?'

'I-I wasn't!' Buffy said, looking down at the floor and placing the crossbow back on the counter. 'I guess...I got swept away. Everything's been so...and with Angel...' Spike winced. 'And the new Watcher, and everything else...and you.' She finished, raising her eyes to him. 'I'm sorry. I was an idiot.'

'Yeah, you were.' He looked towards the door. 'Let's get out of here before you end up in prison.' She nodded, following him out the door. The street was deserted as they left the scene, and headed for the cemetery. Silence washed over them as they walked, Buffy a few steps behind Spike as he marched on. 'I didn't find out anything, by the by. No one has any clue where Pinky's holed up.'

'Pinky?' Buffy scrunched up her nose, and Spike stopped, looking back at her.

'Well, he's pink, innit?' He shrugged. 'You're not the only one who gets to make quips, you know.' Buffy stared at him for a second, before bursting out laughing. Spike pretended to look offended by her laughter, but a small smile crept up on his lips nonetheless. 'So come on, Buffy. You know you can talk to me. Not much I haven't seen in this long life of mine.' Her laughter ebbed away as they started walking again, side by side this time.

'I've been feeling a little - odd...since my birthday. I guess with everything that's happened in the last year...some of it is hard to process, you know?'

'You're telling me.' Spike agreed, his eyes in front of him as the Slayer brushed against him every few steps. Her warmth was...intoxicating.

'Yeah.' Buffy chuckled dryly. 'I'm in need of a holiday.' She looked around at the damp cemetery. 'Away from Sunnydale.'

He raised an eyebrow at her wistful words. 'Can't you? I mean, Faith's here. From what I understand, the apocalypse doesn't happen until May, maybe June, so you've got at least a couple of months for a quick getaway.'

'Ha!' Buffy spat out a laugh. 'Like that'd happen. I've got Watcher Junior on my back now.'

'And isn't he a delight.' Spike muttered, earning a sideways look from Buffy.

'I think I understand why you don't like them. Watchers, that is.' Buffy said, reached out and punching his arm playfully. 'By the way, your little "dance" with Faith earlier? Didn't work.'

'Oh right. So I didn't see you batting your eyelashes at Peaches then?' Spike stopped, regarding her with interest.

'I do not "bat my eyelashes".' She exclaimed, folding her arms as she glared back. 'And, I'd hardly even call what you two were doing dancing. She was practically humping you on the dancefloor!' She huffed.

'What would it bother you if she did?' Spike countered, a lazy smile on his face.

'Because you're mine.' Buffy replied quickly, without thinking, before her mouth dropped open and her eyes went wide. Spike simply stared, not sure if he heard her correctly. 'I-I mean...it's...' She closed her eyes. 'Oh crap.'

'I'm...yours?' Spike asked, carefully. 'Don't get me wrong, Slayer, but...'

'No - no...I meant as in, you're my friend! My _friend.'_ _Yeah, nice cover up._Her brain reprimanded her.

Spike narrowed his eyes. 'Friends. Yeah.' He sniffed lightly, looking anywhere but her. 'You should get home. Get some sleep before school and all.'

'Yeah. Yeah.' Buffy agreed, nodding too emphatically in the wake of her awkward announcement. 'Sleep would be good.' She began to move away, then hesitated. 'You'll let me know right? If you hear anything? About Balthazaar?'

The vampire looked at her, those blue eyes of his boring into her as she swallowed hard. He nodded, and she turned, wanting to get away from the awkward dive the night had taken. As she moved away from him, his voice floated back to her on the wind. 'Yours.'

And warmth blossomed in her chest.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>Ahhh, sorry for the slowness of me. I've had a hell of a week!<p> 


	28. Sealed With A

Story Notes: **Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Sealed With A...<strong>

* * *

><p>He'd been unable to get any rest after his encounter with Buffy the previous night. Her words, her simple outburst that he was hers - it confused the hell out of him. He didn't argue, and he knew she'd heard his confirmation as she'd left, and he would whole heartedly agree that he was hers if she asked him right now. He wasn't confused over his own feelings. He had come to terms with the fact that he would always love Cath, but his life was, and had been, a long one - it was stupid to think he could never have those feelings again. Which he did. For Buffy.<p>

Even if other people had spotted it before he did.

But her feelings? They were the ones that confused him. It may have been a Freudian slip, but those were the truth, more often than not, and it warmed him a little to think that she considered him hers.

At the same time, it terrified him.

Angel was her first. He would always hold a piece of her, just like Cath would always hold a piece of him. But Catherine was dead. Angel was not. Angel was alive and very clearly still in love with the Slayer. And she still loved him. Didn't she?

His head thundered as he tried to process the thoughts. He knew he couldn't ever find out Buffy's innermost thoughts where it came to him and his brooding younger counterpart - and it would likely drive him nuttier than Drusilla if he tried. But her words kept coming back to him; her utter acceptance of him. Even without the soul, she had trusted him. Not that he wished to revisit that part of his time with her. Watching her fall apart without being able to do anything was not something he ever wished to see again.

Some remnants of the Lord and Gentleman in him demanded she be cared for, even if she had the strength to kick his arse across the country.

It hadn't taken long after sunset to need to get out. Even in spite of the Gem, he still liked to keep to his nocturnal hours. Maybe it was a wasted gift, if he didn't use it during the daytime, but at the moment he had no reason to, and exposing his ability would only make others covet it and increase the danger he put everyone else in. It was hard to shake the mentality that it was _him_ that got people hurt.

After several hours in Willy's bar, downing enough Jack to give him a warm buzz, and not much more, he'd headed out, word reaching him across the bar that the two slayers were on patrol and that some demons had attached the Watchers. Balthazaar was the most likely culprit. He suspected Angel would be out as well, no doubt looking to help Buffy and Giles, even just to earn some good grace with the Watcher who still hated him.

It didn't take long to find Buffy, but she was pale when he did, almost shaking. If he didn't know better, he'd have said she was in shock. She didn't spot hi straight away, but when did, relief flooded her features.

'Buffy!' He said, moving to her side in an instance. The scent of human blood was an aura around her, but he knew Slayer blood well enough to know it was not hers or Faith's. He narrowed the scent down to her hand, and grabbed it. She tried to pull away but he held fast. 'Buffy, what happened?'

'There was - something -' she broke off, her eyes full of tears as she shook in his arms.

'Oh, Slayer.' He pulled her close and she shuddered against him.

'She - he - we...' She struggled to form the words as she gripped his coat with her clean hand. 'He's dead.'

Spike frowned, pulling away and looking down at her. 'Who?' His immediate thought was of the librarian and his dead heart seized a little. Giles was his friend - he didn't want to think of anything happening to him. _Cos it would be your fault again._

'This guy...I don't know who he was...but he came out of nowhere and we w-were fighting, and Faith grabbed him and I yelled, but she-she didn't stop and now he's dead...and oh god!' She sobbed a little, and Spike pulled her closer for a second, before drawing away and looking down at her. He could sense Angel now, getting closer to where they were.

'Sssh, lamb, don't worry. We'll get this taken care of.' He sighed. 'We've got another problem. Word is that this Balthazaar has the Watchers.'

Buffy's eyes went wide as she looked up at him, and then she saw Angel approaching them from the darkness. 'They have Giles?' Angel nodded, ignoring the closeness of the two blondes as he came to a stop a few metres away. His eyes darted to Buffy's bloodied hand and he looked at her with a questioning gaze. She saw him looking and drew her hand behind her back. 'I'm okay.' She whispered, and Spike looked over at the younger vampire.

'I've just been to the warehouse. I was waiting for you. They've got Giles and Wesley there.'

* * *

><p>They'd rescued the Watchers without much trouble, although the simpering nancy boy that was Wesley had almost caused some for them. Spike was beginning to dislike the man more each day - his cowardice grating on his nerves. Giles had been curious about Buffy as they left, questioning her quiet demeanour, but Spike had warded him off, explaining that her and Faith had a row that was playing on her mind. Angel had narrowed his eyes at the explanation and offered to walk her home, but she had refused. Spike had expected her to refuse him as well, so when she had asked for his company, he had been shocked yet pleased, although he knew it was likely because he knew the truth.<p>

'Are you okay?' He asked, reaching out to touch her arm gently as they walked through town. She nodded.

'I should go and speak to Faith.' She said quietly. 'See if she is okay.'

'No.' Spike said, disagreeing with her. 'You should get home and get some sleep.'

'That's your solution for everything.' Buffy sighed, a little edge of humour in her voice. He chuckled.

'Worked wonders throughout history. Much like tea.'

She pulled a face, looking at him and then towards her house, which loomed as they turned onto Revello Drive. 'I'm not a tea fan. But sometimes it's nice. When I feel sick or something.'

'You'd prefer an extra tall latte with whipped cream and a shot of hazelnut syrup right?'

'It's creepy you know my drinks order.' She raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged.

'I pick things up.' They stopped at her house, and Buffy looked towards the driveway. The lights were on, despite the late hour, and she knew her mom was still up, waiting for her and probably asleep on the couch. It had become a ritual lately - her fear for Buffy's safety a regular argument. Nothing serious, but something that would forever crop up between them.

'I guess this is goodnight.' She sighed, looking over at him.

'Yeah.' He pulled his shoulders in tight. 'Don't worry about this, Slayer. I'll take care of it, okay?'

'How do you mean?' She asked. 'You're not going to tell Giles, are you?'

'It would be best if Faith came forward on her own. Mistakes happen. But she's gotta be pretty torn up about it. Maybe I can reach her, talk to her.'

'I didn't think she wanted to _talk_ to you.' Buffy said, jealously colouring her tone. Spike arched an eyebrow, looking at her with amusement.

'Now, now, Slayer.' He smiled a little. 'You know I'm yours.' She looked taken aback by the statement, and he smiled, moving in closely. 'Don't rightly know what that means...but I'll take it.'

'N-neither do I.' Buffy whispered, her eyes on his hands as he reached out and grasped her right wrist, bringing the hand up to kiss her knuckles.

'I don't expect anything from you, Buffy.' He said quietly, even as she moved closer to him subconsciously. 'Don't force yourself to-' She cut him off by pulling him down and kissing him hard. His eyes went wide in shock and for a second he didn't react, until he melted into the kiss, feeling the warmth of her body seep into his cold bones, her hands coming up to wind her fingers into the hair at the back of his head. He surrendered to her completely, letting her take full control.

It was several lifetimes before they parted. She was panting heavily as she brought lust-riddled eyes up to meet his darkened gaze.

'Sorry.' She whispered. 'It's just...I wanted to do that for a while.'

He chuckled and looked up to her house. 'You best go get that sleep, pet.' He kissed her lightly on the forehead. 'Before we both do something we regret.' She blushed and pulled away from him, turning and running to her house without a goodbye. But he didn't need one. He stalked over to the tree in her front yard and stood, listening as she said goodnight to her mother, as she got ready for bed. He listened until her breathing evened out and her heart rate slowed. The lights in 1630 Revello Drive went off, and Spike pulled himself away, satisfied she was safe for the night.

He turned onto the street, picking up the pace as the sky lightened a little. It was very late.

And he had another Slayer to see.

* * *

><p>Faith was lounging on her bed when he arrived at the run down motel. He'd knocked and waited for an answer, receiving one quickly. She looked shocked to see him as she stepped back and invited him in. Her words confirmed she had been expecting Buffy to show up.<p>

'I was expecting Buffy.'

He arched his scarred eyebrow and she shrugged, turning away from him, her arms wrapped around herself. She looked for all the world like a lost little girl.

'You alright?' He asked, not moving from by the door. She looked back at him, dropping her arms and Spike could almost see the walls go up around her, shutting him out. But for all the bravado, he knew one thing; she was just like him really. Trying to avoid getting hurt, putting on a badass attitude to ward off the world. She was probably terrified.

'Five by five. You know me.' He nodded, out of habit more than agreement. He looked around, seeing the sink full of bloodied water, a pile of clothes haphazardly thrown in the corner. The scent of human blood lingered in the air. His gaze returned to her as she glared at him.

'Buffy told me what happened.'

'Yeah?' She threw off a careless tone, folding her arms again, but this time the action was more hostile than frightened.

'I know you think you can handle this. And you're used to being on your own. You got your tough loner act down pretty good, pet.'

'Thanks.' The brunette slayer spat, her face a mocking scowl. Spike sighed, shaking his head slightly.

'Maybe you don't think it's an act. But I've seen this, Faith. I've _been _this.' He eyed her carefully. 'You're not the one who invented it, you know. You're in deep, and we need to figure out how to take care of this.'

'I was doing my job.'

'Being the Slayer is not the same as being a killer.'

She almost growled. Her eyes were full of venom as she glared at him. 'And you'd know that right? Slayer of Slayers? How many people have you killed? Come to tell me how to atone? How to make amends for what I've done?' She was mocking him now, but he kept his cool, not biting back, even when the demon inside him wanted to tear her a new one and show her exactly what a killer was.

'You can't shut everyone out, Faith. Sooner or later, you have to deal.'

'Wrong.' The girl replied flippantly.

'I can help you.' He offered but she shook her head.

'I don't need you.'

'Yeah? Who's wrong now? Sooner or later, they will find the body.' He pointed out, and Faith turned to him with a chilling smile, something he'd seen before and not something he'd ever wished to see on the face of a young girl.

'Okay. This is the last time we are having this conversation, and we're not even having it now, understand me? There is no body. I took it, weighted it and dumped it in a river. There is no body.' Spike froze at her words. She'd disposed of the man she'd killed. Just like..._you_. A treacherous voice in his head said. _Pity you aren't still evil. She'd have made a hell of a vampire._ He felt sick at the thought of it. All these years and sometimes the demon could still sicken him. But he paid no mind to it now. Faith was his only concern here. She was slipping - and fast.

'Getting rid of the evidence doesn't make the problem go away.' He said slowly. She smiled again, shrugging lightly.

'Does for me.'

'I don't think you're getting this. You _killed_ a man, Faith.'

She turned to him, her face a picture of unfeeling, unrepentent energy that chilled him to his already cold bones. She shook her head, smiling at him.'No, you don't get it.' She paused. 'I don't care.'

He didn't know what to say to that. She was beyond his reach now, and she mirrored the vampire he'd once been. Could it be that she had tasted blood and enjoyed it too much? Suddenly he couldn't stand to be in the same room as her, and he turned, his presence ignored by Faith as she flopped back onto the bed, putting her TV. Spike stumbled out of the apartment, almost tripping down the steps as he gasped for unneeded air. She felt nothing, nothing about killing someone.

What the hell was he going to tell Buffy?

* * *

><p>He'd watched. Faith had gone about her normal business, and Buffy had drawn further and further into herself. Naturally she was taking it as hard as if she had dealt the killing blow herself. He knew she hadn't confided in anyone about, although he had his suspicions it would come out tonight, as she was visiting with the little redhead. Buffy couldn't keep this to herself for too long; she was collapsing in on herself and someone would notice.<p>

The question was...what did he do now? He'd been trailing Faith round the city for a half hour, and when she'd decided to wander elsewhere, he'd headed for the library, knowing his following her wasn't doing any good. It was best to tell the Watcher.

When he'd entered the library, he'd breathed a sigh of relief that junior Watcher wasn't there. God knows what he would do. Probably call back in those berks that held him hostage during Buffy's birthday. And Spike was in no rush to see them again. He knew the only person he could trust with this was Giles. Not even Angel would be of any help - he'd try to reason with the girl and even Spike saw that as a difficult task.

And he wasn't normally one to quit.

'Rupes?' He announced his arrival with stealth and when he spoke Giles' name, the librarian just about jumped out of his skin, tipping a bit of his tea down himself.

'Spike!' He sucked in a breath of air as he scowled at the vampire. 'I do wish you wouldn't sneak up like that.' The vampire didn't smirk or give a snappy retort, and immediately the man knew something was wrong. 'What is it? Is Buffy okay?'

'We need to talk.' Giles sat down, and Spike knew he was preparing for the worst. He nodded, leaning against the wall. 'Seems the girls had an incident on patrol. Someone got hurt...'

'Tonight?' Giles asked and Spike shook his head. It dawned on the former Watcher then, that he was talking about the deputy mayor. He'd read about it in the papers and Wesley had instructed both Slayers to look into the problem. He'd not thought much of a human murder in the town - but this was something entirely worse than even a demon killing. 'The deputy mayor...what happened?'

'Faith. She didn't see him, went on instinct, killed him.'

'Oh lord.' Giles exhaled. He stood, removing his glasses and polishing them. 'Thi-this is not the first instance of an accidental killing, I'm afraid. Slayers are very strong and occasionally, accidents happen.'

'Yeah well, this accident is having some consequences.' Spike drawled. 'Faith doesn't care. Not one jot. She disposed of the body. Like it was trash.' Giles' eyes bogged and Spike nodded. 'The girl has some issues, Rupes. Buffy's torn up about the whole thing, like she's the one that did it - but Faith, she's acting like it was a day at the fayre.'

'We will need to speak to her.'

'Tried that. Didn't take.'

'If Wesley finds out, he will call the Council.'

'That probably won't take either. She's alone, afraid and backing it up with attitude. She needs someone who she can trust right now.' Spike stiffened. 'And she's on her way here.'

'You can sense that far?' Giles asked, looking towards the door. When he looked back, Spike was gone and he blinked, wondering how vampires managed to do that. The next second, Faith appeared in the doorway, her gaze serious. 'Hello, Faith. What can I do for you?' He tried to keep his tone neutral, despite his knowledge of what had passed.

'Yo. We need to talk.' She hovered in the doorway.

'What's the problem?' He asked, placing his glasses back on his face. She walked into the office a few steps before shrugging.

'Something happened...on patrol. There was an accident.'

'Are you okay?' He asked, wondering if she would tell the truth to him.

'Five by five.' She almost smiled and he cringed internally. 'But...Buffy? Not so good.' She bit her lip. 'She killed someone, Giles.'

The librarian could only stare.

Outside the library, Spike growled from his hiding place in the stacks.

* * *

><p>He'd slipped out when Buffy had arrived, and the brunette had left. Following her had been his priority, but upon seeing her return to her motel and not emerge for a while, he decided to return to the school. When he got there, he'd followed his sense to the cafeteria, to find Buffy, Willow, Xander and Giles sat at a table, discussing Faith.<p>

'Fancied a change of scenery?' He asked, looking around.

'Change is good.' Xander remarked, pushing a chair out for the vampire. Spike took it gratefully.

'We were just saying we should talk to Faith together.' Willow repeated, and the vampire raised an eyebrow. He looked at Buffy, who nodded, confirming that she'd told the others too. Obviously he had filled Giles in earlier, so Buffy's innocence hadn't been questioned, even when Faith had tried to pin the murder on her.

'You mean, like that intervention thing that you guys did on me? As I recall, Xander and I nearly came to blows.' Buffy pointed out. Xander cleared his throat.

'Uh, _you_ nearly came to blows, Buffy. I nearly came to loss of limbs.' The boy pointed out and Buffy tried not to smile.

'No.' Giles interrupted, his eyes focused on the table as he thought. 'Faith is too defensive for a confrontation like that. She'll respond better to a one-on-one approach.'

'Well, _I_ can be the one...one her one.' Xander said, earning confused looks from everyone except the vampire. Spike almost smirked as the boy's heart rate went up and he guessed exactly what one-on-one he had in mind. 'Let's rephrase. I think she might listen to me. We kind of have, um, a connection.'

'A connection?' Buffy frowned. 'Why would you think that?'

'I'm just saying it's worth a shot.' Xander sighed. 'That's all.' Buffy and Willow looked at each other as Giles shook his head.

'No. I don't. I don't see it, Xander. I mean, of, of all of us, you're the one person arguable that Faith has had the least contact with.' Giles looked at the dark haired boy with confusion.

'Yeah, but we hung out a little...recently, and she seemed to be, um...responsive.' Willow's eyes went wide and Spike knew she'd guessed. Buffy scrunched up her nose.

'When did you guys hang out?' She asked, confused.

'Oh she was fighting one of those, uh, apocalypse demon things and I helped her. Gave her a ride home.' Xander's face was getting redder by the second but Buffy didn't seem to notice.

'And you guys talked?'

'Not extensively, no.' Xander admitted and Spike chucked as Buffy's eyes went wide and she caught on. A few seconds later, Giles also got the message. They both looked at the redhead, who'd shrunk into her seat.

'I don't need to say "oh". I got it before. They slept together.' Her tone was defeated and Buffy gazed at her with sympathy. Willow stared off elsewhere, looking at anything but Xander. Silence fell over the group until Spike grew tired of it. _Personal drama._ _Too much of it round here._

'Let's move on, shall we people.' He looked over at Xander. 'Look, no offence or anything, but I've spoken to the girl at length. Before all this. She's not the type to take the guys she's shagged seriously. She's pretty much unhinged.'

'They're a big joke to her. No offence.' Buffy said, genuinely not meaning to offend Xander, but managing it all the same.

'Oh, no! I mean, why would I be offended by _that?_'

'I still require help with research.' Giles asked. 'If you wish to be of assistance. We have the business of the Mayor and Mr. Trick still to attend to.'

'Yeah, they seemed awfully cozy the other night.'

'Other night?' Spike asked, wondering what she'd been up to. Buffy looked over at him.

'Yeah, Faith and I scoped out city hall. The guy...that...anyway, he was deputy mayor and into some dark stuff. Mayor's up to something. Being buddies with a vampire isn't usually a sign of kosher activity.' He raised and eyebrow and she sank into her seat, embarrassed. 'Unless it's, you know, _you_.'

'Willow, do you think you could access the Mayor's files?' Giles' voice dragged her back into the room and Willow nodded gently.

'Oh. Uh, sure. I can try.'

Giles stood, smiling. 'Good. Yes. Because clearly we, uh, we need to take a harder look at him. He's, he's, um, he's obviously up to something.'

'What about Faith?' Buffy asked, her eyes darting to Spike before returning to her Watcher. The librarian shrugged.

'I don't know. I need time.'

'She needs help now.' Buffy said, her voice a little plaintive. 'I owe her that.'

* * *

><p>'Spike.' Her voice stopped him on his way out of the cafeteria. Willow, Xander and Giles had left and he'd intended to follow suit, but her voice made him grind to a halt. He was so whipped, it was almost sad.<p>

'Buffy?' He asked, turning around to face her. She stepped closer, hugging herself a little, stopping when she was a step away from him. His body vibrated with just being so close.

'What happened...before...it was mistake.' She said quietly and his heart dropped like a rock to the bottom of a lake. 'I was upset.' He didn't respond, waiting for her to finish speaking. 'I think-' she closed her eyes before looking up at him, her gaze locked with his. 'I kinda know how you feel about me. And that...it scares me. It's intense.'

'I already said I don't expect anything from you, Buffy.' His voice was soft and gentle as he spoke. 'You've already given me more than I deserve.'

Buffy smiled softly, her eyes twinkling in the dim light of the cafeteria. 'I know you said that. But I-I expect something from me.' She scrunched up her nose in that adorable way of hers. 'If that makes sense.' He chuckled a little, but let her continue. 'What I mean is - I'm confused. This whole year, ever since...' she trailed off.

'Acathla.' Spike murmured and Buffy nodded.

'I'm still...it's a mess.'

'I know you love Angel, pet.'

'No.' The conviction of her one word shocked him momentarily. She shook her head, not noticing his shocked reaction. 'No...I don't love Angel. Not like I did. I still care deeply for him and I always will...but since he came back...something changed. We both changed.' She sighed. 'But I don't love you either Spike. And it's not fair to lead you on.' He swallowed hard. It hurt to hear it, even if he hadn't been expecting anything to come of his feelings for her. She watched him, drawing closer and taking his hand. 'I know that sounded horrible. But I do care about you. I know that much. And maybe, with time, once my head isn't so jumbled...' she left her words hanging in the air around them and he didn't say anything for a moment. He just stared at her, memorising her face as if it were the last time. A small smile tugged the corners of his mouth as Buffy spoke again. 'Getting into something now would only cause more drama. You understand right?'

He nodded, before reaching up and putting his hands either side of her face, running his thumb over her cheekbone as she looked up at him, her eyes gazing into his blue ones.

Then he leaned in, kissing her hard and quick for a moment, then pulling away smirking. 'Sorry, luv. Had to do it one more time, just in case.'

She stared at him, her fingers coming up to touch her lips for a second before her hands dropped and she glared at him. Spike burst out laughing as she folded her arms in indignation.

'You're a pig, Spike.'

'Oink, oink, Slayer.'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>Shock and horror. Did I just retract the Spuffy? Maybe I did...maybe I didn't...<p> 


	29. Mirrors Of Confusion

Story Notes: **Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Mirrors Of Confusion<strong>

* * *

><p>It hadn't taken long for Xander to go against the better sense of his comrades and try to talk to Faith. He'd ended up with a pretty sore neck and some serious bruising to his ego, after Angel had saved him. The vampire was now holding Faith captive, and it hadn't taken long for Spike and Buffy to head to the mansion, finding the brunette vamp as he emerged from the interior of the building. He looked at Buffy with those big puppy dog eyes he seemed to only use on her, and Spike just about managed not to snort in disgust. Buffy seemed oblivious to the look, and she looked past the vampire to the inside of his home, knowing Faith was contained inside.<p>

'How's she doing?'

The dark vampire made a face and shrugged lightly. 'It's like talking to a wall. Only you get more from a wall.'

Spike chuckled, then quietened as Buffy glared at him. She looked back to Angel. 'But you'll keep trying, right?'

'Sure.' Angel confirmed. 'We're just getting started.'

'Do you want Spike to stay?' Buffy asked, knowing that the question would not please the blond vampire. Angel shook his head.

'No. It's best if it's just the one of us. Too many and she'll feel cornered.'

'Would it be better if Spike talked to her?'

'Already tried that once. She doesn't care much for me now, pet.' Spike looked through the doorway, hearing Faith tugging at the manacles that held her. She wouldn't give up easily.

'So, what do we do?' Buffy asked, clearly at a loss. Angel raised a hand and put it on her shoulder, reassuringly. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

'Look, right now, there's nothing that you can do.'

'Well, this could take a while right?' Both vampires nodded in confirmation of her words. 'So, we'll just go to Faith's and get some of her stuff. That way, she'll see that we're on her side.' Spike doubted it would be that easy, but at least it would keep Buffy occupied. Regardless of the fact that everyone knew Faith was the killer, Buffy would shoulder the responsibility because she hadn't saved the man. She dragged herself down with the guilt of others – a feeling Spike knew all too well.

'That's a good idea.' Angel nodded, removing his hand from Buffy's shoulder. She nodded, leaning around Angel and seeing her sister slayer, just in view through the door.

'Okay. We'll be back.'

'Look, I...I don't want you to get your hopes up, Buffy. She may not want us to help her.' Spike could see the truth in his words. Sometimes it was just...easier...to let go and be the demons in your own head. He knew Angel understood the feeling too – but Buffy could never comprehend that. She could never comprehend how good the power felt. Not that dark feeling that crept up inside and wrapped itself around your insides until you strove for a dirtier and dirtier kill.

'She does.' The Slayer insisted. 'She just doesn't know how to say it.'

Angel grimaced. 'She killed a man. That changes everything for her.' He looked to Spike for back up.

'Peaches is right, Slayer. It's a long and bumpy road – she may not want to take it.'

Buffy shook her head, her face set in a stern expression, her voice tinged with hope. She may not have had much liking for Faith, but she knew it was a path that she could have easily fallen down, and she would have wanted someone to help her. 'Giles said, with counselling, they might not even need to lock her up.'

'That's not what Angel meant, luv. She's taken a life.' Spike said, his blue eyes clashing with Angel's brown ones. Buffy looked between them, feeling a little like she was left out of the loop.

'I know.' She said, knowing that she really didn't.

'She's got a taste for it now.' The darker vampire said, his eyes returning to hers and Buffy felt her own eyes welling with tears. With a final glance at Faith and then Angel, she turned. Spike looked at Angel, who shut his eyes in frustration and nodded. The blond turned and followed the Slayer up the steps, catching up to her on the street.

'Buffy...luv...I know this is hard...'

She didn't look at him as she carried on walking, her feet taking her in the direction of Faith's motel room. 'Yeah. I get it. I'm not in the "killer club".' The comment stung, but he knew she was angry and confused. 'I just...'

'I know, pet. It's not something that's easy to understand, even if you've been there.'

'I killed Ted.' Buffy said, slowing her pace. 'I know, I know, he was a robot. But I didn't know that at the time. And I killed him. I felt...god, I felt disgusting inside. Like something had crawled in and set up shop and I needed to scrub and scrub and get it out.' She looked at Spike with tearful eyes. He reached out and grasped her arm, pulling her to a stop. 'How can she sit there and not care? How can...I just don't understand...we're supposed to be the good guys.'

'And you are.' He reassured her, pulling her close against his chest. 'You are. Buffy, you've done nothing wrong. The problem is Faith's and Faith's alone.' He sighed, tilting her chin up to look at him. 'You are not to blame. At all. You did everything you could for her, but pet, she was messed up a long time before she got here.'

Buffy shook her head. 'There had to be something...'

Spike shushed her, his blue eyes boring into her with more honesty than she'd ever seen. 'You carry too much on your back, luv. You have to understand...you're the Slayer. You fight what you can. But Buffy...' He ran his thumb over her cheek as she looked up at him, tears beginning to fall from her eyes. 'You can't save everyone, pet.'

She stared at him for what felt like long hours, her hazel eyes wet and shining. And then she opened her mouth, her fists balling at her side. 'Why not?'

For once in his life, Spike was unable to reply.

* * *

><p>Trust the Watcher's Council to screw things up. They really should stop reinforcing his view of them. Although, he was fairly sure that the Wyndham-Price boy wouldn't look at him the same after he'd let loose a string of curses when he'd returned to the library and admitted what he'd done. Spike had barely been able to keep his calm. Surprisingly, it had been Angel who'd held him back. Buffy had gone out and retrieved the rogue slayer, returning her to her motel and then heading for Giles to report back.<p>

Spike hadn't been so inclined to believe the danger was over from the dark slayer. Something was amiss. And as he surveyed from a distance, and watched as the slim girl slipped from her motel room, he'd known his instincts were right. She marched through town, avoiding the usual haunts for Buffy's patrol, and headed straight for town hall. Spike wasn't too concerned about getting close; his previous encounters had shown her sense were nowhere near as sharp as Buffy's were where it came to vampires. But he couldn't follow her into the building without being detected. He had an inkling what she was doing, but without proof, he was unable to follow through on his suspicions. There wasn't much he could do. Telling Buffy without evidence was a no-no, not after the recent turn of events.

He only had Giles to turn to. And he hoped the dedicated Watcher was still in the library.

Lucky for him, Giles had been engrossed in diaries for the majority of the night after Buffy had left to patrol. He hadn't even noticed Spike come in until the vampire spoke.

'You know, one of these days, you're going to get munched on and not notice until you finish the paragraph.'

Giles glared at the smirking vampire. 'Yes, very funny. What can I do for you Spike?'

'No junior Watchers lurkin' are there?' Spike looked around, scanning the area for eavesdroppers.

'No. Wesley has...retired for the evening. He doesn't like to stay up too late.' Spike snorted and Giles chuckled. 'Yes, in my day, Watcher's were made of sterner stuff.'

'Yeah.' The vampire took a seat opposite the librarian. 'We may have a problem.'

'What is it?' Giles' attention was captured and Spike grimaced.

'Faith. Kept an eye on her after Buffy dragged her back. Followed her. She went to town hall. My suspicion is that someone might be wanting to bat for the other team. Can't prove nothing of course, couldn't follow her in without getting caught.'

Giles' mouth was set in a thin line. 'No, that's understandable.' He stood, picking up the diary he was reading. 'This could be problematic indeed. We will have to watch her. Are you up to the task?' He looked at the vampire. 'I don't think this is a job for the children, especially not Buffy. Her confidence has been shaken enough by this entire ordeal, without asking her to, in essence, spy.'

'I'm up to it. Stealth is one of my better talents.' Spike grinned, and Giles scowled at him.

'I know.'

* * *

><p>A few weeks had passed without incident. Spike patrolled alone nowadays, pulling away from Buffy in a effort to lessen the uncomfortable rift that had grown between them since they had kissed. He was under no illusion that it was the end of anything; he was far too stubborn to give up on the tiny shred of hope blossoming inside him. He'd always been a fool for love, and there was no sense in changing three centuries worth of conditioning.<p>

He knew she'd not seen much of Angel either, and the younger vampire had sought Spike out to gripe about it on several occasions. To the extent that Spike had installed a deadbolt on his front door to attempt to dissuade the other vamp from coming to his apartment. They had spent one night drowning their sorrows in whiskey and Angel had suddenly assumed that Spike would listen to all his early woes. Whilst the blond felt a small degree of responsibility for Angel, he didn't _actually_ want to listen to him prattle on.

The spying on Faith had led him to no conclusion thus far. His visits to Giles, and the information he'd garnered had led them to realise she _was_ playing for the Mayor's team, but she'd not shown any inclination of evil deeds aside from visiting town hall on a regular basis.

So when he'd started towards the Bronze, intent on drowning his misery in a few pints of bad American beer, he'd reeled at the sight of Willow stalking through the darkness, dressed head to foot in leather and missing one very distinct heartbeat. Spike blinked a few times, unwilling to register what he was seeing and a pang of pain ripped through his chest as he saw that the cute little redhead was, in fact, a member of the undead.

His thoughts became a jumbled mess in an instant and he swallowed air, knowing it would do no good, but trying desperately to dislodge the lump in his throat. Was it his fault? He'd not been around them in a few days. And now...now, Willow was dead. When had it happened? How could he not have known?

How could he be so stupid?

The vampire Willow moved off and he watched as a few fledges stalked after her, cornering her in an alleyway. He kept his distance, seeing her easily overpower and bring them down, making them turn allegiance to her. He frowned - she didn't seem like a fledgling. This Willow was all confidence and power, knew her vampire body like she'd been comfortable in it for years...

What in the hell was going on?

He watched as the trio of vampires moved off, Willow leading the group as she barked orders to them. Spike felt a wave of confusion as he debated following. They were heading for the Bronze. Which meant trouble. Which meant he had to find Buffy.

* * *

><p><em>Ten minutes earlier<em>

* * *

><p>Buffy pulled her coat off of her shoulders as she entered the Bronze, smiling at people she recognised. She was feeling in a pretty good mood, despite the constant thoughts running through her mind. Faith, Angel, Spike, her test results from the Council, and the ongoing horror story that was her life. The occasional night like this, when she wanted to let loose and dance a bit, enjoying the company of her friends and then maybe a little bit of violence on the way home.<p>

She spotted Xander, talking to some skank decked out in leather. It was good to see him moving on, even if he was moving on to the dreggs of society. She bounced over, calling him as she approached.

'Xander! There you are.' She smiled as he greeted her back, and her eye drifted to the girl he'd been talking to. 'Aren't you gonna introduce me to your-' The penny dropped, and so did her jaw. 'Holy god, you're Willow.'

Willow looked her at, anger burning through the girl's eyes, and Buffy was taken aback, not only by the venom in her gaze, but the way she was dressed. The body tight leather left nothing to the imagination, and she hadn't even realised that Willow _had_ that much in the chest department. It was certainly an in-your-face outfit. The make up only made it look even sluttier. Was she regressing to Halloween the previous year?

'You.' The redhead snarled, her eyes blazing at Buffy. The blonde decided to take the supportive approach, not registering the tingles on her neck.

'Okay, well, you know what? I like the look. It's extreme, but it looks good. It's a leather thing, it's very...I said extreme already right?' She looked to Xander for confirmation, who looked as bewildered as her.

Willow glared. 'I don't like you. You or your bleached mate.'

Buffy frowned, confused by her words. 'Will, I'm sorry about today. You know how my foot likes to be in my mouth sometimes, but you really don't have to - wait, bleached? Mate?' Her frowned deepened as Willow rolled her eyes.

'Leaving now.' Xander stepped forward.

'Willow, I gotta say I'm not loving the new you.' She ignored him, and continued to move away as Buffy reached forward and grabbed her arm. Willow turned, snarling in vamp face as Buffy dropped her arm in shock, and Xander paled.

'Get off me!' She stalked away, leaving Buffy and Xander in the club, confused and shocked by what they had seen.

* * *

><p><em>The Library, forty-five minutes later<em>

* * *

><p>'This isn't real.' Xander said, his eyes wide and glazed, focused on the floor as he sat next to Buffy. Giles sat on the topmost step, staring into space as he attempted to keep his stiff upper lip.<p>

'I can't feel anything. Arms or legs or anything...' Buffy's bottom lip trembled as she spoke, and she clasped her hands together tightly.

'She was... truly the finest of all of us.' Giles said, his composure lessening as he spoke.

'Way better than me...' Xander agreed quietly. Giles pulled of his glasses, cleaning them briefly as he responded to Xander's words.

'Much, much better.'

'We just saw her at lunch...how could...' The Slayer grasped at answer, confused and shaken by the situation.

'It's all my fault.' Xander concluded, his tone hinting at desperation.

'What makes you say that?' The librarian queried, looking at the young man.

'I don't know...' The boy shrugged. 'Statistical probability...'

Buffy shook her head, feeling anger at herself. She stood, began to pace, not hearing the library door open. 'No, it's me... it's me, I called her reliable, she must have gone out and gotten attacked which she wouldn't have done except I called her reliable and now my best friend is-'

'What's going on?' Willow asked from behind the Slayer, and all three occupants of the library turned to stare, open mouthed. The redhead looked confused. 'Jeez. Who died?' Horror crossed her face. 'Oh, god! Who died?' Xander jumped up then, grabbing a cross and thrusting it towards her. Willow looked at him, not having a clue what he was doing as he shook the cross in her face.

'Back! Get back! Demon!' He shook it again, then pulled it away, shaking it hard as if it would make it work, then tried again. Buffy moved past him, looking at Willow with big wet eyes.

'Willow? You're alive?'

'Aren't I usually?' Willow asked, concern flooding her features. Buffy grabbed her then, crushing her in a hug, leaving only seconds before Xander joined in. The redhead accepted the hug with confusion, hugging them back. 'I love you guys too, oxygen becoming an issue...' The two teens let go of her and Willow turned to Giles, seeking an explanation. 'What's going on with these guys-' She was cut off with a yelp as Giles enveloped her in a hug. After a few seconds, he let go, looking embarrassed as he mumbled an apology. Willow stared at all of them as Buffy reached out and touched her again, as if making sure she were real. 'It's nice you guys all missed me. Say, you didn't happen to take a bunch of drugs, did ya?'

'Will, we saw you. At the Bronze, you were a vampire.' Xander explained.

'I'm not a vampire.' Willow replied in a defensive tone.

'But you are!' Buffy exclaimed. 'I mean you were...'

'She's not.' Spike announced as he sauntered down from the stacks. All four humans turned to look at him as he stopped at the bottom of the stairs. 'I saw her too. But it wasn't our Willow. I don't know how it's happened, but there's two of you, Red.'

'Something...very strange is going on.' Giles said, pulling off his glasses. Xander looked at Buffy.

'Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?'

Spike looked over to Willow. 'This girl...she was you...smelt like you, looked liked you..definitely didn't act like you. What do you reckon, Rupes? Some kind of spell?'

'It's a possibility. But...I've never heard of anything like this.' Buffy looked at Spike.

'Have you?'

'Not in my time, pet.' She stared at him for a moment. He'd been absent for a while, probably avoiding her again. He was too good at that.

'Did you see anything else?' Willow asked, worry in her tone. The thought of a vampire her running around Sunnydale was freaking her out.

'Yeah. She hooked up with a couple of vampires, they were heading for the Bronze.'

'This is creepy.' The teen said. 'I don't like the thought that there's a vampire me out there.'

'And she was you...except that you're not a dominatrix.' Buffy said. Willow snorted.

'Oh right. Me and Oz play Mistress of Pain every night. Please.'

Xander raised a hand. 'Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?'

'Oh yeah.' Buffy agreed, and then the library door swung open, announcing the arrival of Angel as he rushed into the room, heading straight for them. Buffy stood, looking at him in concern. 'Angel? What is it?'

'Buffy...I...something's happened that...I...' He glanced at Willow. 'Hey Willow.' He looked back to Buffy, then frowned, then looked at Willow and back to Buffy. 'Wait a second...'

'We're right there with you, mate.' Spike said, smirking a little as he took a seat at the table.

'We've seen her too.' Buffy sighed. Angel frowned.

'She's at the Bronze. With a cadre of vampires looking to party.' Within a second of his announcement, the Slayer in Buffy kicked in and Spike relinquished his seat, ready to fight.

'Then we worry about who she is after we stop a feeding frenzy.'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>I know it's been a long while since I updated. I'm very sorry. Things have been...well, mental for lack of a better word. I'm hoping to be back on track with this now. I know this episode was canon heavy, but we're leading somewhere. I promise!<p> 


	30. Questions And Answers

Story Notes: **Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Questions And Answers<strong>

* * *

><p>Spike looked down at the leather clad version of Willow in the cage, raising an eyebrow at the outfit which left very little to the imagination. It was hard, seeing this version of Willow, this evil side to the sweet young teen he knew. He wondered how this had happened to her, how she'd come to be this nightmare version. Then he looked up at Willow, who looked almost as pale as her counterpart. Giles was also contemplating the unconscious vampire.<p>

'It's extraordinary.' The ex-watcher commented, his tone dumbfounded. Willow looked at him, appalled by his words.

'It's horrible! That's me as a vampire?' She watched as Angel secured the door of the cage. 'I'm so evil and...skanky.' She leaned closer to Buffy. 'And think I'm kinda gay.'

Buffy reached out and touched her friend's arm reassuringly. 'Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was.'

Angel and Spike looked at each other, as Buffy glared at them both quickly. They cottoned on quickly that she was attempting to make her friend feel better about the situation and wisely kept their mouths shut. Xander shrugged.

'So, uh, what do we do now?' He asked and Giles grimaced.

'We still have to get to the Bronze.'

'Well, even if they're supposed to wait for her, they may start feeding. Vampires are not notoriously reliable.' Xander peered at the two present vampires, raising an eyebrow in questioning. Spike flipped him the bird, scowling.

'So we charge in, much in the style of John Wayne?' The boy said, directing the conversation towards a plan of action.

'High casualty risk.' Giles mused and then sighed. 'I haven't any other plan, though.'

Buffy raised her hand gingerly, looking sideways at Willow. 'Uh, I have a really bad idea.'

* * *

><p>He couldn't deny that Willow (the living one) could pull off that outfit without worry. He'd heard about her stint as a sexy ghost the previous Halloween, and now he wished he'd been there to see it. Spike might have been in love with Buffy, but that didn't mean he couldn't appreciate another female. And even now, his demon whispered nasties to him about the vampire version of the redhead, but he ignored it with ease. The demon was bored, restless, had been for months, but Spike was over three centuries old - it was not difficult to ignore his baser instincts at this point.<p>

The fight at the Bronze had been brief. The fledgling vampires that vampire Willow had caught up in her plan were scared easily, and those that weren't dusted, ran off quickly. Anya had bitched and moaned the whole way to the factory where vamp Willow had appeared, but for the most part had been cooperative. Evil Willow had eyed him suspiciously as the girls set up the spell, ignoring Xander as he asked about his alter-ego.

'You.' She said, quietly, ignoring everyone but him. He suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable at her gaze. 'The Master said you were family, William The Bloody. But here and there, you're still chasing the Slayer.' She sneered. 'Filthy traitor. An Aurelian, claiming a Slayer. That's sick.'

Spike blinked, his eyes quickly finding Buffy's as she paled at the revelation. Angel glowered from behind the vampiric redhead, and Spike knew there would be questions to answer later. Not that he knew the answers. Buffy's mouth set into a thin line as she glanced to her friend, the non evil version.

'I'm not sure about releasing this thing into the wild, Will. It is a demon.'

'I just can't kill her.' Willow said quietly. Her eyes stayed fixed on her alter ego, as Anya finished up the circle behind them. Buffy sighed regretfully.

'No. Me neither.'

'I mean, I know she's not me. We have a big nothing in common, but still...' She left the words hanging, knowing her friend understood without her saying.

'There but for the grace of getting bit.' As she spoke, Spike wondered how Buffy would have ended up if she'd been a vampire. Then quickly dismissed the thought as he felt sick. Buffy as anything but the Slayer, without that spark that made her who she was...that wasn't a Buffy he wanted to know.

'We send her back to her world, and she stands a chance. It's the way it should be anyway.' Willow mused, and Giles cleared his throat, getting the attention of everyone in the room.

'Uh, we're about ready here.' Willow moved closer to her counterpart. Giles glared at Anya. 'Don't you try any tricks now, dear.'

'I don't need tricks.' Anya spat, turning her nose up. 'When I get my powers back, you will all grovel before me.' No one said anything in response, but both Willows' rolled their eyes at the remark. Giles raised one eyebrow, unimpressed by her words.

'Yes, uh, if you, uh, Willows, would like to, uh,' he gestured to their spots, 'complete the circle.'

Willow turned to her alter, smiling nervously. 'Good luck. Try not to kill people.' The vampire didn't show any sign of acknowledging her words, and Willow leant in to give her a hug. The vampire looked slightly startled at the action, and then moved her hands, causing the human Willow to jump backwards. 'Hands! Hands!' The vampire smiled, and then they moved over to the circle.

Vampire Willow listened uncaring as they performed the spell, happy when the world faded to white and she saw _her_ factory appear in front of her. And then she was grabbed, and felt the wood penetrate her heart.

'Aw, f...'

* * *

><p>'What do you think she meant?' Buffy said suddenly.<p>

The patrol had started quiet. Spike was feeling uncomfortable around her since vampire Willow had burst out with what they were to each other in the other world. He hadn't even been meaning to patrol with the Slayer tonight; she'd hinted that she had plans, so he'd taken it upon himself to visit Joyce for a cup of cocoa, as Giles was indisposed on a date with Jenny. But when he'd turned up at Revello Drive, Buffy had ambushed him and here they were.

He thought for a moment, unsure of how to answer the question. She waited patiently for an answer, before he shrugged and she sighed.

'I mean, she said an Aurelian, whatever that is, claimed a Slayer.' Buffy wrinkled her nose. 'What's a claim? And what's an Aurelian?'

'Means a vamp from the line of Aurelius. So me, Peaches, Darla, Dru...anyone descended from The Master.'

'So, like vampire family tree? Like I'm a "Summers"?' She clarified and Spike nodded.

'Yeah.' He patted his pockets for a cigarette but found no packets. He'd been trying to give up, mainly because of the disapproving glances both Buffy and Joyce sent him when he smoked. This conversation was wearing a hole in his reserve however and he foresaw a bottle of Jack Daniels before bed tonight.

'And?' She asked, and he raised an eyebrow in her direction. Buffy frowned in frustration. 'The claim?' He didn't answer and she stopped walking, folding her arms over her chest. 'I swear to god, between you and Angel...uh!' She threw her hands up. 'You won't tell me about your past, you won't tell me about how you can walk around during the day; and don't try to deny it mister, I got the full frontal memo, remember? And now there's this claim thing. I'm sure I can find _something_ in Giles' books and it won't be pretty coming from literature!'

'You think it would be pretty coming from me?' He asked incredulously. She shrank back a little.

'I dunno. Sometimes...even when you tell the truth and it should hurt...it doesn't...because it's coming from you. And I know you'd never lie to me. Not outright.'

He froze, a little shocked by her outburst. 'Well...no. I wouldn't lie to you. Got no cause to.'

'And you're a lousy liar.'

Spike smiled. 'There's that too.' He paused. 'A claim is...it's...difficult to explain. I don't know what vamp Red was talkin' about really, cause it's not supposed to work between anyone but a vampire and another vampire. Like a...kind of bond, I guess.' He sighed. 'Not that I'd know. Never really read up on it. I only know what Darla told me, and I never had any interest in sharing it with anyone.'

'Not even with Catherine?' Buffy asked quietly. He was quiet for a moment before answering.

'No. She was human. It was never something that occurred to me. Maybe if she'd...' He stopped, suddenly feeling a lump in his throat. 'It doesn't matter. It's not something I'd ever consider. From what Darla told me, it's forever. Till dust sort of thing.'

'Oh.' Buffy frowned. 'But if Willow was talking about me and you in the other world...'

'Was another dimension pet. Another way things could have turned out. Doesn't mean anything about this world.' He pointed out and Buffy nodded, resuming walking as he joined her at a slow pace.

'I know. But still...it's nice to know that even in a different dimension, you still have my back.' She smiled at him and he smiled back, resisting the urge to reach out and grab her hand. Instead, he nodded.

'I'll always have your back, Buffy. Don't doubt it.'

'I don't.' She whispered.

* * *

><p>They had separated when Faith had shown up. Spike was uneasy around the younger Slayer, and Buffy knew it all too well. So he'd made his excuses and left, heading off in the direction of the mansion. Buffy knew that he checked in with the younger vampire every week, probably just to make sure he was still with the having-of-a-soul, or possibly because Angel had been brooding more as of late.<p>

Faith had made allusions to her and Spike's relationship after the vampire had left, and Buffy had brushed off her questions, all too grateful when the skeezy demon turned up, yammering on about the Books Of Ascension. Buffy hadn't noticed how quickly Faith had made her excuses after the demon had explained what he had; she assumed the younger girl was bored of the situation, and was leaving it to Buffy to report in to Giles.

Which she'd done, dutifully. And now they were on a research kick for the Ascension, whatever the hell it was. All she could figure was that it destroyed a town and now it looked like Sunnydale was next.

So when Wesley had instructed her to go and find her wayward sister-Slayer, she'd been more than grateful to get away from the books. After looking through the main cemeteries and discovering Faith wasn't home and Spike was in the middle of a poker game at Willie's, she'd turned and headed to see if Angel was willing to lend a hand. So seeing Faith leaving him with a goodnight kiss, was a bit of a shock to the system.

She didn't love Angel anymore. She knew that. Too much had happened to give them any chance. She'd always care for him, but she wasn't in love with him. Didn't mean it didn't hurt to see him making friendly with the other slayer. Although, it looked like he'd left her wanting, as when she turned to leave, her face was like thunder. She didn't see Buffy though, which was probably a good thing.

'Hey.' Angel said, when Faith had left and Buffy jumped a little.

'Hi.' She said, walking into the mansion. 'Nice visit from Faith?' She asked and the vampire gave her a wry grin.

'She tried to seduce me.' He said, and Buffy almost smiled.

'She's not your type. Too feisty.'

'No. She's more Spike's.'

'She already tried him. He's not interested, trust me.'

'Why would he be, when he's in love with you?'

And there it was. The elephant in the room. The source of all the relationship angst she was currently surfing through. Angel knew - of course Angel knew; he wasn't blind and Spike tended to wear his heart on his sleeve. Buffy looked down at the floor, unable to meet his gaze.

'I get that we're over, Buffy.' Angel started, standing straight. 'I do. But I'll always care about you. And Spike is...'

'Nothing more than my friend.' _At the moment. If I can ever get my head straight._

'Maybe.' Angel said. 'But he has a way of...'

'Of what? Being my friend? Backing me up? Giving me the space I need?' Buffy sighed. 'I'm not arguing with you over this.'

'Buffy, you deserve so much more than a vampire. You need someone who can take you into the light, give you the things you need, the _human_ things you need.' Buffy stared at him, knowing then that Spike's little sunlight habit was more of a secret than she realised. That was smart though. He didn't really utilize his ability, probably in case other vamps came seeking out his secret. _And it was probably best that Angelus didn't know about it._

'What I need, Angel, is to figure out how to do this life thing on my own before I bring anyone else into it. Spike is my friend. I care about him, yes, but I care about you too. You're both my friends. He gets that.' She gazed up at her former lover. 'Do you?'

'I do.'

A phone ringing interrupted them, and Angel looked over at the old style phone he kept for emergencies. Giving Buffy an apologetic smile, he answered it, scowling as he heard the voice on the other end. Buffy couldn't hear the conversation but she knew it was Spike, just from Angel's expression.

'Yes? No. Yeah, she's here. No she's gone. The library? Something bad? Okay, I'll let her know. See you soon.' He hung up and turned to Buffy, who waiting expectantly.

'Spike?' She queried and he nodded.

'We're needed at the library. Something going on.'

* * *

><p>When Buffy and Angel arrived at the school library, it was only Spike and Giles there. Buffy raised an eyebrow at the pair, taking note of Spike's expression at her arrival with the other vampire. She rolled her eyes, then turned to Giles, taking a seat at the table.<p>

'We have a problem?' She asked and Giles nodded.

'This is to stay between us.' The Watcher instructed and both Buffy and Angel frowned but nodded in agreement. The Watcher exhaled heavily, his eyes flitting to Spike briefly. 'We have an issue...with Faith. After the problems a few weeks ago, Spike trailed her through town. He saw her going into the town hall. Presumably to meet with the Mayor. We had no proof. Until Spike trailed her last night. She tracked the demon with the books to his residence and killed him, and took the books to the Mayor.'

Buffy went pale. 'She's...she's gone bad?' She asked, unable to quite believe what she was hearing.

Spike nodded. 'Managed to get a bit of a snoop on them. Her senses for vampire s'not quite a good as others.' His gaze landed on Buffy. 'She's planning on two teaming you lot. Feeding information to the Mayor. Those books - he needed them. And she's got an eye on some other prize.'

'Me.' Angel said. 'She wants Angelus. She tried to seduce me earlier.'

Spike snorted. 'Figures. Stupid bint.'

'So what are we going to do about this?' Buffy asked hesitantly.

Giles pulled off his glasses, looking his Slayer (because bollocks to the council, she was _his_ Slayer) in the eye as he spoke, his tone serious and heavy. 'We're going to give her what she wants.'

* * *

><p>Spike was pacing. He would probably wear a hole in the floor before too long. He didn't like this plan. He didn't like it at all. Whilst the continued existence of his own soul told him that Angelus was not the one in the driving seat, he still felt antsy at putting Buffy in danger. He knew this would terrify her, despite her bravado at their plan. She would be face to face with the one enemy she'd struggled to fight last time and he knew she'd be in line for a breakdown if things went wrong. He knew she was distraught at the fact that Faith had turned to the dark side, so to speak, and he also knew that she would shoulder the blame, just like she did for everything.<p>

And he _hated _waiting. Giles had sent the others to the Hall of Records to dig up some more information on the Mayor, and they were leaving it a while longer, allowing Buffy and Angel to get the information they needed. It didn't take long for Xander to burst in, followed by the rest of the Scooby Gang and Wesley, informing them that Angelus had returned.

It didn't take long to saddle up, inform the rest of the group it was a ruse, and to dismiss Wesley's indigence at being excluded from the plan. They were on their way to the mansion before they knew it, and Spike bolted ahead of the group, his concern for Buffy overwhelming anything else. They entered as Buffy and Faith were at a standoff, and had a knife to each other's throats.

'What are you gonna do, B, kill me? You become me. You're not ready for that, yet.' She dropped her knife, leaning forward and kissing Buffy on the forehead, before turning and running, not sparing a glance for the rest of the group. Willow pushed past Spike, who was looking at the Slayer in concern.

'Are you okay?' She asked her best friend, as the Slayer looked up towards Angel, who avoided her gaze. Buffy got to her feet and smiled shakily at Willow, before moving past her friend to Spike, who ran his eyes over her, checking for injuries. She held out her hand, and he took it, unsure of where she was going with this.

Buffy squeezed his hand, holding it tightly, not looking anywhere but at him. 'I'm fine, Wills. Honest.' She tore her eyes from Spike and looked to Giles. 'We should get back to the library.'

'Yes.' The former Watcher looked at the clasped hands of the vampire and Slayer, but didn't comment on it as he turned to usher the rest of the group out of the mansion. Angel hesitated, before letting them go, deciding not to follow. He waited until Spike and Buffy had left, leaving him alone, before collapsing to the sofa.

Somehow he knew that his "act" had put the final nail in the coffin of his and Buffy's relationship.

* * *

><p>They were some way behind the group as they approached the school and Buffy pulled up slightly, her hand still joined with Spike's as they walked. He stopped moving, looking at her questioningly as she chewed her lip.<p>

'You okay pet?' He asked quietly. She looked up at him, nodding with a small smile.

'Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.' She replied, looking down at their hands. 'What I said...that I didn't love Angel...' She paused and Spike waited. 'I'm sure now. I was shaky before...but seeing...even if it was just an act...seeing Angelus again...I couldn't...' She took another pause, breathing deeply. 'It was hard. And I could never risk that happening again.' Buffy looked him in the eye and Spike nodded. 'I know that there's a risk with you. And I do...I want you. I won't lie about it. But I can't risk it...that happening.'

'No I know, Buffy.' He sighed, squeezing her hand gently. 'I don't want to risk it either. The last thing I want to see is the real re-emergence of Angelus.' He smiled at her. 'But I'm a tormented creature. A moment of perfect happiness would be hard to come by for me.'

'You saying I wouldn't make you happy.'

'Oh I've no doubt you would, Buffy. But I could never _let_ myself be happy.' He pulled her close. 'No matter what you gave me, no matter what we were...there will always be the past on my back. And I couldn't rest if I knew I was putting you in danger. Love you too much for that.'

Her heart skipped a beat as he said those words to her and she breathed heavily as she moved closer without even thinking about it. They were centimetres apart, and he lifted his hand, running his thumb over her bottom lip. 'I know.' She whispered.

'When this is all done, once we've faced down whatever is coming...I'll find a way to make his soul safe. So you don't have to worry.' He smiled, his hand moving to cup her cheek. 'I promise.'

She moved then, capturing his lips in a kiss.

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><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

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><p>Enjoy ^.^ let me know your thoughts!<p> 


	31. Reflections

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself. Rated NC-17. Just in case.

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><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

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><p><strong>Reflections<strong>

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><p>'So, have you talked to Angel lately?'<p>

The question caught Buffy off-guard as she walked with her best friend towards the quad. Their pace was slow, having no rush in getting to their study period. The Slayer looked at the red head questioningly.

'Not really. We don't see each other all that much. I don't think he even leaves the mansion unless he has to.'

'Oh. I just thought that maybe the thing with Faith...' Willow trailed off, a strange look on her face. 'I mean, he only kissed her for the greater good.'

Buffy shrugged. 'He can kiss who he wants, Will. We're not together anymore.'

'Oh.' Willow repeated, confused. Granted, she and Buffy hadn't been in "share all" mode recently, what with all the drama occurring in Sunnydale, but she was sure her best friend would have told her about the end of the epic love tale that was Buffy and Angel. 'But you still love him, right? The whole "not together" thing is because of the curse?'

'No.' Buffy said, her tone nonchalant. 'I care about him...but I don't love him anymore.' She chewed her lip as she considered telling Willow about her burgeoning feelings towards the blonde vampire in their lives. 'I'm kinda...possibly..._maybe_ seeing someone else.'

Willow jumped on her words like a cat on a piece of string. 'Oh my god. You never said. Who? Is it Scott Hope?' Buffy scrunched up her nose, and Willow frowned. 'Wait...the other night...the Faith thing...' She gasped. 'Spike! You and Spike!' The redhead shrieked and Buffy shushed her, looking around, spotting Xander approaching from the end of the hall. Willow looked way over excited as she bounced on her feet.

'Hogan!' A shout caused both girls to look and saw Percy and his friend heading towards them. Buffy turned pleading hazel eyes to her friend.

'Please, Will. Don't...I'm not even sure if there is anything to tell. Just...'

'Fine.' Willow's mouth turned into a thin line, but her eyes were sparkling with amusement. 'But I want details when they happen, missy.' Xander popped up behind them then, missing the end of Willow's sentence.

'Hogan Martin thinks he's sooooo hot. Like we should all be awed by him cuz he can put a ball in the net.' Hogan approached, smiling at the three.

'Hey Xander.' He greeted and the brunette boy just about fell down.

'He said my name! He knows my name!' Percy smiled as himself and Hogan came to a stop beside the three Scoobies.

'Hey Will.' The letterman-clad senior said, and Willow smiled in response.

'Hi.' She replied and he looked guilty as he regarded her.

'Um, look, I can't make the study session after school. Ummmm, can we do it fifth period?'

'Okay. Did you finish the reading?' She questioned and Percy looked a bit tense.

'Most of it.'

Willow frowned, putting on her teacher voice. 'Percy.'

'I'll finish it at lunch!' Percy said, and Willow smiled brightly.

'That's my little trooper.'

Hogan shook his head, looking between the jock and the nerd. 'I don't know what you're doing to him. I actually heard him complete a sentence. It had a clause and everything.'

Percy punched his friend on the arm playfully, then looked back to Willow. 'You're watching the game, right?'

'Wouldn't miss it!' She nodded, ignoring the confused look from Buffy. Xander remained locked in awe that Hogan had known his name. As the two boys moved away, Xander appeared to drag himself out of his stupor.

'See ya Hogan!' He flashed smiles at the girls before departing himself, and Buffy moved off slowly with Willow in tow.

'You're going to the game?' She questioned Willow. 'I didn't know you like basketball.'

'I didn't know you liked Spike.' Willow shot back with a sly grin. Buffy scowled at her. 'I really started getting into it. Especially now that we're in the championship. It's so exciting. Too bad you're _patrolling_.' Her tone indicated that Buffy would be doing something involving vampires but probably not patrolling. 'We're all going. Oz, Xander, I think even Ms Calendar is joining, as it isn't anything supernatural.' The red head smiled and turned, leaving Buffy behind.

'Great. Everybody who isn't currently Buffy.' She scowled, scratching at her hand. She frowned as she realised the itch was not subsiding and thought back to the patrol she'd been on the night before. She'd been tracking two ugly-as-hell demons. One of them was dead and disintegrated, but the other one had escaped, and she'd gotten in several skin-on-skin blows with the one she had killed. And now her hand was itchy. Maybe she was having an allergic reaction? Like some demons were fabric conditioner? She shrugged as she took herself in the direction of the library, entering to find Giles and Ms Calendar talking about something, rather animatedly.

When they noticed her presence, they stopped talking loudly and went quiet. Ms Calendar looked up at Giles and took a step back. 'We'll talk later.' She moved past Buffy, barely acknowledging her. Buffy frowned, wondering what she'd walked in on. She knew Jenny had been off with the whole supernatural thing since the year before, and Buffy didn't blame her, but she hoped that her and Giles' were okay. They were happy...weren't they?

The expression on her Watcher's face was anything but. Buffy waited for a moment before speaking.

'You okay?' She asked, and Giles grimaced.

'Nothing for you to be concerned about', he said, kindly. 'Now, what can I do for you?'

'Well, I met these demons on patrol last night. No mouths, really ugly, grey scales, the usual demon stuff. One of them, well, I touched one of them. And now my hand is like, super itchy.'

Giles picked up a book as Buffy followed the former Watcher into his office.

'You touched one of the demons? Buffy examined her hand under the magnifying lamp he had in his office.

'A good touch!' She clarified. 'Not a bad touch. Anyway, it's been itching like crazy. No big, just another problem for the good people at Lubriderm, right?' The Englishman frowned, holding out a book to her as she looked at the picture.

'That's the demon in question?' He asked and Buffy nodded.

'In the disgusting flesh.'

'Hmmm.' He stepped away with the book, reading it. The Slayer frowned, concerned flooding her tone.

'What?'

Giles didn't look up, his eyes still scanning the book. 'It says they can infect the host.'

'Infect? _Infect?_' Buffy almost shrieked but Giles did not reply, still reading the book. 'Giles? INFECT?' Her voice became louder, and the librarian looked up as if he had only just heard her.

'Oh um, infect the host with an aspect of the demon. That's all it says.'

'An aspect of the demon?' She clarified, grabbing the book from him. She looked panicked as she read what he had been reading.

'It's rather terse isn't it?'

'You mean, like a part of it?' Buffy asked, her eyes big and terrified.

'There could be any number of explanations for your hand. A new fabric softner can cause irritation. In any case, I would advise not to attempt to track the one that got away. Let's minimize your exposure.'

'Part of the demon?' Buffy said again, and she shuddered. 'I hope it's no the outside part.'

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><p>Naturally, Buffy had gone to the quad to seek support from Willow. But the basketball rally as on, and aside from increasing Buffy's fears with raising the question of the sex of the demon, she hadn't anything to support the Slayer's current situation. She believed she would be okay, but Buffy herself wasn't so sure. So she'd left the quad and her friends, heading out to patrol. She was taking Giles' advice and not actively tracking the other demon; in fact she was trying to avoid seeing it again. Just in case it made things worse.<p>

Pulling out the compact mirror she carried in her purse, she checked her face, her panic increasing by the minute. Upon seeing she had no horns, she breathed a sigh of relief and shut the mirror, turning, only to find Angel standing behind her. She jumped in surprise, then scowled.

'Sorry.' He offered and Buffy sagged a little.

'It's okay. I didn't see you, so I should have known you were there.' She paused. 'What are you doing here?'

'It's a dangerous time. You know...with Faith.'

'Yeah...Faith. She...well...Faith. What can you say about her?' She started walking, and Angel fell into step beside her.

'I just wanna make sure you're okay. That you're safe.' Buffy stopped and looked at him, partly offended by his statement. She could take care of herself. He knew that. He stopped too, his brown eyes regarding her almost sadly.

'And the fact that you're right here, does that mean Faith's around? Are you keeping me safe by tracking me, or are you tracking her?' He looked a little taken aback.

'I'm tracking you.' He said quietly, and she fumed a little. 'Something's bothering you.'

'A lot of things.' She folded her arms over her chest. 'Like the fact that you seem to think I can't take care of myself.' She eyed him expectantly and he stuttered.

'I-I never said that.'

'You don't need to.' Buffy huffed and started walking again. 'You've always shown up like this, Mr-Cryptic-White-Knight. I don't _need_ to be saved every five seconds, Angel. I'm the Slayer.'

'Which means you're always in danger.' He said, trying to support his own point.

'Yes. I am. And I was in danger before I met you. I was in danger all summer whilst you were in a hell dimension. I was in danger _from_ you at one point, unless you forgot.' She opened her arms wide. 'Yet here I am.'

'That's not-'

'No. It never is.' She sighed. 'You don't get this. I'm not a damsel you can save. You had your chance.'

He looked shocked by her statement. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

'It doesn't matter.' She said, and they fell quiet. Buffy scratched her hand absently. Angel eyed her and made a noise. She glared at him. 'What?'

'Is your hand okay?'

'It's fine. Just a demon thing.' She exhaled heavily. 'Actually, two demon things. I touched one of them, and now I'm gonna get a big case of the bumpires, or a tail, or something.'

'An aspect of the demon.'

'You know the drill?' She questioned and he nodded.

'By rumor. That doesn't mean anything. I mean, sometimes demons, they just exaggerate their power.

'Demon hype. Maybe not. I spend all my time in the dark here anyway. It's not like I'd be at a gain you know, with my friends, where someone could see me and my new monster part.'

Angel reached out, about to speak, then dropped his arm, not saying anything. Buffy looked at the path ahead, and her senses tingled. She smiled and Angel scowled.

'Look, Buffy...don't worry about this demon thing. You know I-' He stopped, then shook his head. 'Never mind. I'll...I'll see you around.'

And with that he was gone. Buffy shivered a little, scratching her hand in irritation as Spike emerged from the darkness. She perked up a little, smiling at him. 'Hey.'

'I see the Great Git paid you a visit.'

'And isn't he just a ray of sunshine.' She said, moving closer to the blonde vampire. 'He's so infuriating sometimes.'

'Only sometimes?' He raised an eyebrow.

'Walk with me?' She asked, and he nodded, holding out his arm as she took it gratefully.

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><p>She entered the common room the next day in a slightly better mood after her evening patrol with Spike. There'd been no naughty touching, but plenty of vampires and bantering. She enjoyed verbal battle with Spike even more so than her opponents. Never say the blond vampire could not give as good as he got. But now, seeing her friends clearly shutting up as she approached, her mood soured a little as she remembered her complete lack of social life.<p>

'Hmmm... quietness. We either lost, or we won and you don't want me to feel bad.'

Willow shrugged casually. 'Well, yeah it wasn't a really good game.'

'Yeah tall hoops, with thin tall guys. What's the point?' Xander asked, reaching into his bag of chips. Cordelia approached, grabbing something off a nearby table.

'Pretty dull.' Oz agreed and Cordelia looked at him in surprise.

'Are you guys crazy? That was an incredible game! I've never cheered so hard in my life. I still have knee marks on my back.' The entire gang looked at her. 'From the pyramid.' The cheerleader clarified.

'Yeah, well, I still bet patrolling was way better cause, wow, important.' Willow offered and Buffy tried to muster some enthusiasm.

'Well I thought I saw a four legged demon. But it was just a dog.' She sagged a little.

'A weredog?' Oz asked, almost sounding interested. Buffy shook her head.

'Regular.'

Xander grimaced. 'Tough luck.' His gaze drifted to Cordelia, who had moved away to talk to her friend. 'I wonder if she and Wesley have kissed.' Buffy felt bad for him, looking sympathetic as she regarded her friend.

'It really bugs you huh?' She asked, and Xander looked up at her blankly.

'What?'

'Cordelia and Wesley smooching.' Personally the thought made her squick a little.

'Man, you read my mind.' He replied and Buffy froze, her mind going back to what he had said. His mouth hadn't moved.

Oh god.

OH. GOD.

She excused herself quickly, heading down the hallway. Her thoughts were a mess, and she didn't noticed as she bumped into Mr Beech, a teacher from the Science department. 'Whoa, there. You watch where you're going now.'

'I'm sorry, Mr Beech. I will.'

_Students. If we could just get rid of all the students._ Buffy's eyes went wide as she registered the thought that was not her own.

_When I'm a sophomore jillionaire and you're all flipping burgers. Who's the loser then..._

_Maybe I'll take French, I said. How hard can it be. French babies learn it. IDIOT._

_I swear, someday my pants are gonna fall right off._

_Buffy is so beautiful._

She paused at that thought, seeing the male student staring at her.

_I mean, look at that body. _She blushed at the boy's thoughts. _God, I would love to shove her against that locker right now and just- _His thought cut off with a Neanderthal grunt and Buffy's eyes widened as she hurried on, bumping into another guy but not stopping to hear his mental voice as she high tailed it to the library. As she walked in, Giles' thoughts assaulted her and she slammed her bag onto the table.

'Giles. I can _read_ minds.' He looked at her blankly, his thoughts running wild at her words. She smiled. 'I'm hearing all sorts of wild and wacky stuff.'

'You can hear thoughts?' He clarified.

'Is this the thing? The aspect thing? Because I gotta say, if it is, it is way better than a tail. I mean, I have a hard enough time finding jeans that fit right.'

'Buffy, slow down. I'm not even convinced that this is genuine mind reading. You're most likely projecting your-'

'When I walked in a few minutes ago, you thought 'Look at her shoes. If a fashion magazine told her to, she'd wear cats strapped to her feet.'' Buffy smiled triumphantly as Giles blustered, his thoughts overriding his jumbled words.

_The demons are telepathic. I should have known. That's why they didn't need mouths._

'Of course, the demons are telepathic!' He said suddenly and Buffy grinned.

'I know, you just told me. That's why they don't need mouths. And you should have known.'

'This is astounding.' Giles pulled his glasses off.

'It was happening out in the hallway. Principal Snyder has "Walk Like an Egyptian" stuck in his head. And the boys at this school are seriously disturbed. It's weird, but Giles, think about it. Think about what I could do.' She bounced on the balls of her feet, ideas forming in her mind. Giles nodded in agreement.

'It could be very useful. You could anticipate your opponent's every move. Turn his plans against him.' Buffy looked at him with a mischievous expression.

'Oh, way better than that.'

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><p>She'd enjoyed classes for the rest of day immensely, becoming a A student with almost no effort. Hearing other people's thoughts was beginning to give her a bit of a headache, but she still had some fun on her agenda. She considered going to see Angel, but knowing him, his thoughts would just piss her off, so she decided to seek Spike out instead. He was at his apartment when she knocked and she smiled brightly as he opened the door.<p>

_Gods she's so radiant._

She blushed a little.

'Hey.'

He smiled. 'Hi, Buffy.' Spike stepped back to allow her entry and she moved over the threshold gracefully, watching him as he shut the door. He turned to her. 'Can I get you a soda or something?' _Stay the night? Stay forever. Get a grip, William._

She almost giggled, and he frowned. She coughed, covering her slip, smiling again. 'Yeah, sure. Can I have a Coke?'

He nodded, moving towards the kitchen. _She's acting weird. Well. Weirder. But she wouldn't be Buffy otherwise. Where did I put those Cokes? Oh yeah, the fridge. Behind the hot wings from last night's poker game._

She watched him, listening to his thoughts. He thought she was weird. But he also thought that was a good thing. He emerged from the kitchen, offering her the cold can of cola, and gestured to the sofa. She smiled again, taking a seat as he settled in beside her.

'How've you been?'

'You only saw me last night, Buffy.' _And fought with me. Beside me. Under me. Shut up. God she's so gorgeous._

She almost spat the coke out, and placed the can on the coffee table before she could embarrass herself further. He frowned.

'You okay?' He asked. _That dress looks so good on her. Dirt would look good on her. I should really stop staring. Brilliant, now I'm hard. Just me and my hand tonight again._

Her eyes widened. 'I-I'm fine. Peachy. Just, you know, out and about.'

His eyes narrowed. 'Out and about? You been patrolling?' _Please say no. Enjoy watching you fight too much._

'Not yet.' She eyed him carefully. He stared back.

'Buffy...is something wrong? Is it what you told me last night? About the demon thing?' _I don't care if she sprouts horns, I'll still love her. Still want her. Want her now. God, my jeans are too tight._

Her eyes went wide, and she shrugged. 'No. No.' She tried to look anywhere but at his crotch. 'No...horns or anything.'

'Really?' He asked, looking her over. _I'm not sleeping at all. Can't get her out of my mind._

'Well...there might be something...'

He frowned. 'Something?' _Don't know anything about these demons she said she fought. Even Rupes didn't know anything. Well. That solved the hard on. Think of the Watcher. Think of the Watcher. Cup of tea. God, her hair...bollocks._

Buffy couldn't hold it in any longer. She burst out laughing and he looked alarmed at her behaviour. 'Buffy?' _What did I do? Oh god...not this again. No. Not again. Please don't let her reject me._

'Spike...' She tried to control her breathing. 'Don't...I'm not rejecting you.'

_How the bleeding hell did she know I thought that? '_How did you know I thought that?' He asked, eyeing her warily.

'I can sorta read minds.' He went quiet, verbally anyway. _She can read minds. She can hear my thoughts. So when I've just thought about wanking off to her image, the crude things...oh lord. I'm a bad, bad man. I'm so awful. _Buffy raised her hand to his lips, although the action was pretty useless against thoughts. 'Ssssh, no, no, you're not a bad man. You're not awful. It's nice that you...think of me so much.' She said, feeling her body react to him like it always did.

_And now she's horny. God she smells so...she can hear me. Shut up. I want you Buffy. So much. Want to worship you. Lay you out and look at you. Shut up dammit!_

Buffy blushed, and the emotions got the better of her as Spike tried to stumble out an apology for his thoughts. She lunged forward, kissing him hard, tackling him backwards until he was laying on the sofa and she was on top of him, their bodies flushed. She couldn't hear his thoughts then, she was too intent on kissing him. His hands roamed her body as he moaned into her mouth. For long moments they remained locked together, until he slowly pushed her off.

'Buffy...not that I'm complaining...but...this might not be a good thing.'

'Huh?' She asked, confused and flushed. _Don't think, don't think, don't think. God I want to f-_

'Spike!' Buffy yelped and he stood up, backing away.

'This...this is awkward. Buffy, you know how I feel. I'm a very...I'm sorry. It's difficult to be so close to you and not...want you.' He finished lamely. 'But normally, this sort of power wouldn't work on me. Normally vampires don't reflect but...' _Because of the Gem I do. I have a reflection. I can see myself so she can see my thoughts. And now..._

'You have a gem?' Buffy asked. He paled more if it were possible, and Buffy scrutinized his thoughts quickly. 'Catherine gave you a Gem that keeps you safe from sunlight and crosses? And holy water?' She looked at his leg, where the gem was buried in his flesh. 'Well, that was smart. I guess if you don't want people stealing it.'

'Buffy...' He sighed, trying not to think. 'I think you should go.' She looked crestfallen. _Oh god, baby, no, don't look like that. I don't want to hurt you._ 'No, I don't - please don't hate me for this but this thing, this power you have...it might not be a good thing.'

'What do you mean?'

_I've known people to go nuts from this sort of thing. _Buffy baulked a little. He panicked. 'Please, Buffy. Go to Giles. Find a way to fix this. It's not that I don't want to be round you, because, god, you _know_ I do. But...this isn't good.' He sighed. 'You've put yourself in danger just knowing about the Gem.' _I can't watch you die, baby. Ever. I'll dig the damn thing out and meet the sunrise if you died._

'I already knew.' Buffy sniffed a little, his emotionally wrought thought getting to her. 'I knew you had something.' She stood, moving towards him. 'I'll go. I'll see what Giles has. Just promise me one thing.' _Anything._ He didn't speak. 'Take me to the beach. Just us. No demons, no fighting. Just us and the sea. For one day. Show me yourself in the sun. Properly.'

He still didn't speak, but he leant forward, putting his forehead against hers.

_I'll show you the world, if you'll let me._

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><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>


	32. Reactions

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself. Rated NC-17. Just in case.

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><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

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><p><strong>Reactions<strong>

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><p>She'd been sitting in the library for too long now and she had a pretty immense headache building. Giles had thought it prudent to inform the others of her situation, and whilst she hadn't disagreed, she wasn't exactly jumping up and down in excitement. She knew all too well that when someone knew their minds could be heard, they would think the worst thing possible simply because they didn't want anyone to know it. Even now, as she looked at her friends reactions, she knew this could only lead to badness. Willow looked panicked, as well as Xander; Oz was his normal stoic self, Wesley was avoiding looking at her altogether and Cordelia looked...bored.<p>

'She can read our minds? Our every impulse and fantasy?' Xander asked, worry in the tone of his voice. Buffy nodded in tired confirmation.

'Every one.' His eyes widened. _Oh God._ Buffy tried not to smirk.

_I don't see what this has to do with me._ Cordelia sighed. 'I don't see what this has to do with me.' Her voice was exactly the same as her thoughts. She really was an open book.

'Well, I think it's great. Right?' Willow looked for affirmation of her words. 'I mean, you enjoy your other slayer powers.'

'Yeah, and it'll be fun.' Buffy smiled at her friend. 'Did you see Nancy Doyle's face in English Class today?'

'Yeah, she's supercompetitive, and you really showed her.' Willow's tone held something that Buffy couldn't place until she heard the redhead's thoughts. _She's hardly even human anymore. How can I be her friend now? She doesn't need me._

Buffy shook her head, reaching out for the girl. 'No! I do need you!'

'Okay, what are you talking about?' Cordelia frowned. 'Because you are soooo creepy right now.' Giles stood, his eyes still on Buffy.

'Um...I think there must be some precedence for occurrences such as this. Uh, I'll research it. Wesley, can you give me a hand?' The elder Watcher looked to the younger man, who nodded.

'Of course. Where do you think we should start?'

Buffy was trying to follow the conversation, but was getting distracted by the others. Her eyes went to Oz as he made a contemplative noise in his throat.  
><em>I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me and she becomes me. I cease to exist.<em> She frowned at his line of thought. Then Xander's panicked voice filtered into her mind, but when she looked at him, his lips were not moving.

_What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex! Help! 4 times 5 is thirty. 5 times 6 is 32. Naked girls. Naked Women! Naked Buffy! Oh stop me!_

She couldn't help it at she scrunched up her nose at him. 'God, Xander. Is that all you think about?'

He looked back at her in slight horror. 'Actually... bye.' He bolted from the library. Wesley watched him leave and then looked at the rest of the group.

'Xander has just illustrated something. Chances are, you're all going to be thinking whatever you least want Buffy to hear. It's a question, of course, of mental discipline.' Buffy rolled her eyes. She already knew that.

'He's right.' Giles commented. 'There are...' His voice trailed off as Buffy heard Wesley's thoughts. _Look at Cordelia. No! Don't look at Cordelia! She's a student! Oh I am a bad man. I'm a bad, bad man!_ Buffy gazed intently at him, a smile on her face as she leant on her hand, her eyes sparkling mischievously. The suited man cleared his throat and backed away.

'Excuse me.' He disappeared into Giles' office.

Willow's voice caught her attention and she turned to her friend. 'What's it like Buffy?'

'I don't know.' The Slayer replied honestly. 'It's a little wierd. But... Look, please, don't for a second think that I don't need you, because I do. I want to share this with you. It's like all these doors are opening to all these little worlds, and I can just walk right inside.'

_No one else exists either. Buffy is all of us. We think. Therefore, she is. _

Buffy's gaze flew to Oz again and she wondered how he was coming to these conclusions. Willow's panicked thoughts reached her.

_She knows so much. She knows what Oz is thinking. I never know that. Before long, she'll know him better than I do. _

'No, don't think that.' Buffy pleaded with her friend but Willow shook her head, standing.

'I can't help it Buffy. I'm sorry, I just can't.' She fled the library, as Xander had done and Oz stood to follow.

'If you don't need me, I'm gonna follow the red-head.' And he left. Buffy turned to Giles and Cordelia.

'Guess I won't be writing that book, 'Gaining Friends through Telepathy.'' She joked, and Cordelia rolled her eyes.

_Whatever. I wonder when I can go. _'Whatever. Can I go?'

Wesley stuck his head back out of the office. 'Excuse me. Can you hear me thinking in here? I could out into the hall.'

'You know what? You stay.' Buffy stood up, collecting her bag. 'I'm getting a headache. I'll go.' She moved quickly out of the library, trying to block out the thoughts of the other students as she moved past them.

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><p>Spike had meant to stay in the apartment, to stay away from Buffy. But he couldn't. He knew damn well he couldn't. Not whilst she was out there and possibly in trouble. So he'd headed out, into the sunshine, something he very rarely did, and went straight for the library. Being who he was, he opted against going straight through the halls, and found the entrance to the stacks, coming in through the back of the library to find the two Watchers hunched over books. As much as he disliked Wesley, and wasn't inclined to spend any time with the wanker, this situation was more important than petty feelings.<p>

'Got anything Rupes?'

'Spike.' Giles greeted with a warm smile. Wesley simply glared at the vampire but said nothing. 'I'm afraid not yet. We've found something that may relate to it, though we had to cross reference several different tomes-'

'I'd love all the specifics but what have you found?' Spike's tone was urgent and Giles immediately picked up on it. He'd long known of the blond vampire's feeling for his Slayer and whilst his own feelings about Buffy being involved with yet another demon were negative, he knew Spike well by now, and considered him a loyal and trustworthy friend. He'd proved his own worth more than once, even when he had no soul to guide him.

'This tome.' Giles picked up a book from the table, running his finger down the page. Silence reigned for a few moments as Spike fidgeted impatiently. The Watcher read through the passages, turning the page. 'Ah. Here. It's happened before. A man in Ecuador. Quite recently.'

'Can we contact him?' Wesley asked, and Spike looked at Giles' expression, his own falling as the Watcher's face grew solemn in concern.

'I'd say not. He can't communicate with anyone.'

Spike swallowed, as Wesley asked the question he couldn't fathom. 'Is he dead?' Giles shook his head and Spike sighed in relief.

'No, he's in complete isolation.' Giles raised his eyes to meet Spike's. 'The power - he can't shut it off.'

Spike felt it then. He didn't know what it was, but his whole body froze as he was seized with terror. Something was wrong. A commotion in the hallway alerted all three men and Spike caught someone's shout. 'Someone's collapsed.' He relayed to the librarian. 'In the canteen.'

'Buffy.' Giles said quietly, realisation threading through his voice. Spike didn't stop to contemplate, and in a flash he was out of the library doors, not caring he was unauthorised personnel. He weaved through the crowds, arriving at the cafeteria to find Buffy on the floor, her lunch tray and it's contents scattered around her and students milling about, trying to decide what to do. He pushed several of them away, scooping her up and rushing her outside, not caring that the Scoobies were on his tail. He headed away from the school, staying on the campus but to the quietest point he could find.

He laid her gently on the ground, pulling her hair around her shoulder so she didn't catch it when she woke up, and he stroked her face, pleading with her to be okay. He noticed the others then, milling around her.

'Is she okay?' Willow, concerned as always.

'I think she just fainted.' Xander pointed out.

'The other kids said she went nuts.' Cordelia said, blunt as ever.

'Shut up!' Spike said, his eyes only on Buffy. 'She's waking up.'

* * *

><p>When she opened her eyes to the blurry faces of her friends, the last person she expected to see was Spike, framed in bright sunlight, looking down on her with endless worry in his blue eyes. He looked so handsome in the daylight it was unreal. Then her friend's thoughts invaded her mind and she squinted.<p>

_I think she's waking up now. _

_She's ok. _

_Oh thank god! _

_Her eyes are opening. _

_I'm cold. _

_Come on, Slayer. Please be okay._

She smiled gently at Spike as he supported her when she moved to sit up.

'You alright?' Giles asked. Cordelia huffed.

'He shouldn't have grabbed you. You probably have brain damage or something now.'

'I'm ok.' She said as she sat up straight, leaning on Spike for support.

'Buffy...' He said quietly and she grabbed his hand, squeezing in reassurance.

'No really, I'm okay.' She looked around her friends. 'Listen, there's a killer in the cafeteria.

Xander chuckled. 'See, I've been saying for years that the lunch lady's gonna do us all in with that Mulligan Stew.' Cordelia punched him in the arm, admonishing him. 'I mean, what the hell's a Mulligan.' The hapless boy continued, even as Spike threw him a glare. He normally had a high tolerance for the boy but right now, his worry for Buffy was eclipsing everything else.

'Someone was thinking about it. They thought "This time tomorrow, I'll kill you all". I have to find them.' She struggled to her feet, Spike helping and giving her the support she needed. She flashed him a grateful smile. Giles looked at her thoughtfully.

'Well, uh, did you recognise a voice?' Buffy shook her head.

'Boy or girl?' Willow asked.

Buffy frowned. 'I don't know. I mean, it was hardly human. It was full of so much anger and pain.' She turned, Spike still by her side, and began to head back to the school. Within seconds, the cacophony of voices inside her head started again and she stumbled, only to be caught by the vampire.

'Buffy...' Spike started. She waved him off.

'No. I have to find them.

'Yeah, I mean, who hasn't just idly thought about taking out the whole place with a semi-automatic.' Xander quipped, only to have several sets of eyes land on him. He shrank into himself sheepishly. 'I said idly.'

'I know the difference.' Buffy insisted. 'He, she, whoever, they meant it. They're gonna do it.'

_She looks so tired. _Buffy looked to Giles at his thought.

_How horrible. _Willow looked sad.

_Couldn't give a toss about this fucking school when my girl is sick._ She almost smiled at Spike then, except for the pain in her head.

_I'm not getting any warmer. _Cordelia moaned and Buffy raised a palm to her forehead.

_I bet it was Hogan. _Xander thought and Oz pondered beside him. _Who could it be?_

'Shut up!' Buffy burst out, both hands going to her head. She knew Spike was still beside her and she felt an urge to collapse into his arms. She could hear a different voice from him now, one repeating itself to protect her, only it didn't sound quite like Spike. It was more...primal. 'I'm sorry. I, it's just, can you guys not think so loud. Or so much.'

'Buffy you should go home.' Giles suggested. 'Spike?' The vampire looked up, obviously struggling to take his eyes away from the sick Slayer. 'Here are my car keys. Get her home.'

'Yeah, okay.' He said.

'I need you guys to go back to the cafeteria. Make a list of everyone who's there. We have to find the killer before lunch tomorrow.' The Slayer instructed, her voice firm whilst her body shook.

'We'll do it Buffy. A list of all the students.' Willow assured her.

'Yeah.' She nodded. 'Nancy was there. She's scary. And, uh, oh teachers too. Mr Beech, he thought something about getting rid of all the students.'

Spike took her elbow, guiding her away from the others. 'Come on, pet, let's get you home.'

'I can't shut it out. It's like this invasion of my head. It's like there's these strangers walking around in there. It's just a...Look at this. I can't even be around people anymore. Not that they're clamouring to be near me anyway. Even you.'

Spike looked at her in shock as they moved towards Giles' car. 'That's not true, Buffy. You know why I stayed away.'

'I know.' She whispered, leaning into him as they reached the passenger side of the beaten up old Citroen. 'I'll be okay right? I mean, even if you can't get rid of it.'

He sighed then, and closed his eyes. 'You'll be fine, Buffy. I won't let anything happen to you.'

_If it doesn't go away, Giles says she'll go insane._ Buffy stopped at his thought and he knew then he was busted.

'I'll go insane?' She asked, her voice small and terrified.

'Buffy, get in the car, pet. We need to get you home.'

'But...you...Giles...I don't wanna go crazy.' He opened the door, pushing her down into the seat and kneeling before her in the sunlit parking lot, the bright light bouncing off his platinum hair as he took her hands.

'Buffy. You're going to be fine. I'm not going to let that happen. We will find a way to fix this.' She stared at him, seeing the sincere honesty in his blue eyes and she retracted one of her hands from his to reach up and trace his cheekbone.

'Promise?'

'I promise.' He whispered, leaning in. _And I never break my promises._

* * *

><p>Joyce tucked the covers up around Buffy's shoulders, smiling at her daughter. Buffy smiled carefully back.<p>

'Where did Spike go?'

'He's downstairs, honey. He said he was just fixing something.' Buffy narrowed her eyes at her mom but couldn't hear anything from her except the truth, and when Joyce stood, she smiled brightly.

'Mom, would you sit with me?' Joyce smiled tightly, backing away a little. The Slayer felt suspicion rise in her mind.

'I've got to do some laundry, Buffy. Spike will be up in a minute.'

'But...' Buffy's eyes widened. 'You did what with Giles?'

'Buffy-'

'Mom, he has a girlfriend!' Before Joyce could reply, she heard Spike downstairs.

_Ow. Ow. Jesus fucking christ. This hurts. Arrrrrggggghhhh!_

Buffy winced as she felt the pain from his thoughts and wondered what the hell he was doing. But then suddenly she couldn't hear him. 'Mom...'

'Yes, Buffy?' Joyce asked, meekly.

'Would you go check on Spike? I can't hear him.' Mrs Summers didn't think to question her daughter and backed out of the room quickly before Buffy could return to her previous line of questioning. She moved down the stairs quickly, finding Spike in the downstairs bathroom, blood coating his leg and a few splashes on the floor. He was leaning heavily against the sink, holding a knife in one hand and his other closed in a fist.

'Spike?!' Joyce exclaimed. 'What did you do?'

He breathed heavily as he turned to her. She grabbed a towel from the rail and handed it to him. He grimaced as he turned, taking the towel and holding it against his leg. He'd almost nicked a damn artery - not something he'd die from but he didn't have any blood on hand to replenish himself.

'There was...it doesn't matter.' He shook his head. 'Look. Can you put this somewhere safe. And don't tell anyone where it is.' He opened his fist to reveal a blood covered green gem, about the size of a quarter. Joyce eyed it, then grabbed another towel and took the gem, cleaning it off. 'I will need it back. When Buffy is better.'

She nodded. 'Why did you do this?'

'Because this way I can't hurt her.' Spike said, not offering more of an explanation than that. He placed the knife on the back of the sink.

'Just...er...make sure you don't stain the sheets.' Joyce asked and he grinned as he pulled the towel away from his leg.

'I'm healing already. I'll clean this up in a bit, okay?' He gestured to the blood on the floor and the sink. Joyce nodded, and turned away. He took a breath and then left the bathroom, wincing at the throbbing in his leg. But before long, his thoughts moved to Buffy and he scaled the stairs quickly, entering her room to see her on the bed, a look of concern on her face. He shrugged his duster off and threw it onto the chair.

'What did you do?' Buffy asked, looking at his injured leg.

'I made things easier for you.' He said, quietly.

'You...you took out the gem?' She asked, horror clouding her words. He nodded. 'Why?' Her bottom lip wobbled. 'Didn't you want me to hear you?'

'No...no, gods, Buffy, no. I would _never_ keep anything from you. But you need quiet. You don't need more thoughts clouding you. And this way...you don't have to be burdened by my thoughts and you don't have to be alone either.'

'You'll put it back in right?' She questioned and he nodded. Buffy smiled. 'Good. Because you owe me a beach date, mister.'

* * *

><p>The phone rang and alerted Spike before Buffy was awoken. He grabbed it quickly, slipping from the room to leave the Slayer in peace. She was sweating, still plagued by the voices even in her sleep. It was breaking him to see her suffering so much.<p>

'Hello?' He answered the phone, seeing Joyce come down the hall from her room.

/It's Giles. We have found a cure./

'Good. What do we need?'

/Angel is out gathering the last ingredient. Once we have the potion, I shall send him to the Summers' residence with it./

'I hope he isn't going to let us down.'

/Regardless of what has happened Spike, he still cares for Buffy./

'I know, I know. I just hope he's quick about it. She's suffering, Rupes, and there's not a thing I can do.' Spike's voice was almost pleading as he spoke, and he looked up as Joyce placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

/I am sure she is grateful for your being there./

'I'm not much use.'

/It doesn't matter. You are doing what you can./

Spike offered a quiet goodbye and hung up, looking to Joyce. 'She's still sleeping. But she's not resting.'

'I wish we could do more.' The Slayer's mother said, looking at the vampire with sadness. 'I got you some blood. You should replace what you lost, dear.'

'I'm fine.'

'Nonsense. You're no use to Buffy running on empty.' She insisted. 'I will sit with her whilst you sort yourself out. I know you'll rush back up here anyway.'

He smiled, and with one last glance back at the bedroom door, turned to go down the stairs.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, a pounding on the door alerted Spike to Angel's arrival. It was early in the morning, and Spike was dozing by the Slayer's side when the noise started. He heard Joyce open the door and heard the footsteps rushing up the stairs. Angel burst into the room like some kind of superhero, glaring at Spike when he saw him at the slayer's side. Buffy stirred, her eyes unfocused as she tried to move.<p>

'She needs to drink this.' Angel thrust the blue glowing potion at Spike, who took it quickly and turned to Buffy.

'Cure's here, pet, open up.' She struggled, her mind unclear, and he looked to Angel, who moved to the other side of the bed.

'We may need to pin her down.' The younger vampire suggested and Spike grimaced. 'I'll hold her, you get that down her.' He reached over, placing his hands on Buffy's arms. Spike tried not to growl, knowing he had no say on the matter but not happy about Angel touching her. He doubted she'd be thrilled over it either. But now was not the time. He slipped one hand under her head as she struggled, lifting the potion to her lips. She was trying to screech but her throat was raw, and he took the opportunity, pouring the foul smelling, and no doubt foul tasting, concoction down her throat. She spluttered and coughed, but swallowed all the same.

Within seconds the potion was gone, and she went still. Angel removed his hands from her and then removed himself from the room. Spike watched for a second, placing the empty container on the side as his eyes remained on Buffy.

Then her body began to shake and convulse. His eyes went wide and he reached for her.

'Angel!' He yelled as the Slayer continued to shake in his arms.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>


	33. Decisions

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note: **I may get in trouble for this. I don't care. If you have Facebook, go and search for Buffy The Vampire Slayer Fan Club. It is run by my friend Shangel, and he writes the most awesome and poignant reviews for episodes of Buffy and Angel. Like the page whilst you're there. It's a huge community of like-minded Buffy fans, proving that this series will NEVER die. I have made some wonderful life long friends through that page. So come and join us :)

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Decisions<strong>

* * *

><p>It had almost torn him in two.<p>

She'd recovered from the demon's aspect and burst out of the house into the sunshine, her concern for her calling beckoning her to take care of the situation at the school. He had stood, bereft, in the doorway of her house, unable to follow her into the sun. It had been so long since he'd been boxed in like this, it made his skin crawl.

But he didn't have the time to implant the Gem and couldn't do it with Angel still lurking in the house. The younger vampire had been doing nothing but glaring at him since he got there and the only reason Spike hadn't swiped the look off of his face was because of Joyce. The elder woman had wisely left the vampires to it, briefly speaking with Spike whilst he cleared up the mess he'd left in the bathroom, but avoiding conversation with Angel at all costs. She'd never liked the darker vampire.

It seemed like hours later when Buffy returned and dusk was falling. Angel had beat Spike to the door, his hands _touching_ her and irritating her, which Spike could see. He hung back, assessing her condition with his eyes, seeing how tired she was and how she didn't need to deal with Angel's crowding.

'Angel, I'm fine! Just back off.' She pushed him away, and he looked for all the world like a wounded puppy.

'Buffy, I was just worried.'

'So was Spike, but he isn't all over me like a disease the minute I get back.' She ignored the offended look on Angel's face and looked towards the door. 'Look, the sun is almost down. You can go now.'

Angel stared at her, then looked to Spike, malice in his eyes, and stalked out of the door, muttering under his breath. Spike didn't move as Buffy shut the front door, turning to the blond vampire and sighing.

'Sorry. He's...' She looked at him then, catching his eye and the look he was giving her. 'What?'

'You don't have to apologise for anything, kitten.' He took a hesitant step forward.

'I do. You dug that gem out of your leg, left yourself vulnerable, all so I didn't have to be alone.' She smiled, closing the distance between them. 'Might be the grossest but most sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.' She raised a hand to trace his cheek. 'You have to put it back in though.'

'Was planning on it. But couldn't do it with the great fore-headed one here. That and the fact that I think I traumatised your mum enough for one day. Ruined a couple of her towels.'

'I've done worse than a couple of towels, Spike.' Buffy said, leaning into him, sliding her arms around his torso. He leaned his cheek against her hair, inhaling her scent, memorising it.

'You took care of everything at the school?'

'Yeah.' She said, her voice muffled by his t-shirt. 'Turns out it was the lunch lady. Rat poison in the stew.'

'Original.' Spike scoffed and Buffy giggled. He smiled at her mirth, grateful for the millionth time that she was okay. She pulled away then, and he felt cold as she did.

'Anyway. You better hide that special stone of yours away. I know where mom hid it. Let's get it back in you. Have to be all sun proof for the beach tomorrow.'

His eyes widened. 'Tomorrow? Don't you have school?'

'Please. I've practically graduated. And I need a break. So we're skipping.' Buffy smiled as she reached down and took his hand. 'Just the two of us. It'll be perfect.'

Spike smiled, nodding. 'Anything with you is perfect.'

* * *

><p>The sun would have been blinding him but the vision before him was more brilliant than the sun could ever hope to be. Buffy was stood at the very edge of the water, dipping her toes in the cool liquid as the daylight glittered off of the simply white beach dress she wore. He lounged back on his elbows in the sand, his eyes roaming over her as she flashed him a coy grin, then she turned back and looked out to sea, closing her eyes and inhaling the clean air.<p>

She'd been so excited on the drive down here, and it had almost become contagious. He was reluctant to go at first, finding the thought of spending the whole day in the sun worrying - he'd never used the Gem to such an extent before. He'd replaced it in it's original spot, after Buffy had retrieved it from her mother and spent a few minutes tracing her fingers over its green surface. She'd asked about the flaw in the crystal and he explained that it had been damaged, and as a result wasn't quite up to its supposed legend, but then she'd handed it back to him with a smile, saying it was more than a gift for him.

In a way, Catherine had given her a gift too, he supposed.

So they'd driven down to the coast, a secluded part, half a hour away from Sunnydale, and they'd been alone all day. She'd packed a picnic, more for herself and tradition than him, and they had simply lounged and talked for the past few hours. The sun was low in the sky now, but no less bright as it cast pinks and purples across the clouding sky. Buffy looked up, then moved to sit back next to him.

'This has been...wonderful.' She sighed, pulling the discarded picnic blanket over and laying her head on it. She raised an eye and cast it over him, appraising his body under the tight black vest top he'd chosen to wear for the day. She'd asked him to go topless, and he'd refused, amazingly with only one expletive thrown in. 'I think you've caught the sun.'

'No.' He said. 'I'm still working on her.'

Buffy blushed, slapping him and throwing a hand over her eyes. 'I guess we should think about heading home soon. Mom was okay with me blowing out school today, in light of my adventures in everyone else's brains yesterday, but Giles won't be so happy when he finds out. Especially since I spent it with you.'

'Why's that, pet? Me and Rupes are friends.'

'He's been Groucho lately. I guess the whole thing with Jenny is getting to him, and yeah, he might like you, doesn't mean he likes his Slayer involved with another vampire.'

'Involved, are we?' Spike rolled onto his side, propping his head on his palm as he regarded her. She smiled and mirrored his pose, drawing circles in the sand between them with her finger.

'Well...I'd like us to be. I know we said we wouldn't rush things but...' She sighed. 'Maybe I haven't got long enough _not_ to rush things.'

'Hush your gums.' He said, firmly. 'You'll live forever if I have anything to say about it.'

Buffy made a face. 'Forever is a long time. You might get bored with me.'

He snickered. 'There is nothing boring about you, Buffy Summers.' He frowned then, her words catching up to him. 'What do you mean, the whole thing with Jenny?'

The Slayer squirmed a little. 'She broke up with him. I don't think he wanted me to know, but I couldn't really help it you know? She's gone, left town. Said that she couldn't be around all the crazy stuff any more and left. He's kinda heartbroken but covering it with that stiff upper lip thing. I haven't told anyone else - what with the insane thoughts and all. But he needs a friend I think.'

'Hmmmm.' Spike murmured. 'I'll pay him a visit tonight.' He looked over at the rapidly sinking sun. 'But for now, we have to get back to town.' He got to his feet, pulling her up and handing her the sandals she'd discarded when she'd gone to paddle. She smiled brightly, and they grabbed the rest of their things, setting off across the beach, walking close enough that their shoulders brushed on occasion. They didn't speak, both absorbed in their own thoughts, but a growl from a cave as they passed attracted both blondes' attention.

'What was that?' Buffy whispered, looking over to the darkened caves, almost hidden in the cliff face. Spike narrowed his eyes.

'Let's get this stuff back to the car. It's only over there.' They quickened their pace and Buffy frowned as he pulled two swords from the trunk of his car, looking down at her sandals.

'I can't fight in sandals. Or barefoot.'

Spike looked down, frowning at her feet. 'Can you try not to kick?' He asked and Buffy shrugged.

'I guess. I just gotta hope my fists'll do the job.' She took the sword he offered her and they headed back to the cave. Spike went first, slipping into the growing darkness of the cave, motioning for Buffy to follow him. Another growl sounded and Spike stilled, feeling Buffy do the same behind him. There was something large and dangerous in that cave, but neither blonde could walk away without investigating and possibly killing whatever it was.

'Keep close.' Spike whispered, and he moved forward, jumping back as a burst of flame came from in front of him. Whatever had spouted the fire moved into sight, and Buffy gasped. The thing was at least eight feet tall, with a serpent's face and wicked talons extending from long arms covered in thick red scales. It's eyes spotted them, and Spike moved backwards. 'Towards the exit. Draw it out into the open. Fire and enclosed spaces, not a good idea!' Buffy turned and ran, Spike on her heels, and they burst back out on to the sand as the demon followed close behind.

It roared and shot more flame into the air, and Buffy shrieked as a tendril of fire got too close to her. It looked like normal fire but spread like liquid from the creature's mouth, almost like a dragon, and she had no desire to either get burned or ruin her dress.

Spike span with the sword, completely missing the demon but getting caught by a long taloned appendage as he retreated, causing him to fall and hit the sand with a grunt. He looked down at his arm, seeing the blood well up from the deep gash and he snarled, irritated with himself for being careless. He watched as Buffy ducked under flame and brought her sword round, separating the demon from one of its arms. He smiled, then pushed himself to his feet, rushing forward and behind the demon to bring the sword down on its neck in a sweeping arc. Fire sprayed from its mouth once more as it's head rolled to the floor, swiftly followed by the rest of the corpse. The vampire smiled, proud of his handy work, then he saw the look on Buffy's face.

He turned, seeing at least five more of the foul red creatures emerge from the cave, and he swore to himself as Buffy groaned behind him.

'Why did I bring sandals?!'

* * *

><p>It was late when the vampire trudged into the library, sighing heavily as he threw himself down into a chair at the table. Giles emerged from the office at his friend's entrance, peering over his glasses at him.<p>

'Are you okay, Spike?'

'Well, the nice day at the beach turned into a brawl with some fire spouting scaled demon types. So...pretty much your typical day in the life of.' Spike sighed. 'Buffy wasn't too happy about the turn of events.'

'No, I imagine that put quite a dampener on your day.'

'You're not pissed then?' Spike asked, looking up at the watcher. Giles sighed.

'No. Joyce told me of your plans. Buffy needed a break. The world wasn't going to go to hell if she had a few hours off.' The librarian sat down opposite the vampire, raising his eyes to him.

'You okay, Rupes?' Spike asked, knowing what the problem was but not wishing to break confidence. It was up to Giles whether to tell him or not.

'Jenny and I...' Giles sighed heavily again, feeling bone weary in his years. 'She left me. Things had not been quite right for a long time, I admit, but after everything that has been happened - she theorised that being around myself and this town was too dangerous. She said she would keep in touch but-'

'You doubt she'll keep her word?'

Giles shook his head. 'It's unlikely. My life, after what happened to her, terrified her. And I cannot, will not, blame her. She is only human.'

Spike nodded, feeling bad for his friend, before motioning to the door. 'Wanna get piss drunk?'

'That would not be very responsible of me.'

'No, it would be irresponsible to do it alone.' Spike stood, leaning down to clasp a hand on the other man's shoulder. 'You need a drink. I'm buying. Come on.'

* * *

><p>Spike wasn't expecting the knock on his door, and he was deep in thought when it came. Naturally he jumped out of his skin, then mocked his own jumpiness. No self-respecting vampire jumped at a sudden noise. But then, no self-respecting vampire fell in love with a Slayer, so he was thoroughly buggered on all accounts.<p>

When he answered the door, he hadn't been expecting Buffy either, and she smiled brightly at him. He smiled back, standing to the side to let her in.

'I'm not stopping. I'm collecting.' She announced, gesturing to his coat. 'Library calls.'

'Oh right?' He asked, grabbing his coat. 'What's the occasion?'

'Aside from the immense hangover I saw Giles nursing this morning?' She asked, her tone holding amusement.

'Oh, that. He needed to...loosen up a bit.'

'From the smell, he loosened up a lot.' She quipped, heading down the stairs as Spike shut his apartment door and followed her. As they moved out on to the street, she kept close to him, a part of her itching to reach out and hold his hand but not brave enough to make the move. 'Anyway, the occasion is Faith and The Mayor. Something is going on and I'm bored of waiting for them to make a move. So I thought I'd throw a wrench in the works. They've got some box, and I wanna take it. The Box of Gotrocks or something.'

'Right.' He said, fairly sure that wasn't what it was called. Buffy was smart, but her grasp on unfamiliar words was sometimes amusing. 'So we're gonna go take this box?'

'Yup.' She chirped, brushing against him. 'Oh, I got into Northwestern.' He stopped, blinking. Buffy turned to face him, wondering what he would say. 'You know, graduation and all that going off to college stuff?' He looked a little shocked for a minute and then he smiled.

'You got into Northwestern? That's fantastic, Buffy!' He moved forward again. 'Have you decided to accept?'

'I don't know. There's a lot of opportunities out there, once I stop the Mayor and stuff. But I haven't made a complete decision. I mean, life outside Sunnydale? Daunting...but exciting.' She was babbling and she knew it, but she was uncertain of Spike's reaction.

'No, no. I understand.' There was no hint of disappointment or anger in his tone. He seemed genuinely happy for her.

'So...you don't think I should stay in Sunnydale. Be the Slayer?' She asked.

'You're still Buffy. Being the Slayer is part of who you are, not the entirety of who you are. You have a right to better your future, pet.' He pointed out.

'But...what about us?' She stopped, almost feeling sadness at his enthusiasm for "bettering her future". He frowned, then turned to face her. 'I mean, if I leave...won't that make things difficult?'

'Why should it?' He asked, moving closer to her. 'I'm not going to stand in the way of your future, kitten. I want to be part of it, yes, but in any way you want me to be. I can come with you, or I can stay here and watch the home fires, so to speak, and have the holidays with you. I'd leave it in your hands, but I'm not going to be the reason you don't do this. I'm not your life, Buffy. I'll always be part of it, as long as you want me, but I'll not be the be all and end all. That kind of love...it burns out, pet.' He knew she hadn't said she loved him, not yet, but he had to get it out there, make it clear he wanted what was best for her but he wouldn't stop her from doing what _she_ wanted.

Buffy thought over his words for a second and then smiled widely. 'God, you are just too good to be true. Seriously? Who is _that _supportive?' She grinned, reaching out and grabbing his hand. 'When they made you, they broke the mould, didn't they?'

'Same could be said for you, pet.' He grinned, pulled her close and kissing her forehead.

* * *

><p>Buffy looked around at the collected group in the library. Wesley stood by the office, a book in his hands, whilst Xander sat at the table with Spike. Giles and Willow entered through the library door, carrying large drawings; the blueprints and plans for city hall. The Slayer started talking as they entered. 'The Box of Gavrock. It houses some great demonic energy or something which His Honour needs to chow down on come A-Day.'<p>

Wesley looked at the load carried by the other Watcher, raising an eyebrow. 'What's that?'

'Maps. And stuff.' Giles replied stiffly, placing the maps on the table. Spike grabbed one and began unfolding, looking over them with interest.

'Plans for City Hall. They were in the Water and Power mainframe.' Willow explained and Wesley nodded slightly.

Buffy pointed to a map sheet. 'The box is being kept under guard in a conference room on the top floor. There. Unfortunately, that's all I could get out of my informant before his aggressive tendencies forced me to introduce him to Mr. Pointy.'

Wesley took a breath and glanced over. 'Well, now, here's what I think we should do...'

'I figure we can enter through the skylight. I'll take Spike with me.' She hesitated. 'I was going to involve Angel, but he seems...' She trailed off, noticing the dark shadow pass over Giles' face as he nodded.

'Agreed.'

'And there's a fire ladder on the east side of the building.' Xander reached over the map, landing a finger on a point. 'Here.'

'Yes, yes, fine, but we still need to consider whether the Mayor...' Wesley tried to interject, only to be overridden by Spike.

'It won't be enough to just have the box.' He pointed out.

Willow nodded quickly. 'Right, we have to destroy it. Not just physically - ritually, with some down and dirty black magic.' She chewed her lip thoughtfully as Wesley frowned.

'Hang on. We don't know what such a ritual would require.' Giles ignored him, grabbing a book and fingering through. The frustrated Watcher attempted to look over Giles' shoulder.

'I think the Breath of the Atropyx is standard for this sort of thing. Fairly simple recipe. Xander?' Giles handed the book to him, not noticing that Wesley was now going red in the face.

'I know. I'm ingredient getting guy.' His tone was both resigned and proud. Spike clapped him on the shoulder in reassurance.

Wesley finally lost his patience and stamped his foot down like a toddler throwing a tantrum. 'Alright, stop! I demand everyone STOP this instant!' Everyone looked at him in confusion. 'I'm in charge here and I say this is all moving much too fast. We need time to fully analyse the situation and devise a proper and strategic strategem.'

Buffy turned fully to him looking at him hard. 'Wes, hop on the train or get off the tracks.'

The Watcher grimaced. 'The Mayor will most assuredly have supernatural safeguards protecting the box..' Silence greeted his observation. 'Oh, we all forgot about that, did we?' He felt a sense of triumph but did not change his expression.

The slayer shrugged. 'Looks like a job for Wiccan girl. What do you say, Will? Big time danger.' Willow smiled, waving a hand, although her nerves were a bundle. She'd been learning but only how to float a pencil so far. And she didn't even have Jenny here to help - not that anyone would mention it in front of Giles.

'Hey, I eat danger for breakfast.' She scoffed, and Xander chuckled.

'But oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods.'

Buffy nodded, a small smile on her face as her gaze drifted to Spike, who was getting up from his seat. 'Let's get to work.'

One by one they moved past Wesley, who stood with a dumbfounded look on his face, even more so as Giles put a map in his hands before leaving. With a roll of his eyes, Wesley sighed and followed, knowing he would not win the fight.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>


	34. Co-operation

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note: **Thank you so much for all the reviews. And even if you haven't let a review (booo-urns! I kid) thank you for at least reading this far. I don't care if there's ten people still with me - I love you all for the support. I am loving my muse at the moment, not so loving the lack of sleep so much, but I'm being spurred on to get this continued every day. I'm going to try, try, try to at least get the end of Season 3 before the end of this week...I'm supposed to be on holiday...but I'm taking the laptop with me! I just can't be away from my word processor least I be hit by inspiration.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Co-operation<strong>

* * *

><p>They thought they'd gotten out okay, that they'd grabbed the box and escaped by the skin of their teeth, but escaped all the same. Until they'd returned to the library and found that a little red headed witch was missing from their group. Xander and Oz had prepared the spell, and they had the box of Gavrok, but without Willow, Buffy was not willing to destroy the box. Spike watched Oz as the discovery of Willow's whereabouts was made, and whilst the little musician didn't show any outward sign of distress, the slight flaring of his nostrils and the change in his scent indicated that he was angry.<p>

Spike didn't blame him.

The argument had escalated when Wesley refused to relent on the subject of destroying the box. Spike had continued to watch, knowing he didn't need to speak, even if he agreed with Buffy. She was capable of fighting her own battles, and with Xander and Giles on her side too, she certainly didn't need his voice in the mix. So when Wesley had continued to insist against calling for a trade, Spike hadn't been surprised when Oz had stood, not a word falling from his lips, grabbed the urn containing the destruction spell for the box, and smashed it against the wall, leaving a stain on the white plaster.

Buffy had ended the row then, instructing Giles to make the call for a trade. Wesley had stood for a few moments longer, trying to stare her down, but ultimately wilting. Spike had smirked, despite the situation, wondering just how proud Buffy would continue to make him.

As Giles spoke on the phone, Spike moved to Buffy, and she looked up at him with a grateful but tense smile, allowing him to embrace her. Neither blonde noticed Wesley roll his eyes, and Xander grin slyly. Whilst he wasn't happy that Spike was another vampire, he much preferred Spike to Angel.

The sound of the phone being replaced on the cradle made all of them turn, but Buffy kept close to Spike as she looked to her (true) Watcher. He looked at her with a stern expression.

'So?' Buffy asked hesitantly, not sure how to phrase the question.

'They have Willow. She is unharmed.'

Spike heard Oz release a breath. He looked to the Watcher. 'They willing to trade?'

'It seems the Mayor is desperate for this box.' Wesley made a noise at Giles' words, but Buffy shot him a warning glance. Giles ignored the younger Brit again, continuing with what he was saying. 'They have agreed to a trade. They will be here in one hour, in the cafeteria. The box, for Willow.'

'If they hurt her...' Buffy started, her eyes meeting Oz's and seeing the same turbulent emotions in the werewolf's gaze. Giles nodded.

'I believe this box is far too valuable to allow even Faith to overstep her boundaries.' Giles said quietly. The library fell into silence, each contemplating the possible outcomes of the evening.

* * *

><p>Everyone was in the cafeteria, including Angel. Buffy hadn't wanted to call him, but Giles had suggested having one more fighter on their side would be beneficial. She'd glowered and protested, but eventually relented, but her mood was soured since the darker vampire had arrived. He'd done nothing but send daggers in Spike's direction, and Spike eloquent use of two fingers had not deterred the glare. Now they were all gathered, waiting for the Mayor, everyone armed discreetly, except for Giles, who held a baseball bat.<p>

'The whole place is locked down, except for the front.' Oz said, coming to a stop by the Watcher, his eyes directed at Buffy. She nodded and Xander shuffled uncomfortably.

'Yeah, it gives me that comforting trapped feeling.' He murmured.

'One way out means one way in. I want to see them coming.' Buffy focused on the door, then scowled as all the lights went out, slowly being replaced with the emergency lights above the doors.

'Guess they're shy.' Xander quipped. Buffy ignored him.

'I can see alright.' Angel said sourly.

'Me too.' Spike agreed, and everyone's head whipped to the doors as two vampire guards, in full demon form, pushed through into the room, followed by the Mayor and Faith holding a rather angry looking Willow. The red head was not happy about being manhandled by the rogue slayer, but relief flooded her vision as she saw Oz, who looked so tense, Spike thought he might attack any second.

The Mayor advanced forward as Buffy broke away from the Scoobies, folding her arms as she approached, stopping within an arms reach of the suited politician. He clasped his hands together, smiling widely.

'Well, this is exciting, isn't it?' He chuckled. 'Clandestine meetings by dark of night. Exchange of prisoners. I just, I, I feel like we should all be wearing trench coats.' He glanced over at Spike. 'Well...some of you are.'

'Let her go.' Buffy looked at Willow, her tone brokering no argument.

'No. Not until the box is in my hands.' The Mayor looked her up and down. 'So you're the little girl that's been causing me all this trouble. She's pretty, Angel.' He looked over, not noticing the stony glare of the blond vampire to his right. 'A little skinny. Still don't understand why it couldn't work out with you and my Faith. Guess you kind of just have strange taste in women.' Spike growled, and Angel glared.

'Well, what can I say? I like them sane.' Obviously no one had updated the Mayor.

Willow squeaked as Faith tightened her grip in response to Angel's words. Oz glanced at the vampire. 'Oz.' Buffy felt like scowled at Giles. _Oh, yeah, having Angel here was a brilliant idea._

The Mayor shrugged. 'Well, I wish you kids the best, I really do. But if you don't mind a bit of fatherly advice, I, uh, I-I just don't see much of a future for you two. I don't sense a lasting relationship. And not just because I plan to kill you. You two have a bumpy road ahead.'

Buffy laughed, then shook her head. 'This is so not the place. Just hand Willow over and you'll get your box.'

'God, you kids, you know. You don't like to think about the future. You don't like to make plans. Unless you want Faith to gut your friend like a sea bass, show a little respect for your elders.'

Spike chuckled mirthlessly. 'I can safely say there's two creatures in this room with a few more years and lot more death on their record than you.'

'Yeah, and that's just one of the things you're going to have to deal with, isn't it Angel?' The Mayor directed his question back to Angel, and Spike growled again. This time the Mayor's gaze slid back to the blond vampire. 'See now, this is curious. Has the inevitable already happened? Did you realise you were going to outlive her, Angel? Have to watch her grow old and die whilst you stay eternally young? I married my Edna May in ought-three and I was with her right until the end. Not a pretty picture. Wrinkled and senile and cursing me for my youth. Wasn't our happiest time. And let's not forget the fact that any moment of true happiness will turn you both evil. I mean, come on. What kind of a life can either of you offer her? I don't see a lot of Sunday picnics in the offing. I see skulking in the shadows, hiding from the sun. She's a blossoming young girl and you both want to keep her from the life she should have until it has passed her by. My God! I think that's a little selfish. Is that what you came back from Hell for? Is that the greater purpose?' He looked between the two vampire, shaking his head. Buffy glared at him.

'You know nothing.' Spike snarled, but Buffy held out a hand to him. The Mayor sighed, almost in disgust.

'Make the trade.' Angel picked up the box and moved toward Faith, who pushed Willow toward him. They traded, and Willow moved to Oz's side quickly, grasping his arm tightly. Buffy took a step back, her eyes watching for any sign of a double cross. The Mayor nodded. 'Well, that went smooth.'

The doors opened just then and Snyder walked into the room with two officers, barking an order as he did. 'Nobody moves!' As the officers locked the door, the Mayor moved backwards, disappearing into the shadows. 'I knew you kids were up to something.' Snyder groused, and Buffy shot him an annoyed look.

'Snyder, get out of here.' She threw out, and Snyder glared at her.

'You're not giving orders, young lady. I suppose you're going to tell me I won't find drugs in this box.' He took the box from Faith, who stepped back and drew her knife. Buffy raised a hand.

'Wait!' She called, and Faith stilled her hand a second as the Mayor stepped forward into view.

'Principal Snyder.' The troll like man turned to him in surprise, then stopped as he spotted the knife Faith held. 'I think we have a problem.'

' . I had no idea you...I'm terribly sorry.'

'No, it's I who should apologise. Coming down here at night.' The Mayor smiled that disarming smile of his. 'What must you be thinking? But you see, I just needed to...' His eyes opened wider as he saw the policeman behind Snyder opening the box. 'No! Don't do that!'

A spider like creature burst forth from the box and clasped onto the policeman's face, leading him to scream loudly in agony. He attempted to pull the creature from his face but it was too strong and after a few moments, he collapsed and hit the floor, not longer moving freely, his body twitching in the throes of death. The spider let go and skittered away into the shadows, leaving the room frozen. Everyone looked around for the creature, panic visible in their eyes.

'Oh god.' Wesley whispered, and Xander whipped his head from side to side.

'Where did it go?'

'Get that door open!' Snyder yelled at the remaining police officer, and Spike moved to block the door.

'No! You can't let that thing out of here!'

The policeman attempts to pull the spider off his face, but cannot. He collapses to the floor and stops moving. The spider releases him and skitters away into the shadows. The whole thing happened so quickly, no one moved to interfere. The Scooby Gang starts shifting positions, looking for the creature.

'I still want to know where it went.' Xander said, to no one in particular. Buffy held up a hand, beckoning for silence.

'Listen.' Subtle noises sounded around them, the sound of the monster skittering on the ceiling. Everyone looked up, as the spider dropped down onto the Mayor's face. Faith rushed to his side, her cry of "Boss!" echoing through the room. She pulled the spider off, flinging it across the room into a wall. It righted itself and disappeared once more. Giles and Wesley clambered onto chairs, whilst everyone remained staring at the Mayor, his wounds disappearing instantly before their eyes. Snyder stared in horror as the politician pointed at the still open box.

'Wouldn't leave that open.'

Buffy dashed forward, slamming the box as another creature tried to emerge. It's severed parts clattered to the floor, and as Buffy moved backwards, another spider dropped onto her back. She threw herself backward, crushing the creature against the tiled floor. As she did so, the remaining spider climbed the wall beside Wesley and Faith drew back her arm, flinging her knife at the Watcher, his eyes widening in panic as the blade flew past his face and impaled the spider against the plaster.

'Is that all of them?' Oz asked, his grip on Willow tight. The Mayor smiled.

'Ah, not really. You see, there's about fifty... billion of these happy little critters in here. Would you like to see?' He offered and the remaining officer finally got the door open. 'Raise your hand if you're invulnerable?' No one replied as the cop and the two vampire guards raced from the room. Faith stared at the impaled spider on the wall, wanting to retrieve her knife. 'Faith, let's go.' She didn't reply, and the Mayor repeated her name, his tone harder. Faith stared a moment longer, the followed him out of the room.

Snyder was frozen, a chair held protectively in front of him as Faith moved past. Buffy moved when they had left, looking down at her principal.

'Snyder, you alive in there?' He looked up at her with terror filled eyes.

'You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?' He asked, moving away from her and out of her room, the chair still in his grip like a security blanket.

Wesley cleared his throat. 'Well, that went swimmingly.'

'We did alright.' Buffy said, looking at Willow as her best friend looked back.

* * *

><p>Buffy sat quietly, leaning back against the tree, just watching the other students go by on campus. She noticed Willow approaching slowly, a tentative smile on her best friend's face. She smiled back as Willow took a spot on the ground next to her.<p>

'Deep thoughts?' The redhead asked and Buffy nodded.

'Deep and meaningful.'

'As in? '

Buffy sighed heavily. 'As in, I'm never getting out of here. I kept thinking if I stopped the Mayor or ... but I was kidding myself. I mean, there is always going to be something. I'm a Sunnydale girl, no other choice.' She looked sad as Willow pulled a letter from her bag.

'Must be tough. I mean, here I am, I can do anything I want. I can go to any college in the country, four or five in Europe if I want.' Buffy didn't look up as she pulled a piece of grass from the floor, twirling it in between her fingers.

'Please tell me you're going somewhere with this? '

Willow grinned. 'No.' She handed the letter over. 'I'm not going anywhere.'

The Slayer opened the letter, gaping at the contents. 'UC Sunnydale?'

'I will be matriculating with Class of 2003.' Willow smiled proudly and Buffy looked at her in shock.

'Are you serious? '

'Say, isn't that where you're going?' The witch asked with a sly smile. Buffy leapt at her, tumbling to the ground in an almost crushing hug.

'I can't believe it! Are you serious? Ah, wait, what am I saying? You can't.' She pulled back, looking at Willow in concern.

'What do you mean, I can't?' Willow asked, putting on her resolve face.

'I won't let you.'

An eyebrow raised on the redhead's face, accompanying the resolve face she'd already put into place. 'Of the two people here, which is the boss of me?'

'There are better schools.'

'Sunnydale's not bad. A-And I can design my own curriculum.'

'Okay, well, there are safer schools. There are safer prisons. I can't let you stay because of me.'

Willow smiled, reaching out to place a hand on her friend's knee. 'Actually, this isn't about you. Although I'm fond, don't get me wrong, of you. The other night, you know, being captured and all, facing off with Faith. Things just, kind of, got clear. I mean, you've been fighting evil here for three years, and I've helped some, and now we're supposed to decide what we want to do with our lives. And I just realized that that's what I want to do. Fight evil, help people. I mean, I-I think it's worth doing. And I don't think you do it because you have to. It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in.'

'I kind of love you.'

'Not as much as you love Spike.' Willow teased and Buffy looked taken aback. 'Don't you dare deny it. I've seen the smoochie faces you two have been making at each other. Even Xander caught it. That vamp is head over heels for you and you know it.'

'Maybe.' The Slayer blushed under the scrutiny. 'He's...' She squirmed, unable to find the words. 'It's kinda overwhelming. He's so...intense, Will. It's like nothing I've ever felt.'

Willow's eyes widened. 'You mean you two have...'

'No!' Buffy exclaimed. 'No, no, no, no, no. There has been none of that. There's been a few kisses...' She trailed off, embarrassed. Willow giggled.

'I never saw you this shy over Angel.'

Buffy pulled her shoulders together, almost hugging herself as she smiled brightly as looked up. 'I don't know Will. This feels...different. Less cryptic doom, more...sunshine and picnics forever. Maybe I'm getting my hopes up...but I feel that even though I have to stay in this Hellmouthy town...I still have a future.'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>Awwwww, things are looking good. Despite the apocalypse.<p>

Yeah, let's see how long that lasts ay?


	35. Looking Forward

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note: **Thank you so much for all the reviews. And even if you haven't let a review (booo-urns! I kid) thank you for at least reading this far. I don't care if there's ten people still with me - I love you all for the support. I am loving my muse at the moment, not so loving the lack of sleep so much, but I'm being spurred on to get this continued every day. I'm going to try, try, try to at least get the end of Season 3 before the end of this week...I'm supposed to be on holiday...but I'm taking the laptop with me! I just can't be away from my word processor least I be hit by inspiration.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Looking Forward<strong>

* * *

><p>Spike gazed down at Buffy, his eyes shining as she smiled back at him, lifting her ivory veil over her face. She was vision in the dress, made of a soft ivory material, intricate beading trailing from the shoulder down the corsetted waist, a train behind her. The rest of the church was empty, but Spike knew if there was anyone else here, their breath would also be stolen by the stunning beauty before them. As the priest spoke, Spike leaned into her, kissing her softly as their hands clasped.<p>

He had never been so truly happy in his entire life.

They turned as one, moving down the aisle towards the open doors and the sunshine beyond, both of them gazing at each other as they walked, their hands tightly entwined together. As they neared the exit, ready to emerge as husband and wife, Spike's chest tightened with a familiar presence. Before they could make it to the safety of the sunshine, a shadow fell over them, and Buffy gasped.

Angelus moved forward, knocking Spike out of his path, as he grabbed Buffy and ripped the veil from her head. He pulled her flush against his chest, his golden eyes looking mockingly on Spike as he lay on the floor. But before the blond could get to his feet, Angelus had his fangs in her neck and red began to stain the beautiful dress that Buffy wore.

Then the dark vampire was gone, and Spike was bereft on the floor of the aisle, Buffy's lifeless and blood soaked corpse before him. Tears pricked his eyes as he scrambled forward-

And he opened his eyes, bolting upright in his bed, back in his apartment in Sunnydale. He took deep, unneeded breaths as he contemplated the meaning of his dream, then dropped his head into his hands in despair.

* * *

><p>Buffy walked through the cemetery, smiling and twirling her stake as she waited for anything to come at her. She was feeling on top of the world tonight, despite the current situation, and nothing was going to ruin her high.<p>

Except Angel, of course.

He appeared, melting into the moonlight like he always did and Buffy took a moment to realise that whilst her heart had once skipped a beat at the sight of him, all she felt now was an inward groan. He was such a killjoy.

'Buffy.' He breathed her name like a dying man and she fought the urge to scowl at him.

'Angel.' She replied, coolly. 'What's up?'

'Nothing. I just thought...I should see you. I needed...' He trailed off and Buffy tapped her foot impatiently. He looked at her with those big brown eyes, almost pleading with her and she sighed. He seemed to sense her annoyance. 'Sorry. I just thought I should tell you...I'm leaving. Sunnydale.'

'Oh.' Buffy nodded. 'Okay.'

Angel shifted uncomfortably. 'I'll stay for the fight. Wouldn't want to let you down.'

_You kinda already did that._ Buffy refrained from saying her thoughts out loud. 'Yeah. Thanks. More help is always appreciated.'

'So, you're okay with this?' He asked, sounding disappointed in her reaction.

'You're a big vampire now, Angel. Whatever you decide to do with your life is your choice.' She looked around, feeling tense. 'Look, I'm busy, I have to get going.'

'Oh. Yeah, of course.' He looked down at the ground, and Buffy rolled her eyes. 'I guess, er, just let me know when you need me yeah?' She didn't reply as she moved past him. _I'll never need you again._ She thought, but didn't look back.

* * *

><p>He knocked tentatively on the door, waiting for an answer. As Joyce opened it, he smiled softly, and she responded in kind.<p>

'Hey, Spike. I'm afraid Buffy isn't home.'

Spike nodded. 'That's okay, Mrs Summers. Was actually you I wanted to see.'

'Oh.' She stood back, opening the door wide. 'Come in, Spike. And please, it's Joyce. You know that.'

'Sorry, Joyce. Jus' being respectful is all.' Joyce smiled at him, shutting the door when he was inside the house.

'I know. What can I do for you?'

Spike fumbled, wringing his hands together. 'I don't know...if Buffy has said anything to you...about us.' Joyce eyed him warily.

'She hasn't said anything, but a mother can guess.'

The vampire nodded, unable to meet her eyes. 'I know you might not approve, what with me being, well, what I am.'

Joyce didn't reply for a second, then sighed. 'A vampire wasn't my first choice. Angel wasn't exactly a stunning first example.' Spike nodded, waiting for her to continue. 'But if I've learnt anything from getting to know you, and getting to know Buffy's...lifestyle...it's that she may need to seize happiness where she can. And knowing you...it's _who_ you are, Spike, not _what_ you are, that counts.'

The blond blinked, confused by her words. Joyce smiled and motioned to the kitchen. 'I don't...you're not gonna be chasing me off with an axe or anything?'

'No.' The woman said, moving around the kitchen and pulling out the ingredients for hot cocoa. 'As much as I would love grandchildren, and for Buffy to live a long and fruitful life...I know that isn't possible. But you put a smile on her face I haven't seen since all this weirdness began, and you can still give her the sun.'

'Yeah.' He said, looking down as Joyce continued with her task. 'Thing is...I have to be careful. One slip could bring Angelus back.'

'Buffy is aware of that.'

Spike nodded. 'Thing is...I want to make sure that doesn't happen. Which means, I may have to leave for a while.' Joyce paused, turning to look at him as he met her gaze with earnest blue eyes. 'I have my soul. But it isn't safe. Anything could happen.'

'Buffy trusts you without the soul, Spike. You know that.' He nodded again, and she fixed him with a hard look. 'But I understand what you are saying.'

'Thing is...' He said quietly. 'I'm not quite sure how to tell her.'

* * *

><p>The knock at his apartment door was expected - he'd been able to feel her since she entered the building. He'd been waiting for this, since Joyce had told him he needed to just be honest with the Slayer and tell her what he needed to do. But when he opened the door and saw her bright smile, he almost faltered.<p>

'Hey.' She greeted, moving into his apartment as he held the door for her.

'Hi.' He replied, shutting the door behind her. 'You okay?' She nodded, turning to face him.

'Saw Angel earlier. He's leaving Sunnydale, after the Ascension.' She didn't look cut up about the news, and Spike couldn't say he was either. 'I think he was expecting me to react, beg him to stay or anything, but let's face it, I know our time is well and truly over.' She smiled at him, then noticed what was hanging on the back of his front door. 'Is that...a tuxedo?' She looked surprised. Spike shuffled.

'Yeah. I wasn't sure if you were going to the Prom but I kinda thought...just in case...' He went quiet, almost shy. Buffy smiled and moved closer.

'That's...really presumptuous, but sweet.' She said, running a hand down his chest. 'Of course I'd like you to come with me. I wasn't gonna assume you were up for it, it's a stupid teenage ritual really.' He shushed her.

'No, it's not. It's important to you, so it's not stupid.' She smiled again, then frowned as Spike's face wasn't showing the same reaction.

'What's wrong?' She asked, concerned.

'Thing is...I need to leave, Buffy.'

Buffy moved backwards, her face shocked as she looked at him. 'Leave? Leave me?'

'No, no, pet, you don't understand.' He shook his head. 'I'm going about this all wrong.' He sighed. 'This soul...it's good that I have it. But it's dangerous. One slip and we have Angelus back.'

'But I trust you. You don't even need the soul.'

'Angel does.' Spike said quietly. 'And what the Mayor said...'

'You're going by what he said? He's _evil._' She emphasised on the last word and Spike smirked a little.

'I know, pet. But it's true. One slip. That's all it would take. And you have a habit of making a man very happy.' He pointed out. 'But I'm not leaving for good. I heard about this demon, in Africa. He could fix this to be permanent for me. Fix it so nothing bad can happen.'

'Nothing bad's gonna happen!' She insisted.

'Well, now you've gone and done it!' He smiled and Buffy thwacked him on the arm.

'Fine. You wanna go to Africa? I'm coming with you.' She announced and Spike smiled wider, knowing she'd say that.

'No, pet. I'm going alone. Too dangerous for you. Plus, you gotta stay here and get yourself all psyched up for college. I'll leave after the Ascension and be back for your first day at college. I promise.'

'But that...that's _months._' She moaned, moving closer. 'I don't want you to go.'

'I have to do what's best, pet. And this is what is best. I can't risk you, I can't risk your friends.'

'Our friends.' Buffy clarified, and then sighed. 'I'm not happy about this. I'm going to bitch and moan. I'm giving you a fair warning.' Then she wrapped her arms around him, holding him tighter than a regular man could withstand. 'But I understand. I can accept it. On one condition.'

'What's that?' Spike asked, resting his cheek on her hair.

'One more day at the beach.' She said. 'No demons this time.'

'Except me.' He said and she smiled into his chest.

'Except you.'

* * *

><p>They were gathered in the library. The whole gang had come together after an attack at a formal wear shop, and they were trying to suss out what type of demon had taken an aversion to the shop. Buffy had arrived with Willow, who had stayed the night at her house. The slayer had filled her best friend in on all that was occurring with the two vampire, and whilst Buffy was still upset that Spike was leaving, she trusted him to come back once he had fulfilled his quest. Willow had agreed with him, that leaving the curse as it was, was too risky. Buffy knew it, but she wasn't happy about it. She knew she wouldn't be until Spike was safely home.<p>

Spike had turned up as they'd started watching the tapes from the security cameras at the shop. Xander was pointing at something as the demon stopped it's attack on the shop and left.

'Right there. See, it's, it's like he just realized he forgot to put money in the meter or something.'

Cordelia frowned at his observation. 'You know the part that totally weirded me out? That thing had good taste. I mean, he chucks Xander and went right for the formal wear.'

'That's right. He left behind his copy of Monsters Wear Daily.' The boy threw back, and Cordelia scowled at him.

'I'm serious. Look at the outfit that Xander's wearing. Now look at the kid that the monster went after. Very smooth lines, 'til he was shredded.'

Buffy shuddered. 'I don't want to see it again.'

'Buffy, I know it's horrible, but if you're going to hunt this creature, you should study it.' Giles pointed out.

'Think I got it.' She said, her face a little pale. Spike placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and she smiled up at him gratefully. Willow's mouth set into a thin line.

'She's right. I mean, you've seen one big hairy bringer of death, you've seen 'em all.'

Wesley opened his mouth to speak, but Spike beat him to it. 'If I'm not mistaken, that's a hellhound. Nasty buggers.' Giles nodded in agreement.

'Yes. It's particularly vicious. It's sort of a demon foot soldier bred during the Machash Wars. Trained solely to kill. They feed off the brains of their foes.'

'Look! Right there, zoom in on that.' Cordelia pointed frantically at the screen as Xander frowned.

'It's a videotape.'

The cheerleader shrugged. 'So? They do it on television all the time.'

'Not with a regular VCR they don't. '

'Perhaps we could stay on the topic for once. What were you doing this afternoon?' Wesley asked, looking to the girl.

'What? Um, I was...' She stuttered, looking panicked, and Xander jumped in, knowing that the cause of her stutter was the fact that she was working at the shop because her family was broke.

'Burning a hole in daddy's wallet, as usual. I just bumped into her during my tuxedo hunt.' Coredlia shot him a thankful glance, unseen by the others.

'What's that? Pause it.' Oz requested and Xander almost scowled.

'Guys! It's just a normal VCR. It doesn't... Oh wait, uh, it can do pause.' He grinned sheepishly and paused the video. The fuzzy grey picture showed a male teen peering through the shop's broken window.

'Hello, hellhound raiser.' Xander quipped.

'I know him. Tucker Wells. He's in my chem lab.'

Wesley made a face. 'Let me guess. He was quiet, kept to himself, but always seemed like a nice young man.'

'He didn't seem the murderous type anyway. Something must have happened to him.' The werewolf replied, his tone even.

Xander looked over at Buffy, who was leaning against Spike, a faraway look in her eyes. 'How's it going over there, Buff?' She jumped, looking over at Xander and smiling.

'Fine.' She said, looking over her shoulder at Spike.

Xander grinned. 'Just wanted to say, congratulations on the better choice.' His eyes flickered to Spike, and Wesley made a noise in his throat. His disapproval was clear, but he didn't voice anything. The smart man valued his limbs.

'Thanks.' Buffy returned, as Spike smiled at the boy. Whilst he and Xander would never be bosom buddies, they got along fairly well for a vampire and a boy who pretty much hated all vampires.

Willow sat up straight at the computer, her expression brightening. 'Ooooh! I got into Tucker's e-mail account. Listen to this message Tucker sent to this kid David Metz at school last week. The Sunnydale High lemmings have no idea what awaits them. Their big night will be their last night.'

Giles frowned. 'So, we have a threat against the students on their big night, a hellhound trained to attack people in formal wear...'

'Oh, are we all catching up now?' Cordelia chipped in, folding her arms over her chest.

'Tucker is planning to attack the prom tonight.' Giles deduced and Cordelia rolled her eyes. Oz nodded, leaning forward a little.

'Once again, the Hellmouth puts the special in special occasion.'

'Why do I even buy tickets for these things, I ask you?' Xander asked, throwing his hands up in the air in mock outrage. Willow looked over at Oz, disappointment on her face.

'Wonder if I can take my dress back?' Buffy stood up straight at the girl's words, looking stern.

'Don't you dare.'

'But Tucker is going to...'

'No!' The Slayer exclaimed. 'You guys are going to have a prom. The kind of prom that everyone should have. I'm going to give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every single person on the face of the earth to do it.' The room fell silent, and everyone looked at Buffy. Xander gulped a little and raised his fists.

'Yay?'

* * *

><p>The plans had been made and Buffy had sent Spike to scout the local demon bars to find out if anyone had traded in some hellhounds. She'd taken it upon herself to visit the butchers and see if that was where Tucker had been getting supplies for the hounds. As she spoke to the proprietor and got the information she needed, she thanked him and turned to leave, coming face to face with Angel. He was paying someone for a bag of blood and he looked surprised when he saw her.<p>

'What are you doing here?' He asked and Buffy was taken aback by his tone.

'Hello to you too.'

He had the grace to look sheepish. 'Sorry. I'm just surprised.'

'Me too. I don't know why though. Where did I think you get your blood, McPlasma's?'

Angel smiled at little at that. 'How are you?'

She smiled, her anger at him still there, but diminished with the thought of a brighter future. 'Right as rain, whatever that means. Don't look at me like that. We're ex, remember?'

He nodded, stepping a little closer. 'I miss you.'

'Could we not, please? When I think about that, all I remember is the bad. And the bad is behind me now, Angel. I have stuff to do. Gotta stop a crazy from pulling a Carrie at the prom.'

'You still planning to go?' He asked quietly.

'Oh I'm going. Got a date and everything. But I'm certainly not going to let some subhuman ruin it for the rest of the senior class.' She missed the stab of hurt on his face at the mention of her date.

'Is it Spike?' He asked, looking around as if his elder would pop out at any second. She looked at him, no expression on his face.

'Not that it's any of your business, but yes.'

He nodded, looking resigned. 'If you ever need my help.'

Buffy sighed, fed up with him 'Look, I got it!' She paused. 'Thanks.'

* * *

><p>Spike looked around, feeling out of place by the punch table in his tux. He watched Xander stroll through the crowd with his date, a quirky girl called Anya, who was apparently responsible for the deaths of thousands of men. She looked like a nice girl, but judging by the look on Xander's face, she was boring the pants off of him. Or terrifying him. Willow and Oz had just arrived, and the red head looked beautiful in her dress. She smiled and gave a small wave at the vampire, who nodded back in acknowledgement.<p>

'This is...a strange custom.' Giles said, shoving a canapé into his mouth. Spike nodded.

'Americans are a weird bunch.' He agreed, his eyes still scanning the crowd. 'She should be here by now.'

'Now, you and I both know that Buffy is very much capable of looking after herself.'

'Yeah I know. Just...don't like leaving her to it. As much as I know she's the best Slayer I ever saw.' Spike said, missing the proud look on Giles' face as he was too busy staring at the door.

'She's upset with your leaving.' The watcher said. 'I think it is best, just to stop any future problems. But she is not happy.'

'I know.' Spike replied, his eyes still on the door. 'But it needs to be done.' Giles nodded, then frowned as the vampire tensed, going stock still.

'Hellhounds?'

Spike shook his head, a smile spreading across his face. 'No. She's here.' His eyes glistened as he stared at the door, watching her enter unseen, looking beautiful in a pink satin dress. She was vision. He looked over his shoulder at the Watcher. 'Sorry, mate. But my date's here.'

He swept through the crowd, coming to meet her at the door. She smiled brightly as she saw him, and he took her hand, kissing it. 'You look beautiful, Buffy.' She blushed, almost curtseying as he came back up to meet her gaze.

'You scrub up well yourself.'

'No trouble?'

'None at all.' She replied, smiling. He motioned towards the dance floor. 'We're dancing?' Buffy asked, and Spike smiled wider.

'That's all we've ever done.'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>I'm off on holiday tomorrow. No doubt my muse will strike me again so I'm taking my laptop with me. I know I left out a lot about the hellhounds in this chapter, but to be honest, my focus is more on the relationships rather than the stuff we all saw on TV already!<p> 


	36. Shot Through The Heart

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Note: **I do apologise. My holiday actually turned into a proper holiday but unfortunately returning to the real world was a bit of a shock. I've been trying to get this written for days! I hope you enjoy.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Shot Through The Heart<strong>

* * *

><p>It had been the hardest temptation he'd ever faced when Buffy had asked to come home with him after the prom. But as much as he wanted her in his bed, wanted to touch her and possess her...he couldn't. Not only was there the risk of losing his soul, there was the fact that what they had, had only really just begun, and he didn't want to ruin it by obeying his baser instincts. When he'd initially turned her down, she'd seemed so dejected, and when he'd explained his reasons, she'd accepted them, but had still been disappointed.<p>

He was too, in a way. He wanted her with him. He never wanted to let her out of his sight. But he knew that the Slayer did not need mollycoddling; she was strong enough to beat his ass to hell and back, if the need arose. Not that he would ever give her cause.

The chaste kiss she'd given him when he saw her to her door, under the watchful eyes of Joyce, had left him burning with need. And he knew there was only one solution to the inevitable sleepless night he faced - alcohol.

So the vampire had headed for the school library, finding Giles alone, and buried in books. Beside the watcher at the main table, sat two glasses and a good bottle of scotch. He looked up and smiled as Spike entered.

'I think that's the first time I've pre-empted your arrival, Spike.'

The blond grinned, taking a seat next to his friend. 'You're catching on, old man.'

Giles scoffed. 'You are hardly in the position to call me old.' Spike just grinned wider and grabbed the bottle, pouring out two glasses of the amber liquid. Both men took a glass, holding them up in a silent toast.

'How you getting on?' Spike asked, after a few moments of silence. Giles smiled tightly, the lines around his eyes creasing. Spike noted that he looked very tired and drawn, more so these days.

'I am...surviving. It has been a difficult few weeks.'

'Buffy is worried about you.' The vampire said. She'd never actually said anything, but it didn't take a mind reader to figure out all of the children held concern for their father figure.

'I know. But I am bearing up. I truly loved her...but the world I live in was one she could not cope with. And I can't blame her. She almost died because of it.' The watched sighed, looking over at the books. 'At least I will always have my books.'

'And your hand.' Spike noted and Giles frowned at him.

'Is there a need to be so vulgar?'

The vampire chuckled. 'Sometimes.' He looked over at the passage Giles had been reading. 'And night shall cover the skies, hailing a dawn in which the two fight together.' He frowned. 'That doesn't sound like anything to do with the Ascension.'

Giles shook his head. 'No. This book pertains to prophecies laid down by a deranged monk in the 14th century. He spoke of lights, keys, coins and "the two". I have yet to figure out if they are fighting for evil or for good, or even who they are. I was researching the Mayor, but...I grew tired of it, as bad as that may sound. I do not believe I can get any more information from the pages Willow stole.'

Spike frowned. 'Light, keys and coins? Sounds like a right nut job. What else did he prophecies?'

'Funnily enough, he predicted the invention of the steam engine. And several other minor things that would have been understood as gibberish in the 14th century. So I am inclined to believe that he knew something at least.'

'The steam engine?' The vampire raised an eyebrow. Giles nodded.

'A beast of steel, a face of round with wheels that swallows water and gives way to cloud.' Giles quoted. 'He also predicted the internet as "a spider running it's home throughout the world" referring to the World Wide Web, I believe and electric as "the power of the sky grasped by men". A lot of them have already been translated, but this was read at gibberish.' He sighed. 'I suppose we should see what else we can dig up on the Mayor. Graduation is only a few days away.'

Spike nodded and looked over at the books they had relating to the Mayor's plans. 'And it looks like it's gonna be a hell of a party.'

* * *

><p>The next afternoon, Spike found himself watching as Giles and Wesley fenced in the library. He was stifling chuckles as the elder man was clearly beating the younger without much effort. Wesley thrust and parried, and Giles merely swatted him like a bug. Even when Buffy walked in with a paper, the distraction did not deter him, and Wesley was almost pouring sweat with the effort of attacking.<p>

Buffy held up the paper, showing the heading. **"PROFESSOR FOUND MURDERED"** She grimaced. 'Faith.' Spike stopped laughing as he read the paper from where he sitting. God bless vampire eyesight.

Giles looked over at his Slayer in concern. 'You sure? '

'One of her pieces. I recognize the brush work.' Buffy's grim expression said it all. Giles took the paper, holding it in one hand while he fended off Wesley's advances with the other hand holding the fencing sword.

'Brutally stabbed. Mr. Wirth, visiting professor of geology. There's nothing in here that bellows motive.'

Wesley frowned, as he lunged for Giles again, his breathing erratic. 'Random killing, perhaps? Fit of rage? Everybody does seem to be going a bit mad, lately. Faith has something of a head start.'

Buffy shook her head. 'Doesn't read. I think it's homework.'

Giles dropped his sword, holding up a hand to stop Wesley's attack. 'The Mayor wanted the good professor out of the way.'

'Which leads to the question, how come? I'm gonna destroy the entire city, but I take the time to kill harmless Lester first?'

'Tying up loose ends? Lester had something or knew something.' Spike pointed out. Buffy nodded at him.

'Then I wanna know too. The Mayor's trying to hide. I say we go seek.'

Wesley held his sword up. 'Ah. By attempting to keep a valuable clue from us, the Mayor may have inadvertently led us right to it.' He smiled triumphantly as Buffy regarded him with amusement.

'What page are you on, Wes, cause we already got there.'

The younger Englishman stood straight, a prim expression on his face. 'Yes, well. You will go tonight. Look over his apartment. Anything of note, report back here.'

Buffy rolled her eyes and grinned. 'I just love it when you take charge, you man, you.' Spike sniggered, earning himself a glare from Wesley, who then looked back to Buffy.

'Uh, we... was that a yes? I have trouble keeping track.' The Slayer rolled her eyes.

'I'll go.' The vampire at the table stood, intending on accompanying her.

'Be careful. If Faith should show up...' Giles warned, but Buffy shook her head.

'I don't think she'll show. Been there, killed that. She's not much for follow-up.'

'Nonetheless, keep watch. Faith has you at a disadvantage, Buffy.'

'Cause I'm not crazy or cause I don't kill people?'

A pause from the watcher. 'Both, actually.'

'I hear you. I can't kill her, fun as it may sound. I can make her cry uncle, though, and I mean to.' There was a steely edge to Buffy's voice as Wesley frowned at her.

'Don't let your feelings about Faith interfere with your work.'

'Stopping Faith _is_ my work. Take a beat to love the synergy.' She looked over at Spike, who smiled in reassurance. Wesley cleared his throat.

'Faith is a footnote. Our priority is stopping the Ascension.' The watcher pointed out as the library doors swung open and Xander marched in, pulling Anya, his date from the prom by her arm. She didn't look happy about the turn of events, her face set in a scowl.

'Easier said than done, monkey boy.' Wesley sighed at the nickname.

'Xander, if you don't have something constructive to add?'

'You guys want to know about the Ascension? Well meet the only living person who's ever been to one.' All eyes turned to Anya, who shifted uncomfortably. Giles assessed her with interest, then gestured to the table.

'Take a seat, my dear.' She reluctantly moved to the table.

'So? Spill.' Buffy said, folding her arms as she moved to stand next to Spike.

'About eight hundred years ago in the Kastka Vallies above the Urals, there was a sorcerer there who achieved Ascension. Became the embodiment of the demon Lo-Hash. I was there cursing a shepherd who had been unfaithful.' Her voice took a slightly upbeat tone. 'His wife had wished that all his sheep would lie with...'

The Slayer interrupted. 'Can we get back to the chase?' Anya's face fell and she shrugged.

'Sorry. Lo-Hash was ... It-it decimated the village within hours. Maybe three people got out. I've seen some horrible things in my time. I've been the cause of most of them, actually, but this... '

'Ahem, I'm sorry, but Lo-Hash was a four-winged soul killer, am I right?' Wesley looked to Giles for confirmation, and the elder nodded in acknowledgement. 'I was given to understand that they're not that fierce. Of all the demons that we've faced...'

'You've never seen a demon.' Anya said abruptly.

Buffy raised her hand. 'Uh, excuse me? Kind of professionally, four years running.'

Anya shook her head. 'All the demons that walk the earth are tainted, are human hybrids like vampires.' She looked over at Spike. 'No offence.'

Spike raised a hand. 'None taken.'

'The Ascension means that a human becomes pure demon. They're different.' Anya finished and Giles raised an eyebrow.

'Different?' He asked.

'How?' Buffy looked at the girl in concern. Anya took a breath, paling a little as she recalled what she had seen so long ago.

'Well, for one thing, they're bigger.'

* * *

><p>Spike smelt him before he entered the library. Anya was busy explaining why she thought the demon was different to the one she had seen, and Willow and Oz had just turned up. Spike couldn't hear any of what they were saying, all his attention focused on the approaching scent. It was overwhelming evil and it left a bitter taste in his mouth. He'd heard the rumours that the Mayor was giving the speeches at graduation, and apparently now he was lurking around the school aswell. So when he entered the library, Spike bristled, standing as he drew closer.<p>

Buffy quickly moved the paper she'd brought in as the Mayor got closer, and he smiled at her.

So, this is the inner sanctum. Faith tells me this is where you folks like to hang out, concoct your little schemes. I tell you, it's just nice to see that some young people are still interested in reading in this modern era. So, what are kids reading nowadays?' He moved over to the table, seeing the books Giles had pulled out about the Ascension. '"The beast will walk upon the earth and darkness will follow. The several races of man will be as one in their terror and destruction." Aw, that's kind of sweet. Different races coming together.'

The Slayer scowled at him. 'You never get even a little tired of hearing yourself speak, do you?'

Wilkins chuckled, looking over to Giles. 'That's one spunky little girl you've raised.' He paused, his eyes gliding to Spike. 'I'm gonna eat her.' The vampire growled, and Giles moved to grab Wesley's sword and thrust it through the Mayor's chest. The man staggered backwards, but quickly regained his balance. Spike moved forward, only to be stopped by a hand from Buffy.

'Whoa! Well now, that was a little thoughtless.' Wilkins pulled the sword from his chest. 'Violent outbursts like that, in front of the children? You know, Mr. Giles, they look to you to see how to behave.'

'Get out.' Buffy snarled as the Mayor took a handkerchief and wiped the blood from the sword.

'I smell fear.' He paused. 'That's smart. Some of your deaths will be quick, if that's worth anything. Well, see you all at graduation.' He tossed the sword back to Giles, who caught it with ease. 'You don't want to miss my commencement address. It's going to be one heck of a speech.' He turned then, uncaring about showing his back to the enemy, and sauntered from the library.

A few seconds of silence passed, and then Anya bolted from the room. Xander looked apologetically to everyone and followed her. Buffy looked around, seeing the paleness of Willow, and how she clung to Oz's arm. Spike was struggling to maintain his human face, and she could feel him trembling as she kept her hand against his chest. Giles was also almost shaking with rage and Wesley looked like he may have just crapped his pants.

'Giles...we need more information. I need to know how to end him.' She sighed, dropping her hand from Spike's chest, then raising her eyes to his. 'We're going back to mine. I need to get my mom out of town, just in case. And then we'll go check out the murder scene.'

* * *

><p>'Well this is...' Buffy surveyed the scene of the murder, her face screwed up at the obviousness of the incident. Faith had no care for finesse, that much was obvious.<p>

'Gruesome?' Spike offered, picking through the books and knick-knacks the professor had owned. Buffy retrieved a box from the side and began to pick up papers and books, leafing through them. She paused at one, then put it in the box. 'What have you found?' He asked her, watching.

'Some report. Excavation of some old lava bed. Guy was a volcano-ologist or something.'

'Anything in there that connects him to the Mayor?' Spike asked, looking elsewhere in the apartment.

'The only thing I understand is the commas. Gonna bring it to Giles, see if he can do better.' She looked over at the vampire. 'Unless you care to?'

'No, tah, luv. Wanna get out of here as quickly as possible and go check your mum has done as she's told.'

It had taken some time to convince Joyce of the urgency to leave town. She hadn't wanted to abandon her daughter, and had made Spike promise several times not to let anything happen to her. She wanted notifying as soon as the fight was over so she could return to her home.

'Yeah, she can be a bit stubborn.'

'Like someone else I know.' He winked and Buffy poked her tongue out. She looked around as she finished filling up the box and sighed.

'I guess we'd better get this back to Giles.' He moved to her, taking the box from her grip. She smiled. 'Why thank you, kind sir.' He bowed gracefully and they exited the apartment, heading along Main Street in the direction of the school. 'So what are your plans after graduation?' She asked.

'I've got a flight booked. Gonna be tricky to get to, and not entirely sure where it is but at least I can travel during the day.'

'That's a bonus.' She remarked, then fell silent for a few seconds. 'I still don't want you to go.' He started to argue but she waved him off. 'I know, I know. The risk is too high, blah blah blah. I can't help it. I just got you, and now you're going. And I can't help but...' She trailed off.

'Can't help but what?' He asked, pausing in his walk. She turned to him, frowning.

'I blame Angel. Because if he was more like you and could control his demon, we wouldn't have this problem. I wouldn't have to spend my whole summer wondering if you're alive or if you've become a Spike-shishka-bob.'

Spike smiled, putting the box down on the ground as he reached out a hand to cradle her cheek. 'I'll keep in touch, kitten. And you know I'll come back. I'd fight my way through hell and beyond to be at your side. You should know this by now.'

'I do.' She smiled, leaning into his touch and covering his hand with her own. 'But I'm stubborn, like someone mentioned. And I worry.'

'You don't have to worry about me, pet.' He smiled again.

Something whizzed through the air and Spike's hand jolted against her face. She looked down, her eyes widening in horror as his did too, and both of them stared at the long crossbow bolt protruding from his chest. He stumbled forward as Buffy caught him, her gaze going up to the rooftops of the buildings around them, spotting Faith behind the Sun Cinema sign, a grin on her face and a cross bow in her hands.

'Spike!' Buffy cried as the vampire slumped in her arms, groaning.

'It's okay.' He ground out, holding the bolt that was sticking out from his front. 'I'm fine. She missed.'

'Let's get you back to the library.' Buffy said, suddenly terrified that the rogue Slayer would fire again. 'Come on.'

* * *

><p>'I'm just glad Faith's such a suck shot.' Buffy said, her concerned gaze on the bandaging now covering Spike's chest. Giles looked up from where he was cutting away pieces of bolt from Spike's naked back. Normally her eyes would be roving over his perfectly chiselled abs, but right now she was just pissed that Faith had dare attack her boyfriend.<p>

'You're sure it was her?' Giles asked and she nodded.

'Saw her on the rooftop. Had some henchman with her too.'

'I heal quick, I'll be fine.' Spike gave her a reassuring grin, but Buffy was still too pissed. Wesley took that moment to speak up from the main library table, where he had been filtering through the books Buffy had returned with.

'Fascinating.' All three turned their gazes to him.

'What?' Giles asked.

'It seems our Mr. Wirth headed an expedition in Hawaii, digging in old lava beds near a dormant volcano.'

Buffy folded her arms. 'I'm not fascinated yet.'

'He found something underneath. A carcass, buried by an eruption.' Wesley explained, looking down at the book he held.

'A carcass?' Giles surmised, and Wesley nodded, still not looking up.

'A very large one. Mr. Wirth posits that it might be some heretofore undiscovered dinosaur.'

'Demon?' Spike piped up, wincing as he attempted to get his ruined shirt back on.

Giles pulled his glasses off, tapping them against his chin. 'Yes, that would be something that the Mayor would want to keep a secret. If it's the same kind of demon he's turning into and it's dead, it means that, well, he's only impervious to harm until the Ascension. In his demon form, he can be killed.'

'Great. So all we need is a million tons of burning lava. We're saved.' Buffy commented sarcastically.

'Well, it's a start, kitten.' Spike said, attempting to get up from the chair. He stumbled a little and frowned. Buffy looked over at him.

'You're certainly graceful.' Spike looked up at the blonde with concern.

'Suddenly not feeling so wonderful.' He got out, before his eyes rolled back in his head and he hit the floor.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>


	37. Hold Onto Me

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Hold Onto Me<strong>

* * *

><p>He was sweating and shaking. His stomach churned in a way he hadn't experienced for centuries. His skin crawled and he could feel the poison working it's way through his system. attacking every part of him and making him feel numb but on fire at the same time. The room blurred and moved out of focus every few seconds, and he wanted more than anything to welcome the blissfulness of sleep, just so he didn't have to feel like this anymore. Even Buffy's hand felt cold to his overheated skin, and her concerned gaze burned him. He was no use to her like this.<p>

In the hours since the poison had taken hold, he'd been taken back to his apartment. Bodies came in and out, but he couldn't pinpoint who they were or what they were doing. Someone had tried to feed him blood, but the mere attempt had left him weaker as he'd thrown up everything. At some point, he'd heard shouting, but he couldn't be sure of the words as the poison seized him. He could feel his body drifting...

Three centuries wasn't a bad run.

* * *

><p>Buffy stared at Spike as he tossed and turned, beads of sweat running down his forehead, his usually slicked back hair sticking to his skin in wet blond curls. He was in agony, and she couldn't help him. It was tearing her in two. Willow was working to identify the poison, and Giles had brought almost all of his research material to Spike's apartment, where they had decided he would be more comfortable. Buffy had carefully got him into bed, removing his shirt and cleaning the wound, which looked angry and red, with purple veins spiking in all directions around it. Her anger at Faith had swelled to massive proportions now.<p>

She was going to pay for this.

The front door opened, getting her attention, and she heard the younger Watcher enter, Giles greeting him gruffly. Buffy stood, moving from the bedroom with one more glance to the sick vampire on the bed.

'Did you reach the Council?' Giles was asking Wesley, who fidgeted under twin gazes.

'Yes.' He looked to Buffy hesitantly. 'They couldn't help.'

'Couldn't?' She repeated, her tone like ice.

'Wouldn't.' He repeated, having the grace to look ashamed. Buffy narrowed her eyes. Wesley swallowed hard. He'd spent a good deal of time trying to convince Travers of the situation, but had received the same message. 'It's not Council policy to cure vampires...'

'Well, did you explain these are special circumstances?' Giles demanded.

'Not under any circumstances, and yes, I did try to convince them.'

'Try again.' Her words were as hard as her eyes.

'Buffy, they're very firm. We're talking about laws that have existed longer than civilization.' He explained, but it only served to fuel the Slayer's anger.

'I'm talking about watching my lover die. I have no clue what you're talking about and I do not care.' Tears were burning her eyes as she spoke, but she daren't let them fall. Not now. There would be time for that when Spike was cured.

'We'll find a cure, Buffy.' Giles' voice was quiet and reassuring. Wesley took that moment to piss her off further.

'The Council's orders are to-'

Buffy turned on him, fury exploding outwards from her. 'Orders?' The Watcher froze, realising his words had caused her anger to be directed fully at him. She couldn't talk to the Council - he was all they had to defend them here. 'I don't think I'm gonna be taking any more orders. Not from you. Not from them.'

'You can't turn your back on the Council.' Wesley stuttered out.

'They're in England! I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing.'

Wesley turned pleading eyes to his elder Brit. 'Giles, talk to her.'

'I've nothing to say just now.'

Buffy took a step forward, her stance threatening. She raised a pointed finger at the Watcher. 'Go back to your Council-'

'Don't you see what-' Wesley started but she stopped him.

'Go and tell them that until the next Slayer shows up they can close up shop. I'm not working for them anymore.' Her words were final as she lowered her hand. Wesley gaped at her for a moment, wondering how she thought she could get away with this.

'Don't you see what's happening? Faith poisoned Spike to distract you, to keep you out of the Mayor's way. And it's working. We need a strategy to-'

She stopped him. 'I have strategy. You're not in it.'

'This is mutiny.'

Buffy cocked her head to the side, unconsciously mimicking Spike. 'I like to think of it as graduation.' She turned to Giles, effectively dismissing the now redundant Wesley. 'I can't sit around. I'm gonna go help the others.' Her eyes glanced to the bedroom. Giles nodded in acknowledgement.

'Yes, of course.'

'You'll watch him?' She asked and Giles nodded again.

'I'll call if there's the slightest change.' She smiled slightly, then moved to the door, passing Wesley. He tried once more to reason with her.

'Buffy, you don't know what you're doing.'

She glared at him. 'Get a job.'

* * *

><p>Walking through Sunnydale, Buffy hugged herself tightly, looking straight ahead as she moved toward the school to find Willow and the others. She sensed Angel before she saw him, but she was too tired to be irritated with him.<p>

'Buffy?' He asked softly, moving to catch up with her. She didn't pause, and he fell into step at her side easily. She noted then just how aware she was of Spike when he was with her, like they were in tune. Angel's presence was almost smothering in comparison. When she didn't reply, Angel frowned. 'Buffy, are you okay?'

'Not particularly.' She sighed, and Angel's frown deepened.

'What's happened? Are the others okay?'

'It's Spike.'

Angel's eyes widened. 'What's he done?'

'He hasn't _done_ anything, Angel. Do you have to assume the worst of him?' She sighed. 'He's sick. Faith poisoned him. He's dying and I need to help him.'

'He's-' Angel stopped in his tracks. 'Dying? He's dying?'

Buffy nodded as she looked back at her former boyfriend. 'I need to get to the school. Willow and the others are working on a cure. Giles is with him for now.' She looked in the direction she had been taking. 'I can't let him die.' She started moving again, and a few seconds later, Angel was at her side again. He was silent, and if she'd looked at him, she would have seen his eyes downcast, concern and sadness reigning his emotions.

'He won't die, Buffy.' He said quietly. 'I'll help. Anyway I can. Maybe me and him haven't always seen eye to eye...but he's family. A-and he's important to you.'

'I love him.' She whispered. Angel blinked, looking up at her. 'I'm sorry. I know it hurts you. But I do. And watching him...'

'Have you told him?' The brunette vampire asked and she shook her head.

'I hadn't told anyone. I hadn't even said it out loud to myself.' Her voice was so quiet, if he hadn't been a vampire, he wouldn't have heard her. She looked over at him, her hazel eyes meeting his brown ones. 'I can't tell him. He'll think I'm only saying it because he might die. It's not the right time.' She smiled a little. 'You now how much of a martyr Spike can be.'

Angel grinned. 'Yeah, I do.'

The school was in sight now, and they completed the rest of the walk in quiet contemplation. When they located the other Scoobies in the science classroom, all of them were elbow deep in research. Willow looked up first.

'Hey Buffy.' She put the book down. standing and giving a cursory nod to the vampire at her friend's side. 'Angel. How's Spike?'

The Slayer smiled wearily at her friend as Xander slowly put his book down. He glared at the vampire briefly, but then returned his attention to Buffy, as worried for Spike as the others were. 'He's getting worse. Mumbling, sweating, the whole she-bang.' Her eyes shone as she looked to her best friend for answers. 'Have you found anything?'

'Finding the poison wasn't that hard. It's a mystical compound - the Latin name translates roughly as "Killer of the Dead". Used on vampires.'

'And the cure?' Buffy asked hopefully.

'There aren't a lot of instances of it being cured.' Willow said slowly.

'But there's some.' The hope in her tone was palpable.

'One or two. Pretty vague accounts.' Willow said, her hand resting on the book. The rest of the room was quiet. Oz was still thumbing through a book, and raised a hand suddenly.

'Hold it.'

All eyes turned to the werewolf. 'You got something?' Xander asked.

'I'm not sure...'

'Be sure.' Buffy demanded, the earlier hope in her voice replaced with steel.

'Okay. "Killer of the Dead." That's our boy, and here's a vamp that walked away from it.' Oz read.

'Does it talk about the cure?' Willow asked.

'Damn.' His voice was barely a breath as he said the word.

'Nothing?'

'No, it's in here, but...'

Willow reached over, taking the book and scanning the passage he was reading. 'Completely reversed the effects... Oh.' Her face went pale, and Buffy was about to burst from the tension.

'What?!' She exclaimed, making Willow jump a little. Xander looked from the Slayer to his oldest friend.

'Come on, guys. The suspense is killing Spike.'

Oz looked over at Xander, then to Buffy as he spoke evenly and clearly. 'The only cure for this thing is to drain the blood of a Slayer.' No one said anything. Silence occupied the room and a pin dropping would have deafened them. Buffy shrugged, folding her arms over her chest.

'Good.'

Xander blinked. 'Good? What'd I miss?'

'No, it's perfect. Spike needs to drain a Slayer? I'll bring him one.' Shocked expressions met her declaration.

'Buffy, if Spike drains Faith's blood it'll kill her.' Willow said. Buffy's face held no emotion as she regarded her friend.

'Not if she's already dead.' The Slayer turned, leaving the room. Angel followed quickly behind, grabbing her elbow as she made to march away. She span, glaring at him. 'I don't have time for this, Angel.'

'Buffy, listen to me-'

'I'm not letting him die. There's a way to save him.'

'You can't kill her. You're not that person, Buffy.' Angel watched the guilt in her eyes, seeing it be swallowed by the anger inside her.

'I am what I have to be. She did this. She can fix it.'

'There's another way.'

'No there isn't.'

'How do you think Spike would feel? About being responsible for the death of another Slayer?' The vampire pointed out and Buffy shrugged.

'He'll deal. It won't be him that kills her anyway.'

Angel shook his head. 'You know him better than that. Despite all she's done, he won't like it. It'll eat away at him.' He sighed. 'Trust me, I know.'

'What else do you suggest I do?' She almost yelled, desperation lacing her voice. 'I can't...I can't let him die again, Angel.'

He reached out to her, but she knocked his hand away. 'Buffy, please.'

'I have to do this.'

'No.' He said. 'No. You don't. I can do it.'

Buffy looked at him in surprise. 'What? No, Angel-'

'Look, we'll go and find her. We can contain her. I will take what is needed and keep her alive long enough for medical help. Then I'll go to Spike and he can take the cure from me.' Buffy blinked at his plan as he looked at her in earnest.

'But you hate Spike.'

'I don't hate him as much as I loved you.' Angel said quietly and Buffy stilled. The vampire looked down. 'And like I said, he's family. I can't stand by and watch him die, any more than I can stand by and watch you take a human life.'

'You'd really do this?' She asked quietly and he nodded.

'For you, I will.'

* * *

><p>Buffy felt sick at the sight of her former ally, as she sat eating junk food and reading comics on the bed in the lush apartment the Mayor had gifted her. The music was blaring, and the carefree attitude Faith displayed was making Buffy angrier. She reached out, turning the stereo off and getting Faith's attention. The dark haired Slayer rolled from the bed, standing to face the blonde, her body shaking with tension and excitement.<p>

'I thought I'd stop by.' Buffy said, keeping her tone even.

Faith smiled and Buffy wanted to break her face. 'Is he dead yet?'

'He's not gonna die. Good try, though.' She replied. '"A" for effort. Your plan?'

Faith nodded proudly. 'Uh-huh. Mayor got me the poison. Said it was wicked painful.'

'There's a cure.' Buffy said quietly and the other slayer looked disappointed.

'Damn. What is it?'

'Your blood.' She watched the other girl's face as she absorbed the information. 'As justice goes, it's not unpoetic. Don't you think?'

'You come here to get me? Gonna feed me to Spike?' Buffy nodded. 'You know you're not gonna take me alive.'

'That's not a problem.'

Faith smiled again, sweeping her eyes over the blonde. 'Well, look at you, all dressed up in big sister's clothes.' She moved forward, her gaze locked with Buffy's as the other slayer mirrored her actions.

'You told me I was just like you, Faith. That I was only holding it in.'

'You ready to cut loose?'

'Try me.' Buffy was almost shaking in anticipation of the fight.

'Okay then. Give us a kiss.' Faith's head reeled back as Buffy punched her hard. She recovered quickly, twirling around and landing a backhanded punch to the blonde. They regarded each other for a second before the fight really began. Kicks and punched flew, each countering with precision and efficiency. It was a brutal ballet, filled with rage and pent up emotions from the past few months. The television smashed in their wake and Faith dismantled a table as she landed on it from a particularly hard kick to the stomach.

No words were exchanged between them as they hit back and forth, moving around the apartment. Buffy threw a hard right to the brunette, but Faith span out of reach, grabbing the other slayer in a lock from behind. They tussled for control, Faith's mouth close to Buffy's ear.

'Not getting tired, are you? I'm just starting to feel it.' Buffy didn't reply, instead propelling herself backwards, and slamming Faith into the wall. The grip was broken, and Buffy threw the dark slayer up onto the landing in front of the window. Faith scrambled to her feet as Buffy ran for her, spearing her backwards, the window smashing as they fell through it and onto the rooftop outside.

As Faith lay on her back, groaning from the impact, Buffy reached around pulling the handcuffs from her back pocket, quickly securing them together.

'Stick around.'

* * *

><p>Spike's head thrashed on the pillows as he groaned, the sweat on his skin soaking the sheets below him. Willow watched, Oz at her side as he cried out in pain, only one word discernible between the gasps, shouts and moans.<p>

'Buffy...'

* * *

><p>'What's the matter? All that killing and you're afraid to die?' Buffy asked, as Faith pulled at the cuffs. She countered Buffy's words with a punch, grunting as she tried to get away from the bindings. Buffy hit her back, then pinned her down, pulling the knife from where it was holstered under her shirt. She held it up for Faith to see, and the brunette glared.<p>

'That's mine.'

'You're about to get it back.' Buffy ground out, punching her hard again. Faith kicked out, and pulled again at the cuffs, snapping the chain. She pulled away, twisting and punching.

'Man, I'm gonna miss this...' Faith grinned, and Buffy saw red, lunging forward and bringing the knife closer. It slid through the darker slayer like a knife through butter, and both girls' eyes widened in realisation of what had occurred. A trickle of blood escaped from Faith's mouth as Buffy pulled the knife free, backing off slowly in realisation of what she'd done. Faith took advantage and upper cutted Buffy, sending her flying across the rooftop.

'You did it.' Faith said as she looked down at the wound in her stomach. 'You killed me.' She looked up at Buffy. 'Still won't help your boy though.' Her eyes grew distant. 'You shoulda been there, Buffy. Quite a ride.' The sound of a truck passing below reached Buffy's ears and she realised what Faith was going to do. As the dark slayer went to take a step back and fling herself over the edge, Angel appeared behind her. He grabbed her neck as Faith grunted, her plan foiled and anger on her face.

'Sorry, Faith. You missed your ride.' He vamped out and sank his fangs in, drinking deep as Buffy watched.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>I know this chapter is slightly shorter than others, but it conveyed what I needed for this portion of our tale. I hope you enjoy :)<p> 


	38. Clear Thought

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Clear Thought<strong>

* * *

><p>'She's not dead.' Angel carefully lifted Faith from her slumped position, listening closely to her heartbeat as it struggled to keep going. 'But if we don't get her to the hospital soon, she will be.'<p>

Buffy looked at them for a few seconds, the little voice in the back of her mind asking if that would really be such a problem if they didn't get her there in time. Then guilt reared it's ugly head. She'd been prepared to kill Faith, locking away everything that told her it was wrong to take a human life, no matter what that person had done to her. Now she felt ashamed, wondering how she could have behaved that way.

Hated someone didn't mean they should die.

'I'll take her.' Buffy said, ignoring the look of surprise on Angel's face. 'You need to get to Spike.' Angel nodded, handing the girl over to Buffy with more than a little hesitation. She glared at him. 'I'll get her there. Just make sure you get to him.' He didn't reply, turning and leaping from the rooftop, landing on the ground three stories below with a grace he was probably only holding because of the Slayer blood. It had been hard to hold himself back from draining Faith till her heart stopped and he could admit it had only been his soul that held him back from that edge.

He ran through Sunnydale, feeling the wind on his face, and he grinned as he picked up the speed. He had never felt like this before. Whilst he had killed Kendra, he'd never felt this power from her blood, perhaps because he was too busy trying to destroy the world to stop and smell the roses. One thing he'd always lacked as a soulless vampire, was an ability to enjoy the world around him. He was too intent on destroying the beauty rather than appreciating it. Having a soul made that possible.

Within moments he was at Spike's apartment and for a brief moment, he stopped at the door. He didn't have to do this. He could leave. Make his way across the world, continue his fight, leave all this behind him.

But then...she'd never forgive him. He may not like Spike, and he may never have a chance with Buffy, but thinking of her hating him for the rest of her days, no matter how many they could be, burned him. He'd never forgive himself if he left her in that much pain.

He'd always be a monster, but he wouldn't be _that _monster.

So he opened the door to the apartments, and took the stairs three at a time, satisfied he was doing the right thing.

* * *

><p>The emergency room was quieter than it had been the last time she was here. So when she called out for assistance with the barely alive girl in her arms, she had several nurses and a doctor descend on her straight away. They whisked Faith off to the emergency O.R, and Buffy was asked to give her details. As she stood at the desk, having questions fired at her, she suddenly realised she knew nothing about Faith beyond her full name. She didn't know her next of kin, or her allergies, or if she liked Saturday morning cartoons and cereal. She didn't know if she liked liquorice, or what type of candy was her favourite. If she preferred diet soda or plain water.<p>

She didn't know the girl at all, and she'd been prepared to kill her. She'd made judgements on her behaviour, _knowing_ that Faith had not had an easy start to life, let alone to being a Slayer.

Shame was the only thing she could feel right now. What kind of person did that make her?

Hours passed as she sat waiting for someone to come out and tell her what was going on. When a doctor approached her, asking if she was with the injured girl, she'd nodded, standing to meet him and whatever news he had.

'She's stable.' The doctor started quietly. 'You got her here just in time. Do you know what happened?'

'We-we were jumped.' Buffy said, repeating the words she'd been practising. 'Walking home. She tried to fight, but one of them pinned her down. I tried to help...' She trailed off, hoping it was enough. The police hadn't been by yet, but she guessed they would be at some point. The doctor nodded, taking in the bruises on her face, the cuts on her skin.

'She lost a lot of blood. We managed to stop it and get a transfusion into her. But she's not out of the woods. This could go either way.'

'Is she awake?' Buffy asked hesitantly.

'No.' The doctor's mouth set into a thin line. 'You have to be aware...she was _very_ badly injured. She may not wake up at all.'

Buffy trembled. She'd done that. Her and Angel. And she would have taken it all the way. Made sure that Faith was dead.

God she was a monster.

The ER doors chose that moment to slam open and the Mayor strode in, flanked by two officers. His gaze fell to her and the doctor, whose eyes widened as Buffy looked away. She needed to leave. But she would come back. She wouldn't leave Faith alone, not again.

'You.' The Mayor spat. 'What did you do to her?'

Buffy backed away, ignoring the doctor's questioning look. She could feel the metal of Faith's knife on the skin of her back, concealed beneath her shirt, covered in the other girl's blood. 'What I had to. What you forced me to do.' She said, noticing the officers reaching for their guns.

'Sir?' The doctor asked. The Mayor continued to glare at her murderously, the outward friendly slash evil exterior she'd seen before gone, replaced by the face of a father. Buffy knew then, that his act of caring for Faith was not an act at all. And she felt worse. She hadn't given that to Faith. She'd betrayed her first.

She didn't wait for him to send the officers after her. She turned and ran, sprinted through the halls to the morgue, and a way out she'd used before. She needed to get to Spike and make sure he was okay.

* * *

><p>Spike opened his eyes slowly, seeing the room through blurred vision. He tried to look around, but his body was submerged in pain and heat. It was like floating in lava. Every inch of his skin buzzed with agony and he would have cried out if he'd had any screams left. A presence in the room got his attention and he reached out, touching cool skin at his left.<p>

'Buffy?' He rasped quietly, unable to figure out who it was. The bed dipped under the weight of his visitor and he realised that it was too heavy to be her. 'Giles?' He asked, trying again.

The figure grasping his forearm, placing it over his stomach. 'Spike.' He didn't place the voice. 'You need to drink.'

'Drink what?' Spike gasped out, his voice raw.

'The cure.'

Spike blinked, trying to clear his vision. Slowly, the figure swam into distinction and he was surprised to see it was Angel before him. 'C-cure? H-how?'

'I have it. But you need to drink.' Angel leant down, vamping out and biting through his own wrist. 'You need to drink.' He repeated, his voice gruff. Spike's nostrils flared at the blood and he recognised the scent.

'Slayer.' He said, seeing the slight wince of Angel's eyes. Spike shook his head, his fevered eyes wide. 'N-no. Where's Buffy? Where's-' he coughed, the dryness of his throat catching him off guard. The coughing hurt more with the rest of the pain in his deteriorating form, and he shuddered and spasmed on the bed. Angel held him down.

'Buffy is fine. The blood is from Faith. But she isn't dead. No one died for this, Spike. You can take it.'

'N-no. I c-can't.'

'You have to.' Angel said forcefully. Spike shook his head, attempting to move away. The younger vampire held him fast, but the blond squirmed away, falling from the bed in his attempts. He crawled along the carpet, feeling the burn of exhaustion in his muscles and bones, knowing he would not get far. 'Spike.' Angel's voice came to him like a nightmare, the scent of blood thick in the air. Slayer's blood. Making him yearn, making his demon scream.

Gods he was so hungry.

The other vampire was upon him, and Spike fought back weakly, unable to stop Angel from pressing his bleeding wrist to his mouth. The ambrosia he'd tasted before hit his tongue with an explosion of memories and a flash of red hair turning to blonde. Faces and memories - the Slayers he'd killed. Buffy. Oh god. This was Faith's blood.

He found a burst of strength and pushed Angel and his wrist away, pulling himself to his knees and then to his feet, grunting with the effort. He turned, aiming for the door.

'Spike.' Angel said, getting to his feet from where had landed. 'You need this.'

'N-no.' The blond stuttered, not looking at him.

'You haven't had enough.'

'I can't drink that!' Spike yelled, stumbling as the last vestige of his strength left him. Angel grabbed him before he hit the floor, holding him against the wall, looking into the tortured blue eyes of his elder.

'You have to.' The brunette said. 'For her.'

'I can't.' Spike wept, cursing himself for the weakness. Angel snarled, pulling back a fist and punching him. Spike didn't react and Angel slammed him against the wall. 'Stop!' The older vampire pleaded, feeling himself slipped. Angel hit him again and something inside Spike snapped, pushing the soul and the man aside. He vamped out, fixing yellow eyes on the younger vampire who _dared_ to strike his elder.

He pushed him away, snarling, almost falling but keeping upright. He lunged for Angel, pinning him down and sinking his fangs into the juncture of Angel's neck. The elixir that Angel had stolen flowed into his mouth and he closed his eyes, drinking hard and drinking deep. Angel groaned underneath him, making no attempt to escape. Spike wouldn't kill him. He'd done what he needed to do anyway.

For Buffy.

* * *

><p>She took the stairs slowly, hesitant to find whatever lay before her in Spike's apartment. She didn't know if Angel had made it here in time, or at all. Her nerves were frazzled. So when she came to the front door of his abode, she waited, trying to sense out the occupants. There were two vampire signatures. He was still alive.<p>

Relief flooded her, and she pushed the door open, taking in Giles with his nose in books, and Xander propped in the old armchair Spike had found in a charity shop on Main Street, another book in his hands. It was a hideous thing but Spike had taken a shine to it, saying it had "history". She'd mocked him for that for days.

Angel was on the sofa, several empty blood bags on the table before him. He looked paler than she'd ever seen him, but that could only mean one thing. She didn't even stop to greet them as she put on a burst of speed to the bedroom, flinging open the closed door. Before her, bathed in early morning sunlight, his wounds healed and bare chested, was Spike.

Healthy, _alive_, Spike.

She smiled as she burst into tears and he turned to her, smiling softly. Buffy threw herself across the room and into his arms, holding him so tightly that if he'd been human, he would have died. He held her back, running his hands over her hair, shushing her as she sobbed into his chest.

'You're alive. You're okay.'

'That I am, pet. Thanks to you.' He pulled back, putting a finger under her chin and raising her eyes to his own. 'But we'll be having a chat about killing Slayers on my behalf, yes?'

'She's not dead.' Buffy said quietly. 'We made sure...' She gasped a breath. 'I betrayed her, Spike.'

His brow furrowed. 'Pet, she was the one...'

'No.' Buffy shook her head. 'I did it first. I never got to know her, not properly. I never gave her a place. She could have belonged with us and I cast her out.' She closed her eyes and leant her forehead against his collarbone. 'I won't let her wake up alone. I won't abandon her again. She might hate me forever, but I have to make this right.' She held onto him tight. 'I'm a terrible person for what I did.'

'Maybe you are, kitten.' He said quietly. 'But a truly terrible person wouldn't have realised all that. A truly terrible person would have killed her outright.'

She pulled away, looking up at him with a soft smile. 'How do you always know what to say?'

He smirked. 'Some people are just naturally amazing, Buffy. You should know that.' He moved to rest his forehead against hers. 'You're one of them.'

The Slayer melted.

* * *

><p>They'd relocated to the library for the war plans. Buffy had thought about everything whilst she'd been waiting at the hospital and come up with a plan. She was tired, beyond tired, and Spike had bugged her to take a nap. She would, but only once she had the soldiers motivated and moving. Then she could maybe spare an hour. She wanted to make sure she had everything out in the open.<p>

'That's the basic plan. So. Am I crazy?' Six pairs of eyes landed on her. Spike smirked, not needing to look at her.

'Well, "crazy's" a strong word...' Willow said, looking at her best friend with hesitancy.

'Let's not rule it out though.' Giles muttered, pulling his glasses out. Buffy looked directly at him.

'You don't think it can be done.'

'I didn't say that. I might, but I haven't yet.' He said, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards.

Cordelia raised her hands. 'Okay, well, I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.'

'We attack the Mayor with hummus.' Oz said suddenly, leaving the room in silence. Cordelia tilted her head.

'I stand corrected.'

'Just keeping things in perspective.' The werewolf said with a small grin.

'Thank you. My point, however, is crazy or not, it's pretty much the only plan. Besides, it's Buffy's and she's slay-gal, you know. Miss Like-to-Fight, so...' She trailed off, unsure of what else she could say.

Xander smiled over at his former girlfriend. 'I think there was a 'yea' vote buried in there somewhere.'

'Well, I need you all on board. Especially you, Xander. You're kind of the key to this figure here.' Buffy looked directly at him and the boy swelled with pride.

'Key? Me? Okay, pride... humility... and here's the mind numbing fear. What do I have to do?' He asked earnestly, leaning forward.

'Do you still remember any of your military training from when you became soldier guy?' The Slayer asked and he nodded in excitement.

'Ooh! Rocket launcher?'

Buffy shook her head. 'Rocket launcher's not gonna get it done. Took a volcano to kill one of these things last time.'

Giles stood, replacing his glasses on his face. 'Buffy, all of this is dependant on your being able to control the Mayor. How do you plan to do that?'

'Human weakness. That's the way I'm gonna get to him.' She took a breath, looking to Spike. She'd already filled him in, and he reached over, squeezing her hand in reassurance.

'Human weakness.' Giles stated.

'Right.' She affirmed.

'Which is what?' The Watcher asked, confused.

'Faith.' She said. Everyone looked at her again and she pulled the knife from her jacket where she had concealed it, placing it on the table. It was still coated in her blood. 'When I was at the hospital, he turned up. And he was pissed. Beyond pissed. He was so angry, so...hurt. She is what made him human. That's how I'll get him.'

'You haven't an enormous amount of time.' Wesley announced his presence behind the group.

'Hey, it's Mister States-the-Obvious!' Xander greeted sarcastically. Buffy glared at Wesley.

'The Council isn't welcome here. I got no time for orders. I need someone to scream like a woman, I'll give you a call.' He looked sheepish as he glanced to the ground and back up again.

'I'm not here for the Council. Just tell me how I can help.'

Silence fell again and then Cordelia smiled at him. 'Oh, you are _so_ classy.' She looked at Willow. 'Isn't he just so classy?'

'It's a start.' Buffy stood, feeling a bit like a general as she did so.

'So there is something I can do? Besides scream like a woman?' Wesley asked. Buffy looked around at her friends, knowing what she needed each of them to do.

'There's plenty. Chores for everyone. Okay, this is how it's going to lay out...'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>I'm going to try and have another chapter up in the next couple of days. I'm back at work tomorrow, and I have a driving lesson and the gym after that, plus I have some paintings to do for my god-daughter (Peppa Pig, oh how I hate her) but somewhere in all that, I'll squeeze out another chapter.<p>

On a story related note, I'd really like some feedback on this chapter. Especially Buffy's epiphany about Faith. I love Faith. I never used to, but she's got such an amazing character. The development on the show was amazing, but I always felt Buffy should have included her more, then maybe she wouldn't have gone to the darkside. Discussion on this is most welcome :)


	39. When The Dawn Breaks

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>When The Dawn Breaks<strong>

* * *

><p>When she'd given everyone their tasks and gotten the finer details down, Spike had insisted she take some time for herself. It had been difficult to drag herself away, but her aching bones and wearied mind had finally agreed with him. Even a cat nap was a good idea. When she'd looked outside and seen the morning sun shining brightly, she had made her mind up and asked him if they could walk back to Revello Drive in the sunshine. He'd acquiesced, despite the reluctance of revealing his abilities. So they'd walked hand in hand, through the streets of Sunnydale, in silence. There wasn't much she could think of to say, too tired to form much thought beyond what lay before them.<p>

Upon reaching Revello Drive, Buffy was relieved to see that her mother had taken the heavy-handed hint and left town. Spike commented on the quietness of the town, but Buffy only sighed and lent her head against his chest, smiling softly.

'Tired, pet?' He asked, and she nodded. He ran his hand over her hair, smiling. 'Still got a few hours to kill. Graduation isn't until four. It's only eleven. You can get a couple of hours kip before the big fight.'

'I know.' She looked to him and took his hand. 'Stay with me?'

He nodded, allowing her to lead him up the stairs and into her bedroom. She crawled underneath her sheets, motioning for him to join her, and he slipped his boots off, moving to lay behind her. She snuggled into his side, yawning widely. 'Get some rest, pet. I'll wake you in a couple of hours.'

'Okay.' She mumbled into his chest, shutting her eyes. Her heart rate slowed quickly and within moments she was asleep. Spike looked down, seeing her relaxed expression, feeling the tension leave her body. He smiled, kissing her temple and relaxing himself.

* * *

><p><em>'Hey B.'<em>

_Buffy span, seeing her sister slayer sat on the swing across from her, smiling widely as she pushed herself higher and higher._

_'Faith. You're okay?' _

_Faith shrugged, swinging higher and giggling. It was a foreign sound coming from her mouth. 'Hanging in there.' She said, slowly stopping her action on the swing. Buffy came closer, wrapping her arms around herself. Despite the bright sunshine belting down on her, she felt frozen. 'Big fight coming up huh? Was supposed to be my big day.'_

_'Is this my dream, or yours?' Buffy asked._

_'Beats me.' Another shrug. 'Guess I'll be doing a lot of dreaming from here on out.'_

_'I never wanted it to be this way.'_

_'We all learn from our mistakes, right?' Faith smiled brightly, standing from the swing. Buffy felt a pang of guilt as she saw a flash of the injuries she'd caused to the other girl._

_'You won't be alone, Faith. I promise.'_

_'I know. We're learning right? Together.' She stretched, looking back at the swing. 'Lotta changes coming up. Things might go a bit wonky.' She looked over at Buffy. 'Want me to push you?'_

* * *

><p>Buffy opened her eyes, blinking. She felt warm and snug and content. The clock on her bedside table flashed <em>13:09<em> and she groaned, shifting round to meet the warm body cured behind her. Spike had dozed off too, and his habitual breathing was tickling her face as she smiled up at him. She reached up, laying a hand on his cheek, feeling his cool skin, slightly warmer than it normally would be. He was kinda like a sponge, absorbing her body heat.

He stirred as she touched him, and his eyes fluttered open. Bright blue orbs met hazel and they were both silent for a few moments. He leant down, kissing her hard and she responded in kind. For a few moments they lay locked in embrace, until Buffy pulled away, panting hard.

'Sorry. Kinda need air.'

Spike smiled, brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. 'S'okay pet. We should probably get ourselves back to the school and prepare the ranks.' Buffy frowned.

'We don't have to...rush, or anything. I thought, maybe we could...you know...' She bit her lip, lightly shrugging and Spike chuckled.

'Not that the thought isn't appealing, kitten, I don't think it's such a good idea.'

'Why not?' She asked, then remembered. 'Oh. I guess.'

'Although I think I'm pushing it just being here with you. It's hard to remember that I'm supposed to suffer when you...' He trailed off, cupping her face between his hands. 'It doesn't matter. I'm just thankful. And I'll be even more thankful when we can get out the other side of this.'

'When you leave.' Buffy said sadly.

'Hey now, none of that.' Spike said, tilting her face upwards as she pouted. 'I'm coming back. I will always come back to you. Don't ever think I would willingly stay away from you for more than one second than I have to.'

'I know. But I just...I'm gonna miss you.'

'You'll be far too busy having a summer full of fun with your friends to even remember who I am, pet.' He smiled and Buffy frowned. She sat up.

'Don't say that. I couldn't forget you. How could I when I lo-' She was cut off abruptly by his hand over her mouth. Her frown deepened as she struggled out of his grip, standing to glare at him. 'What the hell?' She almost yelled.

Spike got up from the bed, staring at her. 'If you were going to say...what I thought you were going to say...don't...' He said slowly, raising a hand. Buffy tilted her head to the side, regarding him with curiosity and not a small amount of confusion. 'Not yet. Because I guarantee you, if you say those words to me...Angelus will be on the loose again.'

Buffy stared, realisation sinking in. Sleeping with Angel caused him to lose his soul...simply telling Spike she loved him would break the curse. Well. That was telling.

'After.' Spike said. 'When I get back.' He smiled. 'If you haven't gotten all doe-eyed over some college boy.'

All he saw after saying those words, was a blond blur flying towards him.

* * *

><p>He'd seen her back to library safely to meet up with her friends and to get ready for the graduation ceremony. He'd been left with Angel and the other group, planning to attack under the cover of the eclipse. There would be vampires attacking from the Mayor's side, so it was up to them to hold them back. Buffy's plan was going to work; he knew it. She was far too stubborn to lose this fight and he was far too stubborn to let her.<p>

When he'd left her behind, the other teens were rounding up the student body, filling them in on the plans. They'd known something was brewing - even the most ignorant of the Class of '99 knew that at the very least. And it would take all of them to fight what was coming. Giles had focused on packing up his beloved library - he wasn't so bothered about the text books, but he owned a lot of very precious tomes and volumes that could not be left behind. The hiring of two U-Haul trucks had been required for moving his books into storage.

Spike held onto the image of her, knowing he wouldn't see her now until the fight was over. The precious few moments he'd had with her earlier would carry him through until he could be at her side, albeit for a brief time, until he left to ensure their future was a safe one.

So focused was he on her, that he didn't hear Angel speak until a hint of annoyance crept into the younger vampire's tone.

'Spike? Are you listening?'

His head snapped up, his eyes coming to rest on Angel as he pulled weapons from the chest. 'No. I wasn't.'

Angel growled low in his throat and Spike fought the urge to reprimand his insolence. He may not have been Angel's sire, and he had no desire to be, but he was still older. 'I was asking what you were planning to do after the fight.'

'Survive. Isn't that what we're all planning? You know I don't usually tend to think further ahead than that, Angelus.'

'Don't call me that.'

'Oh shut up.' Spike tossed back, patting down his coat in habit, before remembering he'd tossed the cigarettes out. He rolled his eyes and bent down to rifle through another chest, as Angel glowered behind him.

'I thought-' He started, and the blond looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. 'I thought maybe you'd come with me.'

'What?' Spike froze, surprised. He slowly turned to look at Angel, who was looking a little embarrassed.

'I thought you'd come with me.' The younger repeated, his eyes not quite meeting Spike's. 'I'm going to L.A. Gonna do what I can, fight evil. Could use a partner.'

Spike stared for a moment, unsure of what to say. Then he burst out laughing and Angel flinched. After several moments of loud guffaws, he turned away, scowling at the floor as he resumed picking through weapons. 'You - you, oh god -' Spike resumed laughing, holding his stomach. 'You actually _thought_ I'd leave Sunnydale? Leave her?'

'It was just a suggestion. Buffy doesn't need us. She has no future with either of us. It's too dangerous.'

'So you'd have me up and run like some kind of wimp?' Spike demanded, the humour suddenly gone from the situation.

'I just thought it'd be better.' Angel mumbled, picking up a sword and turning it over in his hands. The blond studied him for a moment, then snarled.

'You're a berk. Even if she'd stayed with you, wanted you, you'd have left, wouldn't you? Upped and bolted like a wounded pup.' He snorted. 'You disgust me.'

'You can't be happy with her, Spike! We know what happens if either of us...' Angel trailed off. 'Forget it. Stay. Leave. I don't care.'

Spike regarded him with a stern expression for a few seconds, then picked up the weapons on the floor, loading them back into the chest. 'We should get these back to the high school.'

The conversation was over.

* * *

><p>The tension was palpable amongst the small crowd he stood with under shade in the quad. Angel was on one side of him, and Wesley on the other, armed to the teeth, just like the fifteen or so boys behind them. Spike thought he recognised the one that Willow had been tutoring for a bit, but he wasn't here to get to know people. He was here to fight, but the waiting was killing him. Patience was <em>not<em> his strong suit.

The sky began to darken, and he could hear the murmurs from the parents gathered behind the students. He couldn't see Buffy, or any of the others. It was a sea of graduation gowns and chairs, and it was killing him. He hadn't seen her in so long, what felt like an age, despite the fact that a few hours before, she was asleep in his arms.

A roar, followed by a shout of indignation signalled their movement. He'd been poised to run for so long that he burst into the open like a sprinter from the gates, heading straight for where the students were gathered. Vampires appeared as if from nowhere, and terrified parents scurried around like rats. He could hear Buffy yelling, and the students fighting back. Xander's voice rang out, and Oz's, and Spike continued to fight, swatting fledges away like flies. He snarled, vamping out and ripping the head clean off of one vamp, who'd gone for a female blonde student he recognised as one of Buffy's classmates. She'd looked at him like he'd caught the moon, before fleeing for her life.

He fought his way through the crowds, wincing as Snyder got himself chomped by the giant snake. Buffy was yelling at them to fall back, and she caught his eye for a moment, smiling at him with confidence. He swelled with pride as she reached under her jacket, knowing he had to leave and quickly. She was putting her plan into action.

Spike turned and ran, knowing that soon he could have her to himself again.

* * *

><p>'Hey!'<p>

Buffy's voice rang out across the emptying quad, and the giant snake-Mayor looked down at her, jaws flexing in her direction. She held up the bloodied knife, and his giant reptilian eyes narrowed, a growl rumbling through his mammoth form.

'Remember this?' She asked, goading him, feeling sick as she used her actions against him. 'I got it from Faith and I stuck it in her gut. Slid in like she was butter.' _I'm not gonna vomit. I'm not gonna vomit. This is not me._ She kept up her bravado as the snake-Mayor snarled. 'You wanna take it back from me?' She pushed one foot backwards, ready to run. 'Dick?'

He lunged for her, and she ran, ducking his attack and running for arches, in the opposite direction to the students still fighting. The Mayor was behind her, his hot breath nipping at her heels. She pushed herself harder, getting into the school building seconds before he burst through the window, his gigantic body ripping apart the school as he went. Buffy ran for the library, feeling the burn in her legs and the tiredness in her body. But she could not stop - that would mean failure and certain death and she _really_ wanted to live.

Bursting through into the last corridor before the library, the Mayor slowed up his pursuit, getting lodged in the doors. His rage spurred him on and the doors cracked, giving way and crumbling in his wake. Buffy had disappeared into the library, and he roared, following her, and breaking apart the swing doors, just in time to see Buffy dive through a window, her feet the last thing he saw as he paused to take in his surroundings. The library was lined wall to wall with barrels, labelled "explosives". He blinked.

Buffy rolled to the floor gracefully, running the last few metres to Giles, who stayed at a safe distance, his hand poised over the plunger. The Mayor's booming voice followed her with his surprised "Well, gosh" and Giles slammed the trigger down, pulling Buffy to him and covering both of their heads.

Sunnydale High exploded.

* * *

><p>Xander walked alongside Buffy as they surveyed the damage. The injured were being loaded into stretchers, along with a very vocal Wesley who was begging for pain relief. Buffy rolled her eyes as she looked around, seeing the smouldering school, the fires still being put out by Sunnydale's firefighters. She felt a little guilty - she'd once promised her mom she wouldn't burn any more schools down. Although she hadn't technically burnt this one down; she'd blown it up.<p>

'We got off pretty cheap considering.' Xander said, his eyes coming to rest on her, and Buffy nodded.

'Seems like we did.' She agreed, folding her arms and hugging herself tightly. She couldn't wait to get home and shower.

'Spike made it through, Buffy. He'd around here somewhere.' He reached out and rubbed her arm gently. She nodded, smiling slightly. Xander moved away as Giles approached, a wry smile on his face.

'How are you?'

'Tired.' She looked up at her Watcher. He nodded, pulling his glasses from his face and cleaning them.

'I'd imagine so. Quite a couple of days.' Giles looked around, replacing the glasses.

'My brain hasn't really processed everything yet. It's not really functioning at the higher levels; it's pretty much "fire bad, tree pretty". Anything more complex.' She grinned and Giles smiled widely.

'Understandable. Well, when it starts working again, congratulate it on a good campaign. You did very well.'

'Thanks.'

'I, uh, I ferreted this out of the wreckage for you. You may not have any interest, but...' He held out her slightly singed diploma. She took it, slightly in awe of the piece of paper. 'You've earned it.' He looked back at the burnt out school. 'There is a certain dramatic irony in the way things turned out. A synchronicity that almost borders on predestination, one might say.'

Buffy looked at him blankly. 'Fire bad. Tree pretty.'

'Right, sorry.' Giles grinned. 'I'd best check on Wesley, see if he's still whimpering.' He moved away, and Buffy turned away, her diploma in her hands. As she looked up, she saw Angel, stood in the distance between two fire engines. His coat billowed in the smoke and darkness, and Buffy scowled. He was such a drama queen.

Spike appeared them, obliterating Angel's retreating form and Buffy brightened, running to him and jumping into his arms. She wrapped her legs around him and kissed him hard.

'You're okay.' She smiled.

'Yeah, course I am.' He smirked back, holding her tight. 'Had something to grab.' She raised and eyebrow and Spike shook his head. 'You'll have to wait. Let's go find your chums.' He placed her on her feet and she took his hand, following him over to the bench where Xander, Oz, Willow and Cordelia sat.

'Well. That was the most fun you can have without having any fun.'' Cordelia pointed out.

'What about the part where we kicked demon ass?' Willow smiled broadly, still buzzing from the excitement. 'I didn't hate that.' Buffy smiled at her. Xander stared at the destroyed buildings where he had spent so many years being beaten up and shot down.

'Guys, we blew up the school! It's the best day ever.'

'Seems like school's out for bloody summer, pet.' Spike snarked as Buffy leant back into his embrace. Cordelia nodded in agreement.

'Harmony almost got turned. She's fine though. Sobbing, but fine.'

'God, could you imagine her living forever?' Buffy grimaced, and then smiled again as Spike chuckled behind her.

'You okay?' Willow asked, looking over at Buffy. The Slayer turned to face her vampire, beaming up at him.

'Better than, Wills.'

* * *

><p>Spike had gone to get his car after the fight, just so she didn't have to walk home. And when he'd gotten her home, he'd drawn her a wonderful bath, and instructed her to relax. She'd done just that, knowing that her mom was out of town for at least a couple of days. So she'd let herself soak, and soak, and soak...<p>

And had woken up to brilliant daylight, dressed in her yummy sushi pyjamas, ensconced in her duvet.

Alone.

She sat bolt upright, wondering briefly if she'd dreamt the whole, but the aches and pains she was feeling definitely signalled that she hadn't. Then she spotted the boots by the bedroom door, and the duster draped over her chair. She smiled, knowing he hadn't left her to wake up alone. The smell of bacon and coffee wafted into the room, and she got up quickly, padding down the stairs.

In the kitchen, Spike was stood with his shirt unbuttoned, displaying his washboard abs to the world as he cooked a full English breakfast for her, humming away to himself. She giggled, and he turned, grinning at her.

'Good morning, sleeping beauty.' He said, putting the finishing touches on her breakfast and sliding it onto the kitchen island. 'Thought you'd wake up soon.'

'How long was I out?' Buffy said, sliding onto a stool, salivating at the food he placed in front of her. She felt like she hadn't eaten for weeks.

'About fourteen hours. You fell asleep in the bath so I put you in your jammies and got you into bed.' He winked. 'Don't worry, your virtue remains intact.'

'I trust you with my virtue, Spike.' Buffy giggled, stabbing the eggs with glee and tucking into her food like a woman starved. Spike watched for a moment, before beginning to clear away the cooking instruments. 'This is soooo good.' She said between mouthfuls. Within minutes, she'd finished, and was washing down the food with the coffee Spike put in front of her. 'You're like, some kind of domestic god.' He grinned widely.

'That's a new one.' He said, looking up at the clock. 'You'd better go get dressed.'

'Why?' Buffy asked.

'You wanted another day at the beach.' He said. 'So we're going today. You deserve to relax after yesterday. And I checked - no demons this time.'

'Except for you.' She said with a small smile, trying to ignore the fact that now the fight was over, he'd be leaving her soon. No matter how temporary it was, the thought of being without him for whole summer made her feel sick inside.

'Except for me.' He said, running his hands down her sushi pyjama clad arms. 'Now, go get ready.' He turned her around and smacked her buttock as she yelped and ran off. He listened for the sound of her bedroom door, then turned to the sink, washing away the evidence of the breakfast.

_Make the most of today, Spike. You might not see her again._

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>

* * *

><p>I do hope you enjoyed. There's only a couple more chapters left...of this part anyway!<p> 


	40. Farewell Doesn't Last

**Disclaimer:** The work contained within is merely my playtime with the characters created by Joss Whedon and I in no way own any of them, or anything like that. Unfortunately. It sucks. But I'll just continue my plot to kidnap and clone James Marsters for myself.  
><strong>Rated NC-17. <strong>Just in case.

**Author's Notes: **This fic has had nearly 40,000 hits. And over 400 reviews combined on the sites it is posted on. You have no idea how humbled I am by this. I am humbled if one person enjoys my stories. I do this for the love of the Buffyverse, and nothing else, and the fact that I can share that love with so many people...seriously I love you guys. Each and every one of your likes, favourites and reviews just makes me so happy. Thank you, thank you, so much from the bottom of my Spuffy lovin' heart!

* * *

><p><strong>Si Primo Venit<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Farewell Doesn't Last<strong>

* * *

><p>He was gone.<p>

All too soon, she was left bereft of his presence, and hanging around Revello Drive, at a complete loss of what to do with herself. Sunnydale had fallen quiet, as it often did after the yearly apocalypse. The summer stretched before her, beckoning her to frolic and enjoy the last vestiges of high school-hood and her childhood before she began college and the endless stretches of coursework, frat parties and that daunting path into adulthood.

But he was gone.

Oh she knew he was coming back; she knew he would fight tooth and nail to return to her side. But he was still not here. She was lacking of her vampire.

Made her summer seem very cold all of a sudden.

They'd had twenty four hours before her mother had returned and he was leaving. They'd gone to the beach, spent the day in the sun; swimming, lounging, stealing kisses. And when they'd returned home, he'd ordered take out, laughing at her dislike of the overly spicy food he enjoyed, and then cringing when she decided they were going to watch a sappy chick flick. She'd fallen asleep in his arms, smiling widely, desperately ignoring the fact that he would soon be gone.

And he was.

Gone, that is.

Not here.

Far away, and moving further every minute.

This summer was going to totally _suck_.

* * *

><p>'Buffy, come on. It's a <em>beach<em> party. Like, as in, sand plus beer plus music.' Xander moaned, pouting at his best friend. Willow giggled at his plaintive tone, and Buffy rolled her eyes, looking around at the dead zone that was the Bronze. So many people had left town for the summer, it was becoming boring.

'We won't know anyone.' She said, lamely trying to think up an excuse not to go. She would much rather be sat at home with a pint of icecream, making the most of that fast Slayer metabolism that stopped her gaining weight. Killing things on a nightly basis had its perks.

'There's gonna be people from Sunnydale High there. And Oz is playing. Come on, Buffy. We need to get some practice in before college.' Willow said, knowing that her friend needed to spend less time pining. Spike had been gone for two weeks, and Buffy had not seemed like herself since his departure. Even Giles had seemed down in the dumps since the vampire had left.

'Fine. But I refuse to put much thought into my outfit. And no beer.' She said, relenting to their pleas. Xander fist bumped the air and Willow smiled widely.

'You'll have a good time, Buffy. You'll see.'

* * *

><p><em>Two weeks earlier<em>

Giles was driving him to the airport. Buffy had gone with them, just because she wanted the extra time with him. He had only a small holdall with him, and he'd left his duster at her house, just for extra reassurance that he would come home. He stood in the airport, in front of the boarding gate, bathed in sunshine, just looking at her.

They were calling his flight for the last time.

She felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. She couldn't stop them, no matter what she did. He was going. Regardless of the fact that he was coming back, he was still _leaving._ Being elsewhere from her.

Spike looked at her, his head tilted, looking so damn _gorgeous_ in the shirt and jeans combination he'd decided was most comfortable for the trip. In his right hand he clasped his plane ticket so tightly that if he'd had circulation, his knuckles would have been white. Like a flash he was holding her, his free hand clasped in her hair as he brought her up for a desperate kiss.

It was not their last kiss.

He'd make damn sure of that.

And then she was sobbing as the very last call for his flight was made and the attendant tapped her foot impatiently behind the desk. Spike didn't say anything as he wiped her tears away with his thumb and then pulled away, leaving her desolate and alone in the terminal. The door to the boarding tunnel shut behind him, and she almost crumpled right there.

'I love you.' She whispered to the ghost of his presence, and then allowed Giles to lead her away back to the car.

* * *

><p>The beach party was rocking, but Buffy wasn't in the mood. She wanted to leave. Her thoughts were consumed with worry - there had been no word from Spike, and he'd been calling to check in with them everyday since he'd left. His voice had been the one thing getting her through every day, even though he'd told her she was being silly for being so dependant on him. She knew she was, but the newness and rawness of her feelings for him made it feel like someone had ripped her heart out and put it on that damn plane with him. Even Giles had told her to enjoy the summer, and that seeing Spike when he got back would be worth the time they had spent apart.<p>

Absence made the heart grow fonder after all.

Buffy looked around at the gathered youth on the sand, sighing heavily as she perched on the rock, a forgotten drink in her hand and her mind elsewhere. She wanted to leave but Willow and Xander would probably drag her back kicking and screaming, Slayer strength be damned.

'You know, you don't look very happy.' A voice said from behind her and she almost jumped.

_Sloppy, Slayer. Real sloppy._ She blinked at the owner of the voice and took him in. He was tall, about the same height as Angel, but he was clearly human. Well muscled, handsome (in an All-American kind of way) and had boyish bangs hanging over her face, reminiscent of Nick Carter from The Backstreet Boys. She smiled as nicely as she could, trying to project an "I'm brooding, leave me alone" posture. Obviously she never did quite pick up on Angel's habit, because the guy got closer, smiling in a friendly manner as he nodded to her cup.

'Want a refill?'

She looked down at the cup as if it had materialized out of thin air and then shook her head. 'I'm good thanks.' _Please go away._

'So why is such a beautiful girl like you sitting all alone up here?' He asked, his hulking mass getting closer and beginning to annoy her. Two years ago, she would have swooned that a guy like him had called her beautiful, but now, all she could think was that Spike sounded so much sexier when he said it.

'Just thinking.' She said, looking away and attempting to ignore him.

'I'm Riley, by the way. I just moved here.'

_I didn't ask. Go away._ 'Buffy.' She said, her tone conveying the irritation she felt. didn't pick up on it.

'You here with friends?' He asked. She nodded and he decided to take a seat next to her on the rock. Sadly there wasn't enough room to scooch away without looking like a fool and falling flat on her face, so she put up with intrusion. His body heat was practically scalding her. 'I'm a TA at Sunnydale U. You going there?' Another nod from her. Any other guy would have given up by now. Seriously.

'Buffy!' Willow called as she jogged over from the crowd. Buffy felt elated at the appearance of her friend, and she stood.

'What's up, Will?' She asked, almost desperate for an escape.

'You going to come dance?' The redhead asked, bouncing on her feet.

Buffy looked over at the party, and decided she'd rather be away from annoying boys and music. 'Nah. Actually, Willow, I'm not feeling so great. I'm going to head home I think.'

'Oh.' Willow looked disappointed, and then noticed Riley. Her eyes widened and she seemed to understand what was going on. 'Okay. I guess Spike would be calling soon right?'

Buffy smiled. 'I hope so.' She replied, not looking back to see the disappointed look on the guy's face. 'I miss him.'

'He'll be home before you know it.' Willow reassured her, reaching out. 'Come on, stay for a while longer.' Riley got up, moving past them.

'I guess I'll see you around, Buffy.' He said, a hopeful smile gracing his face before he moved back to the party.

'Who was he?' The redhead asked, when he was out of earshot. Buffy grimaced.

'Someone who wanted something I don't have to give.' She replied, almost scowling. She rolled her shoulders. 'Seriously though, Wills, I'm gonna go do a patrol and hit the hay. I wanna be up early to go over to Giles'.' The former librarian was holed up in his apartment, researching something he hadn't discussed with her yet. He was enjoying his life of leisure at the moment though, having no need to seek employment for a while.

'Okay, Buffy. I'm sorry. I really thought you might enjoy this.' She paused. 'Spike will tell you off for moping you know.'

'I know.' Buffy smiled. 'But I'm not in the party mood.'

'Call me tomorrow, yeah?' Her friend asked, and Buffy nodded, moving away as Willow headed back to the party.

Quickly, she made her way into town from the beach, which was fairly local. She wanted to do a sweep in Restfield before heading home, but unbidden, she found herself outside Sunnydale Memorial, her eyes casting over the dreary grey building. Within seconds, she'd made up her mind, and entered, going straight to the long term care unit.

In a private room off of the main wing, funded by her mother's insurance, Faith lay asleep. She was healed but not likely to wake up, according to the doctors. Something had gone wrong in her head, and they couldn't figure it out. Buffy knew she would eventually wake up, but it would take a long while for her Slayer healing to fix whatever had gone wrong.

She'd been trying to visit every day. Sometimes she talked to the girl, but she'd read somewhere once that coma patients could hear everything, and she was worried her voice might just piss the girl off. The dream she'd had indicated that bridges could be mended, but she wasn't sure if that had been her own consciousness or _actually_ Faith. So mostly, she sat in silence.

Tonight, she felt like talking.

'Hey, Faith.' She looked over at the vase of flowers on the table. Her mom was coming up twice a week, seeing through everything the girl had done in the past. Joyce Summers was the forgiving type, and she'd said that if the situation had been reversed, she'd want someone there for Buffy if she'd ever ended up here. Faith had no family; so the Summers' provided one. Even if it could have been argued that she did not deserve it.

'I'm pretty bored ya know.' Buffy took a seat next to the bed, reaching out and holding Faith's hand. The doctor had told her that physical connections could help and Buffy wanted to help. She didn't think anyone was beyond forgiveness if someone was willing to try. 'This summer is a snoozefest. Doesn't help that he isn't here. Even fighting you would be a welcome change right now.' She sighed. 'I know I say it every time. But I am sorry this happened. I'm sorry we couldn't be what you needed. I just hope-' She paused, looking at the monitors, hoping for a change. Nothing came and she sighed again. 'When you wake up, we'll sort this all out. You've been forgiven, Faith. You just need to wake up and see.'

She sat for a while longer in silence, but as time dragged on, she knew she had to leave.

* * *

><p>'It's been four weeks, Giles.'<p>

The former Watcher looked up at her, a book in his hand and a cup of tea in the other. His gaze held nothing but sympathy and concern. He knew just how long it had been. 'I know, Buffy. But none of the numbers I have tried are working. And Willow cannot do a locator spell over that distance.'

'So we just have to wait and see?' Buffy threw her hands up in the air. 'He could be dead. He could be laying the middle of some African desert, dying and in pain and alone and...' She trailed off. 'We have to do something.'

'I don't know what to suggest, Buffy. Spike assured me he knew what he was doing. But I cannot very well fly us out there. The college semester is starting soon. You are moving into the dorm in a couple of weeks. You should be preparing yourself.'

Buffy frowned. 'I don't like not knowing. Do you not have any friends or contacts out there that could help?'

Giles thought for a moment, then put his cup of tea down. 'I can have a look through my diary. Although, I cannot guarantee that anyone would be willing to help us.'

'We have to try.'

* * *

><p><em>Somewhere in the Narobi desert, Kenya<em>

All he could must right now, was a groan.

Nightmarish memories assaulted him, reminding him of what he had gone through. The itching memory of the bugs underneath his skin and the burns littered over his body from the fists of the fire demon. And the searing pain of the demon's touch, giving him what he had sought; a way to anchor his soul and give Buffy what she deserved.

And now it burnt.

Hot blood ran throughout him, and the pounding of the drums in his head gave him nothing but torment and a headache. His stomach gurgled, starving after so long without nourishment. And in the recesses of his mind, the demon he'd lived with for so long, simply shrugged it's shoulders and growled. _You asked for it, mate._

He could never be fully human. He'd been dead too long, held the demon too long. But the wish granting beast he'd sought out had certainly done a number on him. Living through his organs coming to live, dead flesh made whole, had been the most painful experience of his life, and he'd lived with Darla for over a century.

The vampire inside him would make him strong. The soul inside him made him good. _More or less._

And now the heart beating inside him, made him what she needed.

Alive.

* * *

><p><strong>FIN<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Yes.<strong> This is it. For this part of our tale anyway. I will hopefully be starting the second instalment soon. But I feel that this part of the tale is done. And we've got plenty of set up for more Spuffy lovin'.


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